Authors note: Ummmm here is Kai's POV and uh this was very, very difficult to write. I hope you guys don't get to sad with this fic.

Disclaimer: I don't own Beyblades

One with the story I guess

Why do you love me, what's there to love?

I've asked you this time and time again… because there is nothing to love about me. I'm cold and I push people away.

You always reply that you love me for who I am, that you love how I trust you and my looks. I don't like how I look, I don't like my hair, and you love my hair. I hate my body; you always ran your hands over it saying you wished you had a body like mine, one that was perfect. I hate the scars on my body, they remind me of my past, you used to kiss them saying that they make me who I am, and that you wouldn't change who I am, not for anything.

Why did I break up with you?

I had been thinking of doing it for a while, but there was never a right time. Ever since that night I started thinking maybe you were better off with some else. I guess it was all to do with that night. I don't blame you for what happened, well not really, I know you had a bit too much to drink, but still why did you do that…when I was right there. Wasn't I making you happy?

I remember the next day how I said we should just be friends…you slapped me, hard and ran off. I was worried about you, afraid that you would hurt yourself. When I found you, kneeling in the bark, at the edge of the playground, crying, my heart almost stopped. You said sorry, that you had done it again. I rushed to you and saw that one red line on your wrist, thankful you didn't draw too much blood, but upset that you thought of doing it.

I had gathered you up in my arms and let you cry. You kept saying sorry and that you loved me. Holding you like that made tears form in my eyes. I bit them back saying it wasn't your fault…though I knew in a way it was. You begged me through your tears to take back what I said today. I love you, yes I said those words and you looked up at me tears falling out of your eyes. You kissed me softly then hugged me again. I knew that I had to stay with you, for just a bit longer. For already my mind was turning over, asking if I really did love you like I thought.

Ever since that day, I've always been thinking that you are better off with someone else, some one not cold like me, someone who won't hurt you. Then I made the decision to call us off. I knew it would be hard, but not as hard as it was.

Why did it hurt so much when I did it?

It hurt when you looked at me with those dead eyes. It hurt so much. I had to hug you again saying I was sorry, but I couldn't go on lying to you. You're look also scared me; I was scared that you would try something again. I told you that you could hate me to make you better. You looked at me like I was nuts and said that you'd never ever hate me that you loved me too much. I muttered your name softly as tears began falling again, you made me promise to always be my friends.

I decided that I should leave and went to stand up. To be honest I was crying on the inside. You grabbed my hand and told me to stay. I thought that you'd want to be alone, and wouldn't want to see me, but I guess I was wrong, you still considered me you're close friend and still wanted me around.

I it me when you said that you'll never stop loving me, I hurt me a lot because I knew that if you continued loving me you'd only hurt yourself more, emotionally that is. I don't want to see you hurt. That's why I did it…I always hurt the ones that are close to me, so that's why I always push people away.

It did hurt, and I cried alone that night.

Why did you lie?

You lied to me… you lied to yourself. You said that you were over me, that you're feeling for me had all but gone, that there was only a little place in my heart that would always hold feelings for me. You lied, you still love me and it's causing you to hurt. I don't think I should be around you if I cause you this pain. You tell me otherwise, but I can see through your fake smiles and laughter.

I will become distant, yes that would be best.

Why do you hug me still?

When you came over last, you kept hugging me and buried your face into my neck. You said I was warm. I hugged you back, and I don't know why I did, though I always pushed you away afterward. I noticed the hurt in your eyes, but didn't do anything else.

Then you kissed. I blinked and kissed you back. I realised what I had done, I muttered your name and pushed you away. I saw the tears in your eyes and you said you were sorry. I hugged you again and said it was ok.

Why did I kiss you back…I don't love like that anymore right?

Why do I always feel guilty when you cry?

Why?

Rei… Why…

Why do you still love me?

There you go…i guess you'll want another chapter won't you….well I dunno I'm not gonna make any promises.

Review please