Authors Note: Hiiiiiiiiii! Wow I am so sorry for how delayed this has been but with the past couple of weeks since my last update, you could basically say that my life has been through a washing machine several times over... But that doesn't matter, I've finally got this up and I'm feeling a little relieved. Not sure when the next and final part will be up but in the meantime, I wish you all a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! Enjoy x

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Selfish

Part III: Shadows

Don't hate me, don't regret me, don't even forget me. Wherever you go, whatever you do, don't say I never loved you.

He was tired.

Hunched over on the floor with his shirt damply clinging to his body, was where Potter found him.

As his heavy breathing echoed in the large training room, Draco kept his head down, purely not bothered to lift it or make eye contact with The Boy Who Lived. "What are you doing here, Potter?"

Harry didn't move from his post beside the door. "You haven't answered any of my letters so I thought I'd pay you a visit."

"How did you know w-where I was?" Draco breathed out, exhausted.

"I tried your apartment and you weren't there and the next most reasonable place to check was here." Harry stated matter-of-factly.

"Well now you've found me, so, you can be on your way out now."

He heard Harry mutter something to himself before he heard his footsteps getting closer. Before he knew it, he was being lifted to his feet. "I didn't come all this way just to check whether you were alive or not, Malfoy."

"Then why are you here?" It was a stupid question because he knew too well why.

It'd been a month since she had left and since he himself had withdrawn from the world. He'd done all he could not to remember the night that everything had essentially fallen apart. Everything seemed surreal a week after the incident. Not finding her in his bed like she used be to or the way that she would surprise him with home dates that he never got to enjoy because of how selfish and arrogant he'd been about his work.

Fucking hell.

And then his crest necklace was quite the painful reminder too. It wasn't meant to be sitting on his bedside table gathering dust. It was meant to be latched around her neck, meant to glow against her silk-soft milky skin.

Draco squeezed his eyes closed, trying to push the memories and oncoming dizziness away. He'd done all he could to forget the unforgivable deed he'd done. He even went as far as to obliviate the memory from Pansy's thick skull.

He felt like a coward, having to wipe the memory from Pansy's mind, but he was near compelled to do it. She would've been the only other person to know of his infidelity and could've used it against him; so he had to do it.

Draco now stood there, wand in one hand, clenching his fists in an attempt to control his rising fury. And Potter's presence wasn't helping.

"I'm pretty sure you know the answer to that one, Malfoy."

Taking measured breaths, Draco rolled his shoulders back and stood up straight. He was not going to have a heart-to-heart, deep and meaningful conversation with Harry Potter. And so, he started to walk away, further from the living soul that annoyed him simply with its existence.

"I'm not leaving till you tell me what happened!" Harry called after him. "I couldn't get a word out of Hermione either! I don't even know where she is."

He froze. The sound of her name had him falling apart inside.

Harry saw him visibly tense even at a distance. He knew he'd struck a chord and was ready for the backfire of consequences for doing so. "You can both be so ridiculously stubborn and sometimes, it never works out for either of you! The more you leave this situation the harder it'll be when you even bother to try and get it back."

Draco just stood there, unmoving, trying to get grips of his sanity before all hell broke loose.

"You know, you two are so alike, it's no wonder she'd fallen for you!"

Draco felt his arms seize up.

"I don't even know what else she could possible see in you besides the fact that you're quite the coward when you want to be." Harry knew very that what he was doing had him wading waist deep in dangerous waters.

It was almost as if he could feel his limbs being set on fire. Draco felt the adrenaline slowly dousing every fiber of his being.

"You don't even deserve her."

The silence that followed was fatal and Harry was so much as blessed that he didn't blink when Draco spun around, firing a beam of red light his way.

And then they were both off, Harry in a defensive mode and conjuring obstacles to hide behind while Draco, on the other hand, was all for turning Harry Potter into The Boy Who Stopped Living Because Of Draco Malfoy.

The heat of the atmosphere in the room was intense. Harry wasn't surprised if something were to combust, there was that much electricity in the air and it all came from Draco. His wrath was near tangible and he could admit that he was a little frightened.

Draco was consumed with rage, blinded. He fired all he knew at Harry with reckless abandon, not caring if he actually struck him down or not. All that reverberated around his skull was that one line, 'You don't even deserve her.'

He didn't want to hear what he had always deeply feared.

"You don't know what I do and do not deserve Potter!" Draco roared as his entire frame was buzzing with power.

Harry darted around and dodged all that Draco fired at him, attempting to get close enough to fire back at Draco and disarm him. He now had to let Draco vent because all that was pent up inside of him needed to come out.

"You will never ever know how hard I work for what I want or what I go through to get what I deserve!" Draco's throat was almost dry with exhaustion, his over exertion finally taking its toll.

He wasn't going to give up, no way.

A sudden dizziness consumed his very mind at one instant, giving Harry an unfortunate advantage.

Harry watched as Draco's eyes glazed over, knowing fully that he had pushed himself a little too hard and the consequences were finally kicking in. In the moment that Draco had so involuntarily presented him with, Harry dashed out from behind his conjured barricade while firing an Expelliarmus right at Draco.

He was forced back meters from where he previously stood, the gust of wind that formed in his wake causing gooseflesh to rise over his exposed arms once he'd landed with a thud. His head felt as though all the fluid in his skull turned to liquid mercury, the weight so heavy it was almost as if he'd leave a dent in the floor beneath him.

And now, all the energy that he thought he had left as he was dueling Harry previously, kicked in as the painful lactic acid that swam through his body, leaving him breathing deep and trying to get a grip on a steady pulse.

But no, his already dying pulse continued to slow. Black spots seeped in and out of his view before he let his consciousness go. All he saw before it all went black, were a pair of spectacles he wished to snatch off the bearers face and stamp all over.

.

.

"I am not going to get up."

She sat there, glaring daggers at him. But he wasn't going to have it, her continual refusal wouldn't stop him from walking over there and physically picking her up off of the couch if that was what it came to.

"Granger, do you really think I'm going to let you sit there on your arse all day doing shit all? You need to get up and get moving!"

"The doctor said—"

"I couldn't care less what the doctor said, you are going to stand up at least once today!" Draco stood and stalked over to where Hermione sat, smirking as she curled up on herself as if bracing herself for what he was to do next.

"Draco—! No, no! Don't you dare—!" With wide eyes she snatched her wand from the coffee table in front of her and pointed it directly towards his chest. "I'm not kidding Draco, come any closer and I will—"

Draco effortlessly darted forward and scooped her up before she could fire any jinx toward him. He held her tight, making sure she couldn't somehow manage to free her arms and escape his grasp or smack him over the head. Either option wasn't particularly desired.

She was as light as a feather, her weight bearing no burden for him as he picked up a light jog, maneuvering them both through the halls of Malfoy Manor. Draco wandlessly opened the door to his newly refurbished training room, placed her down as lightly as he could before magically locking the door.

"And here we are!"

"Draco—"

He cut her off with overly emphasizing coughs as he cleared his throat. "We are gathered here today for Miss Granger's first lesson in Defense Against Draco Malfoy! Now, would you please rise…?"

Draco flicked his wand at her tired form still seated on the floor, intending for the motion to make her stand.

Hermione just stared back at him. Her honey brown orbs twinkling lightly, and for a moment he could've let her just stay seated but no, he would make her move. Shaking his head, he thought of ways he could get her to her feet without forcing her… physically.

"Refusing to participate in this lesson will result in detention…" Draco stated, carrying on his professional façade.

The corners of her lips pulled into a nimble smile, his heart fluttering slightly at the sight of it.

But still she didn't move.

"I won't ask you again, Hermione."

"And what will you do if I don't, Draco?"

That was all he needed to proceed in reveling in his mischievous self. "Diffindo."

The buttons of her cream blouse burst off in quick succession, pitter-pattering on the hard wood floor around her. Her facial expression morphed from tired, to shock and then to furious. Draco did all he could to refrain from bursting out laughing.

"Draco! How dare you!" She slowly began to lift herself from the floor in a flurry of exhausted limbs. "What gave you the right to just—"

This was his chance to take advantage and now he really had to get her moving. Draco knew his next move would be the perfect catalyst. He redirected his pointed wand from her to the window to her left. "Reducto!"

Time slowed down as the spell penetrated the window. Hermione dropped to the floor, diving forward out of the line of the crystal mass flying toward her. Landing with a heavy thud, she watched on in a moment of awe as the shards of glass twinkled and spun in mid-air, a mosaic, a dance of broken, gleaming fragments in the setting sun.

She rolled away from the shower of fractured glass, only to collide with the wall, forcing her to roll back over the fresh carpet of glass. Multiple points of her body were stabbed by the diverse lengths of glass splinters, making her shriek in pain.

Draco now crouched into an offensive stance, ready for her and whatever she was bound to launch at him. He watched in wonder as she rose from the ground, cheeks now flushed a bright crimson and her eyes burning bright with the intention on setting anything her sights were laid upon ablaze. His mere existence the primary target.

"You mindless idiot!" Hermione very much shrieked. "Are you mental!?"

He could physically see her body buzzing with fury, the electricity surrounding her petite form giving her a dangerous glow. Draco knew her question was rhetorical and before he could even think to sarcastically reply, she'd fired a Stupefy directly at him.

They were off and darting around the room, twirling and leaping out of the way of their fired curses.

"Impedimenta, Incarcerous!" Hermione bellowed.

Draco spun out of the course of the jinxes, chuckling as he shouted, "Missed me!"

Hermione snarled.

Were his ears deceiving him or did she really just snarl? And at him!?

He'd set something off within her and he ever so slightly feared for his life. Never had he ever heard her snarl in such an aggressive manner, ever! He'd never even heard her make such an animalistic sound in the time he'd known her at all.

And now he took the time to watch how she moved as he conjured obstacles in her way, in admiration of her fluidity and how graceful she appeared before him. She even looked kind of sexy, all angry and flushed.

Being completely taken by how flawless she looked in her prime, Draco's efforts dropped faintly but unfortunately enough for Hermione to notice.

Hermione dashed and obliterated his summoned hurdles, firing a Deprimo toward a slightly dazed Draco Malfoy. The strong gust of wind sent Draco's lean form surging backwards, landing with a hefty thud.

That was unexpected, Draco dizzily thought.

His head felt as though swarms of butterflies were whizzing their way around in different circular motions, making it hard to get a grip on reality. He groaned aloud, the sound coming out in broken strands as he tried to breath deep.

Black dots began to seep in and out of his view as his drumming pulse started to slow. He managed to register the thud of weight beside him, the small draft causing his skin to tingle.

Draco could hear the muffled apologies flowing from Hermione's lips.

"Oh… Shut up you…" he drawled as his consciousness lingered. "But see…? You're… Okay…"

In the moments before his vision went blank, his palm burned with the warmth of skin to skin contact. Draco drifted into unconsciousness with the quiet chime of Hermione's laugh and a smile on his lips.

.

.

Hollow. Drained. Wounded.

Not physically but mentally, it was all painful.

Slowly blinking away the fragments sleep caught between his eyelashes, Draco remained still, taking in his surroundings and realizing he was in his own bedroom. Every part of his body felt as though it'd burnt, beaten and battered. But it was all in his head, and heart.

All that happened before he'd passed out came back to the forefront of his memory, reminding him that he could never really escape reality entirely. There was only so long that he would've been able to all his emotions trapped away. His moment of weakness allowed it to consume him entirely, leaving him feeling as he was in the current moment.

Hermione.

She'd done this to him. If it wasn't for her, none of this would've happened. But even she wasn't entirely to blame. It's not like he hadn't played his fair share in ruining it all.

And now he lay there, still remaining unmoving in fear that the agony would worsen, not knowing what to do.

His thoughts were interrupted by the opening of the door.

His mother entered, followed by Deli his house elf holding a tray of food.

"Ah, Master Draco is awake!" Deli placed the now hovering tray beside Draco before dashing back out the door. Narcissa kept her post at the door, watching with a particular look in her eyes that he couldn't place.

"How are you feeling Draco?"

He merely moaned in reply, feeling unable to speak.

"You have a visitor…"

Who could possibly visit me now?

His mother moved from the doorway, inching back out the door as a new figure appeared. The token spectacles gave him away instantly, causing Draco to manage a growl at the depths of his throat. "Oh… fuck off…"

Harry didn't care for his obvious lack of enthusiasm toward his arrival and continued to stand at the edge of his bed. "I'm going to leave, but before I do, have something to say."

"Don't you always…" Draco choked up in response.

Harry rolled his eyes at him, "I know I may never know what truly happened between the two of but what I do know is that you better fix it fast because 'Mione would never have stuck around for as long as she had with you if it weren't for whatever it was that keeps her tied to you, which is something I'll never really understand either. You have to find her, whether you get back together or don't, you have to make amends. Not leave it like this."

Draco stayed silent, not wanting to make eye contact with annoying git before him. Who did Potter think he is, coming in and trying to play love doctor? He felt utterly uncomfortable being under the scrutinizing gaze of The Chosen One and so he decided to speak, "You can leave now…"

Harry had already made his way for the door by the time he chose to speak, leaving Draco to ponder on what was said and he own thoughts.

"And by the way, I'd been told she was last with Ginny before she left." And then he was out.

The silence that consumed the large expanse that was his room felt as though it began to chew at his dwindling patience. Would he leave their situation as is? Leave it to rot to the point that it may never be able to be rehabilitated? Would he really do that to himself, to her?

With an overly emphasized growl, Draco threw his bed sheets over his body and swung his legs over the edge of the bed, all a little too fast.

His mind was consumed with a tingling dizziness, leaving him thinking that his last move was a bad idea.

But so was his next.