Chapter Three

Jane's cloud was made up of a three-story Victorian home painted powder blue and cream. She loved it. It was spacious and airy and had shiny hardwood floors. Her plot was expansive, at least 2 acres of woods for her to walk through when she needed time to think. Her woodland friends were some of her best friends and they would often sit with her when she was able to find the time.

Currently though, Jane was not loving much of anything in her house. She looked around her living room and decided that she needed help organizing her angelic life better. She had paper, books, clothes, and shoes scattered all about. The rest of the house didn't look that much better. She knew that without even having to look.

Jane chose to clean her home by hand rather than resorting to her powers to do so. Like most G.A.'s who wanted better to understand their charges, Jane had chosen to live, for the most part, like a human. As much as angel could anyway. There were some limitations such as the fact that she didn't feel pain the way a human did, and she didn't necessarily need to shower the way a human did – though she did enjoy doing so. There was something quite soothing about water cascading down all around her. Even if she did have to take a blow-dryer to her wings after, or go for a jaunt in the clouds to dry them off. And though she didn't need to eat or drink, she often did. Angels were big on chocolate – all of them. Rumor had it a G.A. who graduated to Muse inspired the invention of chocolate.

Loki said that angels had chocolate because they didn't have sex.

He was wrong. Angels did have sex. Just not a lot of it. There was no time. Fighting the forces of darkness was a job and a half and it was understood that angels needed to be in committed relationships before they had sex. There wasn't much time to cultivate those.

So, okay, yes. In a sense, Loki was right.

And, come to think of it, there were scads of chocolate to be found everywhere. Archangel Michael had a wicked sweet tooth but no one called attention to it. If there was anyone that needed to have sex badly –

"Good job, Jane. Insult your mentor," Jane muttered to herself.

As though he had heard her errant thoughts a piece of white paper floated down from her ceiling. Speak of the angel…

Jane held out her hand and the paper drifted into it.

Jane

I wish to speak with you. Please meet me in my classroom at your earliest convenience.

Thank you,

AM

If Jane could swear, she would. Archangel Michael wanted to speak to her. She slapped a hand to her forehead and moaned. He knew! He knew she'd kissed Loki and liked it.

What would become of her now? Would she be made mortal? She would rather be sent to – no, not there. Not H-E-double hockey sticks. That would be a fate worse than becoming mortal. Or at least a close second. Earth was such a mess…when she thought of Alexander and how much time he spent doubting himself, getting in his own way, denying his potential, and self-destructing. She just didn't get it. Why were humans filled with such self-doubt? Why did they exert so much energy worrying over stupid things? Why did they do things to harm themselves and others? Wasn't it easier to get along with each other than fight so much?

Watching them bumbling about trying to figure out their lives and having moments of complete clarity before their ego got in the way and blew it all to H-E-double hockey sticks…it was exhausting. No wonder angels didn't have time for relationships or sex. No wonder Archangel Michael had a stash of chocolate that would put mortal women with PMS to shame.

Jane heaved a deep sigh (another thing angels didn't have to do, but did anyway: breathe), and walked back out of her house. She looked up, braced herself, and then flew up to see what Archangel Michael wanted to talk to her about.

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Archangel Michael was a rather large angel, and he could change his size on a whim. Jane had seen him grow as tall as a redwood and shrink to the size of a chipmunk. In fact, she had seen him actually turn into a chipmunk and a tree. It all depended on what the humans he watched over needed at the time. Yes, Archangel Michael watched over humans, too. When one was an Archangel one could do exactly what humans wished they could do: be in several places at once.

At the moment, the Archangel was standing behind his podium, the one he stood behind when teaching his G.A.'s. He was writing something down. He had a shock of blond hair and piercing blue eyes. He wore silver armor and a blue sash and kilt. His sword and shield were never far behind. Currently, they were on the desk behind the podium. And, no matter how imposing the thought of him was, his actual presence was comforting. Being around Archangel Michael was almost like being around The Creator. Both inspired that feeling of comfort and a willingness to do anything they asked.

When he saw her, he smiled. "Hello, Jane. How's my favorite G.A. today?"

"I'm not your favorite."

His smile fell and he nodded. "You're right, you're not. I don't play favorites."

She sighed. "I know." She clasped her hands in front of her tightly. "What did you want to speak to me about?"

"Alexander."

Relief flooded through Jane and she smiled. "Okay, yes. What about Alexander?"

"How is he doing on his PBE?"

"His Plan for the Betterment of Earth? Well, we had a setback."

"The other woman?"

"Yes. I couldn't convince him to not have relations with her." She smirked. "He was out of chocolate." The joke was DOA. Archangel Michael just looked at her quizzically and Jane waved a hand dismissively. "Never mind. I tried my best but Loki had too much sway over him."

Archangel Michael sighed. "Well, this might set him back. It depends, of course, on what his next course of action will be after this; if he chooses to tell Denise what he did or if he will hide it. We of course want him to be honest and work things out with Denise. If he continues on the path with this other woman then we project him getting involved in an array of troubles that could even put him on the path for an early demise."

Jane's jaw dropped. "Alexander could die?"

"They're humans, Jane. They all die at some point."

The other thing about Archangel Michael? He could be annoyingly literal.

"No, I mean, early. He could die early."

Archangel Michael nodded, looking as solemn as ever.

"But he can't die early!" Jane exclaimed. "He has so much he's supposed to do! He hasn't made amends with his father yet, he hasn't been to Comic Con. His art hasn't been discovered yet—

"Denise was the catalyst for all of that. With this other woman…"

"Archangel Michael, can't you intervene? Can't you do something?"

"No, Jane. If I interfere with him then all the other G.A.'s will expect—"

"I know, I know," Jane muttered, not even caring that she'd just cut off the Big Guy. She'd been with Alexander since he was a baby. Sure he could make a bungle of things, and he didn't realize what a talented artist he was – not with all the things his father had done to undermine him – and now this. Now because of a romp that Loki had pushed so hard for, Alexander could die before being discovered, before reaching his PBE –

Her small hands turned into fists. "I'm going to fix this," she said.

Archangel Michael smiled. "I have faith in you, Jane."

"Thank you," she said. "If you'll excuse me."

She flew off, heading back to Earth, heading back to fix what had been broken. She had to save her human, her Alexander. If Loki's pushing for Alexander to sleep with that other woman caused her human to die, well then H-E-double hockey sticks would hath no fury like an angel scorned.

xxxxxxx

"Do you ever just take a break?" Loki asked when he'd arrived at Alexander's to find Jane spritzing a bottle of the perfume Denise wore in the air. Alexander had bought her a bottle and he was going to wrap it up all nice and give it to her for the encouragement she'd given him on his graphic novel before that other woman had come over and ruined everything. No, it wasn't that other woman so much as Loki.

She shot him a glare and it must have been pretty ferocious for he held up his hands and backed off. But then he laughed and ruined it all.

"I'm not allowed to hate," she told him, "but I can say that I strongly dislike you right now." She spritzed more perfume in the air as Alexander walked by.

He stopped mid-stride on his way to his bedroom and sniffed the air.

Jane grinned and went over to him. She whispered in his ear, "Denise."

Alexander's semi-handsome face scrunched up in disgust and he turned away from the door.

"The girl in your bedroom takes it in the ass," Loki said loudly.

Alexander looked toward the door.

"Denise might if you just ask her," Jane said.

Alexander turned away from the door.

"You know she won't," Loki said.

"But she loves you enough that she might and really, Alexander, is that such a deal breaker? She might enjoy other sexual adventures," Jane said.

Alexander just stood there in his living room in his Captain America boxer shorts and did nothing.

"Frankly, I'm appalled with you, Jane," Loki told her. "Maybe Denise would take it in the tush? How desperate are you?"

"I'm not going to let you get your hooks in him, Loki, and ruin his life! His entire life! What would be the point of those endless hours he's spent on his graphic novel? He was going to inspire kids and adults alike with its publication."

"So, it gets published posthumously and we both win."

"No," she spat and looked at Alexander. "Oh for crying out loud, Alexander, do something!"

Alexander did. He went to the bathroom. Jane threw up her arms in exasperation.

"What's gotten into you?" Loki smirked. "The fear of God?"

Jane then did something she'd never done before. To anyone, ever. Not even Loki at his worst. She marched up to him and slapped him hard across the face. She was going to get in big trouble for this and the kicker was? She didn't care.