Note: I made up the town. ) Thank you for the reviews! I hope you enjoy this installment!

After they destroyed the Djin and they knew for sure that the girl was going to be all right, Dean made them book it out of there. Sam had looked for a hunt while they were on the road and managed to find one in a backwoods area of Montana. The whole ride to the town of Pokan Dean had been quiet. He hadn't turned on is blaring rock music or made fun of Sam while he slept, which is what he did most often since Sam's return to the hunting fold. Sam often slept in weird positions, and nine times out of ten he had his mouth open, and God forbid he was sick, because then he would snore so loud that it sounded like they had a snorting bull in the car with them.

Dean usually made comments about their sleeping brother that weren't flattering or even nice in some respects, but he liked to hear Hannah laugh even if he did run the risk of Sam hearing, because in Dean's opinion she did far too little of it. Dean even went so far as to make fun of himself if it made Hannah laugh on long car rides. However, this car ride was completely and utterly silent. Even the normally loud Impala was quieter. It seemed to sense that its owner was tired and depressed. Depressed. That was a word that Dean had never associated with himself. Angry, yes, short tempered, yes, kind, yes but never ever had he put the adjective depressed in front of his name before. But right at this moment that was exactly what he was. And he would give anything to shake this particular adjective from his name, but currently it seemed to have been affixed with some killer super glue. Not only did he want to get back to normal because he was tired of this empty space in his stomach and the cold that his coat or long johns couldn't fix, but if Sammy asked him one more time if he was doing all right, he had changed his phrasing from 'are you okay' when Dean had threatened him way back in the fall after their father died, he was seriously going to start hitting the younger man until he lost all of his teeth.

Sammy also wanted Dean to tell him EVERYTHING about his dream life, and Dean was starting to wonder if Sam just wanted to know because Sam had a better life in that particular scenario. Sam seemed to forget that Dean didn't like to share. It was difficult to tell your brother that you were a looser. Hannah, he was thankful, never said much of anything. So it wasn't surprising that she didn't say anything about this either.

They had been in Pokan for several days and Dean and Sam had split up. Sam was at the library researching the monster of the week and Dean was out speaking with the townspeople to get a better understanding of what had been going on. It was almost dusk when he pulled his car into the parking lot of the motel, and he unlocked the door and found his sister standing in front of his bag putting folded clothes into it. She smiled at him and he smiled back, it always made him just a tad uncomfortable that his sister did his laundry and folded it neatly and returned it to his bag. And as usual, he found the baggie, with his name on it, which contained everything from his pockets on the table beside the door.

He took off his leather jacket and laid it on the chair and sat down and pried his boots off.

"Sammy should be back soon and we'll go get dinner," he said off handedly. She nodded and continued to put clothes back. Hannah methodically put things away as he watched her he and noted that she licked her lips, a sure sign that she was going to actually speak, and he wondered what on earth was so important that she felt the need to speak.

"I'm not going to ask if you are all right. I am going to demand that you tell me what happened."

Dean laughed at his little sister's choice of words. "You are going to demand huh?" he asked trying to be funny. She stopped putting clothes into bags and came around to the edge of Sam's bed and sat down.

"I don't ask for much Dean." Those words were her weapons. She only said that when she really wanted something from him, and because she didn't do it often, he always gave in. Plus, it was different talking to her…he didn't have to hold on to his protector of Sammy façade when he talked to her. His shoulders slumped. His left hand reached over and started to spin the silver ring on his right hand. He looked up at her briefly before starting.

"Sammy was happy, Mom was happy, everything was so perfect," he said his voice low and distant. He looked around the room avoiding her eyes and then snorted. "Perfect for everyone but me. I can't even be a good person in my dreams."

"You are a good person Dean."

"No, I'm not. I'm a killer, I'm a looser, I'm an idiot." His voice held venom and hatred. Did he really hate himself that much? Did he really believe the things that he felt? Was it the depression talking? He felt the tears sting the back of his eyes and he refused to let her see him cry. He had let her see his tears once or twice before but not this time. "Sammy believed that I would owe money to a bookie and that I would steal from mom in order to get the money." A bitter laugh escaped his lips. "Sammy thought it was normal. The look on his face when he said that he couldn't believe that we were even related, you should have seen it Hannah, he's given me that look before. Now, I just know what it means." He concentrated on the ring. "Mom was so proud of him, she just kept asking me what I was doing there. The only time she was really affectionate towards me was at the end when they wanted to keep me in the fantasy." Standing, running a hand through his hair he sighed. "Hannah, I didn't even go to college there either. I know Sammy is the smart one but…" he trailed off and he moved to look out the window. She was one of the few people that could move around him undetected and he jumped when she touched his shoulder.

"I love you Dean." He turned around and saw the tears running down her face. Her words were simple and yet they held so much power. When one didn't speak normally, anything they said seemed powerful and important. She touched his face in a loving sisterly way and continued. "You just don't love you. That was why the fantasy was like that. The Djin only had your memories and feelings to go from." She hugged him. "You are not worthless," her words whispered into his ear. That one simple sentence was it. That was what he needed to hear. He held onto her tightly.

"Thank you." She nodded into his chest. The door opened and Sam entered and the moment he saw his siblings his face went from plain unreadable lines to a mask of confusion and worry. Dean saw the look on his brother's face over the top of their sister's head and he gave a weak smile, kissed the top of Hannah's head, and let go.

"You all right?" Sam asked and for the first time in a long while Dean didn't want to kick Sam's teeth in at the sound of the question.

Instead he replied, "I'll be fine" and he meant it.