Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters.

"Remus?" Lily called. "Where are you?" She brushed some stray floo powder off her sleeve.

In their 4th year at Hogwarts, Remus had confessed to Lily that he like boys, but he never specify which boy he liked until 5th year. It was after the horrible "prank" pulled on Severus; Lily had visited Remus in the Hospital Wing after the full moon to finish some homework.

"You remember when I told you that I was gay?" Remus asked, staring into space. He had bandages all over his arms and one wrapped around his head. There were dark bags underneath his eyes. The Herbology book sat on his lap, his papers dangerously slipping off his legs.

"Of course." she nodded

"Do you know who I liked?" Lily noted the past tense.

She pursed her lips, "No, I didn't want to pry. It already took enough courage to come out." Lily took his hand and squeezed gently. "Are you going to tell me now?"

Instead of returning the pressure on her hand, Remus gave a Lily a small smile. His eyes were tearing; he was on the brink of crying. Lily put her books to the side and hugged him, stroking his back. "You don't need to tell me now"

"No," Remus choked, "I do. You're the only one who knows that I like guys. And I feel like if I keep this in, my chest will explode!"

Lily pulled back, hands still gripped on his shoulders, and bit her lip. She nodded, urging Remus to go on. Remus looked into those bright green eyes that had a twinge of sadness in them and sighed.

"I used to like this amazing boy. He was funny, smart, kind to the people who he cared about. He was brilliant really. But then he fucked up. He did something unforgivable. He hurt his best friend. He almost got somebody killed. He almost made his best friend a murderer. And what's worse is, he's not even sorry."

Falling back into her seat, Lily whispered, "Sirius? You liked Sirius?"

"I probably even loved him." he said with no emotion, "I'll never forgive him for this Lily. Not unless he apologizes. But I doubt that he even knows he did something wrong."

"Are you not going to be friends anymore?"

He sniffed, wiping his eyes "I've stopped loving him, but I can't stop liking him. He's still my best mate."

"So you'll just act like everything's all right." she furrowed her eyebrows.

"I won't have to act. Everything will be alright." he tried to convince himself.

Lily was still confused, "You don't hate him." she stated more than asked.

"It's not hate. It's disappointment."

"It's not hate." Lily muttered, "It's disappointment." She made it down the hall and to the only closed door. Knocking gently, she called, "Remus?" before entering his
bedroom. She could hear the shower running in the tiny bathroom that connected to the bedroom. Lily called his name again, but got no response. Looking around the room, she doubted that it always looked this messy.

The drawers of his chest were pulled completely out, clothes were scattered all over the floor. On the bedside table, the lampshade was awry and the picture under it was overturned. Picking it up, she saw that it was of the 5 of them: the Marauders and Lily. The frame was cracked and the glass was shattered; the inhabitants of the photo were cowering among each other. She gulped, "Remus?"

Putting the photograph back down, she made her way towards the open door of the bathroom. Lily wasn't paying any attention to the path she was taking, and stepped on some glass. Startled, she took a step back and examined the frame on the floor. Lily picked it up and brushed the glass onto the floor, making tinkling noises at they hit the ground. This time the picture was of Remus and Sirius in front of the school. Remus was off in the background sulking while Sirius leaned against the frame of the picture, looking pissed. As Lily examined the picture, she didn't notice Remus turn off the water. But she looked up as he pulled the shower curtain back. Before Lily could look away, she saw that Remus was fully dressed, and dripping wet.

"Remus? What are you doing?"

Remus brushed some wet hair off his face, "Oh, just showering." He stepped out of the shower with heavy steps as he sloshed the water in his shoes.

"Fully clothed?"

"Water relaxes me. I didn't have time to take my clothes off." he sighed. He grabbed his wand from the sink counter and charmed himself dry. "Did you need something?" Remus started to pick the clothes off the floor.

"Sirius told me what happened." she stated. Remus froze as he bent down to pick up a pair of trousers. He quickly recovered and said "I don't know what your talking about."

"I think you know what I'm talking about." she crossed her arms.

Moving over to the bed, Remus dumped the pile of clothes onto the bed. "What, that I'm a werewolf? I think you already knew that, Lily." He started to fold the clothes ever so slowly.

"Remus!" Lily sighed. She noticed that he hasn't looked at her since he got out of the shower. Remus was ignoring her; continuing to fold the clothes. With a flick of her wand, the clothes were folded neatly into the drawers that closed as soon as they were sorted. The glass on the broken photographs were repaired and put back into their original places. She nodded to herself, Not too bad. Looking back at Remus, she saw that he was clutching the shirt that he had been folding. His eyes were glassy and he looked like he was going to break down. "Oh, Remus." Lily sat down beside him and rubbed his back soothingly. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"No." He wouldn't let go of the shirt when Lily tried to pry it out of his hands.

"Then what do you want to do?"

"Nothing. I don't see why I have to do anything." He finally looked at Lily. "I don't see why I have to explain myself to him. I think he got the message. I don't see why I have to apologize for anything. I did nothing wrong. And I don't see why I have to hurt like this." his voice cracked, "Sirius is such a goddamn prat!"

Lily hated Sirius for a moment. She hated him for making Remus like this. She hated him for almost killing someone. She hated him for almost making Remus kill someone. But then she remembered those words from what seemed like so long ago: It's not hate. It's disappointment.

"You still don't hate him, don't you." she looked at him knowingly, still rubbing his back.

"I could never hate Sirius." he choked. "Never."

A/N: R&R PLEASE. Next Chapter will be with James and Sirius!