Disclaimer: Don't own anyone but Agent Black.
Warnings: Crazy. That is all.
Episode 3: Enter Agent Maroon
Simmons wasn't too sure what was going on. Grif had just reappeared, extra grumpy about having his day long nap ended, when a ship dropped out of nowhere, scooped him up, and off they went. "What the... ?" he muttered, and then a black Spartan came bouncing out of the cockpit.
"Hello there!" it, she, chirped. "Can you fix the cloaking system in a space ship? I've got a friend who's effectively a sitting duck." Simmons froze up, alarms blaring in his head. It was a girl. A girl. Girl. Girl. Girl. GIRL! "Hey! Stop spacing out man! I really need an IT guru!" He shook his head and looked away.
"Do you have a voice modulator?" he squeaked, glad that his helmet hid his face. The woman behind him sighed and there was a small electrical noise.
"Better, McFussy Pants?" the Spartan asked. Simmons flinched. It was Grif's voice.
"No. Now I'm going to be calling you Grif," he groused, turning back around. The black helmet lolled a bit and Simmons could almost feel her rolling her eyes.
"Fine," Grif's voice said then there was a slight fuzzing and an unfamiliar male voice asked, "this better, McFussy?"
"A little, but you still put me in mind of Grif. Relation of yours?" Simmons asked, a little more at ease now that the woman's voice was masked.
"Nope. Now, cloaking systems?" she answered, leaning back on her left leg. Shaking his head, Simmons thought back on his time in training.
"As long as it isn't a major problem, I should be able to fix it," he said, nodding.
"Then off we go! Oh, but before we do," she pushed a crate toward him, "suit up, Agent Maroon." He could have sworn there was a smirk in that voice, but Simmons forcefully ignored that and changed into the other armor. It was almost exactly like Black's, only maroon and with a different style helmet. With gray accents. And when did he start calling her Black? "Oh yeah, I never told you my name," Black called. Simmons tilted his head. "On this ship, and my friend's, go ahead and call me Marley. Otherwise, I'm Agent Black." A chill went down Simmons back. Agent Black?! Oh man, what had he gotten himself into?
/*/
Turned out, he only got himself into fixing a ship's computer. And meeting this crazy Spartan named George. Apparently, he had a code name too. Georgia. Simmons was glad that his helmet came with the option of switching off the mic, otherwise he might have bruised a rib trying not to laugh. Or laughing and then getting punched. As it was, Simmons couldn't help but snicker and think, 'Any particular reason you got a girl's name for a secret call sign?' "Thanks for the help Rick! I'm not the best with this kind of work. I'm more of a go in guns blazing kinda guy," George said while Simmons worked, friendly amusement in his voice. Simmons jerked slightly. Rick? His name wasn't Rick. It was Simmons.
"Yeah, Rick's a real techno geek. And shy. And can't talk to girls," Marley said. Simmons glared at her under his visor for a moment before returning to his work.
"Oh! Is that why you sound like York? I wondered," George said, nodding. Simmons could feel his face heating and was sure it was as red as his armor by now.
"Yeah. Poor kid. I'm planning on helping him with that. Probably what I'll be doing the most with him. Can't steal him from his post too often or too long. He's actually a dependable soldier, even if he is a suck up," Marley said, nodded.
"Kid? I'm not a kid. You're a kid," Simmons muttered, once again glad he'd switched off his mic. Marley's head titled slightly toward him and he could have sworn she heard him through the helmet.
"A suck up? Marley, you're making a suck up a member of your team? I thought you hated suck ups!" George said. Marley shrugged, her shoulders smoothly flowing under her armor.
"I do. But just like Dex is a super slacker off my ship, Rick can develop a different attitude on ship. I'm counting on that actually." Simmons blinked. Dex? George shook his head.
"You can't just do that, Marley! Not all of them are going to be like Dex!"
"But what if they are!" Marley shot back, taking a step closer, putting her helmet right up next to George's. "What if they are?" she asked a bit softer, backing up and looking down. George shook his head at the lowered helmet.
"Look, I just don't want you to get hurt, okay Marlene?" he asked with a sigh. Marley shook her head.
"It's not that simple, George, and you know it," she said, then stalked back to her ship. "Come on Rick. Time to take you back to Blood Gulch." Simmons looked to George, and turned his mic back on.
"What's she talking about?" George turned to him, then chuckled softly, laying a hand on his shoulder.
"You'll find out, Agent Maroon. Just... when she talks, listen. When she teaches, memorize it. Burn her words into your memory. It might just save your life, Rick," he said, and then he was gone, headed toward what passed as his living room. Simmons sighed. The Blues never had to deal with stuff like this.
/*/
Church groaned as once again, Captain Flowers went off on a shrink kick. That calm, placid voice, that 'I just want the best for you' attitude. Ugh! He was so... "Hippie," a voice supplied. Church nodded. Captain Flowers was a... "Can I shoot him for you?" the voice asked. Wait. Church turned and saw the orange soldier from red team.
"Gah! When did you get there?!" Church asked, jumping back and bringing his rifle up. The orange helmet turned to him, somehow conveying a 'really dude?' expression.
"Can I shoot your hippie Captain or not?" the soldier asked, drawing attention to the rifle in his hands.
"No! You can't shoot my Captain!" Church protested, eying the weapon warily. He'd seen what the other solider could do with it. In fact, Church was fairly sure the man in front of him missed on purpose. The other man sighed, his rifle dipping down to aim at the rock of the canyon.
"Everyone keeps saying that, but whenever he opens his mouth all I hear is 'shoot me shoot me shoot me I want to die shoot me.' It's really quite annoying," the orange soldier said. Church chuckled nervously. Oh man, he was stuck up on a cliff with a psychopath! 'Tucker! Save me! Wait. He's as bad a shot as me. Don't save me!' "Dude, you feeling alright? Sounds like you're hyperventilating or something. Relax! I'm not going to shoot you. Slug you, maybe. Push you off the cliff... nah. Probably not. Too much work," the orange soldier said, sitting back against the canyon wall, for all the world as though he was talking to a friend.
"Are you bi-polar?" Church found himself asking. The orange soldier chuckled.
"Maybe. But then, we're all mad here, aren't we?" he asked wryly. Church could practically see the melancholy half smile on his enemies face.
"Why are you here?!" Church yelled at the infuriating man, but that irritating orange helmet just titled back slightly and another wry laugh was transmitted through the speakers.
"That... is one of the great mysteries of life, isn't it? But more immediately... I needed to get away from Sarge. That man is only tolerable in short bursts. Much like your Captain. Only better. Because I don't want to shoot him. Unless he's obsessing. Then I want to pistol whip him. A lot of problems can be solved with a quick pistol whip to the face," he said. Church shook his head at the man.
"You... are strange. Really, really, strange," he said. The orange guy shrugged.
"Maybe, but so are you," he rebutted. Church decided he needed to learn this guy's name.
"What's your name anyway?" he asked, prompting the man to turn toward him. He stared at the cobalt helmet, then chuckled.
"Grif. Private Dexter Grif, First Class. Pleasure to officially meet you," the other man, Grif, said as he held out a hand.
"Private Leonard Church, First Class. Likewise," Church said, taking the offered hand and giving it a firm shake. Grif nodded.
"You seem a decent fellow, I'd hate to kill you."
"You seem a decent fellow, I'd hate to die."
"I'll try not to hit you."
"And I'll try to hit you. That way, you should be fairly safe." Grif laughed, nearly falling over.
"Oh man! I can't believe you admit to being such a bad shot that actually aiming for someone makes them safer!" he said between wheezes. Church laughed too.
"Yeah, it's pretty pathetic, isn't it?" he asked, and man did it feel good to just cut loose like this!
"Ya know, I'm on Red Team, right?" Grif finally asked, having regained his breath. Church sighed.
"Yeah. So?" he asked, hoping Grif wouldn't end this almost-friendship.
"Maybe... maybe you should try... I don't know, complaining to your other teammate? Maybe the two of you can develop the same kind of unstated friendship me and Simmons have. I annoy the living daylights out of him by being essentially his polar opposite, and he amuses me by getting annoyed. He annoys me by being a suck up and I amuse him by being annoyed. It's... it's weird but it works. Or maybe it works because it's weird. I don't know and really I don't care. I'm just glad there's something that makes this canyon tolerable, ya know?" Church nodded. He could certainly understand that.
"Church! Save me!" Tucker yelled, running toward the ridge where the two were resting. Grif chuckled and started backing away.
"Your teammate's calling you Church. You should see what he needs. And remember, he might not be as bad as you think," he said and then he was gone, as suddenly as he had appeared. Church sighed. It was going to be a long day. And how the heck had Grif pulled that off?!
/*/
Tucker was at the end of his rope and just wanted someone to complain to. So, naturally, when he found Church, he found his outlet. "Church! Save me!" he called up to the cobalt soldier.
"From what?!" Church yelled, irritated with Tucker's yelling.
"Captain Flowers!" Tucker called. Church sighed.
"He going on about 'I just want to know you're alright?'" he asked.
"Yes! And he's been asking me where you are and if you're alright and if I'd like a glass of water or prefer orange juice. It's driving me mad!" Tucker answered, throwing his hands up in frustration. Church sighed. Just another day on Blue Team.
"Ya know, that orange guy on Red Team offered to shoot him for us," he said, real casual. He was curious how Tucker would respond to the threat against their CO.
"No! He can't shoot our Captain!" the other Blue soldier exclaimed, apparently shocked.
"That's what I said," Church remarked dryly. Part of him wondered if the two of them were more alike than he had previously thought.
"Well, what'd he say after that?" Tucker pressed, relaxing slightly and allowing his rifle to hang loosely in his hands
"That was when he went all psycho on me," Church said, causing Tucker to shiver. That orange guy gave him the creeps. Something about him just made the hairs on the back of Tucker's neck stand on end and all the little voices in his head scream run!
"I knew it! I knew he was a psycho killer!" he wailed dramatically. Church shook his head.
"Maybe, but it was... not like that, Tucker. He said, 'Everyone keeps saying that, but whenever he opens his mouth all I hear is 'shoot me shoot me shoot me I want to die shoot me.' It's really quite annoying.' It was... kinda scary, the tone he used. Like that's really what he hears every time Captain Flowers speaks," Church said. Tucker shook his head.
"Dude, that's messed up. Are you sure he's not a psycho killer? And when did you have this conversation?" he asked, worried for his... friend? Co-sufferer? Teammate? Yeah. Teammate. That was the word. Teammate.
"Just before you came screaming about how Captain Flowers was driving you crazy," Church said, all matter of fact. Tucker sighed.
"Again, how do you know he's not a psycho killer?"
"The reassurance that if he pushed me off the cliff it'd be too much work," Church said. Tucker blinked. That... was not enough reason to trust someone. "And the fact that he said he didn't want to kill me. It was just Flowers. Oh, and he said he often wants to pistol whip his Sargent. 'A lot of problems can be solved with a quick pistol whip to the face,' he said," Church recalled. Tucker shook his head.
"Man, the Reds are weird," he said. Church chuckled.
"Yeah, they are. But ya know, I think Grif had something. Everyone needs that annoying friend they can insult and complain to to make life here bearable," he said. Tucker tilted his head slightly. Was Church proposing what he thought he was?
"Are you... offering... to... be my... friend?" Tucker asked, barely daring to hope he might actually have someone other than Captain Flowers to talk to. Church looked to be struggling, but finally, he nodded. Tucker grinned. He had a friend in Blood Gulch. Best. Day. Ever. Of all time.
/*/
Simmons, who had just gotten used to being called Rick by Marley, sighed as he saw Blood Gulch coming into view. He wasn't sure how he felt about going back. In some infinitesimal way, this mission had changed him. Looking at the armor Marley had presented him with, he could tell it was more advanced than his other armor, a little lighter as well. Hopefully, Marley wouldn't ask for it back. "Alright Rick, time for your shore not-quite-leave! And remember, it's a get away from the Agent life style," Marley said, still masking her voice. Rick sighed, but stood in preparation to take his armor back off. "Whoa whoa whoa! What are you doing?" she asked. Already divested of his helmet, Rick gave her a curious look. "The armor is yours. I actually had it made with you in mind. Just put the helmet on and say 'standard mode' and voila! It mimics your old armor! Pretty cool huh?" she asked, bouncing slightly on her toes. Rick just stared at her before running over and carefully hugging her.
"You... are awesome," he whispered. A distinctly feminine chuckle rung in his uncovered ear, causing him to involuntarily tense.
"And you're hugging a girl. I didn't think I'd make it this far with just one mission," Marley's unmasked voice said. Rick froze, then let out a deep breath and slowly let go. He actually had a smile on his face. It was shaky, and it was obvious he was barely holding himself together, but he was smiling at her.
"Don't take this the wrong way, but I kinda forgot you were a girl," he said. Marley chuckled.
"Eh, that's fine. If it helps, I'm not going to take my helmet off around you until you can talk normally to me even without masking my voice," she said. Rick couldn't help but let out a sigh of relief.
"Thanks Marley. If you need an IT guy, you know where to find me," he said. She nodded.
"I sure do... Agent Maroon," she said before punching the door release. "It was good to have you Rick," she said, holding out a hand. Rick felt something that almost felt like pride well up in his chest before he took her hand and gave it a firm shake.
"You look after yourself, alright?" he said. Marly snorted.
"I should tell you the same thing, Dumkopf," she said, though Rick was pretty sure he heard a smile behind those mildly derogatory words. Shaking his head and clicking his helmet into place, Rick muttered,
"Standard mode," as he stepped onto Blood Gulch soil. As his armor shifted to 'standard,' Rick felt himself stepping back into his role in Blood Gulch. It was an odd feeling, but honestly, Simmons couldn't feel too upset about it.
/?/
A/N: Well, there you go. What happened to get Simmons into Project Red.
A/N 2: Edited for coherence and pacing. 8/12/16