Awkward Bonding Moments, Chapter 3: Mike
A/N: A little less awkward, a little more bonding in this chapter.
Disclaimer: I do not own Glee.
"Finn, are you in here?"
"Kurt?"
"That's not Finn. Mike?"
"Yeah."
"I'm hearing you, I'm not seeing you."
"Over here. In the showers."
"Have you seen Finn? I'm supposed to drive him ho- why are you tied to that pipe?"
"Finn left like twenty minutes ago."
"Without telling me, very considerate of him. Now my other question?"
"A prank."
"Puck?"
"And Sam, and Finn, and Blaine, and the rest of the guys."
"Why?"
"I had to cancel on video game night."
"So they tied you to a pipe?"
"And took my clothes."
"Yes, I was getting to that."
"Well thankfully they left me with my underwear at least."
"How very generous of them."
"You know what I mean."
"So they're just going to leave you here overnight?"
"No, they'll probably come back in an hour or so, or tell the cleaning staff that I'm in here."
"This isn't the first time this has happened, is it."
"No, we do this a lot on each other."
"Why?"
"Pranks and whatnot."
"And you wonder why I don't hang out with you guys."
"Well obviously we wouldn't do it to you."
"Why not? Am I not worth it? Am I not one of the boys?"
"No wait, what I meant was, uh but, you just said -! Hang on; you're toying with me aren't you?"
"Aren't you supposed to the smart one?"
"You gonna help me out of this or not?"
"Ha, sure."
"Whoa, you carry a penknife on you?"
"Recent events have forced to be prepared for any occasion."
"Yes I heard."
"Sam told you? He swore he wouldn't."
"Actually I was talking about that night with Puck. What happened with Sam?"
"...Nothing."
"Kurt?"
"Shut up and hold still while I cut the rope."
"He's still a little angry at you, you know."
"Sam?"
"Puck. That foot thing really hurt him."
"Good, he deserved it what he tried to pull."
"Heh, double entendre?"
"You're above those jokes Mike."
"Right, are you nearly done?"
"Almost, this rope is really thick."
"..."
"..."
"Done."
"Great. Now what?"
"Now I drive you home."
"You don't have any clothes I could borrow?"
"None that'll fit you, no. I think Finn left his old gym clothes in the trunk of my car, but they're –"
"Not the cleanest?"
"I was going to say disgustingly unhygienic. But your words work well too. It's fine, my car has blacked out windows, and we'll take the back roads. No one will see."
"Good, and Kurt? Thanks man."
"What was I going to do? Leave you here? I only imagine you would do the same thing in my position. Now come on, let's go."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"I love your car."
"Everyone does."
"How's my baby, by the way?"
"She needs a new crankshaft, stop by the shop in a couple of days, should be ready by then."
"I still find it hard to believe that you know so much about cars, it's just like completely unexpected."
"I'm a man of many talents."
"True. Can I turn up the heat? I'm kind of cold."
"Yes, I can see that."
"Huh? Oh, nipples, right."
"Haha, go ahead."
"You know, I was just thinking, in the nearly three years we've been in Glee, I don't think we've ever spent any time alone together."
"That's not true, what about that time last -, no Blaine was there, well there was that other time when -, no you weren't there. Oh how about that time -? Nope, Tina was there. Wait, I think you're right. Well that's morbid."
"You think it's weird that I've spent a lot more time with your boyfriend who I just met a year ago than with you?"
"I don't think so, I mean you and Blaine have a lot more in common than you and I. Just like I'm closer to Tina."
"Yeah I mean, we're still friends, we care about each other, and like each other, right? And we'll keep in contact after we graduate."
"Yeah, but maybe we could something together soon, just the two of us."
"I'd like that. Does this count?"
"No offense to you and your ridiculously impressive abs..."
"Thanks."
"...But can we do something that involves both of us being fully dressed?"
"Huh?"
"It's just that lately whenever I've been alone with one of the other guys, one of us is usually in little to no clothing."
"What the hell happened with Sam?"
"You really don't want to know."
"Don't I? I saw that video."
"Has everyone seen it!?"
"Pretty much."
"I'm going to kill Blaine."
"Just threaten to withhold sex. It's a really good punishment, Tina does it to me."
"I know. She told me."
"Oh. Just how much does she tell you?"
"Enough. If it helps, I don't let her tell me all the intimate details. I know girls talk, and I may be an 'honorary girl', but I do not want hear about that stuff."
"I can understand that."
"And we're here."
"Thanks again, man."
"No problem."
"So, Breadstix?"
"Excuse me?"
"To hang out. Say tomorrow about 7?"
"Sure, I'll pick you up."
"It's a date."
"..."
"Later Kurt."
"Bye Mike."
A/N: Again, reviews are greatly appreciated (even bad ones). Next up: Artie!