Disclaimer: Let me spell it for you… I d-o-n-'t o-w-n T-M-N-T. 's-i-g-h'

The Price of Pepperoni

It's Just the Beginning

Day 2

Log Entry 3

Please excuse me for my delayed update to my logbook. I found myself occupied with much less pleasant things. After watching Michelangelo scarfing down a disgusting amount of pizza for breakfast, and then finding myself part of the audience again at lunch and a repeated encore performance at dinner, I unfortunately found myself spending a large amount of time becoming better acquainted with an old white porcelain friend for the latter part of the evening. My brothers did not fail to mention that they were irked by the sounds of me retching.

The experiment is fully underway, and I would like to have Mikey do another weigh in at the end of the week. Later this afternoon, Leo and I plan to make some predictions as to which direction my theory is heading in…though I do believe we both know what the results will be.

Raphael has never been more entertained or cheerful in his life. It's quite frightening really. He always has a smile on his face and thoroughly enjoys watching Mikey blatantly clogging his arteries. He's even started to…dare I write it? It hardly seems plausible…getting along with Leo. I know, I know. But my eyes don't lie. You'll just have to take my word for it. They've found some common ground for the time being. Raph encourages Mike endlessly, while Leo wholeheartedly protests the less than nutritious diet his little brother has taken on. While I personally guessed that they would be arguing, they seem to each have a strange understanding. Perhaps it's because they are both trying to help me. I haven't a clue.

This very morning, after Mikey's fourth meal of only pizza, I began writing down the ingredients my orange clad brother fancies upon his cheesy pies.

Thus far, his toppings have included:

Sausage

Olives

Green peppers

Mushrooms

I have no doubt that the list will continue to grow, and the type of topping will surely vary and become stranger than I can imagine.

To give you an idea of what these typical meals are becoming like, I will describe one to you in detail. Hence I present, the events of this morning on Day Two.

It started off well enough; we all rose at an early hour to gather for morning training. Leo instructed for us to line up, but Mikey graciously reminded his elder brother that he is exempt from training for the next thirty days. Begrudgingly, Leo muttered and turned to wait for Master Splinter.

Surprisingly, sensei was late to the dojo—something that had yet to occur in our young teenage lives. He seemingly dragged himself from his quarters as his ears drooped wearily and a tail hung lifeless behind him. I pondered upon the fatigued appearance of our ninjitsu master, and then I noticed the dark circles under his eyes, which only contributed to his less than attentive state.

With a slight yawn hidden behind a paw, Master Splinter just shrugged as Leo protested Mikey not being a part of practice while Raph and I once again reminded him that he had agreed to this project already. And so, our morning exercises began.

Splinter was clearly not present in mind during our practice, as I observed his eyes occasionally darting towards the television sets when it hit me. When I had been…er, busy in the bathroom the previous evening, I vaguely recalled hearing the soft sounds of the television into the late hours. Tsk. Master Splinter must have been up late watching satellite television…another courtesy I had placed upon our entertainment system for sensei so he would allow my experiment to take place.

Quickly dismissing us and making a beeline for the couch, we were left dumbstruck and abandoned in the dojo in a matter of seconds by Splinter. After looking at my brothers with a questioning look, we all shook our heads and made our way to the kitchen. Excitedly, Mikey jumped up from his place on the floor where he had been absently perusing through a comic during practice and sprinted for the meal that awaited him.

Raphael ran after him, shouting at me to tell him where the camera was so he wouldn't miss a moment of the "action". Leo walked on ahead as I grabbed some charts from my desk.

As I entered the kitchen, the horror of another episode of "Mikey and the Disappearing Pizza" reared its ugly head…I silently wondered what I had gotten myself into.