Harry Potter and all of its characters and settings belong to JK Rowling.
Author's Note: Sorry it's been a while! People keep inserting themselves into the plot that I didn't expect and forcing me to rearrange my plans. I didn't want to risk posting anything that I would have to change later but I'm on page thirty five now and this part hasn't changed in weeks so I think it's safe =)
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Pansy Parkinson was creeping into the Slytherin common room after a long midnight soak in the Prefects' bath when she heard the sound of someone retching. Blaise Zabini was slumped on the floor in front of one of the couches and the air reeked of bile.
"Merlin, Zabini, if you're going to tie one on at least have the decency to-" she broke off as his head shot up and she got a good look at his eyes. They weren't drunk. They were haunted and vacant, as if he'd just watched his soul slide from his body and didn't know if he would ever see it again. He was broken in a way only pure blood Slytherins could ever understand. Pansy had seen that look in her own eyes.
She approached him slowly, it was never wise to startle a vulnerable Slytherin. Sometimes they lashed out and at the moment Blaise Zabini was very much like a panther with a thorn in his paw. She scorgified the floor around him and waited for him to make his move. She would put him down if she had to but she hoped it wouldn't come to that.
"I can't do this any more, Pansy."
"What happened?" She kept her voice low and comforting, he was still on the breaking point.
"Theo happened." he practically spat and she tensed, "Draco happened. The Dark fucking Lord happened."
She gripped her wand and waited, inwardly sighing in relief as she saw his shoulders drop and knew the fight had left him.
"I happened." His voice was hollow and shattered and it pulled at what was left of her own broken soul.
Moving closer she knelt to sit by his side on the floor.
"I might have let him-" he heaved but at this point there was nothing left to come up so she just waited for him to get control. "Theo's gone. He's not keeping up appearances he's well and truly in it. He got drunk and decided it would be great fun to go scare whoever was making the rounds tonight. As soon as I saw it was Granger I knew it was going to go to hell. He had that look in his eyes, you know." She did. They all did. Their fathers all had it. "He disarmed her and I pretended to be pleased but inside I was screaming at her to run. She didn't of course. She just stood there with that Gryffindor tilt to her chin and told him not to do anything stupid and I wanted to shout at her. Didn't she see she was making it worse? Couldn't she tell she was practically daring him to hurt her? And then I felt sick for thinking it. For being angry at her like it was somehow her fault that Theo was a psychopath. Like it was her fault I had to pretend I was one too. When Theo motioned for us to grab her I knew she'd be done for if Crabbe and Goyle got hold of her so I beat them to it. I expected she'd fight and I thought if I could pull her just far enough away and then lose her she'd be able to escape. I didn't expect she'd fight so efficiently. I didn't even get a chance to turn before she took out one of my knees and then dropped from my grasp. She bolted but she was too close to Crabbe and he slammed her into the wall and then they were all over her, holding her up like a sick offering and I couldn't see any way out of it. There was no way she was escaping now so god help me I threw my hands in as well. He meant to rape her right there in the middle of the fucking hallway and I couldn't act. How could I stop him when it meant my mother or one of my sisters meeting the same fate? How could I not stop him when everything in me felt like it was dying at the very thought of it?" He paused and sucked in a breath. "Then Draco showed up all full of possessive rage and all I could feel was relieved that I wouldn't have to choose. He's going to turn Granger into his slave after his marking ceremony and all I could think was how glad I was that I wouldn't have to do it." He shuddered and squeezed his eyes shut. "What the fuck is wrong with me?"
"Nothing." Pansy said fiercely, "Don't you dare blame yourself for wanting to survive this. That might have been your first thought but the fact that you came back here and puked your guts up proves you're just fine. I guarantee you Nott, Crabbe,and Goyle are all sleeping like babies right now. There was nothing else you could have done that wouldn't have gotten you killed and your family made an example of." They sat in silence for a long moment.
"I got her wand back to her," he said suddenly as if he needed someone else to believe he had tried, "I used the arming spell when no one was looking. Draco's not an idiot like Theo so I didn't think he was going to do anything tonight except obliviate her but in case I was wrong I thought she should at least have her wand."
She nodded and silence again settled over them.
"For what it's worth I don't think you would have gone through with it," Pansy sighed, "It would have been stupid and Gryffindor and I would have cursed at your corpse but I think you would have tried to save her."
He didn't smile but some of the darkness lifted from his eyes and he leaned his side into hers. They sat that way for a long while, staring into the fire and trying to forget that the world they lived in was broken.
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The next afternoon found an incredibly perplexed Hermione Granger navigating her way to the dungeons for Potions. Harry and Ron were trailing behind her, having noticed her preoccupied state and leaving her to it after a few failed attempts at engaging her in conversation. Several strange things had happened over the course of the day and she was trying desperately to make sense of them. First, she had woken up this morning with an aching, empty feeling in her chest, as if something vital was missing, something she needed. She'd run a diagnostic spell and had come up with nothing, but the ache would not desist. If anything it had gotten worse as the day progressed. She pressed her fist to her sternum as if to ease it and took a deep breath.
Second, she'd been getting flashes of an image in her mind that she couldn't place. They were hazy and gone so fast the only thing she had been able to get clearly was a pair of grey eyes. Grey eyes filled with a depth of longing that staggered her.
Third, and most alarmingly, was the fact that she was certain that at some point last night she'd been obliviated.
It was incredibly well done and if she hadn't been searching for the cause of the ache in her chest and the eyes that were haunting her she knew she'd never have noticed it. She was sure that she had started her rounds but then she had a recollection of returning to her room and getting in bed that was definitely manufactured. When she examined the memory she found the book that was on her nightstand was not the one she was currently reading but one she'd finished months ago. Someone had taken an old memory and looped it onto last night. Flawlessly.
This was both encouraging and terrifying. While it cut down on the number of suspects, she could think of only a handful here powerful enough to do such a thing, it increased the severity of the cause dramatically. This was not done by some student she'd caught out after hours. Something serious enough to have one of her professors or even the headmaster himself erasing her memory was something she needed to tread carefully around.
She'd told no one of her suspicion. The buried part of her that understood the ache in her chest and knew who those eyes belonged to had balked at the idea of sharing any information about last night, even the fact that she had none, so she'd kept her silence.
As she neared the bottom of the staircase outside the Potions classroom she heard a commotion behind her and she turned just a bit too fast to see what it was. Her heel slid off the step and she felt herself falling. She had just long enough to feel embarrassed by her clumsiness before she braced herself for what she was sure was going to be a very painful landing. But it was a landing that never came. A strong arm wrapped around her waist and pulled her upright allowing her feet to find the floor at the base of the staircase. She looked up to thank her rescuer and got caught in the gaze of an upsettingly familiar set of grey eyes.
A set of grey eyes that was attached to Draco Malfoy.
She couldn't breathe. All she could do was stare up at him, searching for the reason his eyes had been haunting her all day. Luckily he did not seem similarly effected and saved her from embarrassing herself by assuming his customary sneer and setting her abruptly away from him.
"Watch who you're falling on, Mudblood."
That had Harry, who'd just run down the stairs with Ron, jumping into the fray.
"You watch your mouth, Malfoy, or I'll shut it for you."
"I'd like to see you try, Potter."
She was standing between them and was preparing to stop the duel that seemed inevitable when Theodore Nott came around the corner and an unreasonable sensation of fear crawled through her stomach at the sight of him. Her body acted of its own accord, seeking protection, and before her mind had even finished assessing the threat she caught herself halfway through the process of stepping towards... Malfoy?
She stopped mid step, cursing this madness that had her mind and her body at odds and tried to cover the action by pivoting towards Harry and Ron. She needed to regroup, this situation was not something she could process while in the middle of it.
Placing her hand on Harry's chest she applied enough pressure for him to look down at her. "Let it go. Please." She willed him to listen to her and after a tense moment he nodded and started towards the classroom, motioning for Ron to do the same. She sighed with relief and followed them, forcing herself not to look back at Malfoy.
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When he saw her falling he didn't think, he just reacted. In an instant he found himself with an armful of Hermione Granger and not a single inclination to let her go. He set her feet on on the ground but didn't loosen his grip until she looked up at him and a flash of startled recognition passed through her eyes. She was looking at him as if searching for an answer to a question she shouldn't even have and he knew he needed to shut that down right quick. He forced himself to set her away from him and sneer.
"Watch who you're falling on, Mudblood."
He wanted to wince as he got the effect he was seeking and she snapped back into focus. He was about to turn away when Potter made it impossible for him to retreat.
"Watch your mouth, Malfoy, or I'll shut it for you."
Damn him and his interference. Now he was going to have to hex him. "I'd like to see you try, Potter."
He saw Nott coming around the corner right before he saw all the color drain out of Hermione's face. When she made as if to step towards him it was all he could do not to reach out to comfort her. He saw as soon as she realized what she'd been doing and she stopped abruptly, a thoroughly confused look flitting over her features before she turned back towards Potter.
Draco just barely managed to hold onto his growl as he watched her put her hand on Potter's chest. It was only by sheer strength of will that he stopped himself from snatching her up and carting her off to some dark corner where he would show her that he was the only person she should be touching.
He went entirely still as that thought process kicked him in the gut.
He'd been in love with Hermione Granger for years. During that time he'd been forced to watch Krum, McLaggen, and Weasley all bumble about in their efforts to lay claim to her, and while each time he'd seen one of them touch her it had scraped his insides raw, he'd never once felt this possessive certainty. This assurance that she belonged to him and he had every right to the madness that was urging him to prove it.
Hermione Granger was not for him.
He'd known that from the beginning, accepted it long ago. Whatever was currently prowling through him was screaming to the contrary and never in his life had he felt so close to losing control of his actions. Whatever this was it was new.
And it was dangerous.
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