Chapter Three
Richard Castle had not slept at all. By the time the sun rose and greeted Manhattan, Castle sat at his kitchen table with bags under his eyes, his weary body threatening to collapse. At eight-thirty, Kate Beckett strolled into the kitchen with a warm smile. She had slept soundly, happily – perhaps, Castle thought sadly, the happiest sleep she would have for a while.
"Hey," Beckett said. She walked over to the refrigerator door and pulled out a carton of milk. "What happened last night? Looks like you got up in the middle of the night and didn't fall back asleep."
Castle tried his best to smile, but he couldn't manage it.
"Sorry," he murmured, "something came up, and I couldn't stop thinking about it."
Beckett reached into the cabinet and pulled out a glass. She poured herself some milk and walked over to the kitchen table.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
Her eyes caught his, a worried look appearing across her face. Castle felt a lump develop in his throat. She was the one they should be concerned about, not him. Castle took a deep breath and willed himself to speak.
"We said we wouldn't keep promises from each other, right?" he asked her.
She nodded. Secrets had nearly destroyed their partnership, and they agreed to never let that happen again.
"Kate, they're after you," Castle said. "The people who killed your mother, this whole conspiracy, they're coming, and they're going to kill you."
Beckett's eyes narrowed in concern. "But the deal," she said, saying each word carefully. "You said that they would stop if I didn't look into my mother's case. I'm done. I'm not going after them again. So why are they still coming?"
Castle shook his head. "I don't know, but the deal is broken. I think it's gone too far, Kate. This time, they're not going to stop, no matter what you do."
Beckett opened her mouth to speak, but the words never came out. Castle's heart pounded in his chest. He wanted to go to her, to embrace her and tell her that everything would be all right. But as always, something stopped him. He had always thought it was fear, uncertainty about where he and Beckett stood in their relationship, but he knew now it was something more than that. He could not bring himself to touch her when she was most vulnerable, because he did not know what he could do without hurting her.
"There's more," Castle said.
He dropped his gaze. He did not want to look Kate in the eye when he said these crucial words. She would hate him for it, and he already hated himself so much for putting this plan into action. But she needed to know what was going to happen, and he needed to let all the other pieces fall into place. It was the only way to keep her safe.
His eyes turned towards the table in front of him. Two hours earlier, the kitchen table had been filled with papers detailing his plan. Now, all that was left was his cell phone and a coffee stain on the table from when he needed that 3 am boost. Castle had burned everything else. That was the first rule about pulling something like this off: leave no evidence.
He took the cell phone off the table and placed it in his pocket. He would need it later, after – a chill went through his veins – after Kate left.
"I've made some arrangements for you," Castle said. "You're going to disappear, far away from New York, far away from anything that has to do with your mom's murder. You'll become someone else, someone that the people looking for Kate Beckett will never find."
He looked up. He expected Beckett's face to be filled with anger, as it always was when Castle tried to take control of her life. Yet Kate seemed to be on the verge of tears, her mouth pouting like a child whose life was being dictated by adults and had no choice in the matter. Castle had only seen this face once before, in the hanger the night Captain Montgomery was killed. It had broken his heart to see her so helpless, and it was breaking his heart now.
"No," she murmured, so softly that Castle barely heard it.
"It's the only way," Castle said, standing up. "You've got to. You have to get away from all this. It's the only way to keep you safe."
"No!" Beckett shouted so loudly that Castle feared the rest of his family would come and investigate. He sighed softly in relief when he remembered that Martha had gone on a retreat and Alexis had spent the night out with friends. They couldn't be around. They couldn't know what Castle planned to do. That was the second rule: Only those involved could ever know. That was the only way to keep the secret safe.
Beckett stumbled towards Castle, placing her hands on his chest.
"Please, Rick," she murmured to him. "You can't do this to me. My whole life is here. My Dad, my friends, you…How am I supposed to leave that all behind?"
Richard choked on his words. A lump developed in his throat, and he forced himself to swallow it down.
"You have to," he said. "Believe me, if there was any other way, I would do it, but they're after you, Kate. And they're not going to stop until they find you and they kill you. You have to know, it kills me to send you away like this, but if it'll keep you safe, then I'm willing to do it."
He closed his eyes. He did not want to see Kate in this much pain, but he needed to tell her everything before she disappeared from his life forever.
"I've arranged for two bodyguards to pick you up and take you in a tinted black van to an undisclosed location. I've known these two for several years now, and I'd trust them with my life, so you'll be safe until you get there. From the minute you leave this house, you'll be going under a different name. Kate Beckett will cease to exist."
The details of his convoluted plan spun wildly through his head. He was up against the demons who had killed Johanna Beckett: they were clever, and – as far as Richard Castle knew – they were everywhere. He needed to take every precaution, place every red herring he could. The details were nauseating, difficult for even Richard Castle to keep up with. Three identity switches, four changing of guards escorting her, and as many trips to random, undisclosed locations as he could manage. If all went according to plan – and, Castle thought with a deep breath, this was only part one of his master plan – she would escape into anonymity, and it would look as though Kate Beckett had never left New York City.
As Castle finished laying out the details, he opened his eyes. Beckett stared back at him. He couldn't tell what that expression was on her face – fear? Incredulity? Helplessness? – but it killed him all the same.
"I've got no choice, do I?" she finally murmured.
Castle shook his head. For a moment, they stood in silence, not knowing what to say to each other. He should say something, Castle thought to himself. There was such little time left. Soon, Kate Beckett would be nothing more than a distant memory, and all Richard Castle had now was this one small moment with her. Yet he couldn't think of what to say.
Richard Castle opened his mouth, hoping that the words would come to him. As he did, the door knocked, and he felt his heart drop into his stomach. Every time, he thought to himself. This happened every time.
"That'll be them," he croaked. He walked slowly to the door, like a prisoner heading towards the gallows.
"Rick," Kate called out to him.
Castle turned around to face her. For a moment, he felt stunned as he looked at her, standing calmly before him. Maybe it was because he knew he would never see Kate Beckett again, but Richard Castle was struck by how absolutely beautiful she really was. He knew he would never find anyone who could stand as tall as she did, even as the world around her was crumbling apart. Only Kate Beckett could seem extraordinary just by standing in front of him, wearing a plain t-shirt and blue jeans, her brunette locks resting gently on her shoulders. Castle's heart beat wildly in his chest. It took everything he had not to run back to her.
"Rick," Kate said again. "I just want you to know, whatever happens…"
Her voice trailed away. Kate breathed in for a moment, as though she was trying to find her words. Castle smiled. He wanted to tell her that she didn't have to say anything. He knew what she meant. He always knew.
But before he could say a word, Beckett spoke again. She raised her head, her eyes shimmering with determination.
"Whatever happens," she told him, "I love you. Always."
Kate Beckett walked through the doors of Richard Castle's apartment and out of his life forever. After she left, Castle grabbed a bottle of scotch and a glass from the kitchen and walked into his office, closing the door behind him. He poured himself a shot and downed it in one go. The alcohol burned in his throat, but he barely tasted it.
Castle sighed, placing the glass down on his desk. When Kate left, Castle felt something die within himself. His body ached, begging for a moment to grieve over his wounds, but Castle ignored the pain. If he gave in now, he didn't think he would ever stop. And, he reminded himself bitterly, there was still work to be done.
Castle reached into his pocket and pulled out his cell phone. He opened his desk drawer and took out four business cards. They were all old friends, people Richard Castle knew he could count on to do the job right: Dr. Vincent Shoksky, Anatomical Research Foundation; Dr. James Bryer, Manhattan Cosmetics; Xavier Kane, Kane & Son Moving Co.; and Dr. Lanie Parish, NYPD Medical Examiner.
Taking the first card in hand, Richard Castle punched the numbers into his cell phone and waited for an answer. As the dial tone rang in his ear, Castle inhaled deeply. He knew how all the pieces should fall into place. He only hoped he was putting his trust in the right people.