"For someone who doesn't like magic, you're very smiley today!" Flying Mint Bunny chirped from the front seat of the car.
"I love magic." England argued, not once taking his eyes off of the road. "It's one of the greatest hidden wonders of the world, and I am proud to be a part of it. It's those who wield it that I can't stand."
Flying Mint Bunny blinked and tilted her head as she mulled over the hypocritical statement. After all, England was one of the most powerful mages of all times. Literally. To say that he disliked those who wield magic would be saying that he disliked himself.
Then she shrugged her tiny shoulder, and then smiled. "It's nice to see you so happy. Thank you for taking me to Kings Cross." She cooed, and leaned back against the soft leather seat. The scene looked rather comical, with a winged bunny, who was not even tall enough to see over the dashboard, sitting patiently with a long black seat belt strapping her down. While the man with thick, caterpillar-like eyebrows sat hunched over in the driver seat.
England hummed in agreement. "It's been a long time since I've taken someone to Hogwarts. Hell, it's been a long time since I've been to Hogwarts. But no, I'm just going to escort you to the pillar. I won't be going to the platform. I have an important meeting with the Prime Minister."
"Oh? Is it about taxes?"
"It's about Black."
The bunny paused "...Sirius Black.."
"The very one. Unfortunately."
"He's a wizard..." Minty said, her enthusiasm dropping like a bowling ball. "He's a dangerous wizard." England gripped the wheel tighter and nodded.
"That's right. We're going to get him soon though, don't worry. Both the Wizards and the Muggles are all looking out for him. It'll only be a matter of time before He's in Azkaban again." England spared Minty a sideways glance. "You should be on your guard though. Just in case. And watch over Harry Potter too. He's Black's primary target."
Minty nodded in resolve "Don't worry England! Nothing's going to happen to any of my children!" She said as she folded her little arms, and puffed out her chest with pride. "Nope! They're all going to be safe with Professor Minty around!"
"I have no doubt that you are going to be a great, and well loved teacher."
"If Black shows up, I can get Even if Wizards don't take to kindly to magical creatures." England let out an empty chuckle escape him.
"Oh I'm not worried about that. Even the Ministry knows that Flying Mint Bunnies ought to be respected." Minty replied without skipping a beat. "Purebloods value my kind's knowledge on ancient and powerful magic far too much to discriminate against us."
"Right you are Minty. Right you are."
Minty perked up as an idea hatched in her mind. "You should come visit me sometimes! I can talk to Dumbledore, and we could get you a room right next to mine, and then you can see all of the magical wonders at Hogwarts! You can even come to my class sometimes and help teach it!" She rattled on and on, getting more and more excited with every word that left her lips.
That being said, the small smile on England's face grew flatter and thinner, until he was looking out the windshield with a forlorn expression.
"Oh I don't know about going to Hogwarts. I haven't even been to Diagon Ally since before the First World War." England muttered. And he was right. England hadn't gone anywhere near Diagon Ally or even Hogsmead over half a century. Not even when Minty started drawing out plans and writing long lists of things she needed to get for her brand new teaching position at Hogwarts did England volunteer to buy the supplies. Although that didn't mean Minty didn't try to convince her dearest nation to help collect her magical supplies.
Instead Wales had dropped by, feel guilty at having been caught plotting to kidnap England, offered to go out and buy everything that Minty needed. The winged bunny would have gone herself, but she would have been very out of place in a shopping district dedicated to witches and wizards and not magical creatures. She would have had to go to the Canadian Wizarding World for something like that, and there was simply no time for her to hop across the pond.
Nope, there was too much too do in too little time.
Oh, Minty was so excited for this new adventure that she couldn't sit still. When England first proposed the idea, Minty wasn't sure that she heard him correctly.
Her? A history professor? The idea was laughable.
But apparently, England wasn't joking. At all.
It took some time, but Minty finally agreed and wrote a letter to the Headmaster of Hogwarts herself. It took no less than two hours for her to receive a reply that confirmed that she was officially the new Hogwarts Professor of Magical History. No interviews required. Just a signature on a contract and a couple of medical files.
Which was odd, now that Minty thought about it. Why would the Headmaster of one of the greatest schools in Europe just accept someone as a teacher without meeting with them first, or seeing a record that shows that the applicant actually has experience in the field. Hell, Minty wasn't even sure if Dumbledore was even aware that she was a Flying Mint Bunny.
However, all logical questions of how and why she was able to get this job so easily flew over her head when she received the letter.
Minty was going to be a Professor.
Minty was going to be a respectable teacher
Minty was going to be a mentor and a role model to hundreds of little children.
Minty was going to spread the knowledge of the past to the far corners of the world.
Minty had no idea what she was doing.
What did she know about teaching a class fool of hormonal teenagers? Absolutely nothing! Oh sure, she knew a lot about history. She has been England's faithful companion with an untold amount of centuries. But knowing the subject inside and out didn't exactly translate to great teaching skills.
After Minty finished up her third consecutive frantic rant, England sighed and trotted down to the basement.
The very same basement where the nation practiced his magic once upon a time. Well, Minty wouldn't call it a basement per say.
More like an underground lair.
The point was, that it was big, it was old, and it was bursting to the brim with ancient magical relics from the ages.
No more than five minutes later, England heaved four heavy boxes up the stairs before letting them drop onto the floor of the living room. There were neat stacks of leather bound, hardcover, and paperback books in each box.
They were all copies of textbooks from universities all over the country that detailed different methods of teaching. Both magical, and muggle. England let Minty borrow them to help her get started with her lesson plan.
"Minty," England said, breaking the Flying Mint Bunny away from her thoughts. "When are you supposed board the train?"
Minty glanced up at the small digital clock on the dashboard. "The train leaves in twenty minutes, but I want to be on the train at least ten minutes in advance."
England nodded. "Right, so we should get there in about five minutes if we don't encounter any more traffic. Do you have everything?"
"I think so."
"Boarding pass?"
"Right here."
"Hogwarts: A History"
"Yup."
"Quills and Parchment?"
"Yes, and yes."
"Year supply of marshmallows?"
"How can I forget them?"
"Do you remember where you're supposed to go?"
"Yes, I do. I go through the pillar to platform 9 3/4, and then I find Remus Lupin with whom I will be riding the train with, then I will board the train."
England let out a sigh of relief, "Good, good. You have everything, we're going to get to Kings Cross on time, I'm just going to drop you off at the pillar and then be on my way. Nothing's going to go wro-"
SCREEETCH
England slammed on the breaks. He violently jerked forward and hit the car horn with his forehead, causing a long and irritating honk to pierce the air. Minty hung on to the seatbelt like her life depended on it. Because it probably did.
Without saying a word, England angrily undid his seat belt and threw the car door open. The winged bunny wiggled out of her own seat belt, and flew out of the car.
"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING, YOU ASSHAT?!" England screamed at the red headed women who stood in front of the car with a murderous expression on her face.
"WELL HOW ELSE WAS I SUPPOSED TO STOP THE CAR? HUH?" She yelled back with her arms crossed. An Irish accent seeping into her words.
"Normal people do not jump in front of moving vehicle, I don't know what made you think that was a bloody good idea!" England hissed back. "Now, what do you want Ireland? If you haven't noticed, I HAVE SOMEWHERE TO BE."
Ireland glared at her brother. "I need your fucking rabbit."
"Excuse me?"
"Your rabbit with wings. I need it."
"I'll have you know that Minty is very busy at the moment, so please. Try again in nine months."
"Minty!" The women barked, causing the Flying Mint Bunny to jump in fright. "I need your help."
"Oh, Um," Minty started. "I'm supposed to be at Kings Cross in a couple of minutes- Eep!" Ireland reached out and grabbed Minty out of the air. With a small poof, Minty disappeared and reappeared behind England.
"Hey! Do not manhandle Minty!" England growled as he moved into a defensive stance.
Ireland stared up at the cowering bunny, sighed, and pinched her nose between her fingers. "Sorry, sorry." She mumbled.
England nodded. "Good. Now if you can please move off of the road, we'll be on our way."
"No. I can't do that. I need Minty."
"Well you should have thought of that before you scared her."
Ireland sighed and held up her hands in defeat. "Look, Minty is the only one that can help North right now. I'll do your paperwork or whatever shit you want me to do. Just. Please." She whispered the last part. "I'm desperate"
"Oh so the great Republic of Ireland finally decided to come crawling back." England drawled. A deep threatening growl escaped the women's throat.
"This doesn't concern you England. This is something between me and Minty over there." She said darkly.
Minty blinked in surprise and tilted her head. "What happened?" She finally asked warily.
"Well, you see..." Ireland trailed off as she began to rub her shoulder
England rolled his eyes. "Spill already."
"I'm getting to it! Don't rush me!" Ireland snapped back. A red blush dusted her freckled cheeks, but her expression was anything but bashful. "It's North. Um... Nessie swallowed him."
England froze, "...He what?"
"Nessie ate Northern Ireland and won't spit him back out. She won' talk to anyone other than Minty too, so can she please come with me?" Ireland asked, her patience wearing thin.
"Nessie? As in Scotland's giant lake dinosaur?"
"Oh my god, YES. The giant lake dinosaur. Get with the program."
Minty glanced down at England. He stared back.
"I'll go." Minty decided.
"No Minty, you'll miss the train! And maybe even the great feast! You can't miss that!" England argued. "Your job is on the line here! Nessie can just poop North out later."
"Yes, but... Nessie's digestive juices can't be comfortable." Minty winced.
"North can take it, he's a strong guy. But we need to get you to Hogwarts ASAP."
"Oi England!" Ireland barked. England turned his head towards her, only to get a fist full of dirt shoved into his face. "Fuck off!"
"Bloody hell!" England yelped as he stumbled backwards.
"So," Ireland asked the floating green bunny. "Are you in?"
Minty took a deep breath and nodded firmly. "I'll see what I can do."
England groaned. "How am I supposed to explain this to Dumbledore? 'Oh sorry, Minty couldn't make it to the Great Feast because she was busy getting a mythical creature to barf up my brother!'"
Ireland shrugged "Eh, you'll think of something. Now let's get going. The more time we waste the more my brother gets digested by Scottie's fat-assed lizard."
Author's Note:
Hey hey hey! New chapter! The original chapter was a lot longer, but I accidentally deleted it so I had to rewrite the whole thing. Thank you so so much guys for all of your support. It honestly makes me so happy to see so many people are reading and actually enjoying my work. I tried to make this chapter as humorous as the last one, but I'm not sure how well I did with this one.
I didn't want to write a cliche trip to diagon ally, so I just skipped over that and got to the part where England's driving Minty to Kings Cross where she's supposed to meet up with Professor Lupin. So sorry about that if you were expecting a scene in Diagon Ally.
So, I started another Hetalia crossover. This one is a PJO/Hetalia crossover, and it's basically about how Sealand is mistaken as a demigod and just screws around in camp Half-Blood while the Nordics raise hell in order to get him back. If you're interested, feel free to check it out, it's called 'In Other News'. The chapters are a lot shorter than this, and a lot less thought out (usually write those chapters at like, midnight) but I update it more often.
Next chapter we will see Minty at Hogwarts (FINALLY!)
Thank you for reading, and as always! Remember to review!
Snowy-Maplette