A/N: Thanks again for the reviews. :D I'm really not sure how I feel about this piece, so the input is great. I'm not sure if this fic is speculation or pure venting anymore, lol. There's no spoilers for stuff that hasn't been shown in this though.

I owe the lovely adventures at livejournal for the inspiration.

"Oh, Artie!" Rachel ran up to me one day early the next week with a huge smile on her face. Before I knew it, she'd scooped me up in a giant hug. "I'm so sorry! I feel like this is all my fault."

"What are you talking about?" I knotted my eyebrows as she finally lowered me back into my chair.

"I met Finn's friend. You know, that guy who was paralyzed in the football game." She gave me a look with her big brown eyes, suddenly making me really nervous. "You know that I pick out a lot of the songs that we do. I know you've been feeling left out lately and I guess I never realized how hard that is for you."

I shook my head, confusion and defeat running rampant through my brain. "I thought everyone understood that after we did Proud Mary."

"Physically, yes, I realize it's hard." She nodded confidently and set her eyes in that really annoying, overdramatic way of hers. "But there's no way I could know what it'd be like to not be able to do what I love. I think I'd die if I ever really lost my voice."

"First of all, I'm nothing like that guy." Finn always told me how hard he had it and what an inspiration he was. No one ever said that about me. "I made a stupid mistake. I never should have messed up the choir room. I don't even really care about dancing," I shrugged, avoiding her intense gaze.

"Are you sure?" I just nodded, but as I rolled away, I was anything but confident.

"As much as I hate to admit it, Rachel's right," I sighed as I accompanied Tina to our next class. "I have been feeling left out lately."

"Is that why you did it?" She asked softly.

I shook my head. "Not really. I just feel like nobody takes us seriously. I feel like we're almost invisible sometimes."

"I know, I still can't believe Mr. Schue cut off our duet last week."

"I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend/ Lucky to have been where I have been/ Lucky to be coming home again," We sang, smiling at each other.

"That's really sweet, you guys," Mr. Schuester stopped them short. "But the assignment was to sing about how you feel right now."

"That is how we feel," I said, smiling, Tina nodding right along.

"I meant a solo," the teacher said, totally ignoring the two other duets that had been spotlighted.

"So I guess I thought the prank would be a good idea. I just want to be taken seriously, you know," I shrugged. "I'm tired of being a loser and I thought Puck could help me out with that."

Tina actually laughed at that. "Puck could never be a loser. And neither could you."

"Thanks, I guess," I shrugged, not so sure.

"It's like everybody just feels bad for me." I muttered into my lap. I'd crossed my legs on the huge couch, refusing to look vulnerable.

Slowly, I gazed up at the curly haired lady seated before me. She was smiling widely, almost too friendly. "Artie, I think you're projecting your feelings onto others again. Remember what I told you about Tina."

"Don't let your anger out on others," I mocked back at her. "I'm not letting my anger out. I'm not projecting. It's true. If Puck had pulled such a stupid prank, he would have been suspended. If it had been anybody else, they would have gotten kicked out of glee club. Me? I just get these stupid looks."

"What exactly did you do?"

"I told you. I trashed the choir room because everybody feels bad for me. I'm never a part of what's going on in the club." Some of my anger was boiling back up to the surface. I had been so young when it'd happened; I felt like I'd never really had a chance to live. "It was stupid, but it proved my point. Even afterwards, everyone just felt bad that I would do something so stupid."

"You keep saying people feel bad for you. Do you feel bad for Finn's friend? What's his name, Shawn?"

"I never even met the guy," I shrugged, shifting uncomfortably. "But from what I understand, he's got it pretty bad. A lot worse than I do. And he actually had something to lose. A scholarship. His favorite sport. So yeah, I feel bad for him, but it's justified, you know? I never had anything to lose. I feel like I'd be a loser no matter what."

"You're the only person who can say what you are."

"Oh stop it," I shook my head. "I mean, I love singing and making movies and playing guitar, but that stuff is never gonna make me popular."

"Do you really care about being popular?"

I snorted. "Of course not. Me, popular? You wish. But even in glee club, I feel like I'm always the odd one out. Me and Tina. Like, even in our little group of outcasts, I don't really fit. Everybody else has found their place, but I haven't really been able to adapt. I feel like I'm always stuck in the middle; not really all there. I don't try too hard like Rachel, but I'm not slacking off like some people. I don't need all the attention like some people do, but I don't want to just sway in the background. It's like I just can't find my place, you know?"

"I don't know if that's so true. I know we talked about this, but you've found what you're good at. You told me you like doing creative stuff, so go with that. Maybe ask Rachel if she wants to make another video."

I blinked at her and opened my eyes wide with disbelief. A moment later, I burst out laughing. "Are you insane? She drove me crazy over 'Run Joey Run.' She's insane. She wouldn't rest until it was exactly how she wanted it. The video turned out horrible. I tried to warn her," I shook my head sadly. "I would never work with her again."

"OK, so maybe you don't need to do more projects. You said you feel left out of glee club. Have you ever sung a song by yourself in glee club?"

"No, not by myself."

"Maybe you should try it. It's time for you to show the club what you can do, in a positive way."

I shrugged. "I guess I could try. I'm not sure how Rachel will feel."

"Go for it," Rachel shrugged at me the next day when I asked her.

"What? I thought you wanted to sing all the time."

"Well, I do love singing." As soon as she opened her mouth, I knew she would start on one of her diatrides. God she was annoying. "And face it, you guys need me, but everyone needs a chance. I mean, Kurt and Mercedes are pretty good. I'd love to see what you could do. You have a good voice."

"What happened to you?" I looked up at her, making sure this was the same Rachel Berry I'd met back in September.

She just shrugged. "Glee club is the only place I actually have a chance to shine. I've realized you guys might feel the same." She gave me a soft smile. Maybe I could actually like this new, vulnerable Rachel. "Besides, meeting Shawn made me realize just how much you can do. I'd love to see more of it."

I just shook my head, my chest tensing up. "Don't make this about him, please. Things are hard for me too, but I guess I'm kind of used to it." I shrugged and wheeled ahead of her a few paces. Suddenly, I turned back to face her. "Oh, and Rachel, thanks for the chance to sing."

The next day, I got up in front of the club and sang with my heart out on my sleeve.

I made this bed, I choose to lie in it.
Live with my regrets, sleep with what I said.
Could this be the end,

Am I standing on the edge

of everything I wanted now?
But I was afraid, I was afraid

Maybe I'm just scared to face the things I fail
It's easier to walk away from everything

Seperate my soul with all the things we shared
I'm fallin to pieces now
Say a prayer for me when you go to bed
I'm in need of your faith now
But I was afraid

Maybe I'm just scared to face the things I fail
It's easier to walk away from everything

If we could just re-set and live in happiness
Instead of our regrets, we'd salvage everything

we don't have to walk away
Pray for me now, I'm in need of faith
Pray for me now, I'm in need