The story of the fern is truly a peculiar one. It all started one day when Tony needed a test subject, and since Bruce doesn't allow for human or animal testing (something to do with gamma, possibly) they had to find a plant. Even if this is New York, plant nurseries aren't open at one a.m. The only solution would be to "borrow" a plant.
For some reason the only plant available in the whole building belonged to Lucille "Baker" McCullough. Because they knew what would happen when she discovered the plant missing, they decided they would need to pin it on someone else. So back to the common room Bruce and Tony went.
When they reached the chosen floor, they saw their prey throwing darts at a poster of Loki.
"Bruce, I'm telling you, it would be the greatest prank ever!" Stark exclaimed, throwing his arms to emphasize "greatest".
"Tony, I'm starting to think that this might be a very bad idea. What happens if we can't replace it?" Bruce was actually starting to genuinely worry about this.
"Oh come on, Brucie! We'll be fine!" Tony patted Bruce on the back to reassure him. "Birdie!" he called.
"Tony, I'm kind of busy at the moment." Clint then threw the dart at the poster, nailing the pupil of Loki's left eye.
"Not as busy as you will be," Tony muttered conspiratorially. "Ah, yes, Barton, we all know that, but you see I bet Bruce that you couldn't commandeer Lucille's fern for us."
"If I 'commandeer' her fern, I run the risk of not getting any pie. She said she'd bring me one for later today," he commented as he gathered his darts from the wall.
"Nothing's going to happen. We'll put it back as soon as we're done. Besides, you're probably too much of a chicken. You were right, Brucie, the hawk is a chicken hawk. We should have gone with Natashalie." Tony sighed and turned to walk away, gripping Bruce's arm and dragging him along.
"Stark, you got yourself a thief. So, Lucille's fern?" Barton threw a repetition of the darts back at the poster, making a "C" on Loki's face.
"Yep," Stark grinned. Clint nodded and left the two scientists.
"Tony, I really don't think this is a good idea anymore..." Bruce sighed, exasperated, and cleaned his glasses.
"It'll be fine, buddy! Now come! To science!" Stark shouted and led the way back to the lab.
"Stark, Banner, I got the bush!" Clint burst into the lab with the fern under an arm. "So what's the deal with the shrub?"
"It's part of an experiment that's too advanced for your bird brain. However, you can stick around; it shouldn't take too long to complete." Tony replied nonchalantly. Bruce was steadily muttering about how this was a horrible idea.
"Tony, let's just put the plant back."
Tony didn't even bother looking up from gathering the items needed. "O.k., so this should repair any damage. Barton, come be a bird and destroy it!"
"Stark, be a little more creative with your insults; and I thought it was too difficult for my bird brain to understand?" Clint stayed sitting on the counter, watching the two scientists run about.
"Fine. Bruce!" And before Tony could say more Bruce interrupted with a resounding "no".
Tony, looking a bit surprised, shrugged and went about damaging the poor, helpless fern. The plant's leaves were being torn, ragged edges being left; roots being uprooted, acid being poured on it. Basically, anything that would destroy the poor fern was done to the helpless, little plant.
The three stood back to look at the plant, one looking proud, and the other two looking worried and a bit scared.
"Tony, this had better work, or else we're never going to get pie ever, like never ever again," Bruce starting pacing and cleaning his glasses, while Clint went back to his counter sitting.
"No one trusts me!" Stark threw his hands in the air. With that confession, Stark poured the healing concoction on the plant. Surprisingly; the chemicals worked; the fern's growth was rapid and it was soon back to its former glory. But the plant didn't stop growing; it grew to a size larger than expected for an office fern (which in this case was larger than a microwave).
"Well, that was to be expected, but Brucie! It worked!" Stark began to jump around and shout from happiness.
"To play God, a marvelous idea. Now, if you would please pardon me, I'm feeling a bit peckish." Our three heroes' jaws dropped as they watched the fern walk off on its leaf stems.
"Tony, I know I'm partially nuts; just please tell me I imagined that." Clint dragged his hands over his face.
"I think I'm of mind to agree with Clint. It was only supposed to heal the plant, but it…just…it…I don't even know." Bruce sat on a stool at a counter and dropped his head into his hands. "What a mess we're in now."
"Only one way to find out if we're crazy; let's go hunting, or spying in chicken hawk's case." Stark grabbed his fellow Avengers' arms.
Well, here's the third chapter. I hope everyone enjoys it!
I don't own anything, except for Lucille, Kari, and the fern.
Please review! And thank you for reading! And thanks to Lily Lindsey-Aubery for beta-ing!