A/N: I feel no guilt for using that quote. I can't even remember the source.

Disclaimer: I do not own Zombies, Run!

Perspectives

Chapter Three: I vividly remember every embarrassing thing I've said or done since 2008.

(Sometimes he wished his heart knew how to listen to his brain. It tended to know better.)

He swiped at the sweat on his brow with his shirt, doing his best not to smile too largely at Three. Maybe he wasn't the best person to ask advice from, but it wasn't as if he had many options.

"That's all you need to do. Why did you even ask for help anyway?"

"I'm sorry. You seem to have lost me."

"Oh come off it! It can't be that hard. Just go get nice and sweaty and take your shirt off in front of her! I mean, don't take this the wrong way, but I've seen you in the showers. If I swung that way, I'd jump you."

"So your idea," he said slowly, needing to clarify what the obviously insane man was telling him, "is for me to find my potential partner," and leaving the 's' of that word was hard, "and just start stripping."

"Yes."

Oh. Well then. That might not have made sense of anything really.

"In fact, take off your shirt right now. I believe a demonstration is in order for you to properly see the effect."

Sighing, he did as ordered, and then laughed as the other man growled at him, hands made into claws.

"You're crazy, but thanks I think?" he mumbled and grinned, offering a small wave.

As he turned he came face to faces with his well, there had to be a better word than crushes. That seemed too much like something a pre-teen girl would think. Infatuations maybe?

He clutched his shirt to his chest, feeling far more naked and venerable than the situation probably warranted and did his best not to stumble over a simple "Hello Jack. Hello Eugene."

They stared, blank faced and said nothing.

He ran, ears still burning with embarrassment. Just what had he been thinking? He knew he never had a chance, but the blank looks Jack and Eugene gave him and the lack of a return greeting stung more than he thought they would.

Arh! Stupid, stupid, stupid! Why was he such a stupid idiot? Why did he always make such a fool of himself?

Why did he listen to Three in the first place?

Who would want to date a janitor anyway?

Fun Fact: In The Runner's Guide, Runner Three is listed as a wise-ass.