And so it goes. I'm more of a fan of internal struggle than a physical one, so enjoy as the battles move inside their minds. I do not own YYH, if I did it would probably have a different rating.
Thanks to the reviewers I've gotten so far. A little support goes a long way. That said, Rate and Review Please!!
Update: Let's bring the YYH Fandom back to life! I'm working on a series of fanfics to breathe new life into the YYH Yaoi community, but to do that I need to know what you want. So please, leave reviews or shoot me a pm with your requests! I promise I don't bite!
His eyes fluttered open, a sudden realization crashing over him. He was relaxed, and that was not a good thing. The last thing he remembered was hitting the grass, where or when was still unclear. This was no time to be caught off guard, of that he was sure. It took a moment to register that he was lying down, in a bed no less. Surrounded by the smell of soap and petals. Clutching at warmth. More than just warmth. The first coherent thought that raced through his head was a statement, but felt like a question: I am holding the fox. What disturbed him, though, was the state of the redhead.
He was tense. Not just still, but entirely unmoving, every muscle in his body held as tight as could possibly be. It wasn't just that. There was an aura about him, fear and anxiety and a dash of something painful. This was not what an embrace was meant to feel like, especially one as close as theirs.
The proximity took a moment to sink in. They were flush against each other, so that if either of them moved the other would sense it. An arm was wrapped around the fox's waist, tucked comfortably in one of his most intimate spots. Their feet were curled around each other, as if tied together intricately. Red hair pillowed around the other, the nape of a pale neck against his lips and nose as if it were the most natural thing in the world. Except that it was not natural. It felt forced, as if the fox was bound by invisible rope. That alone was enough to frighten him.
His other arm was numb, the redhead's torso on top of it. He cringed slightly, his finger twitching against the other's chest. That was all the invitation needed for the fox to move, slowly, as if he were testing the grip. Hiei pulled his arm back, watching as the other slid free to sit up, moving to the other side of the bed gracefully but quickly. He sat up, grimacing and putting his other hand against his side as he did. What came next hurt more. He looked up at the other, finding himself on the receiving end of a steely look. It lacked emotion, feeling more accusing than anything else he had ever felt before. He knew this look, but it had never been used on him. The fox had put on a mask, clearly seeing this encounter as he did one with his enemies: as a battle.
His body language disturbed the fire demon. He sat pushed back against the wall as far as he could, as if trying to maintain distance from the other without standing. His legs were pulled up against his chest protectively, one arm wrapping tightly around them while the other fisted the sheets behind him. His face was turned toward him, shoulders tense. The delicate lips that he sometimes stole glances at were pursed thinly, but it was the eyes that truly pained him. Something had happened. He had been responsible.
Not knowing what to do, the smaller one tried to readjust so he was better facing his partner, cringing and doubling over slightly as he realized the extent that his injury was paining him. Eyes watching him narrowed, not a good sign to say the least. His red eyes flickered up, meeting green.
"What happened." It was a command more than a question. He tried to gauge the other's reaction, only to find that there was none. Just silence filled with the empty stare. He swallowed heavily, mind reeling to figure out what could have caused either of the positions he had found himself in upon waking. Nothing made sense, not without an explanation. Damn fox, he thought, cursing at how difficult he expected this to be. It was himself he was angry with, though he did not know why.
For just the glimmer of a second, green irises flicked toward the end table, then back to him. He cocked his head to the side ever so slightly, raising a covered eyebrow as he turned to see what the fox was directing him to. "Kuso," he muttered under his breath, earning another narrowing of the eyes looking back at him. The fox's reaction had him even more perturbed than the fact that his surprise had been ruined. Still, he wasn't happy about that.
He slid over to the edge of the bed, taking in the final remnants of the redhead's residual heat almost sadly, but pushing the thought away roughly. Taking a deep breath, he stood, moving slowly as he straightened his back. He even cringed at the pain. Only the fox would get to see him this way, clearly weak and lacking the power to fight. He had bestowed that honor upon no one else, though he never verbalized it. Still, he was fairly certain that the other knew of its meaning, in the way that he always seemed to.
Taking the now grass stained gourd in his hands, he walked over to the redhead's position, feeling the atmosphere grow thicker-as if it could. He jutted a hand out, offering the object, but pulled back in surprise. It had been slight, but there was no mistaking it. The fox had flinched. Something was being lost in translation between them, and he was determined to remedy it. Moving carefully so as not to elicit the same response, he tried again.
"For you." He saw confusion swim in the green orbs for a moment before the mask went up again. Clearly, this was not what he had expected. The redhead made no move to take the object. He lowered his hand, taking the chance to sit back down on the edge of the bed, moving back to give the other breathing room. If he had learned one thing about the green eyed fighter it had been this: never corner a fox. Seeing that the spiky haired demon was trying to accommodate him, the fox lowered his eyes to the object sitting between them, still refusing to relax.
"What is it?" The words came out as a hiss, laced with a poison that he had not meant to administer with them. The other looked taken aback by them, and he frowned mentally. Clearly, the jaganshi was not aware of his actions; he should not be so quick to punish him for them. The tension in the room was electric, something that he knew he was causing. He bit his tongue, giving the other a chance to explain before filling him in on the events of the evening, if he chose to. The next move was not his, yet it would determine the outcome of the conversation. For once, the fox was not sure what the other was going to say; all responses would be a surprise. Just not as much of a surprise as he expected.
"A present. Happy birthday, Kurama." The redhead clamped his mouth shut, disbelief apparent on his face. Clearly not planning on saying anything, the hi youkai struggled for words. This was not his arena, of that they were both sure. Seeing that he had not answered the fox's question to satisfaction, he continued stumbling over words for the right ones, feeling as if they were vitally important to coming to some sort of understanding. "It's ancient, meant to heal human bodies." He swallowed, noting that the gaze which had returned to him was still blank, awaiting more. "I thought you could use it." Something flashed in those eyes, and he assumed it was anger. Had he just called the fox weak? He didn't think so, but tensed all the same, resulting in a sharp pain pulling from his side. Grasping at it as if it was the only tangible thing he could hold on to, he tried again, pressing his fingers against the twisted skin. "I don't like to see you hurt."
It was a loaded statement. He was pushing the fox, just a little, feeling as if there was nothing else he could say. Their roles had been reversed, leaving him feeling horribly unprepared. This was not how this was supposed to happen. This moment, this gifting, was meant to be one of the rare moments of intimacy he shared, something that he had been planning for months, letting it play in his head over and over until he had it right. None had gone to plan, and he shook slightly. Now, he only felt vulnerable and hurt, physically and deeply. There was a question spinning around in his head, one that he did not want to hear. Why? He didn't understand. It had all been ruined before he could even do anything about it. Feeling his exterior crack, he realized that his emotions were written on his face. For some reason, he found himself unable to hide them, turning his face away instead. Never before had he let any real feelings toward the fox surface, and he was furious to find that the first ones were shame, confusion, and hurt. He wanted to run, but knew that if he did he would never regain his control.
The fox knew that it was his turn to speak, but was transfixed by the storm raging across his companion's face. It elicited confusion; had he remembered what had occurred? No, that wasn't quite right. Something else was going on inside that tainted mind, something he was not privy to. Letting that go, only for a moment, he focused on what had been said, measuring his response carefully. What was the smaller demon trying to tell him? Judging by his changing features, the other did not know himself. He had simply been honest and open, leaving it to the other to sort out.
The fox was then in a predicament. All signs pointed toward one outcome; one he did not want. He knew that, as soon as he made a move, his emotions would give him away and it would send everything into a downward spiral. As much as he hated to admit it, the fire demon had frightened him. How exactly, he wasn't ready to put into words. The one thing that he felt comfortable vocalizing, at least to the other voice that whispered in the back of his consciousness, was that he had felt trapped and that was enough to send anyone reeling. He had not fought the demon for fear of hurting him, but equally had been treated like a doll. His body had been toyed with, his mind sent into chaos, and he was not pleased with either. What bothered him the most was that everything had been done with only a certain amount of the fire demon's awareness, meaning that there was subconscious intention in everything he had done. The whole thing had hurt his pride, maybe more than the grip on his neck. He did not want his friend to want to hurt him while desiring him. The fox was many things, but was not one to be forced.
Hiei had looked back over to him, his face noting the silence. Suddenly, the fox felt self-conscious. He lowered his head, letting his hair fall around his face. He took the opportunity, shadowed by a red curtain, to even himself out before continuing. A pang of guilt hit him as he felt the smaller one relax at his movement, knowing that it would hurt him all the more.
"Hiei," he began, lifting his face back up so that they locked eyes. His tone had calmed, resonating too evenly for someone as emotionally compromised. "How, exactly, do you feel about me?"
Ten seconds. That was how much time the fire demon sat there, tense again, shock stinging his spine. This was not what was supposed to happen. Had he given himself away? What had he given away? Did he even have any feelings to speak of? There was too much passing through his mind in that moment for coherence. All the while, he was watched. All thoughts faded as he understood the tone, the look, the language of the fox. He was being seen as a problem. He was being dealt with. He was in a position that he was unsure of how to handle. And he was frightened.
With not so much as a word, he fled, running as fast as his feet would take him back to the Makai.