So I don't know if I'll keep this fic up because I don't really know how many people are interested in it, plus I have no real destination in mind. I know that eventually it will have to split from the show and I might just wait til I find the break to continue or for the pure pleasure of writing this I might just keep winging it. I don't know, let me know what you think if I should continue or not. If i don't get any interest though I'll prolley drop it for now because I do have another fic in progress Also I was thinking if I do continue I might switch to Rachel's POV for some chapters, again would love your thoughts.

Since this Episode was mostly from Finn and Kurt POV It meant that I could basically make up anything I wanted so here's what I came up with...don't own Glee, or Quinn's song. Spoilers for Season 2, Episode 3: Grilled Cheesus (Best title EVER!)

Startlingly Fragile

Quinn let her fingers dance over the keys and closed her eyes as the notes echoed through the empty church. She closed her eyes and for the first time in her short life a prayer didn't come. She swallowed and opened her eyes allowing her tears to fall over her cheeks at the emptiness she felt in her heart. It all started a week ago when Finn Hudson of all people walked into Glee and confessed his love for Jesus. At first the thought of singing about her faith had excited Quinn and then Puck had said that he saw God every time he made out with a new chick.

And when they were finished dancing and they all collapsed back into the closest chair Quinn had caught sight of Rachel's face staring at Finn in over dramatic horror. Leave it to Finn to forget that his girlfriend was Jewish. She had stared at Rachel and considered what Puck had said. It was true, Quinn realized. She felt something every time she heard Rachel sing, and suddenly she felt guilty, and some of her excitement dulled.

The rest was drained away when they got news about Burt Hummel and the world had stopped. She had heard the questions a million times and had always believed the standard answer that God works in mysterious ways, that people were not meant to understand, but this time it was happening to someone that she cared about. This time she could feel the pain. She could feel how inadequate that answer was.

Quinn spent the rest of the week grasping for her faith, praying for Kurt's father and trying to ignore the feelings that Rachel had been stirring in her since they had gotten back to school. The last part was the hardest especially when the singer had come to her and asked her if she would accompany her to the hospital to pray over Mr. Hummel.

Rachel had taken her hand as she bowed her head and guilt had spread through Quinn as fast as the spark that Rachel had created by touching her skin. She had taken her turn and pulled her hand away from the brunette, taking a seat to wait for her next turn. That was when it hit her and she was thankful a moment later when Kurt walked in and told them all to leave. God was trying to teach her another lesson.

She thought about the way that Rachel's hand felt in hers and the way that the brunette always looked at her in a way that said she knew Quinn was a better person. She thought about how much she had softened toward the diva over the course of the last year and how she felt whenever Rachel opened her mouth to sing. She recalled every time she had not been able to keep her eyes off of the tiny brunette and every time that she had thought about how pretty Rachel was and finally she thought what she had been afraid to think all year long. She had a crush on Rachel Berry and God was punishing Kurt to remind her that what she was feeling was a sin. Quinn was wracked with so much guilt that she had to run toward the bathroom with her hand clamped over her mouth.

She had avoided Rachel at all costs the next few days and could not bring herself to look Kurt in the eyes. She had been unable to stop herself from tearing up when he had sang his song and Quinn let herself feel her doubt to her core by asking the one question that every non believer asked in bitterness. What kind of God let people live in so much pain.

Quinn's heart hurt at the emptiness her lack of faith left there and She pounded the piano keys in despair and headed toward the confessional. She knelt and bowed her head, "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. It has been one year since my last confession." Quinn paused as she felt tears behind her eyes. "These are my sins." And then Quinn's voice broke and she was unable to hold back her sobs as she sat, thankful for the dark as she wondered where to start.

When she still could not speak after 10 minutes the priest spoke for her, "I know what a rough year you've had, child, stay as long as you like and begin whenever you feel ready." He sad kindly and Quinn took a small comfort in his voice and the familiarity of the confessional.

"A lot has been happening this week, Father. There's a boy at school who lost his mother and might lose his father. He's an atheist, and I can't help understanding his doubt. I said a prayer, and I didn't believe that it would be answered, and I-" Quinn's breath caught in her throat with a new round of tears as she tried to confess the feelings that Rachel had been inspiring in her lately. "He's…a homosexual, Father." She said instead, deciding to save that particular sin for her next confession. "Is God punishing him?"

"That child, is a question that is not easily answered, why don't we focus on your crisis of faith?" Quinn listened to the priest speak finding a small amount of comfort in his words. "Everyone's Faith is tested at some time in their lives, and during trying times it is easy to make it sway, but even a doubting man has Faith in the absence of God. Remember God is not only present in us, but in everything that we do. You're heart may feel empty right now in your time of despair, but the Lord has not forsaken you. Once you remember that perhaps you can go to this boy and try to shake his faith."

Quinn actually smiled at his words, "For this and all the sins of my past , I ask pardon of God, penance, and absolution from you."

"Please read Second Timothy Chapter two and Matthew Chapter 21 verses 18-22 as penance and perhaps when you read the words of our Lord you will be able to return to your friend and say a prayer with Faith in our Savior."

"Thank you, Father," Quinn said as she recited her Act of Contrition and the priest absolved her. Quinn left the confessional still feeling shaken and guilty, but a little bit calmer than when she had went in…

Finn's song had left Quinn aimless and sympathetic and Quinn found herself sitting in the choir room in front of the piano when Rachel joined her on the bench. She was emotionally exhausted and could not even muster up the energy to greet the girl. "Hello, Quinn." Quinn could hear the distress in Rachel's voice and looked at her questioningly.

"I'm a horrible person, Quinn." Quinn just arched her eyebrow at Rachel and waited for her to continue. "Kurt's father could be dying, he's going through this huge thing and all I can think about is myself. How inconvenient it is for Finn to have suddenly found Jesus, about my song getting ruined and how upset I am at the fact that getting to second base with Finn was less spectacular that I thought it would be. I'm selfish, all I ever think about is myself and I try to be better, but I can't help it. What are you doing here, Quinn? Usually I am the only one here when Glee is not in session."

Quinn's head spun as the words flowed out of Rachel's mouth, but instead of being annoyed she hung on every word that came out of Rachel's mouth trying not to revel in Rachel's disappointment over Finn's lack of making out skills. "You don't own the choir room, Treasure Trail." She said in annoyance, more at herself than Rachel. "Other people can use it too."

Rachel looked at her hands, "I didn't mean it like that, I just meant that, well I was concerned that you might be experiencing some issues of your own and I was going to offer my assistance. I know we're not friends, but trying circumstances might allow us to overlook our differences for today if you need someone to talk to…" Rachel let her voice trail off nervously and fiddled with a key on the piano.

Quinn swallowed, "I'm sorry, Berry. And you can be a little self absorbed sometimes, but that's not the same as being selfish." Quinn gave the compliment as penance for the name calling and rolled her eyes at herself when Rachel's hopeful look made her feel better. "I was looking for God." She said quietly into the silence.

Rachel played the opening notes to 'One of Us' and Quinn smiled. "Wish we could sing that one, Tina's voice would be perfect for it."

Quinn turned toward Rachel and actually smiled, "See you are getting better. Last year you wouldn't have even thought of giving a solo away." Quinn paused and then asked shyly, "Do you want to hear the song I picked for the spirituality assignment? I know it was cancelled, but I did it anyway."

Rachel smiled encouragingly and Quinn shuffled her sheet music on the piano before letting her fingers dance over the keys. She closed her eyes as she sang.

God loves a lullaby
In a mothers tears in the dead of night
Better than a Hallelujah sometimes.
God loves a drunkards cry,
The soldiers plea not to let him die
Better than a Hallelujah sometimes.

Quinn felt Rachel shift beside her and when she opened her eyes Rachel's brown ones were staring at her in soft surprise at the openness and honesty that Quinn was sure was on her face as she began the chorus to her song.

We pour out our miseries
God just hears a melody
Beautiful the mess we are
The honest cries of breaking hearts
Are better than a Hallelujah

And as she sang she realized why she had picked this song and the truth in what her priest had told her, which sounded a lot like what Puck had said. God was in the experiences.

The woman holding on for life,
The dying man giving up the fight
Are better than a Hallelujah sometimes
The tears of shame for what's been done,
The silence when the words won't come
Are better than a Hallelujah sometimes.

Quinn closed her eyes in her own shame and continued to sing, her heart clenching when she heard Rachel's quiet soprano come in on the second chorus.

We pour out our miseries
God just hears a melody
Beautiful the mess we are
The honest cries of breaking hearts
Are better than a Hallelujah

Quinn opened her eyes and let unchecked tears fall over her cheeks as she once again met Rachel's huge brown eyes, this time unable to look away as Rachel's compassion showed as she sang.

Better than a church bell ringing,
Better than a choir singing out, singing out.

We pour out our miseries
God just hears a melody
Beautiful the mess we are
The honest cries of breaking hearts
Are better than a Hallelujah

Neither girl looked away when the song finished and Quinn's chest felt full of emotion as they caught their breath. Quinn had become so immersed in her voice and her eyes as she sang that she had not heard anyone enter the choir room, but a moment later a throat cleared behind the girls and Quinn hung her head in shame. "That was really beautiful, Quinn." Kurt smiled softly as his tears matched Quinn's. He moved from the chair he was sitting on toward the door stopping hesitantly as he opened it. "I don't really know which of you did the trick, but maybe you could both give him a thank you tonight for letting me keep my father." Kurt smiled and left the choir room.

Quinn felt her heart fill up as she realized that God was everywhere. He had been in Kurt's smile, in Quinn's song and when Quinn glanced over at Rachel, He was in the tears that were running down Rachel's face as she finally let her emotion spill into her tears of relief. Rachel was confident and narcissistic, she could be abrasive and harsh, but in this moment, crying her relief into Quinn's shoulder, Rachel Berry was startlingly fragile.