Chapter 2
Epic Final Battle….Well, Almost
Fortunately for him, the monster was sleeping. So Waddle Dee decided to quietly sneak past.
Now in order to write a good story, the main character has to endure a problem. You can't write a story about a baker who bakes some bread. To make it a good story, you have to add a problem, such as the baker is missing some ingredients. Which is exactly why I'm writing the next paragraph.
Waddle Dee tiptoed past the snoring monster. All of a sudden, he tripped on a bump on the ground. Of course, this made a noise. Now do you think that the monster stayed asleep? If you do, then you know very little about monsters. Monsters are usually very light sleepers. So of course the monster woke up.
"Uh… hello there," said Waddle Dee.
The monster looked quizzically at the small brown blob with hands and feet that stood beneath him.
"Listen, let's be friends. Then maybe you won't have to destroy me?" Waddle Dee pleaded.
Nobody knows why the monster's disposition took a turn for the worse. Maybe Waddle Dee said the wrong word. Maybe it was because Waddle Dee never brushed his teeth that morning. But regardless of the reason, the monster became enraged.
The monster let out an ear-splitting roar. Now irritated monsters are never a good thing. Fortunately, Waddle Dees don't have any ears so they were not split. Even Waddle Dee knew an infuriated monster was not a good thing.
"Uh oh," he said as the monster came closer. All of a sudden, Kirby appeared. With a well-timed sword swipe, he sent the monster packing.
"Aww, why'd you have to do that?" complained Waddle Dee. "I could have defeated him myself."
"I really didn't want to see you get slaughtered. Good grief, you don't even have a weapon. You wouldn't have stood a chance against him," Kirby told Waddle Dee.
"I left my parasol at home," Waddle Dee explained.
The two came to the end of the hall. The next room was blocked off by a large wooden door.
Waddle Dee tried to open it. "It's locked," he declared.
"Not surprising. King Dedede's relatively stupid, but he's not a complete idiot," Kirby told his friend. "But you forget that we have a sword. Step aside."
Kirby took a swing at the door. It shattered into thousands of pieces like all destructible video game objects do. "Most wooden doors aren't very sturdy," Kirby told his friend.
The two walked through the door to find King Dedede happily eating an oversized watermelon. No, watermelons are too healthy. How about a stack of cookies? Yes, cookies it is. Anyway, King Dedede noticed that Kirby had entered the room.
"Oh dear, Kirby's here. I wasn't expecting to see you so soon," King Dedede said.
Kirby had spied the cookies. He knew he shouldn't. But before you could say "Happy Snappy" Kirby had inhaled the cookies (although I have no idea why you would want to say "Happy Snappy" anyway).
"No!" King Dedede cried. "Not my super-size double ultra-chocolate chip cookies!"
"So now what are we supposed to do? Are we going to have an epic final battle or something?" asked Waddle Dee.
"We could just take the Star Rod," Kirby mused. "It's sitting right over there." Kirby walked over and grabbed the glowing object while King Dedede stared stupidly.
All of a sudden King Dedede came up with a strategic battle plan. Well, it actually wasn't too strategic. But it was a plan nonetheless.
"Guards! Get Kirby and that brown piece of fuzz standing next to him!" King Dedede screamed at the top of his lungs.
"What do you mean, piece of fuzz?" Waddle Dee said angrily.
"Let's get out of here!" Kirby said and made a break for the door. Unfortunately, six Blade Knights cut him off (pun intended) by blocking the only exit. Still possessing the sword ability, he swung the sword at his enemies with great strength and accuracy. (He used the flat end of his sword, of course. This is a kids' story after all.) With another sword swipe, all of the Blade Knights were knocked to the floor.
Kirby and Waddle Dee stepped over the limp bodies and continued down the hall. After a few more ambushes and a few more swipes, the two exited the castle. Only a few seconds after they left, an army of at least three hundred mindless Blade Knights marched out of the castle toward our heroes. No, make that hero. Waddle Dee isn't really a hero.
"Uh…Kirby…look behind you…" Waddle Dee stuttered as he tugged on Kirby's hand.
Kirby looked. "Holy pig! Even I can't take them all out," Kirby said.
"No, it's 'Holy Cow'," Waddle Dee corrected.
"Whatever," Kirby said. "Anyway, they're getting closer!" Suddenly Kirby had an idea. It was a long shot, but he had to give it a try.
"Waddle Dee, what do you have in your inventory?" Kirby shouted.
"My what?" Waddle Dee asked.
"Inventory. You know… the screen that you can pull items out of?" Kirby said.
"Oh… let's see," Waddle Dee said. Waddle Dee pulled out a piece of gum from seemingly nowhere. (Don't you love how video game characters can do that?) "There's a piece of gum, a star-shaped piece of cereal, a rocket that says "Do Not Give to Children", and a box of matches."
"Waddle Dee, you're a life saver," Kirby told him as he stole the cereal piece from Waddle Dee. He wrapped the piece of gum around the cereal and pulled on the gum until it had stretched out to about the size of Kirby. Since it was wrapped around a star-shaped piece of cereal, the stretched-out gum looked somewhat like a star. Next he fastened the rocket to the makeshift Warpstar.
"Climb on!" Kirby shouted. Kirby grabbed a match and lit the rocket's fuse. In a few seconds, the two were shooting away from the bewildered Blade Knights. Upon seeing their enemy escape, the Blade Knights marched robotically back into the castle.
Back inside the castle, three of the Blade Knights had entered King Dedede's throne room to tell him the bad news.
"He escaped?" King Dedede thundered. One of the Blade Knights nodded his head (or whatever they have) grimly.
King Dedede grabbed his hammer and whacked one of the Blade Knights into another. The Blade Knights then exited the room to avoid more of the King's wrath. Once the Blade Knights had left, King Dedede began to lament.
"I just can't win," King Dedede wailed as he mashed his fists into a nearby table. Only then did he remember why he had stolen the Star Rod in the first place. But before he could start talking to himself again, Escargoon burst in.
"How dare you blast in here without my consent!" King Dedede said while whacking him with his hammer.
"But sir, you see…Dark Kirby's here," Escargoon told the King while rubbing his head.
Suddenly the King stood still. He started to tremble.
"What's wrong, King? Having a nervous breakdown?" Escargoon sneered.
"Uh…I lost it…" the King gulped.
"You lost what? Your Teddy Bear?" Escargoon scoffed.
Before the King could even grab his hammer, the door opened. A shadowy figure entered the room. "Do you have it?" he asked.
"Uh…not really," King Dedede shuddered.
The evil clone was obviously angry. "You…you…" he stuttered as he tried to think of a fitting name to call the obese penguin. After a few minutes he had decided on a suitable name. "You…nincompoop!" he shouted. He pressed his hands together. "I have no idea why I trusted you to get the Star Rod in the first place. You probably don't even realize the power it possesses," the creature shot back at the King. "Anyway, I must be leaving. I really do not have time to talk to fools." And with that he exited the room.