Ok so this is by far not my best chapter and might be a bit dull but it lays down a lot of things that has to be said. And I do want you guys to get in Maricella's head for a litle because although the story will revolve around Santana and Rachel, Maricella will play a large part and have her own little story line. Hope you guys enjoy and give me suggestions or comments, I like those haha. ENJOY!.. I may post the next chapter later today or tomorrow as an apology for my absence. :)

Disclaimer: I do not own glee or the cast. All I own are my Idea and Maricella Lopez.

Chapter 3: Cousins

Maricella's Pov.

It was two o'clock in the morning when I heard a scream piercing from Santana's room, I shot up from my bed and ran to her as fast as I could. Ever since the accident Santana has been having these nightmares.. The type that knocks her wind out and leaves her shaking. By the time I got to her room she had woken up, tears streaming and she was clutching her pillow for dear life. After the first time I learned not to ask about it; I just hold my cousin allow her tears to fall and once her breathing evens out I lay her down and decide to lay next to her.

"Mari will they ever go away?"

"Santana I promise you I will try my best to get them to go away ok?, maybe talking to someone about it will help Santi" I feel bad for all the pressure I been putting on her but my life hasn't been easy either and I know people like us don't open up to just a familiar face, we need someoneworth the risk.. I just hope Rachel is worth it for her because she really is her last hope. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry I haven't been making it easier, I should of just let it be, I just don't think Rachel deserves what you do to her just because you are hurt. Get me prima?"

"Yea.. you're right she doesn't, Why do you care though, I mean you just met her?"

"I don't know Santana I just do, Santana she looked scared to talked to you when she walked up and I had to help her from teasing today at lunch and I heard she got a slushy to the face in gym.. Santana she just she seems so full of hope and pride why are you killing it when you admire it just as much as everyone should?"

''I don't know I have so much going on and I just don't see how she could help." Santana sits up and looks at me for the first time.

"Who's Finn?"

"Eww the man-child?"

"I heard she's going out with someone named Finn"

"They got back together?"I noticed her face fall and her walls visibly built as her back straightened out. "They broke up, he's going out with Quinn, or he's single I don't know nor do I care but she couldn't be that stupid and go back with him."

"San I'm just letting you know what I heard"

"Whatever thats what straight girls do they go out with idiots"

"Straight girls?"

"Mari I think I'm gay..." a laugh escapes her as I try my best to fight mine.

"You're gay?.. seriously?. I had no idea.."

"Fuck you"

"Ok, Ok maybe I had an idea you could be." The familiar lopez laugh fills the room before I decided to speak again. "that doesn't save you from idiots tho San." "Girls are just as idiots as guys, with you as exhibit A."

"Fuck you why am I an idiot?"

"You think Berry's straight."

"What are talking about? She isI You just said it your self you might be dating Finnocence which is beyond straight it's also stupid. He's such an asshole to her"

"And you're not?" Her eyes darted to the floor, it hurt her and I knew it would but she had to hear it. "Look I know it's different but I just want you to realize if she really is as amazing as you feel she is you need to start treating her as so, all your bullshit aside. And she was checking us out for like a whole minute before she even approached. And she was looking hard."

"She's straight, it doesn't matter it could be comparing or some shit"

"Have you asked her?"

"Are you fucking kidding me, me Santana Lopez just casually asking the school freak about her sexual orientation wouldn't work unless it's followed by an insult or I'd be the new school creep.

"Fine I'll ask you'll just be in the premises, I'll let her know I'm gay and slip in what she is you know the whole, 'I'm gay, does that bother you thing'"

"Um M Rachel has been raised by gay dads I think it'll be kind of hard for her to have anything against that" She laughs at my idea falling part however Rachel doesn't know I know that so it should still be fine.

"Rachel doesn't know I know that."

"True.. so what time is it I exhausted"

"it's three thirtyish, I'm going to sleep"

"Mari?"

"Yea Santi?"

"Do you think it's my fault too?" It kills me to know a crazy night could change so many lives. Manny died that night but Santana she broke. I try to meet her eyes, of course I know it's no body's fault but those who pulled the trigger.. but how does someone convince some one of that if they are already convinced of the opposite.

"No, Santi I was there too, it wasn't our fault"

"I took him M I took him, I told him it would be ok that it'd be fun Mari I lied to my parents.. I killed my little brother Mari how do you look it to my eyes and not hate me." her breathing begins to scatter and out of nowhere I hum trying to calm her down the way my grandmother use to. Ofcourse it worked.

"It was a crazy situation no one could had predicted. He loved you he would never blame you why do you think it's your fault. Tio and Tia they are just hurt but they are wrong Santi I promise ok?" I know she doesn't believe me but she nods anyways and curls into the sheets.

"Can you hold me tonight just so I can sleep" I wrap my arms around her to provide the security she needs. I'm not dumb I know soon the grasp of her cousin won't be enough but it'll have t do for now..

"I love you Cuz, lets sleep, I got a Berry to catch in the morning"

"Excuse? You don't wanna go there M as much as I love you.. I'd snap your neck." She lets it out with a chuckle that lets me know i'll get my cousin back. Rachel would give me our Santana back.

"I thought you said she was straight?"

"We about to find out" we both smile at that one. I'm so tired I have a to fight to keep my eyes open but while we are on the whole gay or straight conversation I throw the question that's been on my mind all day."

"So Quinn?"

"What about her Cella?"

"Is she gay?"

"Quinn? Quinn "The Christian Princess" Fabray? Gay?" Her howling laughter is really starting to piss me off.. "Go to sleep Mari before you hurt yourself."

"Fuck you.. you thought Rachel was straight, What the fuck do you know?"

"I know Quinn hun, Rachel's a virgin, Quinn spent last yr with a baby bump.."

"Oh and you never fucked a guy?" "Doesn't make you straight now does it?

"Fuck you sleep before your ass ends up on the floor,.. oh and Fabray? Soo straight, it's scary" She can't be I know how she looked at me, she just can't be.. Maybe she just hasn't even noticed, Maybe she needs help realizing. I feel the smirk as it forms on my lips.. I am a bit giving..