If I didn't have a curse to worry about, here's what today's journal entry would look like:

I met with Professor Enchanteresse today and I found out that I meet the minimum requirements for all my classes. I've decided not to drop any of them, which means no free periods for me. I was warned to expect a substantial increase in homework this year, but I've never taken nearly as long to do homework as most other students, so I decided I could probably afford to keep taking nine classes. I hope I'm not overestimating my abilities.

Jasmine and I compared schedules over dinner. She took one glance at mine and told me, "You're crazy. I dropped Herbology and Magical Creatures and I'm still worried about my N.E.W.T.s."

I couldn't tell her that I wasn't crazy because I've always been better in school than her anyway, but I did say, quite honestly, "But I'm also not on the Quidditch team because I put academics before everything else."

To which Aladdin declared loudly, "No, you're not on the Quidditch team because you can barely stay on a broom."

Which of course everyone had a good laugh at. Great to be back at Hogwarts.

Since, however, I do have a curse to worry about, here's my actual entry:

As usual, I was on edge as soon as I left the house yesterday morning. I kept tight grip on my wand until we made it to Platform 9 3/4, and I know my aunts were vigilant as ever. After I said goodbye to all of them and found an empty compartment on the train, I did a bit of deep breathing and told myself that I was safe now, that I didn't need to worry about anything anymore. And it more or less worked. By the time Anna came bounding in, I was able to pretend like nothing was wrong. Jasmine came in and sat down next to me, shooting me the usual why-are-you-friends-with-an-annoying-Hufflepuff glare and everything was nice and normal.

Then the trolley lady came. But it wasn't the usual trolley lady. This woman was a good thirty years younger and I'd never seen her in my life. When she asked, "Anything from the trolley?" she looked right at me and it suddenly occurred to me that this could be her. I calmly told her that we didn't want anything and shut the door.

Jasmine immediately demanded, "What was that about? I wanted a licorice wand!" But Anna quickly shushed her because my breathing was getting louder and far too rapid. She knelt in front of me and grabbed my hands. She told Jasmine to find the tea in my trunk and make me a cup. To her credit, Jasmine didn't question her, though I'm sure she must have been extremely confused.

Anna stayed there and talked me through the attack, getting me to focus on my breathing. I stared at the yellow ribbons that tied off her orange braids, trying to block out everything but the sound of Anna's voice, the feeling of my lungs expanding and contracting, and sight of those yellow ribbons.

After a few minutes I calmed down enough to drink some of Aunt Flora's tea. I have no idea what she does to those tea leaves but it helps settle me after an attack like nothing else. An awkward silence was eventually interrupted by Jasmine clearing her throat. "Aurora? You okay?"

I couldn't look her in the eyes. "Yeah, sorry, this . . . this just happens sometimes. Started last year. I didn't really want anyone to know. But it's not a big deal. I'm really sorry about that."

"She knew." The accusation in her voice made caused my whole body tense up. Before I could say anything, Anna jumped in.

"Well, you see-please don't tell anyone about this-but my sister Elsa sometimes gets like that when something upsets her, and Aurora saw one time, and told us she started having the same problem but that her aunt sent her this tea that seemed to help with the, I guess, after-effects, and she gave Elsa some, which, by the way, we've been meaning to thank you for, Aurora, cause she's used it a couple of times this summer and it worked really well-"

Jasmine interrupted. "So this happens when you're upset? But what happened just now?"

And I couldn't answer her. Her finding out about my panic attacks is one thing. I can't let anyone know about the curse. I don't see how anyone here could possibly look at me the same way if they knew what might happen.

Since then I've thought the whole episode over and I now seriously doubt that the trolley lady was actually the witch I feared she was. But it has reminded how cautious I have to be this year. I guess I can't go to Hogsmeade any. And I'm definitely staying here for Christmas. With all its protective enchantments, Hogwarts is the safest place for me to be right now.

Jasmine hasn't brought up what happened on the train. She's been acting like everything's fine. I'm not sure if that means she's not upset that I've been hiding things from her, or if she's just being like Father and pretending the problem isn't there. All I know is I've had a really hard time falling asleep these past two nights now. Hence me writing a particularly long and detailed journal entry at two in the morning.

Aunt Fauna was right about me needing this. I certainly don't feel like I can talk to anyone else.