DETECTIVE CONAN
FRIENDSHIPS OF SORROW
RAN MOURI
BY
Sgamer82

To think that, just a couple of hours ago, she had thought to herself that Ai Haibara didn't act much like a child.

And now she's thrown a fit and shut herself in her room…

The irony was not lost on Ran.

She got back to her feet and went to the room Haibara and Professor Agasa shared. Ran turned the knob and, just as she had expected, it was locked. It was very likely that if Ai was going to come out at all, it wouldn't be until she was ready. Ran considered breaking the door down, but she wanted Ai to come on her own rather than because she was forced. Besides, her father would kill her, as he'd be the one billed for the replacement door. For now, Ai's reluctance was just as well. Ran was still trying to puzzle everything out.

"Don't you dare call yourself my neechan! You're not her! You never will be! So stop trying!"

If Ran was interpreting that correctly, it answered a lot of questions. What Ran had believed was her reminding Ai of somebody she hated was exactly the opposite.

I finally have that figured out... Ran thought But what in the world do I do about it?

"Ai-chan?" Ran asked, knocking on the door. No answer. She hadn't seriously expected one. With a sigh, Ran sat down in the closest chair she could find. She needed to figure out how to get Ai to either come out or let Ran in.

Haibara laid on her bed and buried her face in a pillow, tears flowing uncontrollably. As her temper cooled and rational thought returned, Haibara couldn't think of anything except what a fool she was.

Idiot! she chided herself. In that moment, when Ran had said Haibara could tell "neechan" all about her problems, Haibara's mind had gone instantly to Akemi. It was exactly the sort of thing she would've said. In that moment, she had realized what it was about Ran Mouri that bothered her so much. That realization, occurring in that heated moment, led to the to the idea she was now berating herself for even having. In that brief moment, Ai Haibara lost her composure because she had seriously thought that Ran Mouri was trying to replace her sister!

Ridiculous! she told herself. How could Mouri intentionally replace someone she didn't even know existed? At least, didn't know about until now! Mouri would almost certainly put two and two together and try to make some sort of reconciliation with Haibara. Almost as certainly she'd expect Haibara to tell her about Akemi.

Haibara wasn't sure what to do, now that the whole mess had finally made her realize the biggest reason for her antagonism towards Ran Mouri. Whatever else she may feel towards the young woman, she reminded Haibara of Akemi. Too much, in fact. Looking back, much of what Mouri did were things she could picture, and in some cases remember, Akemi doing. Haibara now knew that that was why she didn't want Mouri close to her. It was too painful. Mouri's every action was a reminder of the sister she'd lost. A loss she still had not fully accepted yet...

"Ai-chan?" she heard the Mouri call through the door with a knock. Haibara didn't answer. She wasn't ready yet.

She started to consider what she should do. Apologizing would likely be first. Even if she didn't feel genuinely guilty Mouri would try and make her. She did feel guilty, however, and Ran deserved some kind of apology.

A few more minutes later, Haibara got off her bed, wiped her eyes with the back of her hand, and unlocked the door.

Ran was beginning to fall asleep when she was alerted to the sound of a tumbling lock. She looked up and saw the bedroom door open. Ai came out, eyes downcast and slightly red. Without a word, she walked up to where Ran sat.

"Mouri-san..."

"Ai-chan," Ran replied.

An awkward silence followed.

"I'm sorry," Ran said.

"Huh?" Haibara looked up in surprise, "You're sorry?"

"I just wanted to get to know you better," Ran explained, as she kneeled down to look Ai right in the eyes, "But I hurt you by stepping into something painful for you. I'm only guessing, but it sounded like you had an older sister."

"Yes..." Ai replied, "She died last year."

"I see... Ai-chan... I'm not out to replace her, if that's what you think."

"It isn't... I thought it for a moment... but it's ridiculous, seeing as you didn't even know about her... I'm sorry, too. I was a fool."

"No, you weren't," Ran told her, "What you felt... what you feel... is perfectly understandable. I can even say I've felt something very close."

"Mm," Ai mumbled in response.

"I don't know if you know this, but my parents have been split up since I was about a year older than you. And even now, after all that time, I get upset whenever I see my father... uh... how do I put it...?"

"Pick up women?" Ai ventured.

"Yeah," Ran replied. Astonished, not for the first time, by the girl's maturity and bluntness.

"In those rare instances where a relationship would become serious, I would always get upset and angry. I would think to myself, 'this woman's trying to replace my mom.' I knew, rationally, that most of them weren't trying to do that at all. But it didn't matter. The friendlier they tried to be to me, the angrier I became. Not a single one of those pretenders could ever, in my mind, measure up to the real thing.

"I think that the main reason for this was because I could never fully accept my parents' breakup. I still can't, to be honest. All these years, and still, every chance I can, I think of ways to try and get them back together. Even though I know full well it's not likely they'll ever reconcile. Because of that, I understand that to know something, and to accept it, can be two very different things."

Ai tried to look away, but couldn't break her lock with Mouri's eyes. Because of this, and fresh tears appearing on the smaller girl's face, Ran knew she had essentially hit the nail on the head.

"Ai-chan, your sister is gone. You know this. But I think, deep down, even though it's been so long you can't bring yourself to fully accept it yet. That's all right. Everyone goes at their own pace. If you're not ready yet, nobody can force you. And I'm sorry for doing that to you, even accidentally. I also swear to you, I'm not going to try and replace her. I know what that feels like. If it ever feels like I'm doing that, I want you to let me know."

As Ran was speaking, she saw Ai's face become streaked with tears that ran down her face and fell to the floor. As much as she wanted to, Ran decided against giving her a hug. It seemed wise, considering the situation that had caused this whole mess to begin with. So she stayed where she was, on her knees in front of the girl, and let her cry run its course.

"Right now..." Ai muttered after a few moments of silence.

"Huh?" Ran asked.

"Right now... all of this... is like what Onee-chan would say... if she were here."

"Oh," Ran said with a frown, then with a smile, "Then, I guess this means there really isn't any chance of getting you to call me 'neechan' is there?"

To Ran's relief, Ai laughed.

"None whatsoever, Mouri-san."

The tension between them broke with a shared laugh.

Professor Agasa returned early the next morning to find Ran Mouri in his kitchen working on breakfast. A blanket and pillow were on his couch, suggesting where she'd slept during the night. He greeted her before peeking into his and Ai's room to see the girl sound asleep. Agasa wasn't surprised to see the stuffed toy given to her by Ayumi held in her arms. She'd made a habit of sleeping with it since they had a sleepover. Agasa knew Ai liked to sleep in whenever possible, so he let her be. What Professor Agasa didn't realize was that was only part of the reason she was so soundly asleep.

The previous evening's events had left Ai Haibara feeling exhausted, mentally and emotionally more than physically. She had gone to sleep shortly after her talk with Mouri. Haibara no longer felt so upset now. Mouri's talk had actually helped. At the very least, she came to feel less foolish about her earlier state of mind. To her relief, Mouri hadn't insisted on hearing about Akemi. She had asked, as expected, but it was more from curiosity and she allowed Haibara to get away with not answering.

To an extent, the night had helped change Haibara's feelings toward Ran. She still felt that odd antagonism towards the young woman, but it was less overwhelming now that she had identified the cause. The two had come to an understanding. Ran would not insist on being called "Ran-neechan" by Haibara. Though she did, at least, ask for "Ran-san" to be used more often than "Mouri-san." She did want to be Ai's friend, if nothing else, and friends shouldn't be quite that formal. Haibara agreed that was fair.

What would come of all this, Haibara didn't know. The only clear effect of this ordeal was that Haibara would no longer be able to be left alone when Agasa had to go out of town. As Ai slept, Ran was making that very clear to the good professor. Later, Agasa would promise Ai to figure out something in case she didn't want to be stuck with Ran too often.

Aside from that, life for Ai Haibara would likely continue as it had. She would find being around Ran Mouri easier to take now; though direct contact would still be something she would avoid unless necessary. Now that Ran was aware of why that was so, Haibara hoped that Mouri would respect her feelings and let her steer clear if she so wished. She also hoped that Ran would keep tonight's events to herself. The last thing she needed was Kudo hearing about it all. She was more confident on that. Mouri was no blabbermouth.

As Ran left for home, she thought of the odd, quiet girl known to her as Ai Haibara. Ran had gotten more than she had bargained for from last night, but the child was less of an enigma to her now. Ran understood that she might never be as close to Ai as she was Conan and his other friends. She could live with that. Ai would likely stay clear of Ran as much as she could, so long as Ran reminded her of her big sister, no matter how unintentionally. She could live with that as well.

But that didn't mean she would care for Ai any less than Conan and his other friends. Ran could never live with herself if she did that.

Ai-chan, I'll watch out for you, just like I would anybody I call my friend.