Happy Homophobia Land!

By: Yukura

Chapter 3: That's Hot

Disclaimer: Teh Kingdom Hearts is not teh mine.

Pairings: Riku/Sora Axel/Roxas Cloud/Leon Yuffie/Aerith

Warnings: Yaoi. Some insanity.

A/N: Hey, wow. I'm done on time. I write like half this Monday and thought I was doing pretty good. Then I did nothing but read and watch anime on Tuesday. So I wrote the rest today. Bleh.

And now is being a meanie, so hopefully this will actually come up Wednesday.

I hope this is ok. Writing fanfiction makes me nervous.

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Riku's POV

"Hey Riku how ya doin' why does your locker look so dented?" Sora said, standing by my locker as I got my books for the morning classes.

"Hi Sora. I'm ok. And I got mad at my locker and kicked it a couple of times," I said, grinning at the brunet.

He laughed. Then Roxas came out of practically nowhere and complained, very loudly, "I don't wanna go to gym!"

Sora smirked, which was a really weird thing to see. "Why? You don't have to worry about losing anything since Yuffie already castrated you the other day." Wow. That was something weird to hear Sora say.

Roxas glared at him. Sora, apparently, didn't care. It makes sense, though, as Roxas is really not scary. I mean, Selphie is scarier than Roxas. Barney is scarier than Roxas, but then again, Barney is pretty scary.

"Oh, Selphie drew this picture and she told me to give it to you. I think it's supposed to be you and her and Zac Efron," Sora said, handing me a piece of paper with a really cute drawing. It had me holding hands with Selphie and we were talking to Zac Efron. (Who happened to have hearts floating off of himself to Selphie. Quite a talent he's got there.)

Roxas looked over my shoulder. "Who's Selphie?"

"My little sister. She's got a huge crush on Riku," Sora said.

"Aw, that's cute. Bet her little heart is broken that he's gay," Roxas said.

I laughed. "Actually, it was more like, 'At least you could marry Sora so you'd be my brother.'" Roxas starting cracking up.

Sora turned really red. "She's so stupid sometimes," he whined.

I grinned. "Not really. I think your sister's got a pretty good point, Sora. And you'd make a lovely bride." Actually, Sora in a wedding dress sounds kind of oddly cute.

Sora pouted at me and punched me in the arm. "You're an idiot!"

"Yes, but I'm a hot idiot," I said, smirking at him. He stuck his tongue out at me. Great, now my mind is coming up with some really dirty stuff. Good job, mom, slipping the drugs into my food and drinks. Now I'm a psycho. A perverted psycho.

I had just shut my locker when Roxas, being the extreme klutz, managed to run randomly into Sora, who then fell and knocked me over. And landed right on top of me.

I started blushing and Sora was really red. "Uh..." he said, but didn't make any move to get up. (I sort of was hoping he would since I was about ready to like molest him but then again, I didn't want him to get up either.)

Roxas finally noticed us and stared cracking up. Sora got up really quickly and backed away from me. Good job there, Roxas.

Roxas said, "It didn't look like you minded that very much, Sora."

Sora glared at him. "Shut up or I'll finish the job for Yuffie." Roxas's grin disappeared.

"I'd better go to home room," Sora said and he walked away really quickly, still blushing.

Wow. "Hey Roxas, next time you randomly trip try and make sure Sora lands on me again," I said, getting up finally. Roxas's grin returned and he nodded.

"Certainly."

Kairi's POV

I was standing in the hallway and watching Riku and Sora so obviously flirting. I'm getting so tired of this. It's not fair! Sure, it's not like I shouldn't have been expecting it. I know Sora likes guys. He told me once, and I was so upset that I told him how he couldn't be. How that was a sin and all sorts of other things. And then he told me he wasn't anymore. That it was just a phase. I knew better. But I told him I believed it.

And now- now there is the gorgeous, gay, and obviously-into-Sora Riku. What am I supposed to expect out of Sora now? That he'll really decide to become straight and fall for me?

I have every right to be jealous, don't I? I'm the girl! Boys are supposed to like girls and no matter how girly Riku's hair is he's not a girl.

And it is a sin! It says so in the Bible. It's not like I'm making this up...

I don't have to let Sora do this. I can save him. But...how?

I should do what Irvine says. Hard love. Make fun of him, pull pranks, and all that stuff until he realizes what he's doing wrong. Or at the very least is too afraid to go near Riku anymore.

Actually, it's a pretty good idea. And so I turn to Namine, trying to hide how upset I am with a smile. "Hey, Namine, you think maybe if we pull some pranks or something on Sora he'll stop hanging around Riku?"

She looked thoughtful. "Yeah, I guess. But we don't want to be too mean, it's Sora, after all."

I nodded. "Of course we won't. I would never want to really be mean to Sora, but someone's got to return him to his senses."

Namine looked uncertain but then she nodded, giving me a small smile. "Sure, but let's have Irvine or someone do it so that Sora doesn't blame us."

I smiled. That was perfect. Now Sora wouldn't even get mad at me. I mean, I have to do this so I shouldn't have to deal with any consequences. I have to get my Sora back.

"Great idea! We'd better get to home room. You'll talk to Irvine, right?" I asked and Namine nodded. After waving goodbye, I started walking to my home room.

I got to home room and sat down next to Sora. I didn't say anything because I was feeling, despite how it wasn't my fault, a little guilty about what I was doing. Sora noticed something was wrong so he asked, "Um, hey, Kairi. What's wrong?" he asked, giving me one of adorable questioning looks.

"Maybe the fact my best friend's decided he'd rather hang out with some queer than me," I said, scowling.

Sora looked surprised and completely innocent. "Huh? Kairi, I've been hanging out with you! I'm allowed to have other friends, you know."

I glared at him. "I don't mind you having friends. It's boyfriends I'm worried about."

Sora had a guilty look in his eyes for just a second and than glared. "I'm not gay! I told you I wasn't! Why don't you believe me?"

I saw the look and couldn't help but let my anger take over. "Because I've seen the way you look at him. There's something wrong with you," I said.

Sora gave me such a dark look. It scared me, just a little. The teacher had come over. "Is there a problem here?"

Sora looked at me for a second before turning to the teacher and saying, without even the littlest smile, "No. Everything's just peachy." He said the last words with such contempt that I noticed the teacher was surprised.

I was going to have to talk to Namine again. This was beyond what I'd imagined.

I guess being as mean as we can is the only way to go.

Sora's POV

It was time for lunch and I was waiting in line, kind of in a bad mood. For a couple reasons. First off, there had been that really embarrassing scene this morning. It was awkward enough that I landed on Riku- but then I didn't get up! I'm supposed to be straight, and last I checked, straight boys, no matter how hot the other guy is, don't lay on top of other guys.

And well, the next thing I had been kind of expecting, but it still was really annoying. Irvine, who's Namine's boyfriend, and some of the other guys I used to hang out with have started bugging me about hanging out with Riku. Nothing too drastic, just shutting my locker on me and book checking me. But still, it gets on my nerves. And I can't sit with Kairi today because they'll probably keep saying stuff until I like, go and insult Riku. Which I won't do, cause Riku's my friend too!

After I paid for my lunch, I went and sat down by Riku. "Hey Riku," I said, smiling at him even though wasn't really in a good mood.

At first he looked surprised but then he smiled back. "Hi Sora," he said, then he looked at me weirdly and asked, "Hey, everything ok?"

Wow! He noticed that I was kind of down. Maybe Selphie's right about him really liking me. "I'm fine. Just some people've been bugging me lately, that's all," I said, smiling. It wasn't really all that big of a deal and I'm sure that Irvine and them will stop eventually.

Riku raised his eyebrow, sort of like he wanted me to say who, and why. Yuffie said, "Who? I want to beat them up!"

I grimaced. Nobody deserves that kind of punishment! "Nobody important," I said, not wanting to get anyone, especially Yuffie, involved.

Roxas suddenly said, "Why do witches think they're funny?"

I gave him a weird look and Riku raised his eyebrow and asked, "Why?"

Roxas grinned widely, "Every time they look in the mirror, it cracks up."

The joke was really stupid but I couldn't help but start laughing really hard and so did Yuffie and RIku. I think I may have even seen a smile on Leon's face.

Roxas's joke cheered me up quite a bit so I was in a pretty good mood by the end of lunch. I was taking my tray up when Irvine decided to bug me some more.

"So, you sat with the queers today? Maybe you're starting to become one!" he said, raising his eyebrows.

I glared at him. "Can't you just leave me alone?"

He laughed. "Nope. I can't. I can't let you faggots just do whatever you want."

"I'm not a faggot," I said, knocking the garbage of my tray and throwing my tray on the thing angerily, getting a glare from the lunch lady.

I started going back to my table when Irvine said, laughing, "Whatever you say, Rainbow Brite."

He was really starting to get on my nerves. "Stop it already! I'm not gay!" I said, getting sort of into a fighting positon.

He rolled his eyes. "In case you forgot, you're Sora. You couldn't actually hurt me." And with that, he picked me up (while I did my best to get away) and threw me into the garbage can.

I kicked until the garbage can fell over and got out. Then I jumped on Irvine and tried to punch his face into the back of his head.

The teacher in charge of watching us during lunch ran over and pulled me off him. "What's going on here?" he asked.

"Stupid Irvine threw me in the stupid garbage can!" I said, glaring at both of them.

The teacher seemed surprised. "Really? I didn't notice it."

"Of course you didn't. You're a pervert and was too busy staring at Lulu's chest," I said, as rudely as I could. (I wasn't sure he was the pervert teacher at first but then I saw him blush.)

"Go to the office, you two," he said, letting go of me. I glared at him, then Irvine, and stomped off to the office, Irvine close behind.

That stupid jerk. Now I smell like fish sticks.

Cloud's POV

I was at my locker sometime in the afternoon and as I shut my locker I realized that the Leon guy actually wasn't staring at me right then. It was weird. Maybe he got over his crush?

Then I saw him, walking over to Irvine. Oh, yeah. Maybe he's getting revenge for that Sora kid? (Which, by the way, proves how weird Irvine is. Throwing somebody in the garbage? Weird.) I guess Leon is sort of friends with him. Leon doesn't seem that friendly with him, but maybe that's just how he is.

Leon went over and pinned Irvine to the wall and I could hear Leon said, "Why are you doing stuff to Sora?"

Irvine looked kind of scared (I would be too!) but grinned anyway. "Cause he's hanging out with you queers."

Leon knocked him harder against the locker. "You won't do anything else to Sora. You hear me?" he said, and Irvine nodded vigorously, obviously terrified. Leon continued, "You'd better stay away from him or you'll be sorry."

Irvine nodded and Leon let him go. Irvine ran down the hallway and was out of sight in a second. Leon just stood there.

God...that's hot. Leon. Wow.

I went over to where Leon was and leaned back against the locker next to him. "Hey, you're Leon, right?'

Suddenly the ferocious Leon became timid. Blushing, even. If it weren't for who he was, I'd say it was cute.

"Yeah. I am," he said, staring at me like I was an angel or something.

I didn't bother introducing myself since I figured he already knew who I was. "That was pretty cool, you sticking up for Sora like that," I said, smiling sweetly at him.

He blushed. "It's nothing. I'd do that for any of my friends."

"Still, it's cool," I said.

"Yeah," he said, shrugging a little.

"Why do you always stare at me?" I asked, trying to sound casual but really hoping he said that it was because he liked me or something.

He started. "Uh..." Obviously no idea what to say. "You have a cool haircut," he finished lamely.

It was so ridiculous that I couldn't help but start laughing. "My haircut?"

He was really embarrassed, red cheeks and all, and then he got defensive and started glaring at me. "Yeah. You have cool hair. It's not that big of a deal."

I grinned. "Sure, whatever. You have cool hair too."

He just stood there, red as could be and not saying a word.

I fished in my pocket for the piece of paper I'd written my phone number on. (Not remembering who I'd planned on giving it to, but Leon would be just fine. I think Aerith had wanted it so we could meet to work on our science project.) "Hey, I've got to get to class now, but here's my number. Call me if you'd like."

He looked at me surprised. "I might."

I raised my eyebrow. "Might?"

"I might have better things to do," he said, in a strange sort of joking tone, especially since he wasn't smiling.

"I'm not first priority?" I said, pretend pouting.

"Well, I guess you are, unless you get a different haircut," he said, smiling a little. Oh my god. Leon just smiled at me. Leon just smiled. At me.

I grinned at him, starting to go to my class and right before I went around the corner I did the "call me" sign with my hand.

I really hope he calls me.

Sora's POV

It was the end of the day and I was in a very bad mood. I smelled like fish sticks, most of my friends were mad at me, and my parents would be furious about me punching somebody, even if they did through me in the garbage first.

I slammed my locker shut and was starting to leave when Kairi came over. "Hey, Sora. Are you over ignoring me now?"

"I wasn't ignoring you. You're just being mean," I said, glaring at her.

"Oh, come on, Sora. You're being immature," she said, her hands on her hips.

She muttered, to herself but still loud enough for me to hear, "I guess Irvine didn't work right."

"Didn't work right? What are you talking about?" I asked, confused, and then I realized something. "You did that! You told him to shut my locker on me and throw me in the garbage."

She sighed. "Well, not exactly. But, Sora, you're hanging out with sinners."

"Whatever," I said, and just walked away. Kairi is my friend, but sometimes she can be really annoying.

I went out to wait for Selphie and I was really hoping Riku would be there. Riku always managed to cheer me up.

Luckily, he was there, sitting down. I sat down next to him. "Hey Riku!"

He smiled. "Hi. You ok from the whole lunch ordeal?"

I nodded. "Yeah. 'Cept, Kairi's been getting all mad at me for no reason," I said, pouting.

"Well, don't worry about it. It's probably just PMS. She'll get over," he said.

"You sure?" I asked, looking right at his lovely ocean eyes.

"Course," he said, messing up my hair a little. That usually bugged me, but I guess it's ok, as long as it's Riku.

Then a high-pitched squeal came and Selphie jumped on top of me. "HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII Sora!"

I laughed. "Hey Selphie!"
She looked at me, grinning, and then got off of me and jumped onto Riku. "Hi Riku too." Riku said hi back and then Selphie looked at me, making a face. "Ew, you stink."

I nodded. "Yeah, somebody threw me into the garbage can at school."

She looked at me with wide eyes. "Seriously?"

"Yeah."

"Did they get in trouble? Are you ok? Did you swear at them? I would've! Did you hit them? Or kick them? You should've kicked em! Who was it? Why'd they do it? Can I got kick them? Can we got throw them into the garbage can?" Selphie said, really quickly.
Riku looked at her thoughtfully. "Actually, that's a good idea."

I looked at him incredulously. "What?"

"Me, you, and Roxas can throw Irvine in the garbage tomorrow," he said.

I shook my head. "No, it'll just cause more problems." Riku looked kind of disappointed.

Selphie did too. "Oh, but it'd be good! You guys should! Tell him, Riku, since you're always right!"

"I think he's actually right, Selphie," he said, smiling at me.

She glared at him and jumped off his lap. "Meanie!"

I laughed and so did Riku. But then his mom came and he had to go home, waving bye to me and Selphie. But me especially!

He always makes things so much happier.

I'm going to have to do something about this crush.

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A/N: Review, please!

I've always wanted to throw somebody in one of the huge garbage cans we have in my school's cafeteria. It would probably be really fun.

Oh, and sad news! One of my cats got hit and died! I had three cats, Boris, the big fat fluffy guy, Kira, the over-energetic one, and Snickers, the sweet and cuddlely one. It was Snickers who got hit. Poor thing. :(

Well, review!