Things to note:
1) I'm not really pro-Sam (they kinda made her annoying as they tend to do with characters), but she worked well with the piece.
2) I'm definitely not anti-Jason (but well, I am anti Liz and Jason, so he's kinda been annoying me :-P), however I want the piece to fit with the tone of the show for the next few weeks. I know Jason will be exonerated because well…He always is.
3) Sean K. is AJ because well, he's AJ. :-P AJ was also a Mama's boy, I felt like returning to that.
4) Actual ramblings regarding the current storyline will be posted in the short chapter of "Sanctuary" which will be going up shortly (I was going to post a longer last chapter, but well, I figured folks would get cranky if I post this and didn't update that, so last chapter has been split into two).
The Path to…
Return
She wasn't quite sure why she was in the cemetery just before five, as dusk had begun to overtake the grounds, leaving a sorrowful end to the day. Entering a night which she knew would feel never-ending.
After everything though, she needed to be close to her baby.
Needed to tell her Cameron and Jake would never replace her.
Needed to tell her, she didn't know what had gone wrong with the man who loved her like a father. No idea how it had spiraled so far so fast.
Needed to promise her that despite everything she knew Alexis thought, she wasn't going to screw this up with Lucky and his boys.
She would be perfect.
She would keep them safe, love them and it would be returned.
She needed to tell her that if she could go back and change it all so that they were still a family and had a future she would. But she couldn't…
So she was living, surviving until they could be together again.
She needed to tell her.
-x-x-X-x-x-
At first glance as she approached Emily's grave with the single flower she had saved from her daughter's bouquet, reverently held between her fingers, she thought the lone figure was her cousin grieving over his beloved's grave.
But as she drew closer that figure on his knees as if brought down by the sight of the freshly installed tombstone, so still…
"AJ?" she whispered, the cemetery, the approaching night, and the ghost before her, all ensured it was just a hushed question and nothing more.
He turned with a vacant expression in his eyes, his mouth open, "It can't be true." His head swung back to his sister's name engraved on the slab of stone. "It said I was, but I'm not dead so she can't be dead."
That was when Sam noticed the brown paper bag poorly concealing a bottle of vodka resting in his hand.
"She can't be dead," his head shook at the tombstone.
"I'm sorry," she automatically replied despite knowing she should be running and calling Jason despite everything, Michael deserved better.
His head shook and his eyes closed, "She isn't dead. I'm not dead so she isn't dead. You see your own grave in a nightmare…Christmas Carol right?" He turned to look back at her, "I'm having a midlife crisis, holiday induced insanity? I should reform, ask forgiveness." His eyes closed and his head swung back to his sister's grave, unable to stay away from it, "It's my guilty conscience. Give back the money, ask them to throw me in jail for Jason, Courtney…Everything else," his eyes opened again slowly. "This can't be real," he whispered in an awed tone, it just couldn't be.
"I'm sorry," she repeated.
"No," he head slowly shook, "I couldn't have killed my sister too."
"What do you mean?" the hair on her arms stood tall in fear.
He turned back, emotion starting to show in his face, "The paper said it was mob related…I did this," his head shook in despair. "I killed my sister by killing my brother."
He looked up at her in complete desperation. "I should have stopped him, I could have stopped this. I shouldn't have let him bring that into our family, I shouldn't have let Em…" he starting gasping for air before dropping the bottle out of his fingers and raising his hands to his face.
Sam automatically rushed forward and dropped to her knees, placing a hand on the side of his arm.
He looked up with bloodshot eyes, "My actions not theirs. They shouldn't have…I'm fine. I always…I'm always fine…And they…"
Her mouth opened to speak, but nothing came out.
"I killed my sister," he repeated.
"Anthony Zacchara killed Emily," she stated the facts.
"Because of Jason, I created Jason. I killed them both."
"I should call…" Emily. She should be calling Emily. Sensible Emily, who would be able to talk Jason into not killing AJ.
"But I'm not dead," he glanced in the direction of two stones away, just past his father's to his, "I'm not…So she…" he looked back to Sam in desperation, ready to beg for her to agree with him.
"I was there," she told him. "This isn't a dream," her hand touched the side of his cheek amazed she'd never noticed how much he and Jason looked alike.
"She can't be-"
"She is and it's horrible," she held his eyes and his gaze with her own.
"But I'm…"
Her lips twitched up in a brief moment of confusion, "Don't have an answer for you on that one since a lot of people saw you dead."
"Are you dead?" he asked still trying to understand it all.
"I hope not," and oddly enough that was the truth.
"Sam right?" he finally realized he hadn't acknowledged her, wasn't entirely sure he remembered her name, "Jax's girlfriend, the Bren-" he stopped himself before he said 'the Brenda look alike.'
"I was," she was thrown off by the question and looked down at the bottle, its contents now soaking the ground. "How much did you drink?"
He looked down at the bottle in confusion, "Not a…" his head tilted at it, "Maybe…I think I forgot it was there," he let out a chuckle, "that's a first."
"I'll bet," she nodded. "Look we should get you home to your family."
He stared blankly at her.
"I'm not about to leave you out here-" unattended with Michael already under the threat of another crazy man.
"I'm responsible for her death," he repeated to the stone wall, albeit a pretty stone wall.
"It's them or Jason," she set it out bluntly for him, wondering if she should call Lucky instead.
He just looked at her with empty, yet defeated eyes, "I could run."
"I could call Jason."
"Point taken," he nodded. He turned back to the gravestone, "I don't know how to say goodbye to her."
"Then don't," she told him, "not yet."
"I'll never get to say any of it to her though. I told her when we thought she shouldn't make it-" his eyes clenched, "she survived cancer twice."
"I know, she was strong and stubborn," Sam smiled.
"She had so much life to live," he once more spoke in wonder, how could that just be over? How could she just be over so completely?
"Come on," she said standing, "when was the last time you slept?" she asked as she grabbed his arm as he started to sway as he tried to stand.
"I tried, every time I closed my eyes," his eyes swayed back to the tombstone. "Did she suffer?"
"I don…" she stopped her denial as he turned to her, "she was strangled."
"She was awake? She knew what was happening?" his head shook for that and he started walking.
-x-x-X-x-x-
"I changed my mind," he said as her car pulled to a stop in front of the mansion, "call Jason."
She turned off the car and looked over at him with un-amused eyes, "Are you serious?"
"He kills me, I kill him either way it's over," he'd resolutely decided.
"Get out of the car," she ordered.
"Take me to Jason."
"They're going to lock you up in Ferncliff," then her eyes narrowed and her voice grew in strength, "actually they should have done that awhile ago."
"Fine I'll walk," he went to open the door, his actions were slow due to sleep deprivation and she slammed the lock button.
He shot a look over at her before rolled his eyes holding the lock open as he opened the door. She quickly followed him out of the car yelling his name, glancing between him and the Quartermaine's door, by the time she could get one of them, he'd be gone. She crushed the never used panic button on her keys between her fingers.
"What the hell?" he yelled turning, covering his ears.
"Don't you dare, I drive your sorry ass all the way over here instead of taking you to Jason or the cops-" she was yelling back as the front door opened.
"What the hell is going on out here?" Ned bellowed. "Sam," he said as he saw her, he followed her line of sight; "AJ?" his voice dropped several decibels.
"I'll find him myself," AJ ignored Ned and told Sam over the noise before he took off again.
Ned looked blankly as AJ strode off, too stunned to react.
Her eyes widened in shock at just how useless this family could be.
"Ned what's going on out here?" Monica's weary yell over the car alarm stopped everyone in their actions. Sam turned off the alarm instantly. "Sam, if you're here to defend Jason," Monica said joining Ned on the low landing of the entryway.
"Mom," AJ whispered as he too had turned to face the grieving mother, unable to keep walking away from that voice.
"AJ?" blue eyes showed their confusion.
He started to crumple, she was safe with her he was safe; loved and protected. "She can't be dead," he told her. "A sick scheme of Grandfather's to get back the money…" she would tell him, Sam might not, but she would. "She can't be dead Mom," the gasping breaths returned, his mind and body unable to deal with the strain of having been up almost two days straight and finding out his sister was dead.
"Oh sweetheart," she said rushing towards him.
"Please tell me she isn't dead," he said as he crumpled into her sobbing. "Please Mom, please tell me-"
"Shh," she soothed into his hair as she stroked it with one hand.
"Mom, I-" he cried again.
"I don't think he's been drinking, at least not much," Sam told Ned as he looked over at her still in shock, "I found him at Emily's grave; I don't know how long he was sitting there."
"What in God's name is going on out here?!" Edward put Ned's bellow to shame. "Samantha," he scolded until he heard the outside noise, the sorrowful, pitiful cried for forgiveness and he turned as did the other two to see Monica now kneeling on the driveway rocking with AJ.
"Oh my," his voice dropped and his face took on a look of a heart attack. A moment later he turned back to look at Sam, "Figures," he muttered, Ned and Sam once more turned to look at him, "rises from the dead with Jason's ex."
"Ned," Monica's firm voice, much different than the whispered words of a mother trying to sooth a distraught child, "I need you to go inside and get my bag."
It's return to soft and calming being murmured to AJ was what shocked Ned into action.
"Should I be calling someone?" Sam asked with apprehensive eyes, not feeling comfortable with being part of such a personal family moment.
"No, he's going to be fine," Monica reassured as her son was finally starting to calm down, burrowed in the crook of her shoulder, "it's just the stress."
"I don't think he's slept either," she offered. "He said something about nightmares."
Monica didn't say anything just turned right back to her son and kissed the top of his head.
Sam and Edward stood in awkward silence until Ned returned with Monica's medical bag. Sam tried to talk AJ into letting go of his mother as Ned was instructed on filling a syringe, but she gave up as Monica shook her head no and the needle slid into his flesh as his mother held him tight as he jerked.
She stayed close by though as AJ went limp in his mother's arms, helped heave him into Ned's and then helped adjust him when Alice took over.
It was at the door though that she was stopped by Edward, signaling she was no longer needed. "I want to thank you for what you did tonight my dear."
"Oh it was no-" she shook her head.
"No, no it was. Might I ask one more favor though?"
Dread filled her stomach.
"Allow us some time to deal with this revelation, ascertain it's validity before you share the news with anyone else?"
"You mean Jason?"
"Anyone," he didn't dare repeat that man's name. The one who had cost him his granddaughter.
"It's your family," was her quick answer and she turned to leave, but quickly turned back. "I'm sorry…" she stumbled over her words, "Emily was…Emily was amazing."
Edward nodded before turning back into the house.
-x-x-X-x-x-
News spread quickly around Port Charles about AJ's return, Sam had even heard from Alexis after a visit from Ned that all AJ had been able to offer was a suggestion of, 'Things didn't exactly end well between Lydia and I,' and a few comments about not being willing to share as much of the family fortune he had stolen as she thought she deserved. She also found out AJ had settled himself on a large ranch down in Argentina, had been living as a gaucho for the past few years and ELQ was soon to be thriving again due to a large influx of funds.
The remaining details were sketchy to those outside of the family, but there was one thing for certain, he was not only not a ghost, but also not a criminal, despite Scott's attempts to dig up some charges.
The news had spread as quickly as Lucky's case for sole custody progressed, especially since Liz was frequently sighted in Jason's company and she was pretty sure a judge would believe they were once more intimate, so any issue of her and Lucky would cease to matter, and Jason was a known violent criminal, despite the fact that nothing was ever proven and Alexis was a very good attorney.
She tried her best to put the thought of Jason and Elizabeth out of her mind and keep her promises to her daughter. To be a better person, to be a better girlfriend to Lucky, to make sure he got his boys.
She would have given up Jason for her daughter, the fact that Elizabeth refused to now…It proved she didn't deserve them. Especially after Leticia and Emily's deaths…
"Hey Sam," her name was called and she paused.
She turned, "AJ," she smiled, "glad to see you out." She stopped and smiled, "Actually more like amazed to see you out."
"Yea," he nodded and looked around, "I've gotten a few weird looks, I think a lady even poked me before to make sure I was real."
She laughed; it was amazing how fast they were all learning to laugh again.
"I never got to thank you for the other week," he began.
"I did what-"
"Let me thank you," he flashed a charming smile and she shut her mouth and waved her hand, allowing him to continue. "Despite everything I heard I'd done and the fact that even when I did know you we weren't exactly friends…" his head nodded. "I was in a bad place and you helped me out."
"Don't kidnap anyone I consider family and we'll call it even," she gave him a daring smile.
Another caddish smile, "I'll do my best."
"You're staying in town?"
"Edward's instituted me as Tracy's watchdog over at ELQ. Though I think he sold it to her as something less devious."
She laughed being taken in by his easy charm, amazed she had never experienced or anticipated this side of him.
"Actually I think I-" Liz's voice stopped as she and Jason made the turn towards Kelly's, but instead encountered AJ and Sam.
They just stared at each other, the women having no choice but to after stern talking to's by their lawyers. AJ and Jason simply remained quiet, though as rumor went around the city, they did nearly kill each other soon after AJ's arrival in town and it was nearly not broken apart. Some tried to cite Jason's non-marred appearance as proof that it hadn't happened, however AJ's non-appearance weakened their case and it would remain the rumor for months to come.
"I should be going," AJ ignored them and smiled down at Sam. "I just wanted to say thanks again."
"Once more not a problem," she reiterated as Jason and Elizabeth walked past them.
"Have a good day."
"You too," she smiled.
He turned to walk away in the opposite direction that Jason and Liz had just come from, "You know if you ever need a job, I checked out your work…"
She smiled, possibly even a little brighter as she watched Liz and Jason pause, "I'll keep it in mind. Thanks."
-x-x-X-x-x-
"Be good Sam," she ordered herself as AJ disappeared out of the alley and Jason and Liz into Kelly's.
She reminded herself of the promises she had made to her daughter, to not live in the past, to focus on the future, on Lucky and his boys…
It would be so easy though…
So comments???
Random Ramblings:
I'm thinking about a Brenda return home piece to go along with Emily's death as well.
I've also been thinking about two different AJ/Cassadine pieces (and totally almost made AJ's return here a Cassadine creation). I'm assuming however due to the vast difference of reviews in my two current stories that the piece primarily focused on Jason (along with Brenda) would be the better choice rather than the AJ/Courtney piece I originally thought of. :-P
Thanks for reading!