Kurt and Blaine held each other tightly as they opened the doors of the McKinley auditorium, when they were tackled-hugged by Tina, Mercedes, and Sugar.
"White boy, I haven't seen you since you married all kinds of hotness. How the heck are you?" Mercedes said.
"Fine, 'Cedes. It's been perfect actually because we're gonna be parents soon!" Kurt exclaimed, making the girls squeal.
"Boy or girl?" Sugar asked.
"She'll have a very unique name," Blaine teased.
"What is it?" Tina looked anxious.
"You'll hear when we get her," Kurt said mysteriously.
"Gay sharks!" a voice yelled. Kurt and Blaine spun around and Brittany hugged them.
"Britt, did you fulfill that promise we made?" Kurt asked, raising his eyebrows.
"Yes, Kurt, I did, and here she is, my wife!" Santana entered the room wearing the same red dress from junior prom.
"Satan, get over here!" Kurt called. The two laughed in the embrace. "Damn it, you are smokin', if not any more than you were ten years ago."
"Got that right, Porcelain," she smirked, and then she suddenly started cackling. "Look who it is!" She pointed at the door where Sam was standing, wearing his Na'vi ears and looking embarrassed.
"Dude, Sam, even at twenty-eight, you had to wear those, and not only that, you have the Bieber hair," Finn remarked, walking over, hand-in-hand with Rachel.
"Wasn't Justin Bieber murdered some time ago?" Mike asked, coming up behind Tina.
"Yeah, seven years ago, and by a guy we know," Artie interjected. "Remember Joel, that weird kid who ended up marrying Sebastian or Warren or whatever his name was? He did it."
"Wait, Joel killed Justin Bieber?" Sam looked surprised.
"Yeah, I saved the headline from 2015. Here, look." Artie pulled out his iPhone and opened a document before handing it to Sam, who read it out loud.
"Teenage pop sensation Justin Drew Bieber was found dead on the night of March 1, 2015, his 21st birthday. Cause of death was found to have been the spiking of his celebratory shot with rat poison. The defendant was identified as 23-year-old Ohio-born film critic Joel William Richardson, who was reported to have 'had it in' for Bieber 'since day one'. The day following Bieber's death, Scott Samuel Braun, better known as Scooter Braun, Bieber's manager, was found dead in his apartment from multiple stab wounds. The case remains open on whether Richardson committed the Braun murder.
Upon learning of Richardson's incarceration, Warren Damien Rhodes, Richardson's husband, was not at all surprised by his actions. 'Joel made countless comments about how he'd like to do Justin Bieber in,' Rhodes said. 'Not many people know this, but Joel actually killed someone by gunshot in our senior year. I knew he was capable of murder, but a lot of the time, it seemed like it was one of his jokes.'
Rhodes was last seen in California with Richardson, who was in the planning stages of writing a memoir. Richardson received 15 years in the California State Prison, Los Angeles County."
"Oh my God, I figured he was crazy seeing as how he pulled a gun on a lot of people, but I never pegged him as a murderer," Blaine said.
"Hey, where's Puck?" Tina asked out of the blue.
"Heard he's bailing his daughter out of jail; Beth pulled the same stunt he did eleven years ago. She drove his car into a convenience store and took off with the ATM," a new voice said. Everyone turned and stepped back in revulsion. It was Jacob Ben Israel, who, at 27 years old, looked even creepier than he was in high school.
"What are you doing here? You didn't graduate the same year as us," Rachel said, looking haughty. "And take your pervy eyes off of me. Can't you see I'm married?" She held up her right hand, flashing the ring.
"I don't even know how he's here. For God's sake, there are children here," Mercedes said, nodding over to two preteen-looking girls chatting at a table. "That's right, Jewfro, we know you went to jail for child pornography."
"I was framed," Jacob said defensively.
"Bullshit," Santana muttered.
"Unholy Trinity, at ease!" a loud voice shouted. Brittany and Santana turned and shrieked at seeing Quinn. "Girls, get over here and hug me!"
"Q, are you going to introduce me to your friends?" Gary asked.
"Oh sorry, honey. Guys, this is my fiancé, Gary. Honey, this is Brittany and Santana," Quinn blushed once she had unattached Brittany.
"Ah, yes, Brittany and Santana. I've heard stories about you two." Gary smiled.
"Hope they were horror stories. I was the queen of bitchdom around here," Santana said.
"Quinn's told me of all of you. Let me see if I can put the pieces together." Gary looked over at everyone else. "This young couple is Kurt and Blaine, the gay power couple. And this must be Finn, Q's first love, and Rachel Berry, whom I know as I saw her onstage in "Evita" about two years ago." Rachel blanched at this. "Tina and Mike, Quinn called you guys 'Asian awesomeness'."
"Good day to ya, everybody," a new voice said. It was Rory, who, by this time, had curly hair. His face turned stony for a second when he spotted Sugar and Artie, and then he hugged everyone.
"This is going to be the best night ever!" someone yelled and everyone cheered.
"Hello, everybody," an unfortunately familiar voice said, silencing the crowd. Everyone turned to the door.
"Oh my God," Rachel muttered as the figure walked through the parting crowd.
"It can't be…," Kurt whispered, holding onto Blaine.
"That's right, everyone. It's me," the figure said once reached the stage. The black ski mask came off to reveal a long-haired blonde with rugged features. "Sebastian Smythe."