Chapter 3

Spotted: B and S rushing into a hospital in Paris, followed by N, E, and Mama van der Woodsen.

Looks like a party. Wonder who's the guest of honor?

Xoxo,

Gossip

Nate

Thank god I'd come with Lily-they wouldn't have let me in otherwise. The receptionist looked angry when we told him we were here to see Chuck Bass.

"There are more of you? Let me guess, you're all his sisters too?" So Serena was in his room already. Was Blair with her?

"No, I'm his mother, actually." Lily said coldly. She didn't add that she was just his adoptive mother. Did it really matter anyway? She was the only parental figure Chuck had.

"I really don't see why you want to visit him," he said angrily. "It's not like he's going to talk to you. He's not awake."

We ignored him. A doctor took us down the hall to see Chuck.

"Well, here we are," the doctor said, opening the door. We all walked in. "Mrs. Bass, may I have a word with you about Mr. Bass's injuries?"

"It's actually Mrs. Humphrey now," Lily insisted, but followed the doctor to the corner of the room where they talked in low voices so that none of us could hear.

I saw that Serena and Blair were just sitting on the floor. Blair looked up when we entered and I saw that there were tears running down her cheeks.

"Nate," she said, and jumped up to hug me. "Nate, I'm so scared…what if he dies…and the last thing I will have said to him will have been to never speak to me again…"

"He's not going to die," I told her firmly, and she let go of me. "He's not," I said again. Though I wasn't sure if I believed it myself.

I then saw that Serena had gotten up. We looked at each other for a moment. We had been talking on the phone lately, but it was weird to see each other in person now, after everything.

"Nate," she said in greeting.

"Serena," I said back, nodding.

Blair sat down again, this time in a chair next to Chuck's bed instead of on the floor. Serena went to stand next to her, and Eric went to talk to Serena. I sat down on the opposite side of Chuck's bed, and then, finally, I forced myself to look at him.

He wasn't awake, of course. I'd already known that he wouldn't be.

He was paler than I'd ever seen him. I guess that's what happens when you get shot.

I'd been afraid earlier that he'd tried to take his own life. Now that barely mattered anymore. But Chuck had so recently lost everything. How could he know that everyone who loved him was here, willing him to survive? I wasn't as scared that he had done this to himself-I was scared, now that it was done, that he wouldn't be able to find it in him to keep fighting.

Lily

The doctor led me over to a corner.

"Mrs. Humphrey," he started in a low voice so that no one else could hear.

That wasn't good. That meant that he didn't want to scare everyone else. Which meant that what he was about to say was scary.

"Mr. Bass was brought here earlier today from a hospital in Prague. He was only there for a very short amount of time. He was brought there by an ambulance. He was found by some girl on the street, who called the hospital. According to her, she found him in an area that has a history of violence and muggers. It was near a club."

That sounded like Charles. Of course he would be near a club, after what had happened. I loved him, but he really did have a lot of bad habits.

"Of course, if may not have been a random act of violence or a mugging. It may have been intentional. But he didn't have a wallet on him, so we're guessing that it was stolen, which makes it seem like a random act of violence. He could have been targeted because many people know how much money he has. The girl found him in an alleyway with no one nearby early this morning. We don't know how long he was there, but we suspect it had been most of the night.

"There's a bullet in his stomach. I'm pretty sure that we already told you that on the phone. We've done some quick ex-rays, and it doesn't seem to have done too much damage so far. Our concerns are mostly the blood loss, which is a lot, and the surgery. The bullet's really in there, and it will be almost impossible to get out without a high risk of damaging an organ. I'm sorry, Mrs. Humphrey, but you may need to get Mr. Bass' affairs in order. You may need to take over his business. You'll have to look for a will, too-he's only 19, but a lot of people who have a lot money like to make wills early just in case."

"So he's…he's going to die?"

"It all depends on this surgery, Mrs. Humphrey. He had about a 40% chance. I just don't want you to get your hopes up."

I stood there, in shock. So it was really true. He could die. It was even more likely that he would die than survive.

"Mr. Bass is in a temporary coma-well, we hope it's temporary. They say that sometimes people can hear in comas. He had a much higher percent of surviving if he fights harder. Try talking to him."

I gave a shaky sigh. "Alright," I said. "I'll try."

"Okay."

I started to walk away, holding back tears.

"Oh, and Mrs. Humphrey?" the doctor called after me. I turned around.

"I'm sorry."

Chuck

Everything was in a haze. All of my thoughts and memories were there; it was just like there was a fog over them. But, slowly, piece by piece, I started to remember.

Blair.

Nathaniel.

Serena.

Lily.

Eric.

Slowly their faces swam into view. I fought to remember more.

Eric. We were related, somehow. We hadn't always been. But we were now. We were close. I used to give him advice.

Lily. My adoptive mother. My father's last wife. Before he died. Serena and Eric's mother.

Serena. My sister, sort of. But I wasn't on great terms with her at the moment. She had hurt my best friend, and I had hurt hers.

My best friend? Nathaniel. We lived together, right? In a hotel…in my hotel…my hotel that I had lost…but I'd gotten it back, because of…

Because of Blair. And suddenly it all hit me, shocking me, like a tidal wave. I loved her. So much. I wished that we were together right now. She was the most important person in my life-

But she hated me. I had sold her for my hotel. I had slept with little Jenny Humphrey. And I hadn't told her.

All of a sudden, I hated myself. How could I have done that to someone I loved so much?

I had run away. Like a coward. Like I always did. Like I always was. I was in Europe…Prague…when it had happened.

Two guys had tried to take the ring…I shouldn't of struggled, I should have known what would happen if I did, but I had to…then they had shot me.

What had my last thought been? That I deserved to die alone. And I did.

Suddenly I thought I heard a voice. Wait, where was I? I couldn't see anything. Or move.

"Chuck."

It was Nathaniel.

"Lily said that the doctor told her that sometimes people can hear when they're in a coma. I don't know if you can hear, but…"

I can hear you! I tried to shout. But I couldn't.

"…but we're going to try to talk to you."

Nathaniel was probably the one who was least mad at me at the moment. But he was still mad. What did he mean by "we're"? There was more? Hadn't he said Lily was there? Why would they be there? They hated me. I didn't deserve all this.

"Keep fighting, Chuck," Serena's voice said. "Don't stop. We need you to get through this."

Serena was there?

"We all love you, Chuck. Keep fighting." Serena still.

"They're going to do the surgery soon. To take the bullet out. They're really good surgeons here. You're in good hands." Nate now.

"But they can't do anything if you give up," he added. "Keep fighting. Please. For all of us."

"I'm not mad at you, Charles." It was Lily now. "What you did was wrong, but I wish you had stayed in New York. I still care about you. Why did you have to run away again?"

I wish I hadn't. But then again I deserved this, didn't I?

"Blair?" I heard quietly. Serena again. "Do you want to say anything?"

She wasn't talking to me but I could still hear her. My heart soared. Blair was there?

I waited. But all I heard was a sob in response.

I cringed internally, knowing that I was causing her more pain.

But she was upset-she cared. What did it matter now, that I couldn't get up and comfort her? When I knew that I didn't deserve this?

Blair deserved better. I didn't want her to suffer because of me, which is why she needed me out of her life. So she could move on. If I lived…well, she would be linked to me forever. There would be no escape. If I died…then, only then, would she have an actual chance of being happy.

If I lived I would just hurt her again.

It was only then that I realized how much effort it took to just be thinking all this. To be listening. To be a little awake. I wanted nothing more than to drift off then. Would I die if I did? If this what Nate meant by fighting?

If I fought enough, would I wake up?

Did I want to fight anymore?

It would be so much easier to stop fighting.

So much easier for me. So much easier for everyone else. They would be much better off, without me.

I didn't want to leave them, this room full of those who cared about me.

But even though they cared about me now, they didn't need me. They shouldn't need me.

I let go.

Blair

The machine seemed almost to be beeping harder when we talked to him. Well, when everyone else talked to him. It seemed almost at a normal pace now. I wanted to say something, but what would I say? I love you? I hate you? I'm still furious with you? All of them were true.

I tried to say something, anything, but all that came out was a sob.

Then, soon after that, it became eerily silent in the room. The machine's steady beeping, which I had been taking so much comfort from, just stopped. At first I thought it was just my imagination. But then I exchanged a glance with everyone else, and we all knew that it had stopped.

I gasped. "Somebody help!" I screamed.

Suddenly the room was filled with doctors and nurses and we were all pushed aside and I had no idea what was happening.

Finally I caught the arm of the doctor that had been talking to Lily earlier.

"What's going on?" I shouted, above all of the noise.

He looked frantic, worried. He tried to get away but I held him in a death grip.

"No more waiting," he said. "Mr. Bass' heart just stopped for a moment. We got it going again, but now he's on complete artificial life. Medicine and machines are the only things keeping him alive now, instead of the natural beating of his heart. We're going to have to do the surgery now."

We all moved out of the way at Chuck was moved to a different room. We were quickly ushered to the waiting room.

"Well what are we supposed to do now?" I demanded. Being angry was easier than being sad, or worried. Not that I wasn't still both of those things.

"Wait," Nate sighed, collapsing into a nearby chair.

We all sat down around him. It was going to be a long night.

AN: I hope you guys enjoyed the chapter! I don't really have much to say, but I feel like I should add an author's note. I'm done with the next chapter after this, so I'll most likely post it tomorrow afternoon.

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