We live once again in a world of runes and icons, efficacious
and full of virtue; a world in which the distinction between how we
know what we know, statement and referement, meaning and object
has begun to break down. Indeed, quantum physics tells us that
we are all made out of numerical likelihoods called electrons, photons,
and so on; and the Big Bang theory says that we are all made
out of light.
--Frederick Turner
_________________________________________
(Yami~3)
Yami no Koe
Language is the root of consciousness.
Miyako pushed away from the desk and spun in her chair. She kicked her legs out and watched the room blur as she turned. When she slowed she stuttered her feet against the floor and spun again, until her hair flew out around her. She was waiting for the next idea to hit.
When it came she reached out and stopped short, nearly toppling the desk with the sudden exchange of energy. She grinned.
Because of language we perceive the world in a certain way. Without that basic foundational system, we would be unable to perceive the world the way all others perceive it. Our shared language allows us to share a culture, and, therefore, to share a perception of the world of which those outside our language do not partake.
It was easy, really. Once you had the basic idea the words just came flowing out.
She twisted a lock of her hair around one finger, and with the other hand wrote, Language creates a breakable universe.
**
"Well he's your son too. You might at least take some responsiblity."
Mrs. Ichijouji covered the receiver with her hand and sighed as her ex-husband bit out a nasty retort to her statement. She couldn't even really feel angry at the man anymore. She knew that she was in the right, and so did he. Mostly she just felt a great weariness.
"Then at least make an effort to talk to him. You can do that, can't you?" She asked, after the man fell silent. Her gaze fell to Ken, sitting on the coffee table and watching her with wary eyes. She knew that he knew.
"Ken," she said.
He raised his chin and his eyes hardened.
"Come here."
His face was paler than usual, but she attributed that to the chill in the air and not to any unseen psychological cause. She hissed into the phone, "You will speak to your son, and you will do it now." In a more normal tone of voice she added, "Ken, come here."
After what seemed an interminable period during which the boy did not move, Ken unfolded himself into a standing position and crossed the room. His face was blank and expressionless, but his eyes seemed unusually shadowed.
"Talk to your father."
Mrs. Ichijouji held the receiver out encouragingly.
The young man accepted it in silence, eyes still fixed on his mother. When his father began to speak his gaze shifted, fell away, to stare at nothing at all.
Ken. Genki jai?
"I'm fine, Papa," he whispered into the phone. He missed his mother's sharp look. He couldn't hear himself speak.
He didn't know the words were in English.
Tenki ga ii?
"Yes. It's fine."
Okaasan wa genkisou da ne.
"She's fine."
Aa sou.... The man trailed off into silence. Ken stood immobile, waiting.
Saa, ima Eikoku no yoru jya. Dakara samui de aru, kono fuyu.
"It's not winter yet," he whispered.
Kono tenki wa fuyu no tenki no you ni. The man laughed. Ken did not.
"It doesn't feel like winter here," he said. His father fell silent.
Ken, he said after nearly a full minute of dead silence had passed. Ken, gomen. Honto ni gomennasai. Moshi Toukyou ni modoru no koto ga dekereba...modoru. Demo boku....boku wa....
"It's alright, Papa," Ken murmured into the phone. "It's okay."
Ken, ima boku wa sugoku nemui. Kimi, daijoubu?
"I'm fine. I'll be fine."
Sore jyaa...oyasumi.
"Good night, Papa."
The phone clicked quietly, there was a brief pause, and then the dial tone began. Ken stood in place, staring blankly at nothing, until his hand opened slightly, apparently of its own accord. The receiver slipped from his hand and struck the floor, bounced once, and lay on the carpet. He looked at it impassively.
Mrs. Ichijouji stared at her son.
**
We perceive our environment through the window of language.
Miyako grinned. When her IM box beeped at her she didn't even swear. Until she looked at the username.
"Dammit, Daisuke, I'm trying to work here!"
Miyako? Turn on your visual. I can't see you.
"It's broken," she lied. "What do you want?"
I need a favor.
"Well sure, that's what I'm here for, after all. I have nothing more important to do than satisfy your perpetual need for perverse and twisted favors. That's what I am, the magical favor-fairy."
Get bent, Miyako.
"Oh! Oh! Now he insults me!" She spun around and raised her arms, as though appealing to an unseen audience. The white walls made no response.
"Listen," she said, spinning back to the mic, "I don't need this right now. I have enough on my plate, you know? I have a life."
I seriously doubt that.
"Well, then, I have schoolwork. Which is important to me, though I'd imagine that's something you really aren't capable of comprehending."
Miyako, come on. Please? I'll love you forever.
"You mean you won't love me if I don't do this for you?"
This is a guarantor of my undying affection.
"Undying debt is more like it. You know how many favors you owe me?"
I'll make you a CD.
"Daisuke, although this may be news to you, the fact is that all debts cannot in fact be repaid merely through the judicious application of music."
Even if it's really really good music?
Miyako sighed.
"What's the favor?"
I want you to get me into Ken's room.
**
He was staring out the window, his hands in his lap. People, buildings, streets, signs, blurred by as they drove, and Ken's face registered none of it. Mrs. Ichijouji was watching her son closely. They had been driving for over twenty minutes now and her son had not spoken the entire time. In fact, he hadn't spoken for hours now.
"Ken?" she ventured, when they reached an intersection and slowed to a halt. Ken's eyes did not flicker in her direction.
"Ken," she tried again. The boy had a listlessness about him that unnerved her. His eyes were fully open, but empty, and his head was tilted to one side. He seemed to be staring out the window and she fervently hoped that he was, in fact, doing just that.
"Look, Ken," she said, reaching out to him. Her fingers brushed against his leg and he stirred, turned his head and raised his eyes to look at her. Her gaze fell to his hands, still lying in his lap; not clasped, or folded, simply lying with the palms facing each other, fingers curled in slightly.
"Look, Ken," the woman continued, over the alarm bells in her head. She pointed. "Birds."
Her son looked.
Beyond the two-way overpass that bridged the intersection were a series of power lines. Black crows, large crows, were congregating there. They and wheeled over the street like a black cloud, moving in tandem, flowing over the air.. Mrs. Ichijouji saw Ken's lips and eyes twitch. A smile flickered across his face. It vanished just as quickly, but she was happy that it had been there at all.
**
"You want to what?"
Get into Ken's room. What, are you going deaf?
"Daisuke, you don't need me for that! Just go over to his house!"
Wow, Miyako, thank you for pointing that out for me, I never would have thought of that for myself. You think I didn't try that already?
"So, then, you went over and couldn't get in?"
Pretty much. I couldn't even catch a glimpse of him.
"Why so interested in seeing him now, after all this time? The way things ended I wouldn't think--"
I just feel like...I don't know. I can't leave things the way they are. It was all screwed up. I wanna make amends, I guess. So, I don't know, I can get on with things.
"Don't you think you're being a tad selfish?"
Probably.
"Hmm." The girl leaned forward and rested her chin in her palm. "So this getting into Ken's room business, I'm guessing it involves more than the mundane actions which the human body naturally engages in."
Ummm...yes?
"I mean you want to do something with the Digital World."
Oh. Yes.
"Why don't you do it yourself?"
Tried already. It's no good. He's got defenses around his gate like you wouldn't believe.
"You can't hack it yourself?"
I'm flattered. Of course not.
"Then get Koushirou."
Too upstanding.
"Excuse me? Are we talking about the same Koushirou here? The guy who did eight months for, heh, 'redistributing' Egawa wetware to his little buddies in Taipei? I still don't know how the hell he got back in school--"
This is different. This is personal stuff. I already asked him.
"Figures. I'm always the second choice."
C'mon, when I was talking to him I was thinking of you.
In spite of herself she smiled.
**
"Where are we going, Mama?"
The question was so sudden she nearly turned the car of the road in surprise. Her eyes flickered to her son, then away, saw the way he was looking at her, the mild curiosity on his face.
"Just to see someone, dear."
"Not another doctor, Mama."
She sighed. It had been a long time since they'd been to the hospital. She hated the thought of taking her boy back there.
"No, Ken. Not another doctor."
"The same one, then."
"I'm sorry, sweetie. If there was anything else--"
He turned away, back to the window. She could see his reflection, though, saw his brow furrow. Looked down and saw his pale fingers twitch, just slightly.
"Please, I don't want to," Ken said after a moment.
"I know. Neither do I--"
"You don't know. Please."
"Ken, there isn't any other way!"
"Mama, please," he shut his eyes. "I don't want to. I'll be good. Please."
"Hush, now, it'll be alright," she said with desperate calm. She turned down a residential street, beneath the shadows of the state-planted sakura trees, bare now. "I promise it'll be alright."
"They won't keep me there."
"Of course not," Mrs. Ichijouji said quietly.
Ken looked down.
"Of course not," he whispered.
**
The creation of an artificial reality through the means of language allows us to manipulate that reality.
Miyako flicked her fingers over the keyboard.
"I'm in the middle of writing a paper," she said, and pursed her lips at herself. Even she wasn't convinced.
What's it about?
She sighed audibly this time, and rolled her eyes, an effect that was entirely lost on Daisuke due to the absence of a visual connection.
"It's about language, and reality."
Huh?
"I didn't expect you to understand."
Read me a little.
"Hell no."
C'mon, please? I just want to see what an intelligently written line of bs sounds like.
"Fine. Ahem," she sat up straighter, as though presenting to an audience. "Ummm...the perception of reality as something that can be shaped is further enhanced by the existence of the Internet."
Wow. I have no idea what you just said.
"Look, if I'm going to do this for you I'm going to need access to a better machine. Faster hardware, better software. You get where I'm going with this?"
Yeah. I'll see you in five minutes.
"Right. 'Bye, Daisuke."
She turned the computer off.
___________________________________________
A/N: I apologize for my bad Japanese. Here are the translations. If anybody cares to correct my grammar, please do, preferably in an e-mail. I welcome the chance to make corrections.
Ken. Genki jai? Ken. Are you well?
Tenki ga ii? Is the weather good?
Okaasan wa genkisou ne. Your mother seems well.
Aa sou.... Oh, really....
Saa, ima Eikoku no yoru jya. Dakara samui de aru, kono fuyu. It's night here. This is a cold winter.
Kono tenki wa fuyu no tenki no you ni. This weather is like winter.
Ken, gomen. Honto ni gomennasai. Moshi Toukyou ni modoru dekereba...modoru. Demo boku....boku wa....Ken, I'm sorry. If I could come back to Tokyo...I'll come back. But, I...I...
Ken, ima boku wa sugoku nemui. Kimi, daijoubu? Ken, I'm very sleepy. Will you be alright?
Sore jyaa...oyasumi. Okay then...good night.