A/N: Thank you for all the reviews! glee I'm glad this story is getting such a good reception. I may have gotten small facts wrong, since it's been years since I've read a lot of the books. Also, if anyone knows who the Heads of Houses were during the Marauder era, could you let me know?

In this chapter, Isaviel is continuing to have a really crap day, they meet a new face, get into arguments and finally get to go to the common rooms!

And one final note; obviously I've taken slight liberties with the Harry Potter world, so expect some slight OOC-ness, especially since we're destined to be Sues who SAEV THE WURLDZ!

Summary: Two girls stumble across a mysterious store, where they buy mysterious amulets and receive mysterious warnings. When they ignore these words, they literally "fall into" the Harry Potter world. Hilarity and hijinks ensue.

Disclaimer: Nothing from the Harry Potter series belongs to me; it all belongs to the wonderful J. K. Rowling. Pocketfish (Isaviel Bates) and Cheerbear (Theoli Runkle), however, belong to myself and Rusty Nail, respectively.

So Sue Me: A Tale of Two Self-Inserts

Chapter Three: That has GOT to hurt...

Isaviel and Theoli had returned to the boys to find them having a heated argument about how each boy wears his tie; Severus was dressed very neatly, with his tie pulled tightly around his neck whereas Sirius opted to wear his tie in a rather slack manner, with his top button undone.

"Why would I take advice from you, Snivellus?" Sirius had his arms folded across his chest in a defensive manner, with an irate scowl on his face.

"Nobody said you should, Black," Severus countered with an equal amount of venom. "Just saying you should probably take more care with your appearance."

The girls were sat on the wall, leaning against the stone pillars as they waited for the two to hurry up and finish their little spat. Far off into the distance Isaviel thought she saw someone flying on a broomstick but she tried not to think about it too hard; she already had way more information to digest than she could actually cope with. She glanced over to the two boys again, whose argument had developed into issues over their ties.

"Guys, do you guys just want to get a room? 'Cause we'd really like to get some rest-"

"SHUT UP!" They yelled in unison, not bothering to break eye contact with one another.

Isaviel, shocked by their sudden outburst, jumped and slipped, causing her to fall backwards over the wall and land - rather painfully - on her back on a patch of grass around the edge of the courtyard. Theoli shot them a dismayed look, though it went unnoticed by the intended receivers. "Rude!" She called to them before jumping off the other side of the wall to see if Isaviel was alive. Which she was. Just. "Christ, are you okay?"

"Yes, my child," Isaviel said, groaning and kicking out so that she slid a little further from the wall in order to give herself enough room to stand. "That really bloody hurt."

"No kidding, that was an impressive drop."

After checking that everything was where it should be and nothing was broken, she sat cross-legged, listening to the continuing fight. "I feel spiteful. Let's nosey around," Isaviel said, a mischievous grin tugging at her lips.

Theoli returned the grin. "Just what I was thinking."

The two peered over the wall to check the boys were still pre-occupied - which yes, they very much were - and then, in true espionage style, they ran along the wall crouched low so that the boys wouldn't see them. Part of Isaviel wished she could see their faces when they realised that their charges had made a hasty getaway but it was worth it just to imagine it all. She gave a gleeful giggle and clapped her hands, getting a strange look from Theoli.

"Sorry. Just wondering what Tweedledum and Tweedledee will say when they stop bitch-fighting."

Theoli snorted. "Who cares?"

"Point."

"So. Where do we go?"

"I..." Isaviel hesitated. "Okay, this may sound weird, but in the context we're in it probably makes sense. I think I saw someone flying over in that direction." She pointed in the general area she saw the figure earlier.

"...flying."

"On a broomstick."

"On a-" Theoli stopped and thought for a while. "Well. I guess... witches."

"Yeah. I'm not actually sure it was what I think it was though, so I say we should go look."

"Meh," Theoli shrugged. "I guess we've nothing better to do."

The two tried to take in their surroundings as they walked on, looking at all the windows and tall towers, seeing, once or twice, small groups of other students who were hanging around generally chilling out. They managed to slip past these students without being noticed, and noted that the group was always made of students from one particular house.

When they came out the other side of the school grounds they saw a huge field with tall stands dotted around the edges. High up in the sky were several people, all on broomsticks, flying haphazardly in any and all directions. Isaviel grabbed Theoli's sleeve as the two girls stared skywards, mouths open.

"Oh my GOD, CB," she whispered, tugging on the sleeve.

"I know."

"They're on brooms, CB."

"I know."

"They're flying, CB. FLYING!"

"I KNOW." Theoli yanked her sleeve back. "I'm going to take a closer look."

"How, fly?"

Theo gave her an unimpressed stare. "No, go up into the stands." She headed towards the nearest of the large stands, which was covered in the Blue and Bronze colours of Ravenclaw. There was nobody in them so she assumed it would be fine.

"Ooh, good idea, wait for me!"

After their epic climb to the top - during which they had to take breaks before they died of heart attacks - they took seats at the front and looked out across what they assumed was a pitch of some sort. They watched the group of flyers for a while (who were all wearing lavish robes of red and gold), working out the rules of the game as much as they could and only succeeding in totally confusing themselves. They were deep in discussion about what the rules actually were when they heard a distant cry of "Look out!"

The girls looked over and saw a solid-looking ball heading directly for them at an incredible speed. Eyes widening in horror, they just about managed to push away from each other as the object zipped between them and crashed right through the back of the stand without even slowing down at the obstruction. Theoli was dumbfounded and unable to move, clinging to the seat that she had fallen onto. Isaviel peered through the hole. "What the hell-"

For the second time that day, Isaviel was cut short by an object hitting her square in the face, thankfully not moving as fast as it had been when it made the hole, most probably because of it's sudden direction change. Either way, Isaviel was violently knocked back and fell over the stand's railing, losing consciousness as she fell.

When Isaviel returned to consciousness she sat bolt upright, giving a shout of "NO, FRODO! DON'T GIVE IN TO THE RING!" The wave of intense nausea that washed over her made her regret the action almost immediately and she fell backwards onto the soft pillow, groaning, eyes shut tightly with the back of her hand shielding them. "I feel like my face has been run over by a bus. Repeatedly.

A snort. Then a familiar voice quipped, "You look like it too, Fish."

The injured girl opened one eye and moved her hand so she could see her compadre. "Thanks. It's nice to know that you're there for me in my hour of need." Once the nausea dissipated some, she moved her hand and opened her eyes and noted that she was probably in a medical room. Pushing herself into an upright position, she turned back to Theoli. "What happened?"

"Bludger smashed you right in the face." Theoli was eying a bag of sweets on the bedside table for a moment, then turned her attention to Isaviel, eyes brightening as she recalled the excitement. "You should have SEEN it! It was so cool! The guys on the brooms came WOOSHing over, and one hit the bludger - that's what they told me it was called, the ball thing - and it ZOOMed off, but then you FELL. God, that was so scary. THEN another one of the guys SWOOPs down and catches you and you were - I shit you not - not even 2 meters from the ground!" Theoli was stood on her chair, acting out each of the exciting moments of her story.

Isaviel smiled as much as her broken face would allow. "Good to see someone enjoyed the show."

"Seriously. Speaking of which, Severus and Sirius are getting a right telling-off from Dumbledore and two other teachers. It's been going on for about an hour now."

"Ah, the Tweedletwins found us."

"Actually, we found them. I told Dumbledore that they were arguing so we decided to try and find the common rooms ourselves. We went back to where we'd left them and they were still there, arguing about whose fault it was that we'd wandered off..." She began eyeing the bag of sweets again. "Are you going to open those?"

Isaviel saw the small bag. "Are they for me?"

"I guess so."

"Well, you can open them if you want. Be careful of the snot flavoured ones, though."

Theoli laughed. "And the earwax ones?"

"Yes!"

The two fell silent. "...wait, what?" Another awkward silence before the two start speaking simultaneously.

"How do you know-"

"What do you mean-"

Silence again. Theoli put the bag back. "I think I might pass on these."

"May be a good idea."

The doors opened and Dumbledore came in, followed by three boys, one of whom was dressed like the people who were flying around on their brooms earlier. Theoli leaned in. "That's the one who caught you. The one in the Quidditch robes."

"Quidditch?"

"The game they were playing. They taught me all the rules while you were out cold."

"Tell me later," Isaviel said quickly as the group got close.

"Good evening, Miss Fortesque. I trust you're feeling alright?"

"Yes, thanks," she said, smiling as much as she could. "Though my face hurts."

"Indeed. You had broken practically all the bones in your face, I hear." Dumbledore chuckled at the look of horror on the young girl's face. "Don't worry; they're all mended so the most you will have to deal with is the aches and bruises."

Isaviel gave a sigh of relief, readily accepting the explanation that her face was broken but was obviously now mended. She looked to Severus and Sirius - who were looking at their feet - then at the nameless boy, who was resting his chin on his hands on the top of the handle of his broom, looking quite bored. Dumbledore turned to the Quidditch player. "This is James Potter," he said, then looked back to Isaviel with a smile. "I am led to believe he made an excellent catch as you fell from the stand."

James grinned and gave a short salute as way of greeting. Isaviel smiled. "Thanks."

"I tend to have a habit of making girls fall into my lap," he said, giving a cheeky wink to which the girls rolled their eyes. He looked at Dumbledore. "Too much?"

The headmaster shook his head. "Probably, but since when has that stopped you?"

"You know me so well, sir. May I go now? The team briefing's being held up."

The headmaster gave a warm smile. "Of course, thank you for staying."

James smiled to each of the girls then tapped Sirius on the shoulder to give him a thumbs up and a sympathetic grin before making an exit. The warmth and kindness in Dumbledore's face drained away as he turned to look at the two remaining boys. "Now," he began, voice devoid of any emotion. "What am I to do with you? First you are caught fighting in the hallways and now you ignored a direct request to escort these ladies safely to their respective common rooms, resulting in one serious injury."

The boys said nothing.

"She could have been killed, do you boys realise this?"

They nodded, still silent.

The headmaster gave a heavy sigh, suddenly looking weary enough for Theoli to get up and offer her chair to him. He took her offer with a grateful smile. "Severus, Sirius, I do believe I have mentioned once today that I do not expect you to be the greatest of friends," he began, voice stern but not unkind. "I do not intend to make you become friends; that would be foolish of me to even attempt. I do expect you to have enough respect for other people to carry out my requests without letting your own personal vendettas cloud your judgement."

Theoli and Isaviel exchanged dumbfounded glances before turning to the headmaster and breaking out into a hearty round of applause, earning themselves three very surprised looks. The headmaster laughed, suddenly looking less troubled. "I thank you, ladies. Now I must leave. I trust that you two will be able to carry through with my request this time?"

"Yes, sir," the boys said.

The girls waved to the headmaster as he walked past the windows, then turned to the awkwardly fidgety boys in front of them. Isaviel raised an eyebrow. "I didn't think it was possible for you two to stay so quiet for so long."

Sirius flushed, angrily, and gave her a glare.

"Don't you do the whole 'I hate Slytherins' thing with me, mister," Isaviel said, indignantly. "May I remind you that I'm the one who got her face broken."

He lowered his voice and muttered. "James should have let you fall."

"Oh yes?" Theoli folded her arms, growing more irritated by the second. "And where, pray tell, would this have left you? 'Oh, it's alright, Sirius, it was the Slytherin, totally not your fault even though neither of you was paying any sort of attention'? It's as much your responsibility as it would be Severus' responsibility if I'd fallen!"

Severus raised his eyebrows and looked at Sirius, who was positively seething. Isaviel got out of the bed and tried to calm the two down. "Listen, guys, it's fine, we're all okay, we should-"

"I wasn't talking to you," Sirius spat. He turned back on Theoli. "You. How could you hang out with her. She's a Slytherin."

Theoli said nothing, waiting for a more understandable explanation of his accusation. When she realised she wasn't going to get one, she smiled at him and began to speak as if he were a little slow. "So...your point is?"

Isaviel frowned. "What's wrong with being in Slytherin?" She looked from Snape to Sirius.

"Yeah," Theoli agreed, hands on her hips. "What's wrong with you people? So she's got a green tie not a red one or whatever... What's the difference?"

Before Severus or Sirius could reply Isaviel picked up the end of her tie and looked at it. "I like green."

"Me too. Still wish I was in Hufflepuff though. Yellow for the win!"

"I'm happy with green, and silver is pretty."

Sirius and Severus looked at each other, completely dumbfounded. They didn't know how to handle the two girls, and they shock seemed to have lessened their need to argue once every ten minutes. Severus cleared his throat. "You're not from around here, are you?"

Theoli smacked her forehead with palm of her hand. "Goodness, what gave it away?"

Severus ignored the comment and continued. "The houses have always had some degree of rivalry because of the House Cup and the Quidditch matches; each house wants to win and come top, and that's only natural. It's sort of seen as a bit of a betrayal to your house if you start being friendly with other houses, especially those of a... lesser status."

Before Sirius could demand what exactly was meant by the last comment, Theoli butted in. "I don't get it."

"What don't you get?"

"I just... don't get it. Why the rivalry?"

"I just explained that."

"No, you explained where the rivalry comes from but not why you bother with it."

"Well-"

Isaviel frowned. "So what, people from different houses can't be friends?"

"I didn't-"

Theoli continued. "And if we were friends before it would be destined to end?"

"That's not-"

Isaviel picked back up. "And we're somehow going to be shunned because we decide that this is the single most stupid thing we have ever heard of, EVER?"

Theoli leapt back from Isaviel. "SHUN! SHUN THE NON-BELIEVER!"

Isaviel snorted, ignoring her friend's sudden outburst. "What we're saying is, you don't have to be friends, and your view of him-" she said, pointing to Severus and then to Sirius. "-is perfectly fine. Letting it convince you that all Gryffindors are like that and you'll hate them all is just stupid."

"Rivalry is fine, it's healthy in small doses. Rivalry that promotes hate is just wrong and it only leads to bad things." Theoli nodded, profoundly.

"Wise, wise words, Theo. Channelling Dumbledore?"

"Naturally," she said, winking.

"Oh, fine," Sirius said, defeated. "Just don't say we didn't warn you."

"I do believe that we are not the ones who need warning."

"Miss Runkle, I do believe you're right."

"Why thankyou, Miss Bate- I mean, Miss Fortesque."

"Whatever," Severus said, shaking his head. "Whatever you decide is up to you, I suppose. Just don't lose your house any points and you'll be fine."

"Right. Points good."

"We should get back to the common room. You'll need to meet the other Gryffindors before you go to sleep," Sirius headed towards the door, shoulders hunched and hands in his pocket. "I'll be waiting outside."

"Well, I guess I'll see you tomorrow, amigo."

"Damn right."

Theoli put her fist to her heart. "Stay mellow."

Isaviel mirrored the action. "Naturally. Peace out."

"Word."

Theoli left, following Sirius along the corridor, leaving Isaviel to put her shoes back on whilst Severus waited for her. Once she was ready they left, heading the opposite direction that Theoli and Sirius had taken, walking in total silence until they finally reached the entrance where Severus turned to face her. "Listen, your sentiments about your Gryffindor friend are fine and would probably be just about tolerated if you do well enough for the house," he began in a hushed voice. "But there are some people who would persecute you for it, especially if she's a mudblood."

Isaviel grimaced. "That's a horrible thing to say."

"That as may be, I'm just warning you. Be careful who you talk so freely around."

"Does this include you?"

"I..." He frowned. "Let's go."

Nice dodge, she thought, following Snape through into the common room.

Reviews would be loved. ;D

Also, forgive me for any spelling mistakes. I tried to weed them all out, I promise.