Star Trek: Madagascar
by Galaxy1001D
The Penguins of Madagascar television series and the movies Madagascar and Madagascar 2: Escape to Africa are the properties of Nickelodeon and Dreamworks Animation, Viacom, CBS and a bunch of other guys. Star Trek is owned by Paramount, who is also owned by CBS. This story has been written for the purpose of entertainment only. No attempt has been made to use this document for profit.
Chapter Three: Meet Da King
"Skipper's Log, Stardate 2009.3. Due to a snafu on the officers' part, the team has been beamed down to the wrong coordinates. Instead of the seek-and-destroy mission on a distant outpost that we've been training for, we've somehow replaced the diplomatic team that was supposed to usher Lemuria into the Federation," Skipper put his tricorder away and looked at the rest of his team. "Well, gents it's now or never."
The royal palace appeared to be a giant treehouse, built upon giant trees. Various structures in the leafy foliage appeared to be giant pineapples from the outside. Almost a hundred meters above the jungle floor, walkways, ladders, ropes, and entire buildings composed of the Lemur city.
The Lemurs themselves were something to see. They were furry primates that seemed equally at home as bipeds or quadrupeds. Their furry faces were quite expressive, tending to exaggerate their expressions. Most disconcerting were their eyes. The whites of their eyes were not white, but were bright colors including red, orange, yellow, and blue. The irises were black. The Lemurs dressed simply in kilts made of cloth or leaves, decorated with jewelry made of polished wood.
The Lemurs were a social species, and did not seem to understand the concept of personal space. They crowded around the newcomers, and patted, poked and prodded them as they escorted them to an audience with their king.
In the throne room, a short portly lemur that resembled a koala made an announcement. "Presenting his royal majesty, King Julian the Thirteenth, Lord of Lemuria, Protector of the Primates, and Regent of the Ringtails!"
Behind him, what appeared to be two giant peacock tails folded open to reveal a gray slender ringtailed Lemur on his throne. He wore a green leafy crown and had yellow eyes, a pointy snout, and pointy ears. "Hello my royal subjects!" he greeted. "King Julian in da house mon! Let the celebration begin!" He burst into song. "I like to move it move it! I like to move it move it!…"
The music ended when the Penguins and Marlene entered the throne room.
"What are they?" squeaked a tiny golden Lemur. "What are they?"
"They are aliens!" King Julian decided. "Savage aliens from the savage future. They have come back in time to steal our women!"
"What?" Marlene exclaimed as the Penguins put their flippers to their heads and shook their heads in disgust. "Oh no! They're not after your women! I'm a woman myself! See? We are friendly aliens! Friends!"
"That creature with the strange eyes looks familiar to me, Maurice," the king mused as he squinted at Marlene. "Where have I been seeing her before?"
"That's Marlene Nova, the liaison with the United Federation of Planets," the portly advisor replied in his deep rumble.
"Oh yes, that's her," Julian nodded, "but what are those ugly birds that she has brought in with her? They are even fatter that you Maurice!"
"I'm big boned," Maurice growled.
"Have you ever been seeing such ridiculous freaks of nature?" Julian gestured at the marines. "Look at how small and puny their wings are compared to their corpulent and obese bodies! How could such ridiculous creatures fly with wings like those?"
"We don't fly, we swim, you stupid primate!" Skipper said without thinking.
As one all of the Lemurs gasped.
"Skipper, I don't think that you're winning hearts and minds," Kowalski said quietly out of the side of his beak.
"Did you hear that, Maurice?" Julian smiled and jumped up and down in his excitement. "They talked! Have you ever been seeing a talking bird before? That is amazing! Marlene! How did you do it? I did not be seeing your lips move! That is the incredible! You could go on top of the road!" His voice was softer as he asked her sweetly, "Could you do that again but this time, drinking a glass of water?"
"Uh," the Otter stammered. That was clearly not the response Marlene had been expecting.
"We aren't animals, lower mammal, we're people!" Skipper declared indignantly. "We're an intelligent species! We're a member race of the United Federation of Planets!"
"Oh really, flightless bird?" Julian smiled lazily from his wooden throne. "Then why are you naked?"
"We aren't naked," the private said meekly as he pulled on his collar to reveal the skintight outfit he was wearing. "These are body suits."
"What is with the weird style?" Julian asked. "What is it for?"
"They're battle dress uniforms…" the private explained before Skipper cut him off.
"They're tuxedoes!" he interrupted. "Formal wear in a style that originated on Earth! Rico, bowties!"
Rico gagged, and spit up four black bowties. As one the Penguins picked them up and tied them around their necks. They did it so fast one could hear the air squishing.
"Oh I see," Julian nodded.
"I don't know," Maurice said as his yellow eyes narrowed suspiciously. "Something's wrong. I don't know about these guys."
"Shame on you, Maurice!" Julian scolded. "Can not you see that you are insulting the freaks?" He turned his attention back to the birds. "You must tell me: Who the heck are you?"
"Sergeant Thomas Skipper, United Federation Marine Corps," Skipper saluted, and the rest of the Penguins did likewise.
"Ooh!" Julian shivered. "Did you hear that, Maurice? It sounded like a whip cracking! When they saluted it sounded like a whip cracking! What else can they do? Throw them some balls! Maybe they can juggle!"
"Uh, yeah," Skipper was taken aback by the reaction.
"Salute us again!" Julian shouted.
"No," Skipper's eyes became narrow slits.
"I will salute you first and then you can salute me back!" Julian declared. He saluted them with a flourish.
Driven by discipline and training, the Penguins returned the salute. There was the swishing of air and the crack of a whip.
"Again!" Julian jumped up and down. "They did it again Maurice! That is amazing! These freaks are so amusing! Let's light a ring on fire and see if they jump through it!"
"You don't understand, Ringtail," Skipper said as he attempted to get the king's attention. "We're here to welcome you into the United Federation of Planets."
"You are?" Julian seemed skeptical. "How do I know that you aren't imposters? Where are you from?"
"Manhattan," Skipper told him. "Uh, I mean, Earth."
"I've seen people who come from Earth," Julian told him. "They are hairless apes and not flightless portly birds."
"My parents came from Pengu," Skipper explained, "but I was born in New York. Earth is where I grew up."
"The Federation is one great melting pot," the private added.
"Well I hope you don't get eaten after you are melted in that pot," Julian retorted. "Tell me flightless birds, why should my planet be interested in your United Federation of Planets? What is in it for us?"
"The Federation provides many benefits," Skipper explained. "Free trade, protection from enemies…"
"…And a free exchange of ideas, scientific breakthroughs, and cultural paradigms," Kowalski added.
"Why would a cult give me a pair of dimes?" the king scratched his head. "No offense, but twenty cents doesn't give you a lot on this planet."
"Think of the amazing medical breakthroughs we've made in the last fifty years!" Skipper exclaimed. "Your people could enjoy a long and healthy lifestyle at that was unknown to their parents!"
"And the Federation has a great dental plan," the private added as he blinked innocently.
Julian, Maurice and a number of other Lemurs stared skeptically at the private who was, to be honest, an intelligent bird without a tooth in his head.
"So I've heard," the private added sheepishly.
"We do not need your medical breakings," Julian informed them. "Our planet is the healthiest in the known universe. We have an herb that cures cancer, a fruit that mends broken bones, and a flytrap that we have trained to do organ transplants."
"Heck the average life expectancy around here is two hundred and fifty," Maurice added. "It would probably be three hundred if people would cut down on bungee jumping."
"Okay, you don't need our medical technology," Skipper conceded, "but we can show you how to have a more egalitarian society. A society with no rich and no poor, where everybody reaps the benefits of a world without scarcity, how about that?"
"We've already got that silly fat and flightless bird," Julian laughed condescendingly. "Here on Lemuria everyone is equal to everybody else. Except for me, who is king. I'm more equal than the rest of us, but that's only because they forced me. I was born with this king thing and I can't get out of it, and I've tried. But being king isn't so bad; I get to see freaks like you! Pretty neat eh?"
"We're not freaks, we're Penguins!" Skipper scowled before he rubbed his forehead in pain. "Okay, forget about our culture for a minute. We can offer you technology that can do things that you couldn't dream of! We can make your lives easier in ways you couldn't imagine!"
"Actually our lives are already pretty easy," Julian shrugged losing interest. "If you made things any easier we all might get fat and out of shape like you. Take a look at Maurice, here. Life is a little too easy for him as you can see. If you made us a machine that could climb trees for us we might forget how. Do you see what I be meaning?"
"For the last time, I'm big boned," Maurice growled.
"Come on, work with me here!" Skipper growled. "Your warp program can barely get to light speed! Don't you and your people want to see the stars and visit distant worlds?"
"Warp program?" Maurice scratched his head. "What are you talking about?"
"I think he is talking about those two mad scientists who launched themselves into space," Julian shrugged. "They talked about warp driving but I just assumed that they let the damp air into their carpentry."
"Look we have technology that can accomplish miracles!" Skipper insisted. "For example, what about our universal translator? Without that, we wouldn't be able to talk to each other!"
"Yes we would," Julian smiled. He reached into Maurice's rather large ear and pulled out what appeared to be a goldfish. "Dis fish here feeds on telepathic tings like. It takes your words and den poops out da words in our speaking tings. We can understand anybody in da world even if dey are like mumbling like real bad." He tossed the fish over to Kowalski who caught it and examined it with a jeweler's lens.
"Remarkable!" the brainy Penguin gasped. "I always thought that the Babel Fish was a myth! It appears that this creature feeds off the thoughts of the person speaking and excretes a translated version for the being whose ear it's in! Fantastic! Total, harmless, nontechnological translation!"
Rico took the goldfish out of Kowalski's flippers and swallowed it.
"And apparently it tastes good with butter," Kowalski added.
"The king's must be sick," Skipper blocked his beak with his flipper as he muttered to the taller bird.
Meanwhile, thousands of light-years away, the officers of the Madagascar prepared to rescue their wayward personnel.
"Okay, Commander, we're now in standard orbit," the zebra said from the helm station.
"Thanks Marty," the lion nodded. "Melman, how are those repairs going?"
In a narrow tube filled with conduit, the giraffe had extended his neck to get at the fried circuits. "Everything's okay here, Alex," Melman said as hand tools levitated around him. "I just love the telekinesis I have in this story! Hands-free is the only way to go!"
"Okay, when you're done, meet us in the transporter room," Alex nodded on the bridge. "Gloria, are we still hearing from the landing party?"
"Yeah Alex," the hippo replied from the communications console, "but they just lost two more crewmembers. They went missing. One minute they were there, and the next minute they were gone!"
"Okay, lets get the ready room outside the transporter room," the lion nodded. "It sounds like they don't have very much time left!"
Soon the lion, the zebra, the hippo and the giraffe were in a room with chairs, a table and a wall full of lockers.
"Okay, let's pass out the equipment," Alex said as he opened a locker. "Everybody gets a tricorder, a phaser pistol, and a communicator."
As Alex tossed them to the rest of his team, Melman used his telekinesis to make his communicator levitate right in front or his face. "Are you sure these things are futuristic enough Alex? I've seen cell phones that look more high-tech than this!"
"Marty, quit dropping yours," Gloria scolded.
"It's not my fault," the zebra insisted as he got on all fours to recover his equipment. "I don't have opposable thumbs! I can't get a hold of them like you can."
"Say what?" the hippo put her hand on her round and expansive hips. "How do you fly the ship then?"
"I just use my hooves to press the buttons," Marty shrugged. "It's not like I gotta have thumbs to fly a starship."
"This is ridiculous," Alex shook his head in disbelief. "You're not a zebra in this story, you're an alien that looks like a zebra. If you could join Starfleet, you must have a way to pick things up! Maybe your people have suction cups on the bottom of your hooves or something."
"Oh yeah, look at that," the zebra smiled as he picked up his phaser. "Thanks Alex!"
Gloria rolled her eyes.
"Okay, one more thing to consider," Melman said. "I don't want to beam down until I change my uniform."
"What's wrong with your uniform?" Alex asked as Marty hung his gear on his belt.
"It's red for one thing!" the giraffe said indignantly. "I don't even watch Star Trek but even I know that the guy wearing the red shirt always dies!"
"No he doesn't," Gloria insisted. "That's just the extras."
"Even so, I'm not beaming down until I change my uniform," Melman insisted stubbornly.
"You're our engineer," Marty pointed out. "In the original series they wore red."
"So what?" Melman said timidly. "I can transfer to sciences. I could be a paleontologist. I sound like a paleontologist. If I could play an engineer I could be a paleontologist with a PhD and everything!"
"Hey wait minute!" Gloria said as she looked down at her skirt. "I'm wearing red too!"
"I thought you said that only extras get killed on a mission," Alex murmured.
"That was before I realized that I was wearing red too!" Gloria huffed. "Melman might be right. Better safe that sorry!"
"So what are you going to be?" Marty quipped. "Gonna get a PhD in physics or somthin'?"
"No I'm gonna transfer to medical 'cause you'd be surprised how fast I can put you in the hospital!" the hippo growled as she shook her fist.
"Okay, go change," Alex sighed as he leaned back against the table. "We'll wait, but at this rate there won't be anyone left to rescue."
Next: Four to Beam Down