A/N: I do not own twilight. Only the plot belongs to me.
I know I had totally disappeared from the face of the earth for a long while but I had my problems…which I won't discuss and bore you to death…instead I want to tell you your messages and reviews were what finally encouraged me to update! So have fun!
Cropped black hair, slightly tanned skin, strong jaw, well built muscles and dark eyes that were flaring with unbridled fury as they took in my pathetic state. There was no doubt in my mind that the target of the uninhibited rage certainly wasn't me.
"I am going to kill that piece of shit Cullen" My little brother Seth spat out from between his gritted teeth as he seethed at my door with crossed arms and a bag slung over his left shoulder.
Seth was studying mechanical engineering at NYU and rented a small apartment not very far away from my house. But with his stressful studies and part time job at a garage owned by an old couple, he was barely ever able to find time to pay a regular visit. We did, however, spent time on weekends where he worked at the same restaurant as me serving tables for extra money.
I let out an exasperated sigh, so not in the mood to deal with him right now. I just wanted to be left alone for a while. "Seth, what are you doing here?"
"You weren't answering your phone" he clipped in a short angry tone.
"Yeah, and there was a reason I wasn't." I shot back. "I just want to be left alone for awhile"
"I've waited a long time for your "awhile" to end. Now I'm takin' the matters in my hands" he declared and pushed past me into my untidy apartment.
Roaming his eyes on the many photos scattered on the floor of the living room, his jaw got hard and the angry emotion in his eyes transformed into downright abhorrence, but he didn't delay in his journey towards my room by giving me a lecture on being pathetic. I followed him inside my room and watched with astonished eyes as he opened my closet and dug out an old duffle bag from the back and started throwing my clothes randomly into it.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" I shrieked in my slightly inebriated state.
"Gettin' you out of this fuckin' prison" was his terse reply.
"Seth, stop it. I don't want to go anywhere. Just leave me alone, I just –
I stopped mid-sentence as Seth turned full force of his fury towards me.
"No, I'm not leaving you alone and you are not spending even a second shedding tears for that piece of crap. I've had enough. Now, you'll either come with me and let me help you live life again and start afresh, or I'm dragging your ass out of here anyway with you screaming and shouting."
I stared at my brother who was two years younger than me and was still behaving like the older big brother whose assistance I required desperately.
He stared back at me with a hard expression marring his face. "So, what is it going to be big sis? Are you coming with me willingly?" he questioned.
I swallowed the sudden force of tears that choked my throat and nodded sincerely, unable to express any emotion with speech.
His eyes gentled and he took my left hand in his right one and gave it a reassuring squeeze. "It's going to be okay, Bella. I promise. You deserve better than this."
His gentle words were the only thread of hope that tied me to the real world for the next few weeks that I spent with him and my friends assisting me back to health and helping me find my way back to happiness with a totally fresh path. Despite everything that happened to me, I was selfishly grateful that all my friends chose to take my side. I would have completely shattered without their help.
But life always had a way of bombarding you with unpredictable surprises...
I was at a bar, seated on a corner booth with my best friends, Alice and Rosalie, having a girls' night out. It had been 8 and a half months since Seth came to my apartment and dragged me away from hell to a comparatively better world. A lot had changed in these months. No, I'm still not completely over my ex-husband but at least now I was doing a good job at hiding it. I wasn't behaving like a zombie anymore. Nor was I alienating myself from my friends who, I realized, did want what was best for me. Their sympathy, love, care and even bitchy comments directed towards Tanya were all I needed to restart my life again.
I had met the girls after finishing my shift at Reggies – the restaurant I work in, serving customers. That job was still the main source of my income but at least things were improving. I finally found inspiration to get on with the novel that I had began writing ages ago – when Edward and I were still together, and was nearly close to finishing it. Rosalie and Alice had both read my draft and were overwhelmed with my progress and the exciting turn the story had taken. They continuously supported me and reassured me that my publisher would love it. I was waiting for this day to end to finally call my publisher, Victoria, and give her my final copy. If everything goes right, I would be immensely close to achieving my lifelong dream and publishing my own book.
As for Edward…well, things weren't totally appalling but they weren't great either. As it turns out, Tanya was right. I was a barrier between Edward and his successful music carrier because apparently, just after 5 months after our divorce, Edward made it to the top of the charts with his new release. The name of his new music album was Untamed and practically every woman around the globe were driving themselves crazy to get their hands on an album.
It sold billions of copy after just weeks of its release and media was driving themselves in a frenzy to get his personal interview. He was everyone's latest obsession.
Don't get me wrong, I was really happy for him. I even watched all his interviews in his earlier stage of fame. He basically just looked professional and driven during his interviews. Never letting any emotion rather than devotion to his fans, reflect on his face. But his eyes seemed tired and lacked the spark that it once had. I didn't think much of it. It wasn't my place anymore. I wasn't a part of his life. Eventually I gave up watching his interview or even listening to his songs on the radio. Gradually, I shut all things Edward from my life. It didn't help me drain him out of my system but it sure as hell helped me to move on with my life.
Which led me to the present. Having a good banter with my friends and relaxing after a tiring week. This felt good. It was one of the many activities that I had adopted which helped in numbing my mind. It was as close to contentment as I got these days.
"I wanna dance" Alice suddenly announced. I blinked up at her in surprise. Alice's mood swings sometimes gave me a whiplash. A few minutes ago she was whining about Jasper's late hours at work and now she was back to her overly-cheerful self, already bouncing on her heals as if she could project some of her energy towards Rosalie and me.
"I up for it" Rosalie agreed, taking a last sip of her drink and standing up next to Alice.
"Come on Bella! Get up off your lazy bum and help us rock this place." Alice exclaimed.
"No guys. I'm not in the mood right now. Why don't you both go ahead? I'll join you two after a while." I replied.
Alice gave me a disapproving look but knew better than to force me into doing something I wasn't willing. With a defeated sigh she relented – "Fine. But you better be on the dance floor later."
I smiled and nodded and they left me with a quick wave and flying kisses in my direction.
Definitely more than a little drunk.
I was watching them rock the dance floor with their wild moves when suddenly I felt a presence at my side. I looked up to see a tall, well built man with closely cropped, ebony colored hair and violet eyes approach me with a drink in his hand. He was quite attractive and I felt a flutter in my belly that I haven't felt in ages. It was nowhere near as close to the pleasant lurch I felt in my stomach every time I saw Edward even after years of living with him but it still felt good.
He smiled warmly at me and extended his hand. "Hi, my name's Brad. I saw you sitting here from across the bar and finally gathered up the courage to come here and introduce myself" he said in his rich manly voice with a hint of a timid smile curving the edges of his lips.
I returned his smile and took his hand in a firm shake.
"Do you mind if I accompany you for a while?" he asked politely.
"Not at all" I replied after a bit of hesitation. It's been a long time since I had been placed in a situation similar to this. I can't remember a time when there was anyone but Edward sitting on the opposite side of the table from me, smiling at me warmly like Brad was at this particular moment. I didn't want to screw up and let it show how royally messed up I was on the inside.
"Thanks. I appreciate it…" he trailed of pointedly.
"Bella" I filled in the blank for him.
"Bella" he repeated with a smile. "That's an unusually beautiful name."
I automatically blushed at the compliment and gave him a smile. "It's short for Isabella." I explained.
"Well, I like Bella better" he said. "So tell me Bella what brought you here tonight?"
"Just a girls' night out after a hectic week. Best way to take your mind of the crap that life throws at you" I replied and realized I was definitely a little drunk too.
He chuckled. "I know what you're saying. So what made your week hectic?"
And then we started chatting. Minutes changed to hours and we barely noticed. Brad was fun to be with. He was funny and charming and knew how to keep a woman enthralled in a conversation. He worked in construction – the reason for his perfect physique, and came here to spend some time with his friends. "The assholes that left me to dwell alone for the easiest lay they could find". His words not mine.
He told me all about his life and the hilarious stories at his job while I shared a little about my book and the restaurant I worked part time as a waitress. He shocked me by sharing that he had been to that restaurant quite a few times within the last few weeks and had seen me there but never had the courage to ask me out. He said he felt like a stalker but promised that wasn't the only reason he went to that restaurant. He genuinely liked the food there. I laughed and reassured him I didn't think it was stalkerish – even though I was a little flattered but I didn't share that. He relaxed a little after that and freely shared that he couldn't believe his luck when he saw me sitting right across from him tonight and took it as the universe telling him to get his head out of his ass and introduce himself to me. I thought it was very cute.
We were deep in conversation when suddenly there was a loud disturbance at the entry way. We both turned and watched a throng of crowd surrounding the entry way with a few girls screaming with glee and shouts of "Autograph!" and "OhMyGod!" filling the room. I saw the flashes of camera clicking and finally watched as the crowd dispersed – courtesy of the huge security guard shoving people out of the way, and watched with a short, surprised gasp as the two people who seemed to have acquired the attention of the entire bar revealed themselves.
Edward…and…
Tanya.
I felt the bile rise up my throat and took in a deep breath to calm my rapidly beating heart. The bar I was in now was popular but not known to have celebrity visits. I guessed by Edward's lame attempt at hiding behind a tattered baseball cap that it might have been the main reason he chose to come to this bar. He obviously seemed frustrated at being discovered, though how he thought he could go through with the poor attempt to disguise himself as a part of the normal crowd was beyond me. He was trying to hide his aggravated frown behind a forced smile as he apologetically passed his crazy fans that were unlucky enough to not get his autograph and was making his way inside the bar. Tanya on the other hand seemed to be soaking in all the paparazzi and fan circle and smiling widely as she flipped her blonde hair behind her shoulder and put a possessive arm around Edward's.
The bile in my throat became increasingly more difficult to hold back as I saw them make their way inside in a familiar, almost intimate way. I wanted to turn away, I tried to tear my eyes away from the dreadful scene but I couldn't. I was stuck. And all the feelings I tried so hard to bury deep inside me all those months came pouring back.
Edward's head came up and he was scanning for a vacant table when suddenly his eyes hit me.
Time froze.
I watched his expressions relay shock and bewilderment at seeing me there. Then the shock transformed to unbearable pain that flickered through his eyes. Then his eyes caught sight of my companion, Brad, and his expression turned blank. Totally blank. Completely wiped off of every emotion. The only way I even knew that he was a human and not, infact a statue, was when his Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed thickly as if swallowing a bitter medicine.
We both continued to stare not taking our eyes off of each other. Not moving an inch. Trapped in the weird game that life seemed to be constantly playing with us.
His arm jerked and he turned to see Tanya tugging at his arm. She smiled at him sweetly and started dragging him towards a table a little further from Brad and mine. Edward flicked his eyes towards me while going along with Tanya but I immediately looked away.
I wanted to run. I wanted to escape so badly. But I didn't. I didn't want to give Tanya the satisfaction of seeing me hurt like that. And I definitely didn't wanted Edward to have the impression that I cared. I straightened my shoulders and turned my attention completely to Brad, determined beyond anything to not let them ruin my evening. I was going to try to ignore them even if it killed me.
"Wow! Edward Cullen. Who would have thought?" Brad breathed in awe.
I looked at him and arched an eyebrow. "Please tell me you're not going to go beg for his autograph" I said, only half joking.
He laughed and shook his head. "Don't worry sweetheart. No one can be star-strucked enough to ignore the beauty that is sitting next to me."
He smiled flirtily at me. I smiled back at him, pleased that he wasn't a diehard Edward's fan and I won't have to die of embarrassment tonight.
We continued our previous banter and I projected all my energy to ignore the table occupied by Edward and Tanya even though I could feel the intensity of his piercing gaze even at this distance. I didn't turn.
I was immersed in another one of Brad's story about one of his buddy having a lover's tiff with his wife in between the work hours when he said something funny and I couldn't help but throw my head back and laugh.
I heard the shatter of a glass and a girlie shriek and turned to see Tanya rubbing a tissue on her designer dress which was now stained with red liquid and Edward standing to help her, his face carved in stone, his expression unreadable.
"EDWARD! WHAT THE HELL?" Tanya cried, aggravated.
Before I could contemplate the scene before me, a waitress came running by and started wiping the liquid while another waitress picked the pieces of the shattered glass.
I saw Tanya turn towards me and narrow her eyes in a loath-filled glare. I had no idea why Edward dropping his drink had anything to do with me. But then again, this was Tanya. She could make anything wrong in her perfect life about people she didn't like. After glaring at me for a good while, she turned and stormed away towards the washroom at the far back of the bar.
"Hey, would you like to join me for a dance?" Brad requested and my eyes turned to him.
I smiled apologetically at him and said, "Sorry, I'm not in the mood today."
"C'mon, just one dance. I promise you'll have a good time" he pleaded and I bit my lips in contemplation. After a few moments I gave in and let him lead me to the dance floor.
I always lost myself when I danced. It was one of the things Edward used to love about me. I always let the wild side of me take over and let my mind forget for a moment who I was and where I was when I danced. Instead I blanked my mind and moved with the rhythm, dancing to the beats feeling the music.
This time was no different. I moved my limbs and hips to the music, closed my eyes and lost myself in the beat of the song. I felt Brad's arms encircle me from behind and felt his lips kiss and caress me behind my ear. As I lost myself in the music I let my control slip from my mind and imagined they were Edward's arms and his lips instead of Brad's. I knew it was all sorts of wrong but in that moment, it didn't matter. I lifted my own arms and put one on his forearm wrapped possessively around my waist and stretched my other arm behind me to intertwine in his soft hair. I dropped my head back, resting it on his shoulder and enjoyed the little moment in my perfect-Bella fantasy.
Suddenly, I was yanked out of my fantasy and dragged back to the real world when I heard a voice say firmly from beside me –
"Do you mind if I cut in?"
I opened my eyes in astonishment and saw Edward standing there, his arms already reaching out for me.
"I'm not sure – " Brad began but Edward didn't pay any attention to him. He pulled me in his arms and twirled-dragged me across the dance floor, away from Brad.
I was too shell-shocked to even contemplate his behavior. I couldn't believe this was happening.
When he had me in a secure little corner on the dance floor, he turned me to face him and locked his arms around me. He dragged me towards him and just held me for awhile, taking a deep breath, as if it was the first breath he had taken in ages. Slowly and slowly, he started swaying with the music, bringing my body closer in the process. Close. Too close.
I broke through my shocked haze and put my arms on his shoulder, applying pressure to push him back.
When he didn't budge, I increased the pressure and stated in a warning tone, "Edward…"
"Please" he cut me off with his urgent, almost desperate whisper. He closed his eyes shut tightly and pulled me even closer to him so that my front was plastered to his muscled chest. He rested his forehead against mine and repeated on a pleading whisper – "Please"
I froze in absolute shock at the pain and loneliness I heard in his voice. His expression was molded in one of extreme anguish and his hold on me was suffocatingly tight. It was the hold of a drowning man holding on the last straw to prevent himself from sinking.
"Edward" I whispered, the pull of my hands on his shoulders vanishing.
Before Edward could react, a lanky teenage boy flashed his camera at us and I blinked at the sudden intrusion.
"Man! This is going to earn me good money!" the boy shouted with glee.
I saw Edward's body turn to ice as his eyes cut to the boy in front of us. His expression was fierce and his voice cold when he demanded, "Give me the camera"
"What, are you crazy? No way dude!" he replied.
Edward clenched his teeth in an obvious attempt to stop himself from harming the boy and said, "I'll pay you twice the amount you'll otherwise get on that snap. She had nothing to do with this. Leave her out. You can click as many photos of me as you want, no one will stop you and I won't protest. Just delete the photo you clicked of her."
The boy contemplated this offer for a while then replied, "Nah! I'm gonna keep this. Sorry, dude!" and with that he disappeared out of the bar, practically running away.
Edward let out an aggravated breath and turned apologetically to me.
"I'm sorry, Bella…I didn't mean – " he started but I cut him off.
"Don't! Please Edward just…just don't"
Then I turned and half walked half ran towards my table where Rosalie and Alice were already standing with my purse and jacket, their faces filled with anxiousness.
"I'm so sorry, Bella. I had no idea – " Alice began but again I interrupted.
"No need to apologize, Alice. You couldn't have known. Let's just get out of here"
With that we made our way out of the bar and in the taxi that was thankfully there when we came out and drove away. Away from Brad, away from Tanya, away from another drama…and away from Edward. Except this time…it was me who left him.
A/N: PLEASE REVIEW!