Pairing: Remus/Sirius, Word: forgotten, Song: Lover of the Light by Mumford and Sons (inspired the ending), Item: candle, Emotion: grief, Sentence: You chose to break my heart.
Written by Lil'Sis Laura.
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Frank had passed the letter to them on the day of their graduation, with a small smile on his lips and the words, "If you want to be a part of it, open it. No one will blame you if you leave it sealed. Mind, you two are the only ones who can open it. That one, anyway."
The envelope was smooth, creamy white parchment. It bore both of their names in a looping hand.
Two days later, after a whirl of graduating and moving, the letter lies in the middle of the counter, a little bit worse for the wear, but still intact. Mostly. Remus still can't figure out how Sirius managed to get candle wax on it.
Then again, there are an awful lot of things about Sirius that Remus still can't figure out. He's long since learned to just go with it.
Remus sits on a stool at the counter, staring at the letter as though it's going to burst into flames. He hears the thunk of a handle being turned and the tapering off of the shower. Minutes later, Sirius walks into the kitchen wearing nothing but a towel, his long dark hair dripping in his face.
Remus doesn't react, and Sirius knows instantly that something is off. He rounds the counter and stands behind Remus, winding his arms around the werewolf's waist and resting his chin on Remus' shoulder.
"You can't tell me it's actually a decision," he murmurs.
Remus sighs.
"Sirius, I…"
But Sirius's eyebrows have narrowed. "What?" His voice is icy.
Remus twists his head, meeting Sirius' eyes, picking his words very carefully. "Sirius, I only mean to say that… Look, this is not the sort of decision you make lightly!"
"There isn't a decision at all!" Sirius has let him go, has taken a step back.
The thing is, Remus understands. He understands that Sirius has spent his entire life fighting against Pureblood superiority and this is just a tangible representation of that. He understands that Sirius is brave and fierce and will fight for what he believes without concern for his own safety. But he also understands that Sirius is carelessly reckless, understands that Sirius will do stupid things for what he believes in. And he knows that Sirius is an idealist, and he will stop at nothing if he believes in his cause.
Remus is infinitely more prudent, and infinitely more selfish. He likes to weigh risks and benefits; he doesn't like to put a whole lot on the table. And he does not, by any means, subscribe to a utilitarian moral system. Remus places exceptionally more value on the lives of his friends than he does on the lives of strangers. They are his, they are his pack, and Sirius, Sirius is his... everything, is the closest Remus has come to being able to describe it. His Padfoot, his best friend, his boyfriend, his mate.
Remus cannot possibly fathom a situation where the reward would outweigh risking him.
So even though Remus believes that Voldemort must be stopped, even though he would willingly put his own life up for this cause that is worth it... he cannot bear to see Sirius do so.
But Sirius is Sirius: he is fiercely brave and infinitely stubborn. And he will never, ever consent to not fight for this.
Remus sighs again.
He slips off the stool and wraps his arms around Sirius, burying his face in his boyfriend's warm chest. "Promise me you'll be careful," he murmurs softly. "I couldn't bear to see you get hurt."
He feels the tension drain from Sirius's frame as Sirius understands. His arms come up to complete the embrace and he tucks his face in Remus's hair. "I know, Rem. Me, too. And I promise."
They stand intertwined for a long time, until the air has cooled the water on Sirius's skin and he pulls back, tips Remus's chin, and kisses him very deliberately. Then he reaches behind him and plucks the letter off the counter. "May I?"
Remus untwines his arms and takes the letter. He flips it over in his hands a few times, and then, in one smooth motion, he breaks the seal.
The Headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix may be found at 15 Stantonbury Avenue.
Burn this parchment immediately.
Both of them read it, and then Remus sets the parchment alight and lays it on the counter.
Sirius winds his arms back around Remus. "I love you, you know?"
And Remus smiles.
"I know."