A dull stage stands bare in front of a heavy, dark curtain. The soft light illuminates rows and rows of empty chairs staring faceless to the front. From the side stage, a girl emerges with wide eyes, gazing around with a frightened look.
"Hello?" her hands cup around her mouth, causing her voice to echo through the empty room.
"Look, I know I've been gone a long time, but…I'm not dead. I still don't own the show, but I'm here."
A bright light shines on the stage, aiming squarely in the forgotten host's face. Her hands move in defence, waiting for her eyes to adjust before she can make out the silhouettes of five very unhappy contestants.
"You mind telling us where you were?" Jenny barks, her arms firmly crossed over her chest. 9 sighs before heading to her desk in a sluggish manner, collapsing in the seat and slamming her head to the shiny surface.
"I am so sorry," she begins, lifting her head to address everyone. "I know nothing is an excuse. 2013 I gave you guys a chapter every day, and last year, well, I pretty much did the opposite."
Her eyes glimpse the empty seats in front of her. "Now no one's left, and you guys have been waiting for ages."
"Well, we're still here," Tung's quite voice rose through the darkness, a wet, thin smile spreading on his lips. 9 pulled a sympathetic expression, her eyes downcast.
"Yes, and we want to hear what you have to say," Dex commented. "Since you've gone, a number of e-mails have come in."
"Again, I am so sorry," 9 picks up a cup on her desk, gingerly taking a sip before swallowing with a sour face. "Oh…coffee is even worse when it's cold."
"Consider that your punishment," Zap chimes in, smirking from his seat. The host nods her head, just as more bright lights flicker on and illuminate the stage in a production ready manner.
The teleprompter begins rolling. A lone cameraman starts his countdown, and a red light blinks on.
"And welcome back to the Aftermath of the saga. My apologies for the extended ad break, we decided to sell a bit more space than expected due to the expense of the crocodile wrestling tank-"
"Crocodile tank?" the group shouts in unison.
"-but more on that later. I'm sorry I haven't been around, university life becomes hectic when at the beginning of second semester, you get a job and a boyfriend pretty much a month apart. My life has been devoted to those three things, on top of everything else, so I can certainly say; I've been busy, and certainly not bored. You know you've found the perfect guy for you when he knows about Dex Hamilton and loves the show, and knew about Fanfiction before you told him. He managed to find me on here, so if he ever makes an account, which I may just make one for him, don't forget to stop over and say hey. He's already left a few reviews in the saga under the anonymous name 'ASliceOfReality'. But I digress, I'm a smitten girl. Like I said, there's no excuse. I have finally found some time to continue doing something I love, and I hope you guys enjoy the mishaps and mayhems I will put our contestants through now. My only regret is that you guys won't know I'm working on this until it's published."
A side door squeaks open, and a woman walks as quietly as she can through the entrance and up the stairs. 9 nods in gratitude as the lady takes her seat in the audience.
"The first review comes from a very dedicated reviewer; Genie For Your Wish. "Haha this was so clever! It's so surreal. An enjoyable read might I add. A question for all the cast, what was your favourite moment of the saga and why? And if you could change anything, what is it and why? Anyways, I'm still so glad you're still writing. I'm ecstatic to read your stuff! It's been too long and I've missed the email alerts. This brings back so much nostalgia.""
Jane leaves her seat, holding out a tissue to the emotional host. The girl blows her nose loudly, whispering a damp 'thank you' to the female entomologist. 9's eyes remain on the screen as Jane returns to her chair.
"I'm glad I'm still writing too," she says under her breath, spinning around in her chair. Her hands slam down onto the glossy black surface of the desk. "So guys, favourite moment of the saga, and why? Remember your buzzers have now been reset, you may use them only once."
All members in front began to think, ignoring but definitely registering the noise of another door opening, and the shuffling of three pairs of feet along the back row as more people joined the crowd.
"For me, it'd have to be the final chapter," Dex says proudly, his contagious smile encouraging everyone else's. "The way it mimicked the beginning chapter; everything was back to the way it was before, yet so much had changed, it was like it was planned from the beginning."
"I will tell you, I did have a fairly decent plan for the last chapter," 9 pokes a pen cheekily against her cheek. "I had the images, I had the script, but I didn't have the beginning. So I went back to the early stories in the saga to look for inspiration, and I found it in the first chapter."
Another door opens, more feet shuffle around the empty room. The host clears her throat.
"So Dex, would you change anything about the saga?"
"Well, to be brutally honest, the dispute between my father and I wasn't desirable to read," 9 glances away sheepishly as Dex's hand finds the back of his neck. "I would change that to have him working cooperatively by my side the whole time. I suppose I can see him falling back into old habits and running the habitat, but I doubt he would've gone as far as to create a new team in competition for his original work."
The small crowd sighs at the bashful leader's response, just as a smile creeps onto the host's lips.
"I liked the weddings," Tung declares in a loud voice, bringing everyone's attention to him. "Imagine me; Frogboy or Ring boy. It sounded awesome to be an important part of something so special to these guys. I really hope it comes true."
"That's if any of us ever get married, Frogboy," Zap remarks in a snarky manner. From the corner of her eye, 9 spies the darting, shifty eyes from the leader of the group.
"A guy can dream, dude," the tracker squirms back into his seat, oblivious to more people entering from the sides. "What would I change though? Probably how shy I was around Bream. I would go into that story, toughen myself up, and move up in my relationship as fast as everyone else in the story. I mean, I was a wuss."
"You are a wuss," the pilot smirks to his co-worker. "There's no way you would be ready or able to marry Bream during the saga. That was a fairly accurate part in the story."
"You wanna go dude, I'll take you on right here!" both boys sprint out of their chairs, seizing each other up with puffed up chests. The host rubs her hands together in an evil fashion.
"Excellent, bring out the crocodile wrestling tank!"
"The what?" everyone on set, including a now larger audience, only caught a glimpse of blue water splashing and a scaly green tail emerge from an underground tank before the ground cover slid back over, blocking it from view.
"Ok, it turns out for legal reasons we can't use the crocodile wrestling tank, which means we are out a decent amount of the budget," 9 glances to the side of the stage, where a shadowed group of Mafia men look unimpressed as they lazily patted baseball bats into their free hands. The host gulps as she turns back to her page of information. "So instead, guys, take your seats and we'll continue with the questions."
The boys return to their separate seats, eyes still connecting in a match. The host clears her throat before turning to the pilot.
"Zap, you're favourite part?" she places her chin in her hand, smirking in the direction of the stretching pilot.
"Ah, wow, it's so hard to choose," he says, slouching back into his chair. "I mean, a lot of the story was-"
"Inspiring," the host interrupts, allowing herself to drift off. "Beautiful, compelling-"
"Mushy," he scrunches up his face, the growing crowd murmuring in laughter at his act. A loud sigh radiates from the centre desk.
"Fine, I'll take it. Just pick your favourite"
"Ok…any part of the story where I was a hero and saved everyone. I guess when I broke my speed record flying Dex to the hospital was pretty cool. Or even-" his face drops with a sudden thought, his darting eyes careful to avoid the girl sitting beside him.
"Or?" 9 asks, sliding closer to him on her desk with the most mischievous grin. "Something…to do with Jenny?"
"N…not exactly," he murmurs, obviously avoiding the engineer's confused stare. "Well, I mean, there was one chapter where I was the hero, I think it was in the 12 days of Christmas. I was the hero; I got the girl. It was…nice."
He rests back in his chair, a small smile growing as the audience coos in delight, noticing the light blush on the clone's cheeks.
"As for the thing I would change, that would be my temper in the story. There is no way my temper is that bad."
The rest of the guests shuffle awkwardly in their seats, looking around the slightly dull-lit room. More doors open and squeak close in the distance, followed by the sound of shuffling seats.
"Well, to each their own opinion," 9 giggles behind her cue cards, the contagious laughter catching up to everyone else as they begin chuckling too. Zap crosses his arms angrily with a snarl gracing his features.
"Completely ignoring the fact that you didn't mention anything about your relationship with Jenny," the host mutters quickly, earning a few wolf whistles from the audience. "Jenny, your favourite part?"
"It is so hard to choose; I found it to be quite an interesting read. I guess, I loved the fairy tale of "Beauty and the Beast" but in our own version. I'm a sucker for fairy tales. That one must've taken you a long time."
"It did," the host sighs, placing her hand on her cheek and resting her elbow on the desk. "I don't know how many people know this, but I actually found a script of the movie and used a lot of that (so I do apologize if sometimes the word 'Jenny' appeared as 'Belle') and I found the film on YouTube, which involved a lot of pausing and typing replaying. But it was worth it."
"As for what I would change, I stand by what I said," she glares at the host, hands placed neatly in her lap. "I would not have a child at such a young age, let alone out of wedlock."
"I can agree with that. It was risky, but I loved the chapter I posted on the 19th of September, where the entire team meets Max for the first time. I wrote that a year before the story even came into development, and to be honest, the entire saga was created around that plotline. I don't regret it, and I would certainly do it again if I had to."
A modest applause rings out, alerting the interviewees to the quarter full audience. 9, smiling bashfully down at her shiny desk, spins in her chair to face Jane.
"And finally, Jane. What was your favourite part, and what would you change?"
The female entomologist turns to face Dex for a split second, an action that was mimicked by the leader. She turns back to smile at the host. "I loved my relationship with Dex in the story. It's everything a girl could ever dream about."
The audience sigh as instructed on the screens, mostly in the direction of the smiling leader.
"Although I can understand its importance to the plotline, it was very hard to read about Sam passing," she smiles sadly to the floor.
"You know, it was hard for me to read too," 9 admits, throwing her cue card over her shoulder and turning to the TV screen. "Let's move on. That one was long and good, and will give readers an enjoyable read, but it's time for the next question. LoverofJack has written "ok I would really like to see a deleted scene of on tung and breams dates, and Zap, sort of cute, really?and yeah I totally agree coffee is bitter :)"".
"Since there is no time like the present; ladies and gentlemen, may I introduce our next guest: Bream!" a skinny girl with a green complexion enters the stage from the side curtain to the sound of a modest applause. She takes her seat next to Zap, opposite the wide-eyed frog boy. "I thought it'd be more enjoyable to have her here when we watch this."
The screen turns to static, before capturing a crystal clear image of Tung and Bream sitting opposite one another on a poorly set table. "Lucky enough, we have a small clip of these two on one of their more awkward dates. Enjoy"
Tung fiddles nervously with his hands, tapping and darting his eyes to the beautiful girl sitting opposite him. Bream sits with her hands on her cheeks, a bored expression gracing her face as she stares blankly into the distance.
"Did…um," the frogboy stutters, picking up his spoon and tapping the back of it on the table. "Did you eat a lot of lunch? We're planning on having pasta for…for dinner."
"No I didn't," she musters a smile in response to his small talk. "Should I ask if you did or…?"
"No, actually I didn't have a big lunch today. Just a sandwich, a sub, two serves of slime soup and there may have been some centipede dip," he catalogues, oblivious to the widening eyes of the girl in front of him.
Jenny walks out, smiling with two plates of pasta. She places them down in front of the couple and walks away briskly. Tung holds his nose to the plate. "So, I'm all set for this meal."
"Wow," Bream gasps, stabbing her food and twisting the fork. Tung reverts to his quite stage, poking at the meal in front of him. He copies her in an attempt to swirl the pasta onto the fork, yet some strands manage to dangle long off the fork. He sighs in frustration before jamming the instrument into his mouth, slurping up the loose strands noisily. His breath shortened as he did so, resulting in one strand of pasta to slap him on the cheek.
Bream, with her mouth full of water after a drink, caught sight of the act and allowed a giggle to erupt in her throat. Slippery water cascaded down her chin as she tried to fight swallowing and laughing, which a crimson Tung watched on in utter bewilderment. A large grin slowly began to grow on his green lips as Bream finally managed to compose herself, politely dabbing a napkin to her face.
"I'm so sorry," she apologized, awkwardly looking down at her plate.
"That was wonderful," he whispered, just loud enough for her to hear and smile bashfully towards her dinner.
"Say what you will," Bream caught everyone's attention with her words. "But that actually looks like it would've been a sweet date."
The crowd coos happily in response to the girl, everyone noticing Tung sliding lower into his chair.
"I will say that that date, looked very awkward," 9 announces, pointing at the screen. "But each to their own opinion. Jenny, you have a dare! Dragoneye has sent in "Yay! Chapter 2! Thanks for reading out my questions. I have a dare for Jenny. I dare you to sing the chorus of Mr. Lover boy by Little Mix. Wonder who's gonna be the next special guest is." Well, people can now ask Bream any questions they may have, but remember, if you want to ask anyone a question, all you have to do is ask in the review and I will bring them out for you. So Jenny, time to mic up."
A microphone emerges from the centre of the stage, casting a single dramatic spotlight. The host turns to look at Jenny, who has her hand placed lightly over her safety button.
"Can I ask you a question?" the engineer begins. "If you've read all the reviews, is it worth it for me to push this button now? I'm not a big singer."
9 pretends to hum in thought. "You know what, for fun, let's just say I don't read the reviews until we all see them."
Jenny sighs loudly, and with shaking limbs, approaches the microphone to the sound of a strong applause.
She stands timidly, one gentle hand grasping the mic stand as she inhaled a shaky breath. A guitar slowly began to play. "Boy you keep on blowing my mind. Caught up in my emotions. You can be my Mr. Loverboy." Both hands wrapped tightly around the pole as she continued her ballad version of the song. "The way you make me feel inside. Come back over and over. Won't you be my Mr. Lover, Mr. Loverboy?"
The crowd falls silent as Jenny sings, unbelieving to the music ringing out in the speakers. The girl stops, looking around at all the people staring at her. "I told you I'm not a big singer," she argues, walking back to her chair. Once she takes her seat, a loud applause fills the rows of seats, where a third of the audience has returned.
"That was incredible. You really do have a great voice," the host admires from her seat behind her desk. "Shall we move on? We have a review from a saga favourite; Zennyfan825. They ask "Wow I never thought that you would be very happy about my name. Zap I never thought of you as a freak and for the people who think you are, they can just go jump in a pool of stinky slime, you're amazing. Ok back to the questions, Zap and Tung- how can you two be friends I mean one of you is a frog and the other is an insect how does that work? Dex- Did you never meet your mother and if so what happened or why did she leave? Well that's all I have, for now.Again love your work FanFicFan909 or 9 Blue. Zennyfan825 out."
A chuckle emerges from the pilot. "Stinky slime; classic."
"Well I am very happy about the name, it means my talents as a shipping name designer are not completely lost," the host muses. She spins in her chair to face Tung. "So Tung, why do you think you and Zap are friends? A frog and a fly, it doesn't really work."
"Huh, I guess I never thought of it that way," the frog boy contemplates, holding a hand up to his chin. "Normally the frogs eat the flies, but in our workplace, the fly bosses the frog around. I guess because we both have the "boy" part programmed into us, then we have something similar between us. We have that in common, and that is what makes us friends."
"Tung, that was so beautiful," 9 stares tearfully in the tracker's direction. Zap coughs loudly from his seat.
"I wouldn't say we are friends-"
"Wait," Tung holds his hands up in defence. "Does this mean now I get to boss him around?"
"And now it's not beautiful," the host slumps in her chair. "So Dex, did you ever meet your mom?"
"I didn't," the leader confesses to the eagerly awaiting crowd. "If I did, I was too young to remember her. I do have wonderful memories of a light haired brunette with glowing golden eyes, but that's all I remember of her."
"Oh, it tears your heart. Perhaps if your father was in he'd be able to give us more of an insight," Dex nods solemnly at the hosts' words. "But we'll see if he's the next special guest. Now ladies and gentlemen, let's hope the monitor doesn't crash as we try and read the latest review by ColdnessofLove. They have sent this message.
"ASDFGHJKL;'QWERTYUIOP[ZXCVBNM,.1234567890-! OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG! THIS IS SO AWESOME LIKE OMG I HAVE NO WORDS! YOU WERE SO SWEET IN THIS CHAPTER OMG THANKSSSS! :''D
Gahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... okay... im done... (TOTALLY OFF TOPIC BUT I GOT A DOG AND I AM VERY HAPPY!) ANYWAYS, questions, questions... To Jenny: That time Jenny 8 was around, was that JEALOUSY? Well, fair enough - once you have a good looking bug boy in your grasp, best not to let anyone take him! ;) To Zap: In the hypothetical situation that Jenny was about to leave forever never to be seen again, what would you say to her or do? BE HONEST. 9BLUE KNOWS ALL AND SEES ALL AND LYING WILL BE POINTLESS. ;) And also, can you give Dex a hug? Just because watching you squirm is fun. To Tung: Do you approve of Zenny? Do you secretly think it is hilarious to watch them pathetically try to deny their far too obvious feelings for each other? To Dex: If Zenny DID happen, would you be a little harsh like in the story, or are you a fangirl at heart and also ship Zenny with all your mind and soul? (My Zenny questions aren't as direct as what may have been originally expected (this is very indirect by my standards okay), but hey, I work in subtle ways ;)) And thanks for telling me about the more-than-one-question thing. I may have abused your kindness. ;/ (Also sorry for taking like a year to reply but I like to arrive slowly and in style next time. I'll try to be more quick :P) xoxo COL"
Everyone stared blankly at the screen as they tried to process what they had just read.
"I don't even know where to start," 9 ran her fingers through her hair. "Congratulations on getting the puppy, I'm sure they're a big dog now, and I'm sorry for taking forever to update but things have been hectic. Ok, let's get started. Jenny, were you jealous of Jenny 8?"
"Absolutely not," the girl crosses her arms and points her nose skyward, before the bored stares from everyone around her causes her to soften her expression. "Well, I don't know. I'm the clone in the team, that's what makes me unique after living my whole life of being…not unique. Having my sister around just didn't make me feel special among my co-workers anymore."
More doors squeak open in the distance, muffled by the sound of the audience exclaiming in sympathy.
"Jenny, you'll always be one in a million to us," Dex begins his usual uplifting talks. "There can only be one Jenny known to Hamilton Habitat."
Applause and cheers ring out in the crowd as Jenny subtly wipes away a tear. The host clears her throat. "I don't think you answered the question. It asked if you were jealous because Zap showed so much interest in your sister."
"Like I said, I wasn't happy with her being around any member of the team. She can sometimes steal the limelight, but she's my sister and I love her. I'm just so glad I found her alive and well."
"You seem to be worming around these questions so easily, but don't worry, the reviewers and I will get you eventually. Zap, in the hypothetical situation that Jenny was about to leave forever never to be seen again, what would you say to her or do?" the host reads from her card before locking eyes with the bug boy, beads of sweat forming on his brow. "Remember, be honest!"
"I would say; Spread your wings and fly. You'll probably get better pay offers considering all the things you can do," a frightening eruption of boos echo from the audience to the stage, causing the bug boy to leap up in his chair. "Alright, alright. I'd tell her…to…please don't go. That…we would all be worthless without her…and that…we need her around."
The pilot pulls a small smile from the corner of his lips in the direction of the engineer, where the girl bashfully tries to hide her smile.
"Ah, that's better," 9 beams brightly in their direction. "Ok, now give Dex a hug."
A ringing sound emits from Zap's chair, and everyone notices the lack of a blinking button in front of him.
"Oh yeah," 9 seethes through her teeth as the pilot sits smugly in his seat. "Oh well, hopefully you may or may not need it for a later dare," she smiles, sending Zap into a nervous sweat.
"Tung, do you approve of Zenny, and do you think it's fun to watch them deny their feelings?"
"Oh my goodness, where do I begin," the tracker starts with a laugh in his voice. "These two are so perfect for each other; they love the insects, they both are interested in each other, they both love to pick on me, and most of all they are both blind to how much they like each other."
The audience laughs along with Tung, much to the embarrassment of the engineer and the pilot in front of the frog boy. "I mean, come on. It's so obvious. This story was written because of what people know is between you two, and it's not the first, I've checked. There are heaps of forums on websites and more stories like this that are built on your relationship. You'd make it so much easier on everyone if you just started dating."
Loud applause rings out from a cheering audience. The clapping lasts longer than expected, forcing the host to nod towards the gangsters on the side of the stage. "Yeah these people might need to calm down. Moving on, Dex, are you a fangirl of the Zenny or would you be harsh?"
"Oh, that was perhaps something I thought was inaccurate in the story. If those two do in fact want to start a relationship, then I'm all for it. It's certainly none of my business to interfere," the leader speaks, puzzled by the bored stare of the host.
"Well, that was…um…boring," 9 rolls her eyes as she throws her card over her shoulder. "I guess we were hoping for something more exciting. But thank you COL for all the Zenny questions. Our next reviewer is DragonFlyer9 who has a question for Bream. "I understand leaving your home planet to join the team would have been very confronting for you, and it makes me wonder how someone could make such a difficult decision." So, Bream, how would you go about making the decision to leave your home planet?"
"Well, since reading this saga, I have thought about it," the frog girl begins. "I don't know if I ever could. It would take a lot of convincing for me to leave my dad by himself. I would need support from Tung, comfort from Dex, the best communication devices built by Jenny and Zap's quick piloting for me to feel comfortable enough to be able to leave home. The relieving part in the story was that dad was not left by himself and I was thankful for that."
"It takes a team to raise a member," mumbles the host, as she tries to subtly dab at her eyes. Tung blows his nose loudly into a flailing handkerchief.
"That was beautiful," he shouts, sniffing after he talks. The host cringes before holding up a clean tissue, which is taken by one of the archive bots and flown over to the crying tracker.
"Another review was left by Zennyfan825, I do apologize for not updating sooner. They have asked; "Dex and Jane- are you two and item? (and I'm not talking about the story).Tung- in the last chapter of the story what did you think about it? (mostly the bit with you and bream). Jenny and Zap- In chapter 6 and 7 in May (chapter the war one and purple heart) what do you guys think of it?! Love your work can't wait for next update. Zennyfan825 out." 9 smirks in the direction of the shyly smiling leader. "Now, Dex, Jane, what could they possibly mean? Remember if you tell a lie, I will bring out that crocodile tank."
"Hah, bring it on, mate," Dex sits forward eagerly on his chair, much to the dismay of the host. "But I'll save you the trouble. We weren't really going to tell anyone, especially not on this show, but," the leader grabs Jane's hand in his, both of them smiling sweet smiles. "After reading the story, we decided to give us a shot."
"Give us a shot?" the host turns up her nose. "You make it sound so romantic."
"Alright, alright," the leader gestures with his hands in a 'calm down' fashion. "We read the story side by side, and after the wedding chapter, I turned to her and asked her out. I can't really say anything except, it's been going well."
For reasons unknown, the entire audience seemed to have been replaced with only female members as the loudest fangirl cheering erupts from the crowd. The crew members and host cover their ears at the pulsing sound swimming around them. 9 turns to the side curtains and waves her hand in front of her neck, signalling the monitor to tell the audience to "keep it down!" Silence follows and everyone calms down on stage.
"Ok, so now that that's sorted, and awesome," the host muses. "Next question. Tung, what was your opinion on the last chapter, from the highest balcony?"
"It was great, after an entire story that seemed to revolve around Zap and Jenny, I'm glad I got to have one of the most important chapters set aside for me," Tung smiles broadly as he squirms in excitement. "The only thing I didn't like, and I've said it before, is that I was shy around Bream in the story, and that moment could've been bigger if I had proposed to her."
"In a way, you did," 9 argues. "I just didn't want to promote young marriages even more than I already was in the story. You're supposed to be like, 14, on the show. So Zap and Jenny, did you like the purple heart mini-series?"
"It was very different putting in a war plot," Jenny comments. 9 shuffles in her seat.
"I will admit, I had watched a lot of Downton Abbey when I wrote that one," she admits, darting her eyes around the room. "I was inspired by it."
"I liked it, I was confident in the face of a bad situation, and no girl could convince me to not go back out there. It described me to a T," the pilot voices, leaning back in his chair. The host stares at him with her mouth ajar.
"What about the angsty romance part?"
"I guess that was good," says the engineer. "I hope that they got to see each other afterwards, reunited after the war. But if they didn't, then it was appropriate to the story."
The host slumps in her chair, pressing her cheek against her desk. "Thank you," she mumbles. The screen changes to the next review. "We have had a few reviews from anonymous readers. The first one from Guest has said "Oh man this is funny and awesome plz update", another Guest has said "This is awesome I want to see them suffer more! Please update" and someone called The Person has written "I can't wait for more answers to be done PLEASE UPDATE!" Don't worry everyone, I intend to update. Again, I apologize that it's taken so long to write this, but it's actually a lot more difficult than one might first think. I'm just glad I've finally gotten to giving you guys what you deserve."
A loud applause sounds, telling everyone that the audience has almost returned to its original size. The host smiles gratefully.
"We have another long review with questions for everyone. This one from Anonymous has said "AHHHHHHHHH! YOU'RE BACK! It feels so amazing to type in Anonymous again. Yes, I really did think it was over. I'm so glad to be proven wrong! YAY ZENNY FLUFF! Jenny: Would you rather date Zap or... Ahem (growl) Buzz? And you can't just say no preference. CHOOSE ONE. Second question... Would you date Zap or Buzz? YOU CANNOT JUST SAY NO PREFERENCE. Do you like puppies? Or kittens? What about unicorns? Do you like reading books (fiction, recreationally)? Zap: A lot of girls think you're hot (idk why... No offense), so what do you think of that? DO NOT JUST SHRUG AN SAY I DUNNO OR MUMBLE SOMETHING. Do you feel a sort of kinship with insects, considering you're a hybrid insect? XD. What is your least favorite food? Tung: do you think I, an anonymous reviewer, am rude, asking these weird, maybe personal questions to your teammates? Do you ever feel sad eating those poor insects? Have you ever gotten sick eating one of those insects? Dex: I dare you to eat something Tung made. After it's baked in an incubator for an hour. I dare you to do something embarrassing in front of Jane. While attempting to flirt with her. Would you ever do something drastic for Tung, Jenny, or Zap? Even if it costs your life? Or kills off a good number of the insects in your habitat? Bream and Jane: I won't torture you guys much, if at all. Jane: If you married Dex, do you think you'd have a wedding like in the fanfiction? If not, what would it be like? Bream, what do you think of leaving your home planet and traveling with Dex and co. like in the fanfiction? Jenny-AGAIN!: Would you date Zap? Do you think I'm bring nosy? Do you wish I would stop pestering you about this? Do you think Zap finds this annoying? I dare you to dye your hair white. Not permanently, of course. What is your favorite type of candy? Do you think it's a good strategy for me to repeat questions so you can't use your little ding-y/free pass button to skip the embarrassing questions?
FanFicFan909: May you show a clip of Habi doing something silly? And... That's all. Byeeee!"
"Wow, thank you anonymous. Yes, you can ask more than one question to each person on the show as you asked in your second review, it makes for an enjoyably long read for everyone. It just means I may take a little longer to get the next chapter up. Anyway, we'll start from the beginning, shall we? Jenny, who would it be; Zap or Buzz? Who would you rather and which one would you date? Did you notice you only go after guys with names like sound effects?"
"First of all, I haven't gone after Zap," the clone snaps. "And secondly, I think this is an inappropriate question. One of these guys is a co-worker and friend of mine; I wouldn't want to ruin that. The other guy tried to destroy my place of work and all of my equipment, so I don't think he has a chance either."
"Just pick one Jenny," the host sighs, responded with applause. "I'll flip a coin for you. Zap can be heads, and no…this isn't a double-sided coin," 9 darts her eyes in a shifting manner.
"Ok, fine. I guess if I had to choose between them, I would…I would pick…Zap."
Screams of the highest magnitude ring out from the full audience, sending a soundwave so strong that it pushes the host's wheelie chair all the way back to the curtains at the back of the stage. Everyone else has their hands against their ears and their eyes screwed shut as the noise continues. For a split second, Dex peels open his eyes to spy Zap smiling broadly with his hands on his ears, looking down to hide his expression. 9 stands up, walking at an odd angle as though pushing through a strong wind force. She reaches for a button under her desk and pushes it, sealing a large window between the stage and the audience.
The noise quietens.
"Phew, that was insane," she takes her seat, panting heavily as she stares at the glass where audience members are frantically jumping up and down and silently screaming. "It's like a zoo."
What do we do about it?" Dex asks, glancing nervously between the host and the audience.
"Oh, they'll calm themselves down eventually."
…
"Ok, it's been 17 hours and they still won't stop," 9 sighs dramatically as she wipes her tired eyes. "Let's just continue and maybe they'll stop to listen to the other answers."
"Can't we go home now?" Tung asks in a beginning manner. "I'm hungry."
"No, not until we're done. You guys signed contracts," the host scans the card in front of her. "Jenny, are you a dog or a cat person? And how do you feel about unicorns?"
"I suppose I'm a dog person, and unicorns are fictional so I don't have an opinion on that."
"Aliens are considered fictional but you guys protect heaps of alien insects every day," 9 smiles slyly in the clone's direction.
"Whatever, and as for reading, I prefer manuals over fiction, but I guess some science fiction novels capture my fancy."
"Very well. Zap, what is your response to girls fawning over you? Before you start, I think I can help out the reviewer. Physical features that are held in high regard in certain societies are blue eyes, pale skin and dark hair. I desired these qualities too, until I found my guy with the most chocolate eyes you could ever-"
A cough from the leader interrupts the host's train of thought, and she mumbles a quick apology before allowing Zap to answer.
"Um, it's awesome, definitely," once again the bug boy is met with bored stares. "Ok, it can be a bit overwhelming with all the unwanted attention. It'd be nice to just have some alone time."
"Do you feel a kinship between bugs?"
"Maybe a little, I guess. I've never really thought about it," 9 hums in thought.
"Shall we bring a bug in to find out?" she asks, gesturing her hand to the side of the stage.
"Actually, I don't think that's a good idea. In Zap's human form he'd be no different in communicating with insects than other humans. His bug form, however, may instil some connection between the bug and what it's seeing. The only problem with that is Zap is very unstable when in bug form," Dex informs, causing the host to exhale and usher the cage back behind the curtain, everyone staring wide eyed as a few tentacles find their way outside of the curtain hiding the cage.
"Ok, we'll just move on; least favourite food?"
"Whatever Tung cooks up," the pilot responded quickly. The audience awed at the upset expression of the tracker as his bottom lip dropped as low as it could go.
"That was mean," the host comments, turning to face the pilot with puppy dog eyes. "I think you should give him a hug."
"That wasn't a challenge," the bug boy argues, crossing his arms with a tired expression. 9 narrows her eyes at him.
"Fine, Tung, is it rude for our reviewers to be asking everyone all these questions?"
"Absolutely not," the frog boy shouts, coupled with supportive cheers. "I ask these kinds of questions to everyone all the time. People say I have no filter, I don't know what they mean, because every time they say it, I always check the filters around the habitat and they're all fine. Besides, when questions are asked this way, they must answer truthfully, whereas when I ask they always brush me off."
"Well, fair enough," the host agrees with a bright smile. "So those bugs; do you feel sad eating them and have you ever gotten sick from eating them?"
The tracker puts his finger to his chin. "I like eating the bugs; I don't think I have ever thought about them like this. I may have gotten sick from eating them, it's hard to tell, I tend to throw up a lot."
A chorus of moans of disgust echoes through the room, mimicked by the upturned noses of those seated on stage.
"Ok, pretty gross," 9 comments, scanning her card. "Dex, I'm sorry, but you need to eat something Tung made after it's baked in an incubator for an hour, plus do something embarrassing in front of Jane while attempting to flirt with her. Also, would you ever do something drastic for Tung, Jenny, or Zap even if it costs your life or kills off a good number of the insects in your habitat?"
"Since these questions are all from the one review," Dex begins, eyes sparkling at the idea. "Does that mean I can use my skip and not do any of them?"
The host's eyes widens in surprise "A loophole!" she squeals, covered by the sound of Dex's button sounding as he pushes it. "Well, that makes my job a lot easier. This screening is already long enough without having to try and fit more in. Jane, if you married Dex, do you think you'd have a wedding like in the fanfiction and if not, what would it be like?"
"I quite liked the wedding in the story," Jane smiles to the ground. "Maybe it was a bit big, I suppose. I would have a more 'toned-down' wedding, perhaps starting with less people going."
"Bream; what do you think of leaving your home planet and traveling with the team like in the fanfiction? Hang on…I feel like we've answered this one."
"We have," Bream sighs with a small smile. "But if I could bring myself to leave home and my father, I think it would be fun to be a part of Dex's team."
"Jenny…again? Ok, uh, Jenny; would you date Zap? Do you think I'm being nosey? Do you wish I would stop pestering you about this? Do you think Zap finds this annoying? I dare you to dye your hair white. Not permanently, of course. What is your favourite type of candy? Do you think it's a good strategy for me to repeat questions so you can't use your little ding-y/free pass button to skip the embarrassing questions?" the host stares sceptically at the engineer, who is sporting a puzzled look on her face.
"Ok, let's do this," the clone starts, cracking her knuckles before holding up her fingers as she counts off her answers. "Yes, I would date Zap. Yes, I do think you're being nosey. Yes, I do wish you would stop pestering me about this. Yes, I think not just Zap but everyone finds this annoying. Someone pass me the hair-dye."
A spray can from the side of the stage is thrown into her hands, and she holds it up to the light to read it. "Spray hair chalk?"
"Yeah, it's all we could afford in the budget, but it's not permanent," the host explains. Jenny shrugs before holding the tip of her hair and applying. Before long, her blue hair had now white frosted ends in an ombre appearance. The pilot, who has watching her the whole time, sank back into his chair with an impressed look.
"And my favourite kind of candy is salt-water taffy. Also, it's not a good strategy considering we can't answer the same questions twice. Are we done?"
The camera scans back to the host, who has wind swept hair as though she had been pushed into a wind tunnel. "Uh…uh, yeah, yeah you're done. Anyway, this person has a review for me," she looks up, a dramatic tear falling down her cheek. "For me? This is unbelievable. They want me to show a clip of Habi doing something silly. Well this is perfect. As a matter of fact, I have one with me right now."
The screen along the back hazes to a crystal clear image of the robot is seen on the monitor.
Habi focuses his eyes in the mirror reflection and flexes his tiny wings, as though checking himself out.
"Oh yeah, ladybugs love the robot bugs," a voiceover sounds in a tone unheard of to the crew members.
"We managed to hook up his inner thought processor to a speaker system," the host explains.
"Work it, look at those shiny wings," the tiny reflective surfaces sparkle in the light, and the gears in his face shift themselves to produce a broad smile on his lips. "Ok, now to take the picture. It's got to be good if I'm going to upload it to be my SpaceBook profile picture. First look; the bad boy."
The phone in front of him captures the robot looking over his shoulder and back to the camera, his eyes half open with a bored expression.
"Nah, that's not good enough. Look 2; the 'cute-and-innocent'," the robot narrates, posing to the camera. The image shows the robot close up to the lens, big bug eyes covering the majority of the picture and his shoulders raised ever so slightly with a shy tilt of his head.
"Hmm…I don't want to look like a girl," he analyses, before deleting the photo. He taps a tiny metallic claw to his chin. "When in doubt, peace and pout."
The photo uploaded to his SpaceBook page shows the robot squinting with his mouth to the side in a pout, two tiny claws on one robot hand pointing as though he is displaying the 'peace' sign. Habi faces the screen, as though talking to the audience.
"But when I upload it, I'll comment that it was the first photo so no one knows how much effort I put into it," he winks to the screen, and the monitor hazes again before turning off.
The crowd and those on stage all remain silently seated with their mouths ajar at what they had just seen.
"That was…" Dex begins, but couldn't quite think of how to end his sentence.
"Horrifying," 9 finishes for him, eyes still locked on where the robot had been just moments before. "I mean, that was just horrifying. Needless to say I'll be sleeping with the lights on tonight. And finally, we have come down to the final dare. For Zap and Jenny, Anonymous has suggested that you guys have to play 7 minutes in heaven OR kiss on the lips. Plus, they love that I'm back. So, should I get the closet ready?"
Zap comfortably places his hand on his button, but his heart sinks when he sees that it is no longer flashing. The beads of sweat begin to form on his brow as he sees everyone around him with a sly smile.
"Uh uh," the host shakes her finger, "You've already used that, which means-"
The host is cut off as the button in the chair beside Zap sounds. The clone sits in her seat smugly, red light no longer flashing.
"The dare was for both of us, and I still had my button save. I dyed my hair so I could save that button," the engineer explains, enjoying the way the host's face is beginning to turn a light shade of red.
Zap, with a beaming smile, continues the jokes towards the host. "Does this mean I have to play 7 minutes in heaven by myself?"
Her hands tremble, and the final cue card falls onto the desk. The host stands abruptly, visibly shaking in embarrassment and anger. "I don't care, you can do what you want! Tung was right, you guys are blind! Cut to commercial!"
Uncharacteristically happy music plays as the host storms of stage, leaving the interviewees feeling uncomfortable as they remain seated.
I am so sorry for keeping you guys waiting. I am so glad that I am back and I hope you enjoy this 8000 word chapter. Sorry the update wasn't as soon as I had hoped, I had a big week celebrating my 21st. Yep, 21 and still writing fanfiction, my life is awesome. If you have more questions, then this aftermath will continue. R&R.