Pouet !

Well, one review, yahoo... Thank you so much to Edweis without whom I would still be at 0. It kept me from despairing, so thank you ! And it has been a pleasure to talk to you afterwards :).

I hope that publishing more chapters will be enough to encourage people to leave a little something and that it is simply because the plot has not really taken off yet. I spent months and months writing non-stop to finish this story so it's really frustrating not to have more reviews, but I had a lot of fun writing it anyway so it's not that bad (just disappointing).

Well, I don't have much to say, a lot of dialogues here again, the plot doesn't take on its full scope yet, but with all that I finished the "introduction to the situation" part. From the next chapter it will start to move, or at least to go into a lot of details about the past relationship of our two little ones ;).

I'll see you at the bottom, enjoy your reading!

Chapter 3: At the dawn of hatred

The tension had subsided when the children reached the first of the different rooms composing the first floor, which was voluntarily the infirmary. Natsu had calmed down strangely quickly after the incident of only a few seconds ago and seemed now completely elsewhere, or rather, Erza noticed, concentrated. His previously expressive features and sparkling eyes had turned into a neutrality far too dull compared to the almost excessive vitality he had shown since his arrival. His olive pupils had narrowed slightly under concentration, and he turned his head from time to time to stare at the void behind him before following them again, granting him a number of "What's going on? " from his new companions to which he almost jumped but never answered. Instead, he was satisfied with a small innocent smile and an apology pronounced with a deliberately silly and candid look on his face. He immediately returned to a more relaxed and usual expression before, after a while and when their attentions were no longer on him, returning to that concentration which seemed sadder and sadder each time it came back. He had just turned around an umpteenth time to gaze at the corridor when they had finally visited all the rooms.

No one knew if their new friend had memorized anything given his obvious distraction, but they were satisfied at least with the fact that they had been able to use the occasion to take care of his cheek, which little Lisanna, in all her sweetness, had treated.

When the visit was over the children decided to head back to the guild hall, but before the group reached the stairs, Natsu pulled Erza's sleeve to hold her, catching her attention.

"We should… wait a little longer before we get back down."

Surprised, the little redhead turned to him, raising a questioning eyebrow, but when she inquired about their new companion's saddened expression she took his warnings seriously and ordered the rest of the group. "W-Wait a minute!" They stopped at her order, surprised but knowing better than to contest it. Erza turned again to Natsu. "What is it, Natsu? Don't worry about Gray, he won't do anything to y-"

"It's not that. Just… maybe you should go check that Jii-chan's done talking to him."

Erza was not sure if it was useful, but her instinct ordered her to listen to him without her really knowing why. She nodded, vaguely wondering how he could know that the master was actually talking with the ice mage. "Fine. I'll go check it out. The rest of you, stay here. Wait until I get back."

She crawled through the compact mass formed by her companions without waiting for an answer and silently walk down the stairs. She stopped abruptly at the bottom, coming face to face with what Natsu had the right intuition to suspect, although she did not understand how he could have known.

A few meters away from her, Gray was sobbing in Makarov's arms, and his face, which was facing her, seemed to have aged a few more years under the affliction wrinkling him. Erza remained motionless, tears in her eyes. Even though Gray had had an intolerable behavior towards Natsu, she could not remain insensitive to the distress emanating from him at that moment, confirming what she had always known.

She was the one who knew Gray the best because she had been the only one who had managed to penetrate his defenses a little and encourage him to talk to her, even if it was still banalities. She knew that their companion was consumed by something, that he was suffering, but had never succeeded in pushing him to confess what was tormenting him.

So, no one knew anything about his past or what brought him to Fairy Tail, just as he did not know her own story or any other, as he never wanted to know them. She had tried to integrate him into the rest of the guild without success, collecting only the lies saying that he preferred to stay alone and that he did not need anyone. The impassibility and calm he displayed in all circumstances tried to mislead them, but she, Erza Scarlet, could not be fooled so easily. She had been in pain for too long not to recognize it when she saw it. Gray needed help.

Unfortunately, all her attempts for comfort had been swept away by the ice mage's coldness, and she had never made any progress in her intentions to lower the barriers protecting Gray's heart and his true personality. She then had begun to believe that nothing could work.

Until Natsu's unexpected arrival.

The new member had triggered something in Gray, that was undeniable. She had no idea what had served as a detonator, but this cheerful boy had somehow activated it, penetrating the other boy's defenses without his consent. Not once had Gray exploded like that and been so violent with anyone, let alone a stranger. Erza was sure that if he had done so, it was only because he had felt oppressed by his presence, and that he had not known how to react otherwise. She was convinced that he had nothing against Natsu personally, how could he when he had just met him? She herself had felt a strange feeling when she came into contact with the boy, even though she had not reacted in the same way and would not be able to associate a name with it. Natsu had something undeniably special, and that was probably what made Gray behave the way he did. Perhaps it would be better to simply prevent them from meeting again, so that this kind of violent quarrel would not happen again.

It was with hesitation that she approached the two embraced bodies, the bitterness having totally left her behavior. None of them seemed to noticed her approach, so she called in a low voice: "M-Master…"

He opened his eyes to the call of his tittle, Gray's puny little body still huddled against him, and meet a febrile Erza staring at him sadly. Softened by the compassion emanating from her, Makarov asked gently, almost whispering: "What is it, Erza?"

"I-It was just to see if we could go back down, but…"

The little girl's gaze was lost on Gray's tiny, snuggling form in the master's arms, who finally broke his grip, considering that the stop of his sobs was a sufficient proof that Gray had succeeded in stabilizing his emotions. He kept his head down as he stepped back, ashamed, and Makarov asked him, putting his hands on his shoulders again. "Will you be alright, Gray? Can they come back?"

The boy nodded shyly and the master beckoned Erza to go get the others, which she did, not without a last sympathetic look at the ice mage.

She went back upstairs, still troubled by what she had just seen, and only stopped when she bumped into a soft surface, taking her out of her muddy thoughts. Her eyes met Macao when she lifted them, and an insecure smile drew on her lips when she saw his, which tried to be encouraging and comforting. Behind him, Wakaba was explaining something to the other children in front of whom he had crouched down, and she noticed that Natsu was standing slightly back, looking totally elsewhere.

"What's going on?" She asked Macao. "The master said we could come back."

"Don't worry, Erza. You're not concerned about that. And I don't think our new little companion is either, by the look on his face."

Erza did not know what he was referring to but she still focused on the pink-haired boy, who did not seem to listen to a word Wakaba was saying to them. As if he had felt the weight of her gaze, she saw him directing his eyes at her before giving her a big smile and a small wave of his hand, to which she blushed slightly. This boy was really a little ball of energy and emotions. Just the opposite of Gray.

This comparison reminded her of what had to be done, and she suddenly said while Wakaba finally freed his audience from his explanations: "I have to talk to him."

Macao titled his head to the side, caught off guard, but did not hold her back when she bypassed him to head for the Dragon Slayer. She made her way to him without caring about the protests of her friends she was pushing around in her path. She took him by the arm, forcingly dragging him away from the others where no one could hear them. Natsu tried to make her let go of him, but it was a waste of time against the powerful grip of the little temperamental mage.

"W-What's going on?" He asked when they had stopped, scratching his head with a silly look.

"Shut up and listen!"

"A-Aye, ma'am!"

Erza sighed at this reaction, which for a reason that was obscure only to her looked like the one she was always getting, except of course from the evil Mirajane. "I think you and Gray should avoid talking to each other." She explained in an authoritative voice. "Stay away from him."

Natsu's arms fell back down his side as he lowered his eyes, visibly saddened. Erza blamed herself for being so dry with him without considering what he might feel. She was going to apologize as she realized he had probably misinterpreted her words, but the fire mage beat her to it, turning his head even further away with a guilty look. "I'm sorry if I did something wrong…" Erza opened her mouth to protest, shocked that he could think something like that when he had done nothing to deserve the guilt he was feeling, but once again, Natsu was quicker. "I wasn't trying to cause any problem, I swear. I just didn't think and-"

"Hey, don't say that! You didn't do anything wrong!" The boy looked up, surprised, and Erza continued. "I just wanted to say… well… I don't want you two to hurt yourself unnecessarily, so…"

"I'll do it."

The assurance with which he had expressed himself and his suddenly resolved eyes confused her deeply. Where did he get these kinds of emotions from, after he had been odiously rejected by one of them? He should be outraged and angry, claiming that it was not his fault if Gray was so obnoxious and that he did not care about him, but instead, he was determined to help them, including the very person who had insulted him. It was as if he knew that Gray was suffering and that he had decided not to blame him.

It was Erza's turn to look down, embarrassed. "You know, Gray is not bad… I don't know why he reacted like that, but this is the first time it happened. It's not your fault, but I think you brought back memories or something. He's just in pain and… well… don't blame him."

She waited for an answer from him but when it did not come, Erza looked up at him and, once again, met the last thing she had expected to see. A huge smile.

It was not only a smile expressing his approval to her request, it was a smile promising unconditional dedication to the task of helping his new family as best as possible, including Gray. A smile that had nothing to do there after the way the ice mage had treated him, even considering the arguments she had just given him. She had simply had to mention Gray's suffering to get this unbelievable reaction from him, she had absolutely not had to convince him to abandon any possible desire for retaliation. Given the speed at which he had approved at her request, he probably never even had one. It had not been necessary to provide him with proof that Gray was suffering. As if he already knew.

Erza smiled timidly, still surprised but pleased by his reaction. This boy was definitely one of a kind.

Gray wiped the last snippets of tears from his cheeks as Makarov stood up, breaking all physical contact with the child. "Everything's going to be fine, my boy. You'll see."

Once again, an affirmative nod was his only answer, but the old master was satisfied with it. A few seconds later, they heard a burst of steps from the first floor, and the group, except Natsu and Erza, appeared in the hall with gloomy faces.

The ice mage looked at Makarov and he smiled at him. "Are you hungry?" Gray shook his head negatively. His stomach was muddy, his mouth dry and his tongue infected with the disgusting taste of his own words. The thought of swallowing anything made him nauseous and he was exhausted. Makarov guessed it and proposed instead: "Do you want to rest? You can sleep in the infirmary for a while, if you want."

This time he nodded weakly, and the master did the same before reaching out to him. Gray grabbed his hand after a second of hesitation, and Makarov guided him to the first floor in silence, holding his little hand in the protective grip of his own.

Two presences in the corridor immediately caught Gray's attention, who looked up at them, his heart beating, realizing who it could be. Indeed, he saw Natsu and Erza walking side by side in the opposite direction in complete silence, and his gaze stopped on the plaster covering the fire mage's cheek. He immediately turned his head away, afraid that hatred and resentment would appear on his previously benevolent face and would be thrown at him.

Yet when he reached his level, he could not help but discreetly stretch his pupils towards him while keeping his head low, but what he saw in the other boy's eyes and expression was nothing like what he should have seen. No desire for revenge, no wickedness, no coldness or even hatred. Just sadness, compassion, and a bit of embarrassment as he too was looking at him from the corner of his eye, obviously uncomfortable.

Why? He had insulted him, belittled him, and even physically attacked him, had projected his hatred on him like a beast for no reason, so how could he carry such an expression? Without really knowing why, he hated it. What right did he have to feel sorry for him?

In his eyes blinded by misfortune, there was only one possible reason why Natsu could be so devoid of desires for revenge after being attacked in this way: he intended to toy with him. After all, his first reaction to his aggressiveness had been to respond to it, it had been instinctive, and it could only mean one thing: his current amiability was a lie. It was just an act, a decoy meant to fool the guild about his true motivations and to simulate a fake benevolence and kindness.

The pain of his heart yet allayed by Makarov's comfort came back, and as rage gradually reappeared, pulling his features badly, he made a decision.

One day, he would make that happy smile disappear from that stupid kid who dared to make fun of him. He was going to regret trying to screw up his life.

Erza fell silent, closing this part of the story. In front of her, Lucy was hardly processing her words, both fascinated and deeply saddened to see how she had always imagined their encounter being so savagely broken by reality. Gray and Natsu... they had always opposed each other, and she had expected their meeting to be hectic, but… not in this way.

Especially not in this way.

By the way Erza described him, Natsu seemed to be the same as today, happy, energetic, and smiling, but Gray... Even if he had always been more measured and calmer than his rival, he was still a warm and friendly person, he was fighting but not violent, and above all, he was benevolent and fraternal. Imagining that he could have been that cold, lonely, and miserable boy made her feel bad. Fortunately, fortunately, Fairy Tail had been there to help him, they had managed to save him from his darkness. She preferred not to think about what would have become of him if they had not.

"And I thought they already hated each other… But this… is something else."

"Indeed, it was totally different. Gray really hated Natsu. He has hated him from the first day, and it only got worse after that."

Lucy was about to ask her if she knew why, but changed her mind at the last minute. If Gray had been so aggressive when he did not know anything about Natsu yet and when the fire mage had greeted him so warmly, there was only one possible reason. Perhaps her vision would have been different if she did not know Gray as she did now, but there was no doubt that he had never wanted to hurt anyone. Erza had said it herself, Natsu must have somehow triggered something in Gray that made him hate him. His despair had simply spoken for him.

This did not exonerate him of his wrongs, Natsu had not deserved to be rejected in this way and she did not dare to imagine how he must have felt about the gratuitous wickedness he had endured, but Gray was too young and seemed to suffer too much to be held truly responsible for his actions. "Gray was really desperate, huh?"

It was not a question, but Erza replied anyway, saddened by the memories this indisputable truth was bringing back. "Yes… He was still extremely disturbed by his parents' and his master's death, but all we knew back then was that he was suffering, nothing else. That his emotions were messed up, that he couldn't handle them, and that's why he reacted so aggressively, not because he was nasty by nature. Fortunately, Natsu realized it and didn't blame him, or they probably would have ended up killing each other."

Lucy grimaced at this eventuality, blessing the sky for allowing Gray to free himself from this self-destructive spiral to became the man he was now. She could not have borne to see him so sad or watch him, helpless, hounding a Natsu who was not doing anything wrong. She had always loved watching them fight and bicker, hiding how much they respected each other behind a bunch of insults each as zany as the next, she loved their rivalry. But never, never, would she have wanted to see her two friends tear each other apart. This mere perspective made her feel nauseous, the worst part being that it had only been hung by a thread for it to happen. Only one small change, and everything she knew about them would never have existed.

All it would have taken was for Natsu not to be this compassionate and understanding man, and the future, her present, would have been drastically transformed. The little Dragon Slayer would have had every right to be angry and outraged by the injustice he was facing, to seek revenge, it would have been highly legitimate. Instead though, he had forgiven. Even as a child, he was already that fair and loyal person she knew by heart, and this observation almost made her want to cry. He really had not changed.

She had always appreciated this side of his personality, but now she cherished it even more. His predisposition to empathy had probably allowed them to avoid the worst.

Yet… Natsu's character was not limited to that. Nothing was rivalling his impulsiveness, and as compassionate as he could be, this characteristic should have been taken into account in his way of dealing with Gray's hatred for him, even if he had forgiven him afterwards. The adrenaline that his insults had risen should not have gone down so quickly, Natsu should not have felt guilty and compassionate before he had even known how much Gray was suffering, let alone adhered to Erza's solution asking him to stay away. The fire mage was combative, in this situation he should have proclaimed loud and clear that he would prove Gray what he was worth, that he would set him on the right path. Perhaps he would even have sworn to save him from his demons, but it did not look like him to submit to passivity.

"I know Natsu forgives easily, but still… I'm surprised he took it all so calmly. It's Natsu we're talking about… Even without talking about revenge, I thought he would have been more… combative."

"This is partly because he felt more sadness than hatred for Gray despite what he did to him. Not to mention that he thought he was at fault."

"That's the point. I can't imagine him accepting to stay away and do nothing, even more so if he thought he was responsible. And it was obvious it wasn't his fault, right?"

"Maybe for others, but not for him. No one realized it, but in fact… Natsu had really no self-confidence at all."

Lucy believed at the time that she had heard wrong, but Erza's expression proved her that she had not. The thought of a Natsu without self-confidence seemed as absurd as the one of a nasty Gray, and she wondered if she had not been wrong to compare him with the child he had once been. Even if it was in a subtler way than his rival, even if his personality remained the same overall, Natsu had changed.

It was not that strange for a child to lack confidence, after all it was something coming along the years and experiences, but Natsu had never been an ordinary person, he was not like everyone else.

"It doesn't look like him…" She muttered, more for herself than for the person she was speaking to.

"Unfortunately, it is. Much less than when he was little, but more than he makes everyone believe. I can't be sure if that's still the case now but he had no self-esteem, and to be honest I think he still has very little."

The firmness of her answer left little room for doubts, but Lucy could not swallow her disbelief and she suddenly came out of her thoughts to stare at Erza, seeking for any sign that she was joking. Her confident, melancholic look informed her of her seriousness once again, and all the consequences of such a truth attacked her simultaneously. Erza had used the present time, and Lucy was well aware of what it meant. And it did not make any sense.

She closed her mouth that her daze had kept ajar, and she whispered her confusion, without really knowing if this discovery made her sad of simply dubious. "I find it hard to believe…"

"That's normal. He doesn't show it more now than he did before. But it's true… in a way. It's complicated to explain, it'll be clearer when I tell you the rest."

Lucy was not really reassured to learn that Natsu's supposed lack of self-confidence was one of the crucial points of the incident that would follow, but agreed to curb her oppressive impatience. "Okay… So, he guessed Gray was in trouble, that's it? Otherwise he had no reason to feel guilty. Gray could very well have been an aggressive person, for all he knew him."

"Not quite. He just heard the conversation between Gray and the master while we were upstairs. I don't know what they've said myself, but since it ended up like that… I guess it gave him enough information, and it affected him a lot."

Which was explaining why he did not take offense to Gray's behavior more than that, and why he questioned himself. Erza seemed to read her mind because she nodded before adding: "And besides… Natsu hates conflict, and he hates being the cause even more. I mean real conflicts, I'm not talking about fighting or our usual brawls. That's why he always seems to take everything so lightly."

Meditating on the question, Lucy recalled all the reactions Natsu had had in various situations, and quickly realized that Erza was probably right. When it came to fighting, he was always the first to throw himself into battle with a zeal of his own, he regularly challenged everyone, but he had never sought to fight for emotions like revenge or hatred. Anger eventually when it came to fighting against an enemy who had hurt someone, whether it was a person dear to him or not, but nothing else. He had never deliberately sought conflict and hurt anyone, and every time two or more of his friends quarreled for other reasons than amusement, he systematically threw an idiocy with the widest smile possible to sweep away any anger or resentment and lighten the atmosphere.

It made him seem to take everything lightly even in the most serious situations, as if he was too stupid to realize their gravity, but in fact it was quite the opposite. It was precisely because he realized it that he was reacting in this way. And he indeed seemed to flee from this kind of conflict like the plague, because she had never seen him be at the center of any of them. On the rare occasions that someone had tried, blaming him for one thing or another, Natsu had always just apologized with a silly look on his face, and the tension would then drop instantly, ending the conflict.

He had always had the gift of relaxing the atmosphere and soothing people's hearts in less than five seconds. All you had to do was to set your eyes on his smiles and silly looks.

"Yes, I think I understand what you mean."

Erza assimilated this answer with a nod, knowing that by her intelligence and perspicacity, the stellar mage would have already realized all this. "But at that time, I didn't know him well enough to really understand him. I didn't even know he had the ability to hear from such a distance, so his behavior really didn't make sense to me. Even before he was already a phenomenon..."

Lucy smiled laughingly, although she found Erza's voice too dull considering the amusing nature of the statement. It should have provoked much more lightness in her behavior, and her near impassivity caused her some uneasiness. That did not prevent her from exclaiming in a cheerful voice though, the image of their indescribable Dragon Slayer happily clinging to her thoughts: "I didn't imagine him any other way!"

Erza smiled affectionately, but Lucy noticed how gloomy and sorry the young woman seemed, as if she was about to disappoint her. Her smile disappeared as she closed her eyes, and her voice almost broke when she confessed: "And yet, Lucy, he was so far from the Natsu you know…"

The stellar mage did not really know whether she should be sad or just curious, but the palpable tension in Erza's attitude oppressed her enough to make her uncomfortable. This was obviously not an information she should take lightly. "What do you mean?"

"When he had just joined the guild he never fought, even with us. When there was a fight, he encouraged us but never participated. If I knew him as I know him now, I could have guessed that something was wrong but..."

Lucy felt her anguish grasping her heart even more firmly despite the innocuous appearance of this new detail. The reasons why Natsu apparently refrained from fighting when he probably wanted to could be multiple, but all those that came to her mind were futile, insignificant. Erza's guilty expression was more than eloquent though: his refusal to participate in the fights nested within a vaster whole, making this singularity a crucial element. If something was wrong with Natsu and could make the imperturbable Titania so nervous, the reason behind the fire mage's unusual behavior was probably particularly painful.

She had no idea what it might be, but she preferred not to ask her friend, who changed the subject: "Anyway, after that Natsu and Gray stayed as far away from each other as possible, and at first it worked pretty well. But Gray was withdrawing more and more into himself, and even I couldn't get him to talk to me..."

Erza's eyes became damp and Lucy felt throughout her being the tenderness she had for Gray and how the memory of him being so unhappy and broken affected her. She could see that she was trying to remain stoic and maintain a neutral voice, but the stellar mage detected all the emotions harassing her as she put into words the depths of her memory. She did not need to imagine what a burden the vision of her two best friends tearing each other apart must have been. Erza's voice carried all its weight and distress.

"I tried everything... To make him smile with idiocies, to make him angry with reprimands, to force him to talk to me with orders or comforting words... Nothing worked, he didn't even look up at me and ignored me completely. He never said a word even to make me leave. I was losing him, but no matter what I did, he wouldn't talk to me anymore. The only time he opened his mouth... was to insult Natsu. And the worst part..."

Erza had to stop at the mere thought of the shameful way she had handled Gray's indifference to her, blaming the boy's suffering on someone who had actually done nothing wrong. When she thought about it now, her heart was throbbing with shame. Yet if there was anyone who could listen to her confession without judging her, it was definitely Lucy. This gave her the courage to confess her crimes. "The worst part is that I blamed him for being the only one Gray was talking to, even if it was to tell him horrible things. I blamed him for making Gray so miserable, when he had done nothing and was my friend."

"Erza…" Although she was surprised by what she just said, Lucy was mostly saddened by the guilt emanating from the redhead woman.

Her friend's compassionate reaction allowed Erza to relax a little despite the dishonor she had brought to Natsu's name and her disgust with herself. She then went on, both bitter and melancholic: "I'm so ashamed that I've never told anyone about this, and especially not to Natsu. I loved him and at the same time... I cursed his existence. He hadn't joined the guild for a long time but he had still been there for me many times, and that's how I thanked him..."

Lucy did not know what to say, feeling unable to cheer her up without lying. Erza's guilt was justified, and even if the mere fact that she regretted her actions was enough for anyone to forgive her, what she had felt for Natsu was still cruel and unfair. It would almost be an insult to Natsu to say that Erza had not done anything wrong, so she could only sympathize in silence. She waited for Erza to finish confessing what she had in her heart, watching for any opportunity to comfort her without being dishonest.

Erza was too lost in her memories and emotions to realize the silence of her interlocutor. She continued with an absent look, as if she had forgotten that someone was listening to her. "The worst part was that Natsu knew very well that Gray was suffering from his presence, and he already felt guilty enough to be the cause of his misfortune. He was doing everything he could to try to save him from the darkness eating him, and I was too blinded by my resentment and his false pretenses of joy to notice it."

The young woman shivered at this reminiscence, and she almost felt like she was confronting this vile grudge again, even though she now knew how much Natsu had suffered behind his appearances of unbeatable happiness. Her shame was all the more unbearable and she bowed down, unable to look anyone in the eye. "Natsu was suffering much more than I was, but I couldn't see anything and was only cursing him in silence. If he had realized it... he might not be with us now and just thinking about it makes me sick."

Lucy did not understand why her feelings could have made Natsu disappear from her life, but the thought of asking her did not even cross her mind. Erza obviously needed comfort and redemption, so now that the opportunity came, the only thing that mattered was to give them to her as much as she would be able. "Listen, Erza… I don't know why you say that, but Natsu is here, right? There's no point in mourning what might have been... it's all in the past and nothing will change it. Whatever happened, Natsu is here and will still be in the future, and he knows you care about him. So, don't torture yourself... Even if you told him all this now, I'm sure he'd never blame you for it."

Erza resisted the urge to snigger in desperation. The fact that Natsu was someone who forgave easily, too easily, did not really comfort her. She would not deserve his forgiveness after what she had done if he found out, and yet Natsu would give it to her without hesitation, inevitably appeasing her guilt. She could not accept it. It was not that she would not have liked to feel better, but she could not tolerate being able to get rid of her shame without ever paying the price for her actions.

Despite that, for having said it to Gray so many times herself, she was aware that Lucy was right on one point: the past had to remain in the past. It could not be changed, and Natsu was now as happy and fulfilled as he could be, no matter what they had both done before. It was useless to still blame yourself for something that no longer had any impact on the present. The simple fact of engaging in this ritual every year to remember and feel guilty for their past sins was enough to expiate them, little by little.

"I know that, Lucy. Excuse me, it's just… these days are really hard and the memories are particularly strong."

"I'm sorry…"

Erza did not really know if she was sorry for her or if she apologized for forcing her to tell this painful past despite her feelings already ignited by these particular days, but whether it was one or the other of these reasons she could not let her feel guilty. "Don't be. Actually, I couldn't think of a better person to talk to about it than you, Lucy. Thank you."

"The pleasure is all mine, Erza." Lucy smiled timidly, and asked when she noticed that Erza was still lost in the thoughts her confessions had generated. "A-Are you sure you're gonna be okay?"

"I'm fine, don't worry. The past belongs to the past, right?"

"Exactly!"

Lucy's smile was stronger this time, and Erza could not help but answer it with her own, although it was more subdued. It eventually disappeared though as she thought of what remained to be told, and she shook her head sadly before resuming the conversation where it had ended. "Anyway, seeing the two of them destroy each other like that... It was really awful. Fortunately, Natsu was not trying to take revenge and ignored Gray's insults, or the situation would have been even more difficult."

Lucy could not imagine how much. For nothing in the world would she have wanted to see Natsu and Gray tear each other apart so savagely in their desperate attempts to silence their suffering, without even wanting to be that violent. She also preferred not to imagine what would have happened if Natsu had responded to Gray's aggressive acts. The already complicated situation would surely have become critical and would probably even have generated irreparable consequences in the relationship between the two rivals. She blessed Natsu for having been able to face these insults without developing any desire for revenge.

"Things stayed that way for two weeks," Erza continued, "and the situation was rather stable. Only... it remained extremely tense and was oppressing them both equally. So, one day... Natsu tried to talk to him."

Can you feel the disaster coming? I didn't stop it there for no reason, I think it's enough to announce the color.

What else can I say? The first part of the past with Natsu and Erza is not there to look pretty, we have some small details about the feelings of our little Natsu, which will be confirmed in a drastic way in the next chapter. What he says, how he reacts etc. will find all its meaning and believe me, what explains his behavior is not insignificant at all and will be the nerve of his evolution throughout the story. I don't know if with the very small clues I put you can understand what I'm talking about, I hope you still noticed that he has a little something different (not to mention what Erza says later about his unusual absence in any guild fight that we know well is particularly appreciated by our favorite Dragon Slayer).

To still talk about Natsu, I hope that what Erza says about him doesn't seem too… too much, especially when I talk about his lack of self-confidence and self-esteem. It will probably seem more relevant to you later, when I go into more details about what tormented him in the past. But even if I only mention it, I hope you can imagine what might explain what Erza says, or at least that it's seems credible enough for you to have a vague idea. I hope that you didn't think "What the f***" when you read that and that it didn't seem completely absurd to say such a thing about him. That says through Lucy's thoughts and reactions I think I have sufficiently supported the fact that this has a justified reason, and that if it sounds weird said that way, it will really make sense when you know more.

Erza, now. The most important thing with her is to be able to describe how much she cares about Natsu and Gray without necessarily making any special events to show it. In this chapter this fact is supposed to be highlighted when she discovers our little Gray sobbing in Makarov's arms. The paragraph where I talk about her relationship with Gray since he joined the guild is short, but I hope I was specific enough for you to feel that she really cares about Gray. I tried to reinforce this too through her conversation with Lucy, when she tells everything she tried to do to get Gray to talk to her again.

About Gray, he's the one who had the most development so far and for whom I've been most precise about his emotions, what torments him and what makes him so cold and sad. From then on, his development will mainly be linked to his relationship with Natsu, which will encourage his feelings and emotions to accentuate and evolve. I guess that what I say at the end of the "past" part gives you a global idea of how it will evolve… I hope you're prepared for the worst :p.

The more than doubtful reason he gives to himself to be able to hate and resent Natsu is rather eloquent about his emotional instability. I think I supported enough the very strange and unnamed feeling he felt the first time he laid eyes on Natsu when he arrived so that you could understand that reaction from him. It's not that I didn't have any ideas to make Gray hate Natsu more even if he didn't do anything against him, it's mostly to show that Gray is trying to find any reason to justify his hatred towards Natsu that he doesn't even understand himself, that he's trying to find any excuse to feel that this feeling isn't unfair and unjustified and that he's not doing a bad thing by being mean to him. The next chapter will be extremely clear on what this behavior has eventually generated, and it's not pretty.

Well, I think that's all I wanted to say. The next chapter, although very important, is very short (only about 3,400 words), but when you read it you will understand why I couldn't stop it at another moment. It's not only a question of suspense, but also of the pure and hard construction of the chapter.

Now I just have to beg you again to leave me a review... I don't have much hope, but well, it doesn't cost anything to ask, so that's it.

Well, see you in two weeks for the next chap' on May 26th.