Saccharine Torments
Chapter 3: Into Action
Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin and I make no money from this fic!
Some not too explicit dream!sex in this one, so I'd suggest skipping the first part of this chapter if that's a problem to read. I'm raising the rating of this fic to M, anyways.
Gwen's eyes widen, unsure as to what Morgana will do next, the previous dreams hadn't exactly been pleasant- what could deliberate punishment from her be like?
"Morgana, can't we stop this? It's not too late."
"How are you going to stop me?"
There was no answer for that she could give.
"So it's decided then."
Morgana leans in and kisses Gwen. For punishment it is surprisingly soft. Gwen returns the kiss but doesn't deepen it, she's following Morgana's lead here because this isn't really her dream after all; it's Morgana's. Her skin feels like it's all aflame; she's melting like wax under her painfully gentle touch. She's always accepted all the love that she was given but she didn't even know that this was love that Morgana was expressing.
Morgana's eyes are bright, shining and Gwen wonders what sort of enchantment this might be, was this magick? If it was then she could almost understand Morgana's use of it, it felt like so beautiful, like nothing else.
"You are mine." Morgana's voice is full of hard edges. It sounds wrong in this world of soft blurred colours and perfumed sensation.
"I belong to myself," Gwen murmurs, instinctively.
Morgana shook her head. "That's the problem Gwen; you've always been someone else's girl. Your heart turned away from me, for a while, but I have you now. My dear brother thinks he has you but I'll never allow that to happen. He doesn't deserve you."
It is Gwen's turn to shake her head because she knows that not to be true; Arthur is a great man who is growing into a great King- most would say it was her, a mere servant girl, who was not enough for him.
Morgana toys with Gwen's hair, fondly, absently and it strikes Gwen that Morgana's cruelty is so childish, unformed, lacking in any real menace. It didn't make her any less frightening, in fact, it just made everything worse. Because Gwen knew Morgana before she became like this, she wasn't just some evil sorceress bent on destroying Camelot; she was the Lady Morgana, the woman who had risked everything for a young druid boy, who had stood up to injustice, who had held Gwen when her father had died.
How had Morgana got to this point? Gwen didn't know, she hadn't seen the sign until it was too late. No, if anything it was worse, because Gwen felt frightened for her, when she should have felt more frightened for herself.
She gasps as she feels Morgana's hands; creeping their way underneath her skirts, stroking her thigh, nails scraping the skin lightly, moving upwards. A small voice, like a white light, in the back of her mind was telling her that this needed to stop but it was only a very small objection that got lost in a swirl of colour.
She could still feel Morgana's fingers inside her when she woke.
In the cold light of day, she just felt conflicted and confused about the whole affair. She eyed at the empty bottle resting on the stand by her bed. Well that hadn't worked. She just didn't know what to do now and she couldn't just leave it, she didn't know how she was going to face Arthur today.
But she had to get up; she didn't want to draw attention to herself, as having a day off would surely do. She managed to avoid speaking to Arthur for too long, in fact the day passed quickly- it didn't feel real, her dreams felt like true reality, not like this pale world.
She laid her head on her pillow, pensively, wondering what she could be in store for that night.
She looks around, completely aware now that this is a dream; she hopes that the knowledge will help her to stay in control, to change the situation. She's in a hallway, full of mirrors, light beams everywhere. She turns around and of course the way back is shut to her.
She walks down the corridor because there's no where else to go, she has no choice but to move, because staying behind is no choice at all. She walks to the end to find that there are two paths now; one to the left, one to the right. Both are covered in mirrors, identical. Gwen pauses and takes the left, following the winding path until she reaches another junction. Her pace quickens and finds herself making decision after decision; she's in some sort of maze she realises.
She sees a faint shadow up ahead of her, flitting round the corner, deeper into the labyrinth.
She follows dutifully, never quite catching up.
"Morgana? Is that you?"
Silence. A shadow does not speak.
"I don't want to play games anymore."
She doesn't stop though and maybe she should. She feels like she's been chasing her forever, there seems to be no end to this path they are on.
She sees a glimmer of fire reflected in the mirror and that spurs her on. She marches forward, coming eventually to the heart of what had seemed like an eternal puzzle. There's no sign of the shadow now and Gwen wonders whether it's still wandering around, trying to escape this trap.
At the very centre there's a stone table and a cup- a silver goblet. Her steps are slow as she walks up towards it; she half expects something to grab at her, for Morgana to appear- imperial as ever.
She reaches out, tentatively, and takes the cup in both her hands. It's halfway filled with water and she can see her own blurred reflection. She brings the cup to her lips, allowing the water to lap up against them before drinking deeply of it.
It was like no water she had ever tasted, it was delicious and it seemed to quench a thirst deep inside. But the aftertaste was bitter.
"Come find me," a whisper startles her and she drops the cup, the water spilling onto the ground.
She bolts awake, her heart pounding, breath heavy. She knew what she must do now. Even now she could feel Morgana calling to her and she knew that she would know where to find her if she looked.
"This is crazy, Gwen," she told herself, trying to talk herself out of it, but talking to yourself was hardly the mark of sanity either.
She'd made up her mind or Morgana had made it up for her. She was leaving Camelot. Tonight.
She started to pack her things, hastily, getting everything ready so she could relax a little. She was going to have to go through the day like nothing was wrong, there was no way she could tell Arthur where she was going, there was no way he'd let her- the whole thing seemed ludicrous even to her. She didn't even really know where she was going- she could just feel it, like a golden thread pulling her towards her destination. A spell of some sort she supposed.
No, she couldn't tell anyone.
That's it for this chapter; hope you all enjoyed it! And in case I don't update before then, Merry Christmas/Winter Solstice and a Happy New Year! Please review!