[Enter THE CLUB. Everyone is having a helluva good time.]
[Everyone except NEATO of course.]
NEATO: I need some ass.
RANDOM CLUBBER #1: Yes, yes you do.
RANDOM CLUBBER #2: Hey, who let the pasty computer nerd in here?
TRINITY: Back off, bitches.
RANDOM CLUBBERS 1 and 2: Eee, woman in leather!
[They run away.]
NEATO: Whoa, woman in leather! Boobies...
TRINITY: Don't even think about it.
NEATO: Whoa. Why not?
TRINITY: I'm lesbian, doofus.
NEATO: Whoa. Lesbian. Hot.
TRINITY: Ok, stop with the "whoa." Seriously.
NEATO: Boobies...
TRINITY: [Snaps] Eyes up here, Neato.
NEATO: How do you know that name?
TRINITY: Um. It's tatooed on your forehead.
NEATO: HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT?!?!?!
TRINITY: I know a LOT about you, Neato.
NEATO: STALKER!
TRINITY: For once and for all, I am NOT a stalker!! Jesus!!
NEATO: So...who are you anyway, Stalker?
TRINITY: [Mumbling] Happy place, happy place...[deep breath] My name is Trinity.
NEATO: Trinity? *The* Trinity? The militant vegan who got arrested for setting fire to The Fur Warehouse with stolen firearms, then stole a cop car to run away?
TRINITY: That was a long time ago.
NEATO: Umm...it was about 3 weeks ago.
TRINITY: Oh shut it, you.
[50 Cent's "In Da Club" starts to play. NEO begins to DANCE. BADLY.]
NEATO: GO SHAWTY! IT'S MAH BIRFDAY!!
TRINITY: They're watching you, Neato.
NEATO: Who?
[She indicates the large crowd of very confused CLUBBERS who are POINTING and LAUGHING.]
NEATO: Oh...I'll just...go over here now...
[They retreat to a darker corner of DA CLUB.]
TRINITY: The answer is out there, Neato.
[NEATO is doing a CROSSWORD PUZZLE.]
NEATO: I know but I just can't come up with anything! What's a six-letter word for "The world that has been pulled over your eyes to blind you from the truth"?
TRINITY: [Rolls eyes] "Matrix," duh.
NEATO: What is the Matrix?
TRINITY: HAH! I thought you'd never ask.
NEATO: So are you going to tell me?
TRINITY: No.
NEATO: Then what's the point of this conversation?
TRINITY: No point. Later.
[SUDDENLY...]
[Rooster crows. Rooster crows again. Rooster is strangled and silenced.]
[Alarm rings. Neato wakes up in his room and stares at the alarm clock.]
NEATO: Whoa...I know kung fu.
OFF-SCREEN-VOICES: Arrrgh!! Not yet!
Neato: Aw man. Well in that case... shit I'm late for work!!
[Everyone except NEATO of course.]
NEATO: I need some ass.
RANDOM CLUBBER #1: Yes, yes you do.
RANDOM CLUBBER #2: Hey, who let the pasty computer nerd in here?
TRINITY: Back off, bitches.
RANDOM CLUBBERS 1 and 2: Eee, woman in leather!
[They run away.]
NEATO: Whoa, woman in leather! Boobies...
TRINITY: Don't even think about it.
NEATO: Whoa. Why not?
TRINITY: I'm lesbian, doofus.
NEATO: Whoa. Lesbian. Hot.
TRINITY: Ok, stop with the "whoa." Seriously.
NEATO: Boobies...
TRINITY: [Snaps] Eyes up here, Neato.
NEATO: How do you know that name?
TRINITY: Um. It's tatooed on your forehead.
NEATO: HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT?!?!?!
TRINITY: I know a LOT about you, Neato.
NEATO: STALKER!
TRINITY: For once and for all, I am NOT a stalker!! Jesus!!
NEATO: So...who are you anyway, Stalker?
TRINITY: [Mumbling] Happy place, happy place...[deep breath] My name is Trinity.
NEATO: Trinity? *The* Trinity? The militant vegan who got arrested for setting fire to The Fur Warehouse with stolen firearms, then stole a cop car to run away?
TRINITY: That was a long time ago.
NEATO: Umm...it was about 3 weeks ago.
TRINITY: Oh shut it, you.
[50 Cent's "In Da Club" starts to play. NEO begins to DANCE. BADLY.]
NEATO: GO SHAWTY! IT'S MAH BIRFDAY!!
TRINITY: They're watching you, Neato.
NEATO: Who?
[She indicates the large crowd of very confused CLUBBERS who are POINTING and LAUGHING.]
NEATO: Oh...I'll just...go over here now...
[They retreat to a darker corner of DA CLUB.]
TRINITY: The answer is out there, Neato.
[NEATO is doing a CROSSWORD PUZZLE.]
NEATO: I know but I just can't come up with anything! What's a six-letter word for "The world that has been pulled over your eyes to blind you from the truth"?
TRINITY: [Rolls eyes] "Matrix," duh.
NEATO: What is the Matrix?
TRINITY: HAH! I thought you'd never ask.
NEATO: So are you going to tell me?
TRINITY: No.
NEATO: Then what's the point of this conversation?
TRINITY: No point. Later.
[SUDDENLY...]
[Rooster crows. Rooster crows again. Rooster is strangled and silenced.]
[Alarm rings. Neato wakes up in his room and stares at the alarm clock.]
NEATO: Whoa...I know kung fu.
OFF-SCREEN-VOICES: Arrrgh!! Not yet!
Neato: Aw man. Well in that case... shit I'm late for work!!