Chapter 3 – Not Letting Go

As Nicole Miller sat across from Lt. Stillman, and Det. Lilly Rush, she knew that as surely as they were watching her after that announcement, they also had her figured out as a cold blooded killer; killing her friend Patty for that coveted role. But it wasn't so.

Twisting her hands together nervously, tears began to slide down her cheeks noiselessly as she stared at Lt. Stillman. He then said gently, "Miss Miller, I understand that this has been traumatic for you as well." He then handed her a tissue, which she took gratefully.

She nodded and then said softly, "What you and Det. Rush here don't understand is that in the fall of 1980, just months after Patty's death, I too left the ballet for good. I was cracking up; and afraid for my own health, I quit. I went to school and got my Bachelor's degree in education and became a school teacher. I teach kindergarten classes at Lyndon Elementary School in east Philadelphia."

Lilly and John were both startled to hear that, as that had not been made known; that Miss Miller had left the ballet. They had both assumed that she had continued on with a successful dance career.

Lilly reached over and put a hand over Miss Miller's and said softly, "We're both very sorry for the loss you've suffered, both personally and professionally."

Nicole wiped the tears from her eyes and said, "I know that you both probably think that I did it; that I had Patty killed. After all, I did take the coveted role, but somehow her death tainted it, and I never did get the personal satisfaction out of it that I should have, if I had gotten the role in the usual way. Let's face it, I did not get the role in the usual way. Dancers don't get murdered, but Patty did. I could never face her family after that either."

After a moment of silence, John said, "What do you mean, Miss Miller?"

She sighed and said, "Well I knew Patty's family pretty well; after she and I were apprenticed to the Pennsylvania Ballet, she and I became very good friends, best even. We did everything together, including class. Well I was orphaned at a young age, and taken in by a foster family, who spent the money on my ballet education and gave me a good, stable home life; eventually adopting me. My adopted name is Miller, originally I was born Nicole Price."

She sat for a moment, lost in silence; while John and Lilly sat there wondering about all the upsets that this woman had endured in her life.

Then she resumed and said, "...I was invited over to Patty's home for the weekend, about two weeks before Christmas of 1978. Patty knew about my sad history and that by now I had lost my adoptive parents as well. They had died when I was 16; killed in a car accident involving a drunk driver. I moved into the housing provided for ballet students and lived on my own ever since. Well I accepted and went to her house for that weekend. Her parents and siblings were just great to me. They accepted me as one of their own. In turn, I loved it there and thrived whenever I went. And they invited me back often."

Even though it was taking her some time to get to the point, Stillman had learned over the years of being a detective, to let the person take their time; not to rush their stories.

Nicole was lost in thought, as her memories came rushing back in, causing a crushing pain in her soul; and she lowered her head, sobbing softly. After a moment, she brushed the tears away and looked up to the detectives and said tearfully, "The night that Patty died, I had watched her as she left the theater, headed off into the dark. I didn't think that it was a good idea and thought that she should have taken Tony up on his offer to drive her home."

There was a pause and then John said, "Tony Galletti? The boyfriend?"

Nicole nodded and then said, "Yes, he had offered her a ride home but Patty had said that she would walk that evening, as she needed some solitude after the long and busy day of rehearsals, costume fittings, etc."

Then she let her eyes slide downward as she said softly, "I decided to follow her, as I knew that it wasn't safe, and besides I had wanted to talk to her about the ballet." Nicole wouldn't tell them how she had wanted to trade her role as the Bluebird Fairy for the understudy of Princess Aurora, in the hopes that if something had happened to Patty, she would be able to dance the role. How in the name of all that was good on earth, could she have ever dreamt that Patty would die that same evening?

At that piece of information, both John and Lilly sat upright. Lilly turned in her chair to face the distraught woman and said in a soothing voice, "Tell us what happened, Miss Miller."

Nicole could feel the trembling begin again, as it had often throughout the years, the cold feeling of death upon her. Then she said in a trembling voice, "I followed her but I was already about three or more blocks away from her, as she had left probably ten minutes or more before I got outside the theater door. Tony had said that she had headed out already. It was cold that night, I remember that much. It was supposed to start snowing later in the evening."

As she choked up again, Lilly said, "Would you care for something to drink Miss Miller? It might help."

Nicole glanced up through tear-filled eyes and said, "Yes that would be nice. Could I have a glass of cold water please?"

Lilly got up and said that she would go, but Stillman stood and said, "Lilly you stay

seated. I'll go and get Miss Miller her water." And as he left, he wondered whether he shouldn't send Lilly back home. After all, she wasn't quite over this flu thing that had been going around. She looked paler than usual and weak too.

After he left, Nicole turned to Lilly and said, "Det. Rush, I didn't see who killed her, but I found her; you can't imagine what that sight has done to me. I swear to you that I didn't kill her. After her death, I realized one thing; that the role that I had so coveted, just no longer meant anything to me, in fact the dance didn't either but I had to fulfill my contract which is why I stayed until September when it ran out."

When John returned with the water, he handed it to Miss Miller, and he could see that she was trembling still, her hands shaking violently.

Lilly said, "Boss, Miss Miller said that she is the one that found Patty that night, after she had decided to catch up and walk with Patty."

John Stillman stared at the woman and could see the fear, terror, loss and sadness all etched into one face. How could one human being endure so much, and for so long? Well it was up to him and his cold case detectives to solve this, and for Miss Miller's sake, and the family of the victim as well.

After she had finished her water, Nicole set the cup down, then stood up and said, "Well I don't know what else I can share with you, but please... please try to find out who did this to Patty. She didn't deserve to die that way; I lost a dear friend that night as well as a fellow dancer."

She then turned to leave, while John Stillman stood and walked her over to the door. At the door, he put a hand on her arm and said gently, "Miss Miller we'll do all that we can to solve this. Before you go however, do you know where her family is now?"

Nicole said, "Her mother and father still live in Rochester, New York; her brother Edward is a lawyer in New York City; her sister Rose is married and lives in Boston with her family, her married name is Whitman, I believe; and her sister Elizabeth is married as well and lives in Newport, Rhode Island and her married name is Evans. I believe my information is correct, however it's been many years since I last spoke with any of them."

John led her out the door and to the hallway where he handed her his card and said, "If you can think of anything else Miss Miller, or if you just need to talk, please give me a call. I'll be glad to talk to you any time."

She nodded and then turned and walked away, slowly and gracefully. Her memories following her, because she had never let go of them.