A/N: Thnx gaiz 4 all the reviews!11! I need at least 3 good 1s or I wlii not update!11111!11

Jesyca dragged herself off of the ground, keyblade still in hand, and stood up. She was standing in an unfamiliar alleyway. She brushed all of the super icky dirt off of her kawaii outfit, which she had ordered online from Nippon (that's Japanese for Japan!11!11! ^_^), and began walking forward.

"What is this place?" she asked herself out loud as she walked into the main plaza of what she now saw was a town.

"This must be another world!" she exclaimed in her beautiful voice. Isn't she so smart and cool? She figured out it was another world in a heartbeat!

It wasn't pretty and perfect like her home world, she noticed. For one thing, nearly everything was a shade of brown, from the cobblestone walkways to the facades of the buildings. She looked up at the sky, which was dark and twinkling with stars.

"I guess I should explore this new world and look for Marina and Kareshi," she stated with determination. "Goodness knows that those two bakas will never last without me there to protect them, though I do ai (that's Japanese for love!11!) them dearly." She then began to walk around.

After a few minutes of exploring the plaza and asking around using her expert investigative skills, she discovered that that the world she was now in was known as Traverse Town. Unfortunately, no one in the current area, known as the first district, has seen Kareshi or Marina. She proceeded through a large door to look in the other districts.

"Hmm, this must be the second district," she said to herself. She could see a bell tower on top of a large blue building in the distance. Around the main plaza, there was an elevated walkway ringed with shops, hotels, and such.

All of a sudden, the same black creatures that had attacked her before crawled out of the ground!

"Oh, you want some more, huh?" Jesyca sarcastically taunted the creatures before taking her badass battle pose. (A/N: Her battle pose looks JUST like Riku's in the games! I am so original and creative!)

Jesyca swiftly lashed out at the nearest one with her super cool black, silver, and pink keyblade, causing it to evaporate into darkness. Two more then lunged at her, but she dodged just in time with a series of cartwheels that only she had the skills to do, then backflipped over them, striking them down with her keyblade before her feet touched the ground.

"Three down, three more to go," said Jesyca with a smirk.

All of a sudden, she heard the voice from earlier that had told her that she was the chosen keybearer for the Crown of Guilt. "Why don't you try using magic?" Jesyca thought she heard it say.

'What? Magic? I mean, I am super awesome and special and stuff, so it makes sense that I have magic, but I can use magic?" she asked, once again completely ignoring the creatures that were trying to kill her.

"Yes," replied the voice. "You, Jesyca Shouhu Erika Manuke, can use magic to defeat your enemies as well! All you must do is focus your energies and believe in yourself super hard!"

"Okey-dokey, random voice! Thanks again!" cheerfully exclaimed Jesyca. She aimed her keyblade towards the three shadowy creatures, which, for some odd reason, were still just standing there, not doing anything, instead of attacking Jesyca while she was babbling on like an idiot. (A/N: SHE IS NOT AN IDIOT!1!1! Stop flamming!11!11 Halp, rviewrs!111 Make the meenie go way!111!)

While continuing to aim her keyblade, Jesyca focused all of her finely-honed spiritual energies, obtained from daily meditation her whole entire freaking life, and believed in herself super duper hard. All of a sudden, a ball of fire shot towards her enemies, exploding and taking them out in sparkly fiery awesomeness!

"Oh wow! A fire spell! I am the best mage ever!" cheerfully exclaimed Jesyca, who was obviously quite proud of herself for crapping out the most basic form of magic. It was an amazing fire spell; the flames were purple, blue, white, pink, black, and green with gold sparkles trailing behind it, and when it hit, it made a small, rainbow explosion that looked like a friggin Care Bear had gotten hammered and thrown up or something!

"Super kawaii desu ne!" exclaimed Jesyca with glee. "Wait 'til Kareshi and Marina hear about what I can do!"

Upon close observation, one of the creatures had dropped something. It was a small, star-shaped object. It looked crystalline in nature, and, as it was shiny, Jesyca obviously went and picked it up.

"What is this?" she asked herself as she made her keyblade disappear, which, though she had never done so before, didn't freak her out in the slightest.

"Looks like you found yourself a star shard," said a voice coming from the door to the first district which Jesyca had come from a short while ago.

Hearing this, Jesyca turned around to face the stranger.

A/N: OK!1! I hope u guys leiked it!1!11 Like I said, I need 3 gud revews or I will nt updatee!1!1

Unlike most of my other parodies, I'm writing this one as I go along. In addition, I'm going to treat chapters the way most suethors do, rather than the way real authors and myself normally do, in that there will be several dozen small chapters with plot points being raised and dropped at a constant rate, rather than, y'know, about twenty-five long, good, concise chapters. In addition, Crown of Guilt is an actual keyblade that appeared in Kingdom Hearts 358/2 Days. I thought about making up an absolutely awful-sounding, ridiculous keyblade like roughly 66% of suethors do, but, in the end, I decided to be lazy. Jesyca may find a keychain later on that gives her a "super cool, awesome, kawaii, unique, etc, etc" keyblade later on though.