So you don't like the "trio" thing? Tough cookies. It stays. Any who, y'all seem pretty upset about what pairing this is. But gosh, isn't it obvious? And I think I'm gonna change the title, on account of all y'all getting pissed at me about it. And I'm gonna add random-ness to it. And PDA's. (Public display of affection) Haha. And I think I shall add a little humor to this. I mean, there aren't a lot with humor AND violence AND romance, are there? Oh well.

I hope I mentioned I don't know HP at all. Because I don't. At all. And I don't own it or Fma. Only yaoi fans would watch if I did. - Enjoy and PLEASE REVIEW!!!

Words in this chapter: about 1180.

I make fun of: Harry! Haha. --Points at victim-- Harry: gulps

Days I spent on it: 18350! No. but a lot because I keep getting writers block.

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The only thing Edward didn't like more than riding in a train was riding in a train with a bunch of weirdos staring at him. They had been doing so for about an hour, and would whisper to each other, too. Ed was getting really tired of their 'not so quiet' talkings. Plus, Roy wasn't there. He had gone off somewhere and ditched Ed for some random reason. Ed sighed and looked over to the door. They had only started moving again about 45 minutes ago.

Roy suddenly ran into the compartment. He was panting as he sat down next to Ed.

"Where the hell have you been?!?!?" Ed yelled at Roy. The three across the way practically jumped a foot. "I can't believe you ditched me!"

Roy put his arm around Ed. "Oh calm down, hun. I just was worried and my damn soldier instincts kicked in." Roy smirked and Ed rolled his eyes.

"You could've told me where you were going. Or left a note. Something would be nice."

Roy pulled Ed closer. "Yes, but you look so cute when you worry."

Ed blushed and then remembered they weren't alone. "Now," he said harshly, not remembering to take Roy's hand off from around his waist. "Who the hell are you?" he asked, nodding at the three across the booth.

The girl cleared her throat. "I'm Hermione Granger. And this is Ronald Weasley, and of course, there's Harry." Harry put out his hand.

"Yeah, I'm Harry. Harry Potter." Ed smiled sarcastically and didn't put out his hand. He got a little shove from Roy.

"Fine." He snapped at Roy. "I'm Ed. And this is Mustang." He looked back to the raven haired man. "Are you happy now, bastard?" Roy smiled.

"Of course I am." He said with a smirk. He turned to Harry. "It's very nice to meet you."

Harry was kinda put off by these men. 'Why didn't they ask me about my wicked scar or something?' was all that he was thinking. And of course he was also thinking, 'Bloody Hell. I need a haircut. Maybe a mohawk…' Hermione however, was thinking dirty thoughts about how if this was a teacher… she could get straight A's. She sighed. She was already getting A's. Ron was thinking about if his rat had gotten out. It did that a lot, and he didn't want to freak anyone out. Well, except this new blondie who seemed real stuck up. 'That'd be funny.' He thought wickedly.

"Dammit, Roy," Ed whined. "When the hell are we going to get the fucking place?"

"Edward, watch your language." Roy said, putting a finger on the boy's lips. The others in the compartment had stopped talking to listen to their conversation. "We needn't make a bad first impression to our new assignment."

The cheek below Ed's right eye twitched. "What the hell are you talking about?"

Just then the train stopped. "Thank goodness!" said Hermione as she reached for her bags and headed out the door rather quickly. The boys followed her. Once gone, Ed turned to Roy.

"What the hell is going on, Mus-" Ed was cut off by Roy smothering him in a lovely kiss on the lips. Apparently, Roy had been horny for a very long time now, and he had to get some. SOON.

The two broke apart after about 5 minutes of making out. They were both panting heavily, but Ed could tell the older man was laughing.

"And what... is so…damn funny… bastard?" Ed managed to say through heavy breaths. His eyes were narrowed, but he had a small smile on his face.

"You." was the man's reply. "You gave up rather quickly in our tongue battle, did you realize that?" Roy laughed and easily ducked Ed's play punch.

"I'm just tired!" the boy whined. "Besides, I have no idea what the hell is going on. AND I just was surprised. Deal with it."

Roy smiled and stood up to get their things. 'Well, he'll find out soon enough.' He thought silently.

As they walked into the gigantic castle, Ed's eyes grew wide. There were floating candles, the night sky was inside, and not to mention all of the ghosts that were floating around. Which, by the way, didn't really faze Ed that they were there. He was way too caught up in the whole floating candles thing. As Roy led him to the front of the great room, he heard the many greeting of old friends meeting up again.

"OH MY GOD! I HAVENT SEEN YOU IN LIKE EVER!!!"

"Good evening, Sir Nicholas."

"Hey, George!"

"I'm Fred! He's George!"

"Crab, over here!"

"I heard a new teacher is coming this year."

"There's a new one every year, silly."

"I'M SO FUCKING HUNGRY."

"Ooo! There are some real cute guys this year!"

As the two walked on, Ed heard the now loud group start to talk about him. Roy seemed to notice this too, for he looked back to see if the boy was alright. The blonde smiled back, even though he had no idea what the hell was going on. Roy almost laughed, but they were growing close to the large table. Ed could still hear them talking about him.

"Who the bloody hell is that?"

"Is he a first year? What's he doing here already?"

"God, that guy that's with him is so hot!"

"Oh, Em, Gee!!! I think so too!" the two having the discussion squealed and giggled.

"It's the guys from the train, look."

Ed was starting to get annoyed, but with Roy it didn't matter. He took in a deep breath and stood next to Roy in front of the large table. An old man was in the center, staring at the two alchemists. Roy cleared his throat to speak, but the old… older man beat him to it. As he rose, he motioned for the two to turn and face the young adults.

"Greetings to all returning students." He began. Ed could tell this was going to be boring. "As you can see, we have a few new additions to Hogwarts this year. Please welcome our new defense against the dark arts teacher, professor Tonks. (1) And a new subject will be added to all of your courses. Alchemy is a form of magic that-"

"SCIENCE!!!" Ed turned back around and glared at the old man. Roy's eyes grew wide and his face blushed with embarrassment. "ALCHEMY IS A SCIENCE, DAMMIT! AND MAGIC IS SO FAR FETCHED THAT IT--!"

Roy nudged the teen and cleared his throat. "Now, Edward, that isn't very polite." He looked up to the grey haired man, who was now very frightened of the young blonde below him. "I'm so sorry for my LITTLE friend's behavior. He has very tight opinions about alchemy, so it's a LITTLE hard for him to say it's a magic." Now remember, Ed was fuming by this point. But Roy put his hand in his and rubbed his thumb on Ed's skin. Damn that man knew how to shut the Elric up.

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I have no idea what the hell the name is. But I remember that name from somewhere… anyway; please tell me the real name so I can fix that in future chapters. And so I don't look anymore stupid than I already do. And don't flame me for being so… uninformed. I'm just special that way.

Yes, that's where it ends. FOR NOW!!! But people were getting mad, so here's something to get you off my neck. (Unless you're a vampire, which is totally cool… I wanna be a vampire…) so please just sit tight, writer's block is a total bitch. So just review already! Haha.

Much love,

dolly