November 3, 2013

"Ray, wait, maybe we should talk about it before you go there. You're angry and not thinking straight."

"He knew her, Deacon. He lied to me all these years, I need to talk to him now." She's on the verge of tears again.

"I'll drive you there," he says, grabbing the keys from her hand.

He has barely stopped the car, but she is already opening the passenger door and walking towards Watty's house. He chases after her. She rings the doorbell and they both wait in silence until Watty appears.

"I need to talk to you," she urges before he can say anything. He gestures for them to come in and leads them to the living room.

"What's wrong?" Watty asks, sitting in a chair while they sit on the couch across.

"It's been two months since Dad died, and Tandy and I have started cleaning his house."

Deacon can see Watty tense at Rayna's words.

"I found this." She reaches for her jacket's pocket and takes a folded piece of paper out of it. "It's called I'll Remember How You Loved Me. It says Written by Virginia Jaymes & Watty White."

Watty leans forwards and rests his forearms on his thighs. Rayna is looking at him.

"You knew my mom?"

"Rayna—"

"Did you know her?"

"I did."

"When? Before she married Dad?"

"No."

When she speaks again, it comes out as not much more than a whisper. "You were... having an affair?"

"I loved her, Rayna."

Deacon is watching his wife and can only start to guess what's going through her mind. Her fingers are playing with the piece of paper in her hands, but her stare never leaves Watty's.

"Is this why you helped me?"

"No, Rayna. You were astonishingly talented. I thought you had this unique gift, and life proved me right."

"I want to know." She stops before she adds, "Everything."

And so Watty tells her how he and her mom met. It was two years before Rayna was born. She was singing in a little bar one evening while Lamar was away on business and Tandy was being watched by her sister. He was immediately drawn to her. When her set ended, he went to talk to her and they had a drink. He wasn't the kind of man to go after married women. She wasn't the kind of woman to cheat. But they both knew something had happened between them that evening. He gave her his number and told her that if she ever wanted to write with him...

"How much time did it last?"

"Until her death."

"Watty..." She's fighting tears. "Why didn't she leave my dad?"

"With the kind of influence your dad had, he might have kept her away from you and Tandy. So that was never ever going to be an option for her. After she learned she was pregnant with you, she told me we had to stop seeing each other. And we did. It only lasted until a few months after you were born."

She wants to ask him, but she can't bring herself to say the words.

"Was she sure... Was there a chance you..."

"She told me it was Lamar. I was never sure about that, but it didn't matter anyway." He pauses. "As I told you, it was never going to be an option."

"My dad knew about you?"

"Virginia and I never actually talked about it. I mean, we never said the words aloud. But he had to know, I don't see how he wouldn't have known. There was some unspoken agreement between your mom and I that we didn't talk about Lamar. I guess your mom and Lamar had the same agreement about me. He never left her."

Deacon glances at Rayna in the passenger seat. Her head is leaned back and she's staring outside. She hasn't said a word since they left Watty's house ten minutes ago.

"Talk to me, baby."

"It makes sense now. Everything with my dad, it finally makes sense. Why he acted with me the way he did. Why he kicked me out when Watty started to help me. Why he never supported my career. It feels like we've wasted all this time, and now that I know why, he's gone. We'll never have a chance to talk about it."

"He's the only one to blame for that. He's been resenting you for things that you were not responsible for."

"I know. I just wish he would have told me. That Watty would have told me. Hell, Deacon... Watty lied to me every day of these last 26 years." She pauses. "And my mom..."

This is the moment her voice breaks, and when Deacon looks at her, she's trying to wipe the tears away. He reaches for her hand and laces his fingers with hers.

"This changes nothing to the relationship you had with your mom, baby. You hear me? Nothing."

"I have so many more questions, but for now, I'm too furious." This time, it's her turn to look at him. "I need to know. There's a chance he's the girls' grandfather, Deacon. We need to know."