Breaking the Curse
Chapter Three
"Alright, so think about it, Sasuke-chan," Uchiha Kai said, smiling at his cousin. Sasuke was, as usual, looking bored and uninterested. The duo was walking to the training grounds, four hours late. "I'm telling you, it'll be hilarious to see their expressions!"
"I'm not going to smile for them," Sasuke responded, voice dull. "And is it really that surprising a thing if I do?"
"Yes!" Kai insisted, jumping up and down. He was obviously hyped up for the day. "I'm sure Sakura would faint, even!"
The brooding raven shook his head, crossing his arms. "I'm still not going to do it."
The exuberant Uchiha sighed, taking a bite out of some hot bread. Before heading to the training grounds, Kai took a trip to Bina-san's Bakery and bought five baskets of bread. One for each of his teammates and sensei, including himself. It wasn't expensive at all. Being an Uchiha sure paid off.
"I still don't understand why you're eating that," Sasuke mumbled. "First we're late, and now you're eating breakfast? You're breaking two rules right there."
"Nah, I'm sure Kakashi-sensei won't care." Kai waved him off, taking another bite. "I bought him some, too. See?"
Sasuke shook his head again. "You're delusional."
"Raisin cookies that look like chocolate chip cookies are the main reason I have trust issues..."
"Kakashi's not here?" Sasuke asked incredulously. A tick mark appeared on his forehead when he heard Kai muttering "smile~" next to him. Idiot.
"We've been waiting for hours, Sasuke-kun!" Sakura whined, falling on the floor dramatically. In contrast to her actions, she was pissed. Waiting for over four hours made her really want to kill her stupid sensei.
"Really? He's not here?" Kai asked, his voice sounding surprised, but he really wasn't. They couldn't know that, though. The raven widened his eyes, looking around in shock. "Wow! I would have never known! Sasuke-chan and I got here late on accident! Honest!"
Sasuke shook his head again, grinding his teeth. Just shut your damn mouth...
"Anyway," he continued, holding up the baskets, seemingly forgetting all about his sensei's tardiness. "Who wants breakfast?"
"ME!" Naruto exclaimed, grabbing for a basket. Screw the rules. If Kakashi was late, then he could eat - damn it. "Thanks a lot, Kai!"
"It's no problem at all for my awesome teammates." He smiled gently, looking at Sakura. "I bought you a basket, too, Sakura-chan."
Sakura-chan?! The girl was instantly on cloud nine, a nosebleed on the verge of happening. Oh my God! He called me Sakura-chan! What does this mean?! Does this mean he likes me?! He likes me, doesn't he?! He DOES!
As the girl was unknowingly having slight convulsions on the ground, Kai turned around and snickered to himself. She was just so easy!
Uzumaki Naruto continued to scarf down food, Haruno Sakura continued her spasms, and Uchiha Kai kept on snickering silently. Sasuke stared at his team and twitched, another tick mark on his forehead. He wasn't very pleased. Adding to the fact that his sensei was hours late - just like yesterday - he was actually pissed.
Idiots, he thought, shaking his head. They're all a bunch of morons!
"Sasuke-chan~! Do ya want yer basket~?"
"DON'T CALL ME THAT, AND NO!"
Complete and utter morons.
"Kakashi's true face isn't really a mystery. Just look it up on Google Images. Duh- Oh, wait."
"Hi fellows. Good morning."
"YOU'RE LATE!" Naruto and Sakura both screamed in fury. Sasuke simply deadpanned, holding in his anger, while Kai was twitching. He knew Kakashi was keen on being late, but he actually wanted to know how it felt waiting for him and how late the man really was.
Never in his wildest dreams did he think the Jōnin would be six hours late. And now he felt ridiculously stupid that he wanted to wait for Kakashi. Never again, Kai thought, still twitching. I can't wait for him like this again.
Kakashi chuckled sheepishly, pointing over yonder somewhere. "Yeah, well... A black cat crossed my path, so..."
The four Genin weren't satisfied. It was painfully obvious that he was lying. Kai scoffed. "I even bought you some bread. Never again." And just like that, the brown basket was tossed in the air and somewhere in the woods.
Kakashi sweatdropped. "Let's move on..." The sensei walked over to one of the three logs in the middle of the training grounds and placed a small clock on it. His students just watched, irritation slowly being forgotten. "Alarm set for twelve PM," he announced.
Kakashi then went in his back holster and took out a pair of silver bells, slightly shaking them. By now, the Genin were all curious. Well, except Kai. He was just excited.
"Today's topic is to get one of these bells from me," Kakashi explained. Ah, how he missed the days he would do this with his team. Now they were dead, sensei and all. "Whoever can't will have no lunch," he continued.
Naruto practically screeched in surprise. What?!
"I'm going to tie you there-" Kakashi pointed to the three logs. "-and eat lunch in front of you."
Kai grinned. "Sadistic or nah?" Kakashi blinked. What? "It doesn't matter anyway. Naruto-kun, Sakura, and I already-"
"W-We did nothing, sensei!" Sakura interrupted, screaming over Kai. Was the boy trying to get them in trouble?
Sasuke, however, looked a bit sick. He still hadn't eaten breakfast - since Kakashi specifically said not to eat it and he didn't just go around breaking rules willy-nilly - and waiting for the Jōnin just made him hungrier.
"But, wait a second... Why are there only two bells?" Sakura then asked curiously. Did he mistakenly misplace the other two?
The Jōnin smiled. "Since there's only two, at least two of you will have to be tied to the log. Those two people will fail since they failed to complete the mission. They'll be the ones to go back to the academy." Giggling sadistically, he wiggled the bells again.
The Genin's faces all turned deathly serious. Well, except Kai, who was practically bouncing in excitement. Did the kid not understand? Kakashi thought, puzzled.
"It might just be two, or all four of you on the logs. Well, not all four, since there's only three logs - but you get the picture, right?" Kakashi blinked again. He would fail them if he had to. He would fail them if he had to. He wouldn't let his emotions get in the way of his decision. "You can use your shuriken. You won't be able to get these unless you have the will to kill me."
"But that's too dangerous, sensei!" Sakura shouted. What if they accidentally killed him?!
Naruto nodded in agreement, grinning. "Y-Yeah! Yeah! You couldn't even dodge that chalk eraser!" Kai had to stifle his laughter.
"In society," Kakashi droned, dismissing their fears. "Those who don't have many abilities tend to complain more. Just ignore the guy with the lowest score."
Naruto's eyes widened while Kai burst out laughing.
"Daaaamn! You just got turned down, Naruto-kun! Ahahahaha!"
"We're going to start after I say ready, start," Kakashi explained, talking over Kai's laughter. Naruto wasn't listening, though; he was pissed. How dare the late ass talk about him like that?!
Before Naruto even knew what he was doing himself, the blond flipped out a kunai and charged at the Jōnin. Sakura and Sasuke gasped while Kai yelled out, "Don't do it, Naruto-kun! He ain't worth it! He ain't worth it!" The boy paid the other no mind as he kept running towards-
Without breaking a sweat, Kakashi grabbed Naruto by the wrist and spinned him around so that Naruto's own kunai was an inch away from stabbing himself in the back of his head. Naruto blinked. Sakura blinked. Sasuke blinked. Kai blinked.
"Don't get so hasty," the sensei said. "I didn't say start yet." Unknowingly, both Sakura and Sasuke took a step back just as Kakashi let Naruto go.
No way, Sakura thought, shocked. I couldn't see him at all.
Sasuke's eyes narrowed. So this is a Jōnin...
The exuberant Uchiha turned to Naruto, who looked stunned. "First he put you on hush-mouth," Kai mumbled, smile twitching on his face. "Then he almost killed you. Be careful, Naruto-kun. Next he'll make you his bi-"
"But," Kakashi interrupted, giving the Uchiha a tired look. That kid was getting annoying. "It looks like you have the will to kill me now." He chuckled. Maybe he could start liking them? If they passed... And he would test them fairly.
He would.
Kakashi's tone got serious. "We're going to start."
The four Genin tensed, a look of determination on Sakura and Sasuke's face, a smirk on Naruto's, and a goofy grin on Kai's. Seriously...
"Ready... Start!"
They each jumped away.
"You know when you start feeling pains in your chest, and you just, like, stop everything for a whole ten seconds, waiting to have a heart attack?"
A basic technique for a ninja is to conceal their presence and hide, Kakashi recited, calmly looking around. His four students were all hiding somewhere around him. They were good, but not that good. The Jōnin easily spotted them all: Sasuke hiding in a tree, Sakura in a bush, Kai standing stiffly beside one of the three logs, Naruto- Wait, what the heck?!
Kai had his eyes shut closed, hands by his side and fists clenched. Sweat rolled down his face. He looked as stiff as a board. Was he trying to hide behind the log? Or was he trying to - please don't be - impersonate the log?
Kakashi simply tilted his head, deadpanning. He didn't even notice Naruto standing a few feet away, who was also staring at the Uchiha curiously. Sakura gaped while Sasuke twitched. Idiot.
There was a few seconds of silence...before Kai began mumbling to himself. "Log Transformation Technique, complete..."
"IT'S NOT!" Sasuke yelled, irritated. He was going to fail if he didn't take this seriously! What was he thinking?!
Abruptly, the raven sneezed. He sniffed, rubbed his nose, and then blinked. Suddenly, he looked very pale. What was going on?
"Oh, no," he muttered, looking at Kakashi fearfully. "My sneeze made the technique abruptly cancel!"
"IT WASN'T WORKING TO BEGIN WITH!"
"D-Does sensei see me, or..?"
"STOP BEING AN IDIOT!"
Kai suddenly jumped into action and sprinted far into the forest, leaving a bewildered Jōnin, a confused blond, a ticked off Uchiha, and a surprised pinkette. They all sweatdropped.
"A-Anyway..." Naruto turned to Kakashi, fists clenched and face back in it's determined way. "LET'S HAVE A MATCH FAIR AND SQUARE!"
A heartbeat of silence.
Sasuke clenched his teeth. I'm surrounded by idiots.
"Um..." Kakashi was at a loss for words. These characters were getting erratic. "Hey, aren't you and that Uchiha boy a little weird compared to the rest?"
"What's weird is your hairstyle!" Naruto shot back before rushing the Jōnin. Kakashi waited until Naruto was close enough before going into his back weapons holster, testing the boy's reflexes. Just as he should have, Naruto stopped and hopped back, suspecting his sensei to throw a weapon.
Maybe this kid does have some sense, Kakashi thought, before starting to talk. "Ninja tactic know-how number one: Taijutsu. I'll teach you that first."
Naruto was confused. Taijutsu was fighting hand to hand, so why was he taking out a weapon? He glared. Whatever his stupid sensei was going to do, he'd be ready!
As quick as possible, Kakashi slid out a pink book with a man and a woman running together. Squinting, Naruto read the name. Flirting Paradise. What the hell..?
"What's the matter?" The Jōnin said, book open to a random page. "Come and get me."
"But, um...um... Why did you take out that book?"
"Why..? I got curious as to how the story will develop," he answered. "Don't worry about it. It's the same whether I read this or not."
Naruto snapped. That man had ridiculed him for the last time! With a threatening battle cry, Naruto rushed Kakashi once again. "I'M GOING TO POUND YOU!"
The blond punched at Kakashi's throat, but the Jōnin simply caught Naruto's fist. Sucking his teeth, Naruto bent down and tried a roundhouse kick to Kakashi's head, but the Jōnin simply bent down. Now fully pissed, Naruto threw caution out the window and punched blindly at the man.
He missed.
Kakashi was nowhere to be seen.
Naruto blinked. "Huh?"
Unbeknownst to the hyper boy, his sensei was right behind him, fingers poised as if he was charging up for a technique.
"A ninja should not let the enemy get behind him multiple times, idiot," Kakashi mumbled.
Both Sakura and Sasuke recognized that seal. Kakashi was going to kill Naruto if he did that! They were both too far to do anything, so what were they supposed to do?!
Sakura did what she knew best: screaming. "Naruto, run! You're going to die!"
The blond was confused. "Huh?"
"You're too late," Kakashi said, eyes flashing dangerously. Naruto turned his head...but it was too late. "A Thousand Years of Pain!" He jabbed his fingers in Naruto's butt.
Click!
Naruto felt like he was going to die. He's shoving his fingers up my butt! But nobody cared about that at the moment. Didn't they just hear, like, a shutter sound? Everyone turned to the left to see...Kai with a camera in his hand, grinning widely.
He put the camera down. Now smirking. "Gotcha~."
Kakashi, realizing his fingers were still inside the boy, sent a burst of chakra through the tips and pushed harder. Naruto screamed, flying far up in the sky and then plunging into the lake. Kai was literally dying, rolling around on the ground and laughing his ass off, all while waving the picture around in his hands. Sasuke and Sakura felt depleted. Things were just... Things just weren't going as they thought it would.
"Man, I wonder how the village would take this," Kai mused, now calmed down. Kakashi stared. "I can see the headlines already: Sensei of both Uchiha boys is a major pervert/pedophile. Tsk. Tsk. Tsk."
Kakashi kept staring. "It's a technique."
"Shoving your fingers up his ass? Sure." Kai yawned, feigning boredom. "Listen, I know you don't want this getting out to the public, right? Then do us all a favor and pass us and I just might accidentally drop it in a fire. You choose, Kakashi-sensei."
Sasuke facepalmed. This guy didn't even sound like Kai anymore. He sounded more mature, so much sure of himself. Still, the guy was a complete idiot for doing something like this. Sakura, on the other hand, had hearts in her eyes. Kai-kun really is cool!
Before Kakashi could respond, shuriken shot out of the lake straight at him. Not even looking at them, Kakashi brought his finger up and caught them both, finger straight through the hole in the middle. Naruto came out seconds later, drenched from head to toe and thoroughly exhausted.
"What's wrong?" Kakashi turned away from Kai momentarily. "You won't get any lunch if you don't get a bell by noon."
"I already know!" He whined.
"You said you're going to exceed the Hokages, but your actions say otherwise."
Naruto growled. "Damn it! Damn it! I can still fight! Don't count me out just yet!"
Kakashi simply sighed before turning back to Kai, who was watching the scene in amusement. Seeing the scenes that happened in the anime in real life was making him ecstatic. Even though nothing really happened that directly involved him yet, he was having so much fun.
The Jōnin began walking towards Kai, making him tense up just slightly. "I'll deal with you now," he said.
"Damn it..! Damn it..!" Naruto dug his fingernails into the ground, cursing under his breath. Why was that stupid man ignoring him?! It wasn't fair! Why did no one ever take him seriously?! "I have to prove them wrong," he decided, trembling. "I can't... I can't fail at a place like this! I'm going to be a ninja!"
As soon as the words left his mouth, seven shadow replications jumped out of the lake, all of them focused on one thing: pummeling Hatake Kakashi to the ground.
"Heh-Hah! Security is your greatest weapon!" One of the clones - maybe the real one? - exclaimed. "This is my best technique: The Shadow Replication Technique!"
Sakura blinked. There's seven Naruto's..? What? They're not afterimages. They're real?! She watched carefully as they all charged at Kakashi, who seemed to forget all about Kai for that moment. That one moment was enough. As soon as the Jōnin turned his back, Kai rushed back into the woods, laughing all the while.
"Thanks for the distraction, Naruto-kun!"
Kakashi didn't care. He was busy staring at all of the Naruto's running at him. "Shadow Replications instead of just Replications?" His eyes narrowed. It must be the forbidden technique he used to beat Mizuki. Assuming from his abilities, he can only use that for a minute. Even if he talks big, Naruto is still Naruto. He can't get me with that technique-
Abruptly, he felt someone wrapping their arms and legs around his body. Eyes widening, he turned his head and saw Naruto holding him, a victorious smirk on his face.
The blond chuckled. "A ninja shouldn't let their enemy get behind them, right, Kakashi-sensei?" By now, all of the clones except one were grabbing all over the man's body, making sure he wouldn't be moving. "I used the Shadow Replication, let one sneak out from the lower part of the window, and made it sneak behind you!" The one that wasn't holding Kakashi down was now rushing towards him, fist pulled back. "I'm going to pay you back for that attack on my butt!"
Naruto's pretty good, Sakura thought, pretty amazed that the dead last of the academy was doing something like that.
Sasuke smirked. He, too, was surprised by Naruto's sudden development. A feint operation, eh?
"I'm going to punch you!" Naruto announced. And punch he did.
Only, it wasn't Kakashi.
The blond blinked. "Huh?" Kakashi was nowhere to be seen. Instead of the silver haired man, one of his replications was hit instead. He fell to the ground, a big bruise on his cheek.
"OWCH!" He screamed.
Naruto stared at his fallen replication. "You..." He was confused. He hit Kakashi, didn't he? He was supposed to. So... Why was..?
Then it hit him.
"YOU MUST BE KAKASHI-SENSEI! YOU TRANSFORMED, DIDN'T YOU?!"
And chaos ensued. All of the Naruto's began attacking each other, assuming that they were each Kakashi. Punch sounds rang out. Insults rang out.
"You are!"
"You must be!"
"You smell like Kakashi-sensei!"
"It's the smell of an old man!"
"You old man!"
"You old man!"
All the Naruto's were killing each other until one of them thought of something. Something smart.
"Hey, why don't we undo the replication? Then two will remain, and we'll know who is who."
"Why didn't you notice that earlier, idiot?"
"You're me, idiot!"
"I'm going to undo it now."
"Okay."
In a puff of smoke, all of the Naruto's were gone. Except one. The real one. He stood in the clearing alone, face beat up and bruised horribly. Kakashi still wasn't there. He was nowhere to be seen...
Sakura just stared, deadpanning. Naruto...looks so uncool.
Sasuke stuck his nose up. There was the Naruto he knew and hated. That was the Replacement Technique, idiot. It's a technique where one uses an object or an animal to quickly change places with it and make the enemy think you were hit. Then you are able to attack the enemy's unguarded point. In this case, the Jōnin got caught by Naruto on purpose and quickly changed places with one of the replications of Naruto. Not only did he give the impression that he was hit...but he used Naruto's attack to his advantage.
The blond stared at the ground for a bit, whining to himself. That was so unfair. All of it was just so unfair! He tried his hardest, yet he couldn't get one of those bells. He couldn't even get one hit in! In the end, he ended up beating himself up. So uncool...and so unfair...
In the corner of his eyes, something flashed. Something shiny. Curious, he turned to look at the shiny object...and realized that it was one of the bells! Kakashi dropped a bell!
He giggled goofily, face the perfect mix of mischievous and smug. "He must've been in a hurry if he dropped a bell~! Dropped a bell~!" Naruto rushed over and bent down to pick it up...but as soon as his fingers were inches away, a rope came from the ground and wrapped around his legs, pulling him up upside down. "WHAA?! What's this?!" He wiggled around, trying desperately to get out of the rope.
Sasuke shook his head. It was a trap...
Naruto continued struggling. "Hey! Hey, hey! Hey!"
That Jōnin showed no unguarded point even when he was fighting with Naruto, Sasuke thought, face stoic. He was planning on attacking when Kakashi was unguarded, but the man seemed to always be guarded!
"THE BELL!" Naruto screamed, in tears. He tried so, so hard to reach them, but they were just too far! Why?! Why?! Why?!
Kakashi leisurely jumped down from the tree that Naruto was connected to and picked up the bell. Naruto's heart dropped.
"Use your techniques after thinking carefully," Kakashi began to lecture in a loud voice. "That's why it was used to your disadvantage. And..." He smiled. A plastic smile. "Don't fall for such an obvious trap. Stu~pid."
The blond was pissed yet again. He screamed and shouted in fury, but Kakashi wasn't listening. Not in the slightest.
"Ninja need to think beyond the normal."
"I KNOW! I ALREADY KNOW!"
"Um, hey, I'm telling you this because you don't know, got it?" The Jōnin was really enjoying this. He really was. And Naruto was still yelling out profanities and the like. "Your movements are filled with unnecessary motions."
Sasuke's eyes widened. There! Right there, his guard was down! His guard was down! He finally dropped his guard! Sasuke took out and threw both kunai and shuriken at Kakashi. They were going to hit! They had to hit!
Kakashi didn't notice the weapons flying at him from behind. He was still lecturing Naruto. "You're so-"
"KAKASHI-SENSEI, WATCH OUT!"
In a flash, Kai seemingly came out of nowhere and jumped at Kakashi, pushing him aside and horrifyingly taking the hit, all the weapons stabbing into and through his skin. Naruto gaped, Sasuke blinked, and Sakura looked completely horrified.
There was silence as Kai fell to the ground, mangled. And then there was the bloodcurdling scream.
"GYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!"
End of Chapter Three
Author's Notes: I'm so confused. Two weeks of school left, and I have three projects. Do all the teachers just get satisfaction in our misery? I don't know what's wrong with them, but it's pissing me off. Shouldn't we be watching movies and doing random fun activities now? Like, seriously...
So, if you're wondering why updates aren't as frequent as usual, blame school. And then my brother and I are usually up all night looking at anime on the weekends now, so even that time is sorta filled.
But don't worry, just wait until Summer Break. ^_^
BTW, sorry if this chapter is kinda boring. Next chapter will be better. Promise! :D And Kai's last scream was basically the same scream as Orochimaru's in Rock Lee and His Ninja Pal's last episode. That scream always makes me laugh. ^_^||
Reviewing the Reviewers
MythologyGirl: Aww! You're making me blush (doesn't mean you should stop, though)! I'm so glad you like Kai, and I thank you for the review! ^_^
Madame Mayhem: Ehehehehe! Thanks! Kai's just a fan favorite! Yet, he has no tact. =.= Anyway, thanks for reviewing, and I hope you like this chapter, too!
RibbonCrux149: Hehehe... All will be revealed soon enough, Ribbon-san. All will be revealed... *slides into darkness* ow. I hit the wall. Why is it so dark over here?
DarkLord98: What? Crazy? Kai? Uchiha Kai? Nonsense! /shot
PCheshire: Thanks! And no, this won't have yaoi. And... Sorry, but those two techniques aren't... Well, Kai won't have those two techniques. :'( Sorry...
WraithHeart: Yes, the almighty Tea-sama. :O A-Are you a Tea-ist, too? /shot. A-Anyway... Thanks for liking Kai, and thanks for reviewing! (Y-Yes! I'll update! I'll update until completion! Hopefully...)
WindWhistle21: Heh. As an Uchiha, it's obvious that Kai would use that saying and make you like it while also making you review. Duh~! Ah, and thanks! ^_^ I try...
DaOneInDaCorner: Aha! If I was an Uchiha, I'd abuse that status until the very end. You and Kai are more alike than you think, Corner-kun! *peeps through your window and scribbles down notes*
Fandoulli: Thank you! Here, have a virtual cookie! Be careful, though. One wrong bite and you'll get shocked to oblivion. ^_^
anima: Thank you, Anima-san! I try to make Kai as cool as possible (but also realistic because we don't want a Gary Stu here). I actually really don't know why ninja don't do that more often. They should use their good looks to the fullest! And y'know, that pairing is looking more attractive in my eyes. I'll have a poll to see...maybe... Anyway, thanks for reviewing! :-D
Everyone, I hope you all liked this chapter, and I hope you all continue to review and make me smile! Bye-bii~!