A/N: Yay! Finally, I'm posting my own work! We had a meeting on the contents yesterday while we were walking home, and decided that Obi Wan should give Anakin "The Talk". But none of us wanted to write that chapter. So we played "Rock, Paper, Scissors" and I lost. Yay me.

Disclaimer: We own nothing. Not even the Little Blonde Thing! WAAAAAAAAAHHH!

My Chapter

Dear Diary,

This morning, when I got up, Master Yoda summoned me to a Jedi Council Meeting. I thought it was because they wanted to make me a master or something. Turns out the meeting was for "or something".

They have added a new rule to the Jedi Code. All masters/knights-with-apprentices must give their padawons "The Talk". I HAVE TO GIVE THE LITTLE BLONDE THING "THE TALK"!

I decided to go ahead and get it over with this afternoon. I found the Thing sitting on the couch in the living room. I couldn't look at him, so I stared pacing around the room while I talked.

"Now Anakin," I said, using the Thing's real name for once. "I could go all Once Upon a Mattress (A/N: It's a musical. Don't ask) with this and use all that 'boy flower, girl flower, bee comes' crap."

"Uh-huh," said the Thing, not looking at me. I thought that was pretty nice of him. Like, maybe he didn't want to make me more uncomfortable than I already was.

"But I'm not," I continued. "I'm going to give you the straight facts, because Master Yoda requires me to."

"Sure," said the Thing in the same monotone voice as last time.

"Ok then," I said, clearing my throat which had suddenly gone dry. "You see, when a Mommy marries a Daddy, and they love each other very much, on that special night, they-"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGHHHHH!" the Thing screamed.

"What's wrong?" I asked, thinking it was something I had said.

"You made me lose my video game!" the Thing yelled. I looked over the couch to see his Game Boy on his lap, flashing the words "Game Over". "Way to go, Benjie! And I had almost beaten my high score!"

The little twirp hadn't been listening to a word I'd said. I decided to drop the subject. He can learn about it from his youngling friends at the Jedi Temple. I tried, Master Yoda, if you're reading this. Also, if you ARE reading this, YOU'RE A DEAD MAN, THING, WHATEVER! I hate my life!

Obi Wan

A/N 2: If you're wondering what happened to Diamond, she is Jessica's OC and will only be in her chapters. XOXOXOX