A Doc, A Looney and a Box
Here There Be Dragons
It was the largest and most beautiful beach in the universe. It stretched across the entire equator of the planet, a glittering white band short enough in width that the best of locations offered a view of the ocean on either side. It had been artificially created decades before, when the ocean planet was first discovered by humans, and in that time had become the most famous resort location in the universe.
"I am SO ready for a holiday!" said Amy exuberantly, stepping out onto the sand. Rory stepped out of the TARDIS after her, holding several bags.
"It ought to be nice not getting maimed, attacked or otherwise put in some life-threatening situation for once," said Rory, almost hopefully, as he looked out at the peaceful landscape surrounding them. A tall glass building rose up several stories across from them.
"All right, you…you crazy kids," said the Doctor from the doorway of the TARDIS. "Here's your reservation, room 229. We'll be back in three days so try not to get into any trouble while we're gone." He started to turn away and paused, frowning as he rummaged through his jacket. He produced a small white tube and tossed it at Amy. "Sunblock," he offered helpfully.
"Oh, thanks, but I was hoping to get a bit of tan."
"You'd get it all right. The atmosphere is fifty percent of what you're used to on earth. Third degree burns, nasty business."
"Ah. Sunblock it is. SPF 500," she said, reading off the bottle. "Fantastic."
They said their goodbyes, Luna waving at the couple from the TARDIS before the doors closed and she was left alone inside with the Doctor.
"So what do you say? Fancy an adventure while those two are off on holiday?" said the Doctor, looking hopefully at the control panel for the TARDIS.
"I quite like adventures," said Luna, and that seemed to be enough to settle the Doctor's mind. He ran to the center of the machine, flipping buttons and pushing levers.
"Where to, then? Past, future…anywhere you like really. Except Raxicoricofallipatorious…I'd really rather not go there. And definitely not Clom." He was in the middle of speaking when all of a sudden the phone that sat at the center of the console began to ring. He eyed it for a long moment, then turned to Luna. "Mind if I take this?"
Luna shrugged, and with that the Doctor flipped it off its hook and caught it, holding it to his ear. "Strange," muttered Luna. She had never seen a telephone before, and even though she knew that some of her friends subscribed to such muggle conventions she had never really seen the need to.
The Doctor listened for a long moment, frowned, then put his hand over the phone and glanced at Luna. "Hold on, let me put this on speaker," he said, holding the Sonic Screwdriver up to it.
"…request your assistance, New Doctor," came a soothing voice. "The Ood-Sphere is greatly in need of aid." There was a long pause, and then the voice continued. "The Ood are in danger. We request your assistance, New Doctor. The Ood-Sphere is greatly in need of aid." After another long pause the message repeated itself again. After listening to it a couple more times the Doctor put the phone back on the hook.
"Who are the Ood?" asked Luna, moving out of the Doctor's way.
"Old friends," said the Doctor, seeming a little distracted. "Last time I heard from them…well, let's just say it was a life-changing experience," he said, shooting her a small glance as he readied the TARDIS for take-off. "Good thing you have that scarf. You're going to need it."
There was the familiar whirring, and after a moment of jarring impact they were off. The Doctor was unusually silent on this trip, seeming thoughtful, and Luna took it as an opportunity to pay attention to the inner workings of the TARDIS for the first time. She watched as the Doctor pressed buttons and pulled levers, quickly losing track as he whirred around the console in a flurry of activity.
The sound echoed once more through the ship as they landed. The Doctor marched to the doors and threw them open. A blast of frigid air poured through the doors, carrying thick globs of powder white snow in with it. "Cold out there. As always," said the Doctor, and straightening his jacket he marched out into the snow.
Luna followed him, looking out across the landscape. Tall buildings that seemed to be made of ice rose up from the earth, stretching like mountains as far as could be seen. "They certainly have advanced," said the Doctor, squinting off into the distance. He paused after a moment, glancing down at Luna. "Aren't you cold?" he asked.
"Yes," said Luna, though with little concern. The Doctor stared at her for a long moment before shrugging.
"All right, so I don't know exactly what's going on here but the Ood said that this planet is in danger. Stick close to me and do everything I say."
"But what if what you say is wrong?" asked Luna, glancing up at him with wide, innocent eyes.
The Doctor furrowed his brows. "You know, none of my companions have ever asked me that before," he said. "Not that I can remember."
"What?" said Luna. "Do you mean you're never wrong?"
"Oh, of course I am," said the Doctor. "I'm just bloody good at making people think that I'm right. Come on."
He began to walk, taking the smoothest path down the hill that they had landed on, with Luna following along in his wake. About halfway down the Doctor realized that she had stopped and turned, seeing her standing in place and staring off into the distance. "I can hear singing," she said gently.
The Doctor stared at her in surprise, taking a few steps back in her direction. "You can hear it?" he asked.
Nodding gently, Luna continued to listen. "They're in mourning, I think," she said.
Closing his eyes, the Doctor chuckled softly. He reached his hand out to Luna. "Yeah. Something not so nice has happened here, and I want to find out what it was," he said. Taking his hand, Luna continued after him down the hill and they moved in toward the small city.
It was at the edge of the city that the first of the Ood appeared. Luna stared in mild surprise at the alien head resting on what otherwise seemed to be a humanoid body. In one hand it held a brain which dangled from a long cord and attached to the creatures squid-like head. It blinked its eyes as it turned its attention to them. "New Doctor, we once again rejoice at your arrival," said the Ood.
"Ah, wish I could say the same," said the Doctor, in as cavalier a manner as he could. "Now, what seems to be the problem."
"The beast roams freely across our city," said the Ood. "There has been much pain and suffering in his wake."
"The beast?" said the Doctor, making a face. "Well that sounds unpleasant and possibly deadly."
"It sounds like fun," said Luna, smiling.
"My kind of girl," said the Doctor, winking at her. "Now, Mr. Ood, where can we find this beast of yours?"
"This way, sir," said the Ood, and with a slight bow he turned and began to lead the way into the towering city of ice.
"So…a brief history of the Ood," said the Doctor, glancing over at Luna as they made their way through empty streets. "A long while ago, their race was found on this planet. Perfect slave race-at least that's what the humans thought. They enslaved their consciousness and turned them into mindless drones."
"Sort of like house elves," said Luna thoughtfully. "Except for the squishy brains in their hands thing."
"Ah…ahem," said the Doctor, glancing up at their Ood guide to see if he had noticed what she said. He didn't appear to be paying attention, and after a few moments the Doctor continued.
"Well, anyway, I ended up here with a friend and we found out what the humans were up to. Making a big business off the Ood, but also making a big mess. My friend and I freed them and…well…here we are. A few centuries after the last time I was here, I'd wager to guess," he said, glancing up at the towers.
"So you saved them," said Luna. "That's…kind of lovely," she said. "Is that what you do, Doctor? Go around saving people?"
"Ah…yes. Well, I try to anyway," he said.
At the heart of the city, where the Doctor knew the consciousness of the Ood to be kept, their guide stopped. "I'm afraid I can lead you no further," he said. "Nobody may enter the Great Chamber. The bodies of the dead are in the hall. I must remain here and watch," he said, and with a parting bow he took his place in front of the large door which the Doctor saw had been welded shut.
Recognizing what had at one time been a warehouse as the hall the Ood indicated, the Doctor gave him a parting nod and, taking Luna by the arm, went off in that direction.
The first thing that struck the pair, as they entered the makeshift burial chamber, was the scent of charred flesh. It struck the both of them at the same time, adding a newfound sense of tension to the situation.
The bodies were laid out, side by side, through the center of the room. The Doctor crouched next to the nearest, reaching out with his Sonic Screwdriver to examine the body. It had been burnt almost beyond recognition. Shocked, Luna knelt beside it as the Doctor moved along to examine the others.
The only thing that seemed to remain the same were its eyes. Luna reached out and, with a gentle touch, placed her fingers on the creatures face. "What could have done this?" she asked in mingled horror and surprise.
"I have no idea. There are no natural predators on this planet. That's why the Ood are the way they are. Look," he said, pointing to the exposed brain of a body that had been less charred than the others. "Brains outside their bodies. Until now humans have been the only things they've had to worry about."
"Then is it humans doing this?" asked Luna.
The Doctor paused, looking thoughtful. "I don't know yet. But whoever did this, they're going to pay."
Luna sat still as the Doctor continued to examine the corpses, listening to the song of the Ood as they mourned their fallen brethren. She was suddenly taken back to a morning several nights before, when she had knelt on the floor of the great hall to watch the bodies of her fallen allies as they were laid out to rest.
There had been no singing, but she knew without doubt that if their had it would have sounded like the subconscious sound that now floated through her mind. Hermione had been there, and Ron, and all the others as Harry has walked amongst the dead paying his respects, and offering comfort to the living.
That had been the moment she had grown up. It had never quite seemed, before then, that there had been a real price to pay in war. The others that had died, before then, had been distant to her. But remembering a moment of kindness offered her by Fred Weasley, or a kind smile by Tonks, or the evening that Remus Lupin had pulled her aside and told her that it wasn't so bad, being different…all these things had changed her.
In a strange way, Luna realized that for the Ood, who had never before known a real predator, they were facing a similar awakening.
"Luna? Luna, are you all right?"
She glanced up to find the Doctor staring down at her in concern. "I was just thinking," she said, standing.
"I can't find anything here," said the Doctor. "And we're not going to get a chance to talk to any of the Ood. Not while they're like this," he said, referring to the sadness of their song. "It looks like we're going to have to follow the trail of the Beast."
"Do you have any ideas?" said Luna as she followed him back out into the whiteness of the world outside.
"Not really," said the Doctor. He was poking around the side of the building. "Tell me if you see a snowmobile or something," he said, looking around for a vehicle. "We're never going to be able to get up into that ridge on foot."
Luna glanced around, picking up something and extending it for the Doctor to see. "How about this?" she said.
The Doctor stared down at what she was holding, then looked up at her. "That's a broom," he said.
"Well, of course it is," said Luna. "And that is a mop. I should be able to enchant the both of them to fly for long enough to get us there and back."
"You mean you lot actually fly on broomsticks?" said the Doctor, suppressing a laugh. "Brilliant!"
Luna worked her magic on the objects as quickly as she could, and within fifteen minutes they were both mounted and zipping up the ridge, the Doctor dipping and swerving as he learned to control the broom. "That way!" shouted the Doctor, attempting not to fall as he pointed toward a spot on the horizon. A thin plume of smoke was rising up from the earth, and turning in that direction Luna and the Doctor zipped off.
They dismounted just far away enough that they couldn't be seen and, hiding behind a rift of snow, watched the spot where the smoke was coming from. "It's a campfire," whispered the Doctor, and Luna nodded. It wasn't he Ood, that much was obvious.
"Humans," said Luna, as a band of five people emerged from a small lean-to that was camouflaged against the white. There were three men and two women, all in robes of black.
"The fire's gone out," said one of the men, the eldest of the group and, it seemed, their leader. One of the women knelt down on the ground and, pulling out a wand, whispered something that caused the dwindling flames to leap back to life.
"A witch?" said the Doctor in surprise.
Luna watched as the travelers huddled together in deep conversation. There was something sallow and pale about them, as if they were living ghosts. "I don't like the way they feel," she said quietly.
"The Ood said something about a beast, though. How…"
The Doctor stopped as a load roar rumbled through the earth and the air, making the world itself tremble. The five people stopped and glanced up. The leader of the group gestured with his hand toward the east and the two other men sprang up, heading quickly off in the direction that had been indicated. "Come on," said the Doctor, and taking the mop in hand he began to follow them. Luna paused a moment longer to look at the travelers at their fire, and then she followed.
Using a high bank of snow as cover, Luna and the Doctor moved quickly and quietly after the three men who had rushed off. They finally caught up with them as they approached a ridge and the men disappeared into the mouth of what appeared to be a very large cave. "Do we go in?" asked Luna mildly, glancing up at him.
"Going in there would be madness…utter insanity," said the Doctor.
"So, yes then?" said Luna. The Doctor paused for a long moment, then grinned at her.
"Oh, all right, you've convinced me. Let's go." The pair darted across the frozen plain and into the mouth of the cave, with Luna quickly holding her wand up for light. Not too far into the cave the path forked in two directions.
"Which way…" started Luna, but the Doctor held up his hand, leaning forward to listen down first one cavern and then the other. After a moment of indecision he gestured for Luna to follow him down the path to the right, and with careful footsteps they made their way over the rocky floor.
A little ways in there came another enormous roar, loud enough to shake free a shower of pebbles from the stone tunnel. "We're very close." said the Doctor. They could hear several loud shouts and Luna and the Doctor began to run, heedless of the noise their footfall made on the stone.
Finally they left the tunnel, as it emerged into a wide underground crypt. But this wasn't what surprised them. At the center of this chamber, struggling desperately against its bonds, was a blue and silver dragon. Fire burst from its jaws as it fought against two of the wizards as they attempted to secure one of its forelegs, which Luna could see had broken free.
"Is that a bloody dragon?" asked the Doctor. "I mean, it looks like a dragon…a human's idea of a dragon, not an alien that happens to look like a dragon or…that's a bloody dragon, isn't it?"
"Yes," said Luna. "What, you thought dragons weren't real?"
"I…well of course, I didn't think dragons were real! Dragons are stories invented by humans back in the day, to explain away alien invasion."
"Hmph," sniffed Luna delicately, turning her attention back to the dragon as it roared again. "Well, this one is very much real, and in pain. Those men must be poachers. See?" Luna gestured towards something that was glittering beneath the dragon. "They're after her eggs. That's why she's so angry."
"Ah. Yes," said the Doctor, a look of discomfort coming over his face. It was obvious that he wasn't used to being the one who was being told what was going on. He was further made uncomfortable when Luna signaled for him to hide with he behind a large outcropping of rock, watching the poachers as they secured the chain and administered what Luna could only assumed was a sedative to the beast.
After a few moments the dragon seemed to settle, although it was still eyeing the poachers warily. "Come on!" yelled the wizard in charging, gesturing toward the mouth of the cave. "We'll return in an hour and make sure she's locked down. We better make sure the camp is safe."
The Doctor and Luna waited until the wizards were well gone before they sprang up from behind the rock. "Well, what do we do now?' said Luna, looking up at the dragon. "We can't just leave her there. They're stealing her babies."
"Yes. But we can't free her. All those Ood…"
"Oh. Right," said Luna, suddenly appearing concerned. "Well, we can't just do nothing."
"Nope, that's the one thing we can't do," said the Doctor.
"All right then. I think I might have an idea."
With the Doctor's help, Luna managed to secure the area. "All right," she said, once she was certain that nobody was going to interrupt them. "I'm performing the Fidelius Charm. You and I are going to be the secret keepers. I'm going to put a spell on this cave so only we can see it or enter it."
"You're going to create a perception filter," said the Doctor, looking surprisingly interested. "Do you mind if I see how you do it?"
Luna nodded slightly, though her concentration seemed to have turned elsewhere. Luna extended her wand, taking a deep breath and closing her eyes. With several quick movements, she flicked her wand, and then reaching out she took the Doctor's hand. "Fidelius dragon and cave," she whispered, then repeated the phrase over and over again in a sort of singsong chant.
The Doctor felt the knowledge begin to wind itself tight deep inside his mind, tighter and tighter until it felt as if it were embedded deep within his soul. All of a sudden he realized that Luna had finished and, though still holding him by the hand, was staring up at him with her wide blue eyes.
"That's quite different than I expected," he said, raising his eyebrows. "Luna, you really are brilliant."
He paused, feeling strange about making this statement. He thought briefly of the girl he couldn't remember, the girl known as Hermione Granger. Then he shook his head.
"All right. We better hunt down those wizards and see what they're after," said the Doctor, and Luna nodded in assent.
They took off back down the mountainside, following the tracks of the wizards, until they caught up with them at their camp. "Let's just stick back here and be sneaky," said the Doctor, and taking hold of Luna he pulled her close to him and they ducked down so they wouldn't be seen.
"Did you secure it?" said one of the witches, staring up at the returning wizards expectantly.
"Yeah. It won't be going anywhere for then next little while."
"Make sure it doesn't. We'll never be able to afford the Chieftan's price if those eggs don't hatch."
"I don't see why we don't just hatch the eggs ourselves and slaughter the mother," said one of the witches agitatedly. She was holding her wand stiffly in her fingers, staring off into the snow absently.
"If we do that, we lose future profits. Besides, we were ordered to keep her alive, at least until the Chieftan gets his hands on her heart."
"Her heart?" whispered the Doctor, glancing over at Luna. Again he felt a prickle of unease when Luna, somewhat distractedly, nodded at him as if it were obvious what was going on.
"The sinews in a dragon's heart are very powerful magic ingredients," said Luna. "Used quite often in wandmaking."
"Ah, makes sense…it's like the core of your wand, the one you made in the TARDIS."
Luna nodded. "There aren't really many cores that actually work. The three most common are Phoenix feather, Dragon Heartstring and Unicorn hairs."
"Unicorn?" said the Doctor.
"Mm. It's like a pointy horse."
"I know what a unicorn is, Luna," said the Doctor, although there was a look of consternation on his face. He watched the group as they descended into an argument. "If they're trading it on the black market that means that there aren't many left."
"Well, there aren't that many dragons and unicorns in outer space I'd expect, and Phoenix's were always rare," said Luna. "And it's almost impossible for a witch or wizard to do magic without a wand. I would imagine that having a wand is a rare thing for these people. I mean look how careful they are with theirs," she added.
The Doctor looked again. He had noticed how possessively they held on to their wands and with Luna's explanation now understood why. "The loss of power is a frightening and dangerous thing. Enough so that they don't mind the loss of life of a few hundred Ood. Now what I wonder is who is this Chieftain, and what he's paying them for this job. Because I can't imagine any amount of money that would make this a job worth doing."
They continued to watch the band for a little while. Luna felt a prickle of unease when the wizards from earlier broke off to go in search of the dragon. "They may be a little upset when they realize they can't find her," said Luna.
"Hmm. Probably."
This was of course an understatement. Before thirty minutes had passed the wizards were roaring over the snowy banks, announcing the treachery. "I just realized a slight problem," said the Doctor as chaos broke out at the encampment.
"What's that?" said Luna.
"We're not exactly well-hidden if somebody's looking for eavesdroppers."
The Doctor and Luna both froze and turned to look at one another. All of a sudden there was a loud shout. "RUN!" shouted the Doctor.
"No, silly, fly!" said Luna, and tossing the mop at the Doctor she jumped onto her broom. As she had predicted, her enchantments had barely been enough to get them up the ridge, and they barely made it back to the warehouses before the magic gave out completely.
"They won't come into town with the Ood here," said the Doctor. "Believe it or not, they can be quite dangerous when pushed into it."
"That doesn't mean they'll just give up," said Luna. "And there's one more thing."
"What's that?"
"The dragon is eventually going to get loose of her bonds. And right now, you and I are the only people that can see her. She could come roaring down here right now and we'd be the only ones who could see her."
"Ah. That does make this situation a bit sticky." He went silent for a moment. "They're going to be watching for us to make our way out of here for a while."
"Mmm," said Luna thoughtfully. "You know, we really should find someplace to fit her. Do you think you could get a dragon into the TARDIS?"
The Doctor stared at her mutely, for a very long moment. "She's bigger on the inside, but not that much bigger," he said. "Anyway, how would we fit he through the doors?"
"Hmm," said Luna. "I could always transfigure her. Change her into something else," she said, when the Doctor continued to stare.
"Like what?" he said.
"I don't know. A dog, perhaps."
"Ah. The world's nastiest, most fire-breathing pomeranian. That sounds like a perfect plan."
"I could make her a pug," said Luna. All of a sudden she trailed off. The pair had been so involved in their conversation they hadn't seen or heard the wizards come around the long way. They now had their wands trained on Luna and the Doctor and were staring at them angrily.
"All right, witch, your game is up. Tell me, just what did the Chieftan think to achieve by sending you lot out here?"
"We don't work for anybody," said the Doctor. His hands had flung up when the wizards pointed their wands at him. Luna glanced over and, realizing that she should probably do the same, slowly put her hands into the air. "We're what you could call free agents."
"We're members of a an organization called the S.P.C.D." said Luna.
"S.P.C.D.?" whispered the Doctor.
"Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to dragons."
"Ah, yes…quite a good organization," said the Doctor. "Lot of…you know, lot of burning and things but overall quite nice…"
"Shut it!" said the head wizard. "Did you or did you not use a Secret Keeping charm on the cave?"
"I did," said Luna.
"Well then," said one of the witches who was with the group. "Tell us why we shouldn't kill you know?"
"Because the secret would be lost forever," said Luna with a small shrug. The Doctor was surprised by her nonchalance in this situation. Even he was beginning to worry a little bit and he rarely worried.
Well, all right, that wasn't quite true, he worried quite a bit actually, but didn't he usually come out all right in the end?
The wizard narrowed his eyes. "Well, you're our prisoner anyway. Hand over your wands."
Luna sighed deeply, as if she were being greatly inconvenienced, then pulled out a long piece of stick from her coat and hand it over. The man eyed it curiously, giving it a faint swish. "This isn't any wand," he said.
"It is too. See? The only other thing I've got is this toothbrush." She pulled out her Sonic Wand. The wizard furrowed his brow and leaned forward, glancing at it strangely.
"Toothbrush?" he said.
"He's got one too," said Luna.
"Ah," said the Doctor, and thought to himself clever girl. He pulled his Sonic Screwdriver out of his coat pocket, displaying it proudly. "Toothbrush," he said, "Don't leave home without it. You never know when you're going to be fighting gingivitus."
Luna looked over at him. "Shall we fight gingivitus now?" she said.
"Best time for it," said the Doctor.
"Reducto!" cried Luna. The nearest three wizards were blown out of her way, and on the Doctor's side the high-pitched keening of his Screwdriver had distracted the remainder of the group. Taking the path that Luna had cleared they broke into a run. "Where are we going?" she said as they made their way quickly up the path.
"Don't you know?" said the Doctor. "You seem the be the one in charge here."
"Me?" said Luna, eyes widening in astonishment. "What exactly does that mean?"
"Ever since we got here!" the Doctor shouted. "Every step of the way, it's like you know everything! Little miss know-it-all!"
"What? You sound mad," said Luna. She turned so that she was somewhat running sideways.
"I'm…not…mad…" the Doctor huffed. Glancing around, he found a small outcropping of rocks and pulled Luna behind it. "It's just that…well…"
"What is it?"
"It's just weird, not being in charge. I don't really like it," he said sullenly. Luna blinked owlishly at him, then cocked her head to the side.
"I'm sorry," she said.
"No, I'm sorry. I mean, I only just met you and all. You can't help it if you're…you know…"
"Smart?" said Luna.
"I was going to say, 'a witch'," said the Doctor. "Right then." He straightened his jacket, looking back down the path. They hadn't been followed, and the fact that they hadn't was beginning to make him a little nervous. "Now, about that dragon in the TARDIS idea," said the Doctor. "Think you can pull it off?" he said.
"I'm sure I can," said Luna confidently.
"All right then," said the Doctor. "Let's get back to the TARDIS then. We can fly her up to the dragon, then get her aboard and find some safe place to keep her."
Luna nodded. They weren't now very far from the main city that housed the Ood. The TARDIS was just where they left it, and with more than a small amount of thanks they boarded it and, with the familiar grating hum of the machine, had disappeared up the ridge and to the dragon's cave.
"Just stand back," said Luna. The Doctor obliged her, and with heavy concentration she raised her wand and began to whisper to herself. Glimmering lights surrounded the beast, and it slowly began to shrink, the raised ridges smoothing themselves out and becoming coated in a fine layer of hair. Finally it stopped shrinking, and with a muffled bark began to run towards them, launching itself at the Doctor and licking him on the cheek.
"You really turned her into a pug," said the Doctor. He glanced down at her in shock.
"I think we should call her Scaley. Or Flamey. Or…I don't know. Can you think of anything dragoney?"
"How about puff?" he said in bemusement.
"I like Puff," said Luna. She picked the dog up, giving her what turned out to be a very squishy hug. "You get the eggs," she called out.
They loaded everything up onto the TARDIS, and then the Doctor slammed the doors closed. "All right. Now, just one last thing to do," he said.
Luna nodded. "We need to get those wizards off this planet," she said. "For good."
The TARDIS landed at the center of the camp. The wizards stared at it in awe before the doors flung open and Luna stepped out. She put her hands up as their pointed their wands at her.
"Just wait a minute," she said. "Put those down. I have something very important to tell you. I'm sure that all of you know about Hogwarts. About the Second Great Wizarding War. Well, you should all know that I am a time traveler, and I was there."
She took a step forward, hand now on the pocket that held her wand. "I watched as Harry Potter defeated the Dark Lord. I fought against the Death Eaters, and afterward I spent every waking minute of my life hunting them down. And now, I'm here with the authority of the Third Golden Wizengamot. My name is Luna Lovegood. And you-" she took out the wand, pointing them at the wizards, "are trespassing. Now, go, and if I see you again there will be hell to pay."
They all exchanged frightened looks. Then, en masse, they all Apparated away.
The Doctor stepped out of the TARDIS. "What was that all about?"
"Well, the bit about the Third Golden Wizengamot was rubbish," she said. "But, the way I figure, so long as I don't forget to go and put a little bit in the history books about the horrible, terrible frightening witch, Luna Lovegood, then my name should strike fear in the hearts of all witches and wizards who see me," she said. "Or something like that."
"Hmm. Not a bad tactic," said the Doctor. "I think my speeches are usually a bit better, though," he said.
"Coming from a man in a bow-tie," said Luna with a smirk.
"What, you too? Every companion," he said with a shake of his head.
"We still need to figure out who the chieftain is, eventually," said Luna. "But we better get the eggs somewhere safe. I'm not sure about Puff," she said though. The dog was rubbing itself up against her leg, clawing pathetically. "I think she likes me."
"We are not," said the Doctor, "Not by any means having a dog on the TARDIS."
The TARDIS arrived on the beach of the most beautiful planet in the universe. The doors opened and Amy stepped in. Her skin was a scarlet red.
"Nice tan," said the Doctor.
"Shut it," said Amy.
Rory stepped on after her, and was immediately assaulted by twenty pounds of snorting, barking, pug. "What's this?" he yelped, jumping back.
The Doctor sighed. "Meet Puff," he said. "Our newest companion."