Okay…Part three here we go?

Hopefully I'm making you guys feel something…

I own nothing…you know this. I can dream though, right?

Please, read and comment…make my day?

Morgan sits on the edge of Reid's bed, rubbing the fringe of Reid's favorite purple scarf.

"Morgan, did you know that Purple symbolizes magic and mystery as well as Royalty?

Being the combination of red and blue, the warmest and coolest colors, purple is believed to be the ideal color.

Violet is the color of purpose. Violet is associated with the Crown chakra (This links individual and universal)." Reid rattles off excitedly as you run circles with your thumb in the scarf.

All Morgan asked him was why the purple scarf… Morgan rolled his eyes and laughed. Only Reid could get away with something like that.

It still has Reid's scent.

Morgan wishes he could stop up the smell in a bottle and keep it forever.

The smell of dusty books, caramel, fresh apples, coffee beans, aftershave, a light hint of dirt and something that's distinctly…Reid.

Reid's gone and the team put him in the ground today.

You held his mother's hand; she gripped it tight as you tried to hold on for her.

For yourself.

For Reid.

Reid's gone.

You hold the envelope in your hand the edges tickling your palm.

You used to captivate me

By your resonating light,

Now I'm bound

By the life you left behind.

Your face it haunts

My most pleasant dreams

Your face it chased away

All the sanity in me.

You can't get it out of your mind—black mouth, white eyes.

A window, a window blown wide.

Why?

Clooney snuffs, laying his large head in your lap. You scratch him behind the ear.

Clooney would curl up on your feet and Reid's as you went to sleep those nights Reid would come over.

Some days you would wake to your arm wrapped around him tight, him spooning against you.

Some days he would be staring at you wide eyed in…

Some days he would pad around and sometimes he would make coffee and you would sit across from him and drink your coffee together in silence.

You never anything. Not a word, your voice sore and unused by the time you got to work.

You should have told him.

"I miss him too buddy." You whisper as Clooney whines.

The letter.

You carefully break the seal.

Your breathing mixes with Clooney's pants…it's too loud in this room.

It hurts to breathe.

Morgan,

Derek,

You probably will be the one to find me, and I'm sorry for that. I truly am. But then again, it's a relief to know that you would care enough to check up on me.

I'm…tired Morgan, and not enough sleep (or caffeine) in the world would affect this.

I really screwed up. I don't know how I got this low.

I knew that it was time to let go when my body stopped fighting. I can't eat…I haven't eaten a thing in eleven days…that's the longest I've been without—

Look, I know you want answers.

I do too…but I can't give them.

I didn't want it to be this way, but I'm pretty sure that my rationalization is faulty at best.

Even with me knowing that, it doesn't help.

I can't keep struggling like this, something's got to give.

I have to let go.

Please don't be angry…I know that you think that all I had to do was come to you.

I should have, but this has gotten too far, and I still don't…I didn't know how to ask for help.

I should have told you everything, that I loved you more than you could ever know.

What do you think, a man in love with his straight best friend? Right...

Maybe things could have been different if I did learn to open up…

I wanted to say thank you.

Thank you for being there for me when I needed you to be. Thank you for wiping away my fears, letting me cry and scream without shame…thank you for just holding my hand and being there through all the rock times.

I couldn't ask for a better brother, best friend…

This is something I have to do.

I'm sorry that I'm putting you through this, but you're strong and will make it through.

You have to…

Please, don't shut the team out, we're a family. And even if I'm not there, we're still family no matter what, right Derek?

Thank you so much for everything…

Love,

Spencer

You stare at the scrawl of Reid's writing. He used the fountain pen you gave him for Christmas last year.

His last Christmas…

You sigh, breath filling the room.

It feels heavy…it hurts so much, and this letter does nothing to ease the pain…but you know Reid loved you.

That's going to have to be enough for now.

Fin

A/N: Thank you for putting up with the story… this is the first time I did it all in one go like this.

Please, I want to hear your thoughts...

Thank you for sticking with me. It means a lot.