Disclaimer: I'm sure you'll all be surprised to know that I don't, in fact, own Death Note or Teenage Dirtbag. –shock horror!– But I better say that I don't own any of the other stuff I mention later on, either, including Daz, Sharpies and David Beckham.

AN: Thank you for all the reviews/favs/alerts! And I forgot to mention last time: Thank you to Felnorfor the Misa-pig-tail-dig inspiration. Prom night time… (BTW, this isn't the last chapter)

Teenage Dirtbag

Chapter 3: Prom Night

Man, I feel like mould. It's Prom night and I am lonely. Lo and behold he's walking over to me. This must be fake; my lip starts to shake. How does he know who I am? And why does he give a damn about me?

'Cause I'm just a teenage dirtbag, baby.

I was dreading Prom night. Traditionally, everyone was expected to go with a partner, and just like in gym class, no one would ever partner me.

And this time there was no Mogi-sensei to force Yagami into going with me.

I was also dreading going home. I'd had a crazy day and was not looking forward to hearing Mello's screeching from the minute I set foot in the doorway until he decided it was a decent hour to go to sleep. Unfortunately, I'd have to extend that time scale as I heard the temper tantrum exploding from a class room on my right.

"What do you mean I didn't get one hundred percent?" This was followed by some apologetic mumbling from who I deduced was his maths teacher, Matsuda. "Near got one hundred, so why didn't I? You must have marked it wrong!"

Feeling slightly responsible, and out of pity for the poor man being screamed at by the most hormonal blonde on this planet – females included – I decided to intervene.

"I apologise profusely, Matsuda-sensei." I said, bowing as I walked through the door into what now looked like a battlefield from World War Three. "Mello, what the hell did you do?"

I glanced around, barely taking in the damage that had been caused by my little cousin. All I could see was that at least three of the desks had been overturned – including one that had once supported the work books of a whole class ready for marking, which were now scattered about the feet of a quivering Matsuda – a potted plant had been smashed covering the young teacher's trouser legs with soil, and Near had won a nice purple bruise to his left eye. Matt, however was sitting on an untouched desk, playing silently on his new Game Boy Advance SP. A curiously tidy patch of class room surrounded him.

Signature Mello destruction.

"He marked my paper wrong!"

The man in question shook his head, back against his desk in an attempt to get as far away from Mello as possible. "N-no, I d-didn't. W-Wammy-san, it was an easy m-mistake to m-make."

Near sighed.

"I did not make a mistake!" Mello lunged at a cowering Matsuda, retracting his fist in preparation to give him a bruise to match Near's.

"Mello, no!" I tried to grab the crazed teen's arms as he flew through the air, but he deftly dodged my hands. Near face-palmed and felt like doing the same as the angered blonde collected a fistful of Matsuda's shirt. Said teacher squirmed under Mello's grasp and said teen growled. I feared for Matsuda's life as I uselessly grabbed at Mello's arm. "Mello, stop!" He didn't listen to me. I doubted he could hear anything over the sounds of his breathing and Matsuda's screams.

I closed my eyes and heard a soft voice murmur behind me.

"Mello." The blonde straightened up immediately, releasing the poor man who I was surprised to see was unharmed.

"Sorry, Matt."

I should have known. The only person Mello would ever listen to was Matt.

"You could've spoken up sooner, you know, Matt." I sighed as Mello walked back to look his soul mate in the eye.

"Mello, please don't kill Matsuda-sensei, he didn't actually do anything wrong." I almost felt the vibration of the Earth as Mello's blood boiled.

"He marked my paper wrong!"

"It can easily be re-marked, Mello."

Matsuda bravely stood up and raised his hand. "But I-"

Matt glared past Mello at the idiot behind him. I supposed Matsuda had a death wise. "It can easily be re-marked."

The young teacher sank down to his knees, nodding. I thought I heard him mumble something about not signing up for this. Poor guy.

We eventually managed to leave the destroyed class room and left Matsuda to clean up Mello's mess – much to my dismay, but the blonde was set on storming out with everyone in tow and I wasn't about to trust him walking home unsupervised in this mood. B was waiting at the gate for us with Linda-senpai, who was ogling a near-by first year girl.

"Linda-senpai, you might want to be a little more inconspicuous when acting like a paedophile." I suggested as we left the school grounds and headed down the crowded street towards our house.

"I'm hardly being a paedophile, she's only a couple of years younger than me and you've got to admit, she's cute."

I glanced over at the girl in question. She had a small, round face and her dark brown hair was tied back in a high ponytail. She did have somewhat of an endearing bounce as she walked, laughing with her friends. But it was her eyes that drew me in most. They were wide, deep brown and held a familiar sparkle.

I found out why when I looked up from her face to see a certain seventeen year old hunk urging her to hurry up. "Come on, Sayu-chan."

"One second, Onii-san, I'll be there in a minute."

Onii-san. So Yagami had a little sister.

"L, stop staring or you'll be the one accused of being a paedophile."

Linda-senpai grabbed my arm and dragged me down the road, away from the bickering siblings. But I managed to keep them in sight long enough to see Yagami wave absently in my direction with one of his dazzling smiles.

"Was that…" B started.

"Did Light Yagami just wave at you?" Linda-senpai almost screamed.

I merely stood, eyes wide, finger to lips, smiling like a cat who had just caught a fish that deserved to be in the Guinness Book of World Records and earned a scratch on the stomach from the Queen of England.

Something in my metaphorical fantasy told me that I missed Winchester. But alas, Wammy-san had sent us to have a Japanese education because he thought it would good for me to get back to my roots. I did point out to him that I could have gotten back to my roots in four different countries, including England, but he loves the Japanese education system, and so nothing I could have said would have stopped him.

"How the hell did you manage to earn a wave from Mr Popular?"

I honestly didn't know.

"I bet it was a dare." Mello piped up.

"Thank you so much for the boost in self-confidence, Mello." But as I said it, I couldn't help but wonder whether it was a dare, and he was merely doing it for a laugh.

But he looked so sincere as he spoke to me. His eyes didn't hold any ulterior motive; he must have meant it…

Or he was just a really good actor.

Which was probably the case, as he seemed to be perfect in every other way; why shouldn't he be absolutely flawless?

Life is so unfair.

I could tell from Linda-senpai's worried expression that i had ceased to look like a smiling fool a while ago.

"What's up, Lawli-kohai?" I had never been so happy to hear Linda-senpai's nickname for me in all my life.

"Oh, nothing, Linda-senpai, everything is exactly as it usually is. Absolutely nothing has changed." So why do I feel like this?

"It must be 'cause of Prom night tomorrow." B said, nudging me. "There someone you want to ask but you're too chicken? Or did you ask and get rejected?"

"Nothing of the sort." I said, although I suspected that there was some truth in it.

"Poor Lawlipop, he really has no friends." Now that was a nickname I could live without.

"Jee, B, thanks for that."

"Anytime, little bro." He said in English and my heart sank even lower.

"What the hell happened to your face?" Beyond finally decided to notice that our albino cousin had a black splodge on his face half way through devouring his ramen at the kitchen table. Not that the table itself was visible anymore. It was covered in newspapers, various grades of homework – some dating back at least two years, un-washed kitchen utensils, ramen pots, mugs, spoons, coffee stains, chocolate stains, jam stains, yaoi manga, pens- Wait, what? Yaoi manga? Whose is that?

"Mello." I should have known…

Oh right, he was answering B's question, not mine. Must remember to pay attention…

"And why did Mello hit you? I presume he did hit you and not just scribble on your face with Sharpies."

To be honest, looking at the boy doing a rather convincing impression of a sheep across the table from me, it did look an awful lot like David Beckham had decided to market in Japan. It was a very nasty bruise, to say the least, and the situation was not helped by the fact Near's skin was as white as sheet that had just been washed with the newest range of Daz.

I really wasn't having a good day for making up metaphors.

"Mello hit me because I beat him at a test today and he had a temper tantrum."

"That hasn't been proven yet!" The only thing that kept Mello from making Near's face nice and symmetrical was Matt's hand firmly locked around his.

Seriously, where did Wammy-san find us all? Freaks-r-us?

Oh, please, not another British joke.

"Mello, you really must learn to control your emotions."

"What, just like you?" I raised an eyebrow at B.

"Yes, the trick is to be calm and peaceful."

"And beat the shit out of any first years that get in your way."

"No profanities at the table." B grinned.

About a minute passed before curiosity got the better of me.

"Whose is the yaoi manga?"

Another minute passed in awkward silence.

But only a minute.

"Mello's."

"Not it's not! It's Beyond's!"

"Yeah right, you little liar!"

"Well, if it's not yours, it must be Matt's."

"No way! I don't read girly shit like that!"

"Ha, I bet you read fan fiction, too."

"Do not!"

"No, but Near does."

"How did I end up as one of the suspects?"

"Because you're here."

During this whole exchange of accusations, I had silently picked up the root cause of the argument and was peacefully reading away as they settled their dispute amongst themselves.

My alarm rang, alerting me to the fact that the day I had been dreading for the whole year was upon me.

Maybe if I just stay in bed, no one will notice I'm not there.

"Lawlipop!"

Fuck off.

"Lawlipop!"

Fuck off.

"Lawlip-"

"Fuck off, B!"

But by this time, he had already whipped off my duvet and presented me with a button-up shirt and a pair of creaseless black trousers. Since when do we have an iron?

"Wammy-san sent these for you especially for Prom night. He sent some for me, Mello, Matt and Near for ours, too."

I hoped my expression would notify my annoying older brother that I was not impressed.

"Aw, come on, Lawli. It'll be fun!"

"Define 'fun'."

"I thought you were meant to be a genius."

"Ditto."

The rest of the day passed painfully slowly, but I tried to take it as a blessing in disguise as it meant that I didn't have to face the rest of my year before I'd gained enough courage. The thought of everyone staring at the only loner in the hall made me shiver. Sure, I was used to being on my own and being stared at, but under the disco lights and listening to corny music blasted out by speakers that made the ground vibrate made it all the more awkward.

I couldn't even take comfort in the fact that Yagami liked me. Mello's words echoed in my head, I bet it was a dare. It probably was. I don't know how I'd even begun to think that Light Yagami had spoken to me out of his free will.

I didn't know what would be worse, Yagami talking to me at Prom, while his friends sniggered behind my backs knowing full well it was a dare, or Yagami ignoring me.

I think I'd rather be ignored.

And this was the thought I took with me into the crowded gym.

As soon as my foot stepped onto the wooden floor I felt incredibly self-conscious. I was wearing the shirt Wammy-san had sent me, but I'd refused to wear B's tie. I was regretting that decision as I scanned the hall and found that all the guys were wearing black ties… and jackets.

Shit, I didn't realise it would be so formal.

Just as I'd expected, everyone was glaring at me. I didn't know whether it was because I was the only one without a jacket and tie, or because I was on my own, or because I just wasn't socially acceptable in general, but whatever it was, it was uncomfortable.

But I guess my subconscious had been at work during my scan of my classmates as my eyes fell on a particular person standing towards the back of the gym, at what looked like the drinks table. Amane was still clinging to his arm in an outfit hardly appropriate for a high school girl in public. The length of her black lace skirt would have made a Dutch prostitute blush. And as usual, Takada and Mikami weren't far away, although it looked like – much to Takada's distaste – they had come as a couple.

I decided it was better not to induce any unnecessary conversation with Yagami as such may cause yet more ridicule. Instead, I opted for an empty table at the edge of the hall and sat, waiting until an appropriate time to make my exit. B would have just sent me back if I returned home too early. I had considered hanging around town for a couple of hours, but in these clothes I wanted to be seen by the public as little as possible.

Resisting the temptation to get a drink – as Yagami was still very close to the table – I simply bobbed my head in time to the cheesy music, cringing every so often at the ridiculous lyrics. I love you this and Don't leave me that. A sick bucket would have been much appreciated.

I was forced to concentrate on a rather uninteresting part of the wall as two of my classmates decided it was safe to sit next to me, only to start eating each other's faces within thirty seconds of looking into each other's eyes with that disgusting look I've seen Amane give Yagami. Who, interestingly enough, never returned it.

After counting the number of tiny cracks in the paintwork three times, I thought it diplomatic to leave the love birds in peace and get something to drink. It was just my luck that Yagami had not moved from the spot since I walked in. Trying my best to ignore him and the dirty look I received from his girlfriend, I picked up an unopened bottle of an orange substance I hoped wasn't too alcoholic.

I heard some whispers from behind my back and guessed that Yagami's friends were trying to get him to talk to me again. Seriously, can't they just leave me alone?

"Lawliet-san!" His voice sent a shiver down my spine, but I didn't turn, just walked casually in the other direction as if I hadn't heard. "Lawliet!" The calls persisted, but I was determined to hold my course.

Pushing through loitering couples holding hands or- urgh - I made my way to yet another uninhabited table. But a hand on my shoulder held me back from my goal.

"Lawliet-san, wait."

I span on my heel, dreading how my heart would react to seeing his face again.

Sure enough, his smile took my breath away. I was beginning to sound like one of the cheesy songs raging through the speakers, something was seriously wrong with me.

"Yes, Yagami-san?" I tried to keep my voice steady, but speaking fluently in your sixth language while gazing into the eyes of possibly the most attractive seventeen year old guy on the planet with a smile to rival an angel's and the figure of a Greek god was not easy. Especially when he was wearing a very trimming suit and his hair was – if it was possible – even more perfect than usual.

"I w-t-d t- -sk –oo s-th-g." Was all that could be heard over the blaring music. The DJ was the third person I had considered murdering in two days.

"Sorry, Yagami-san, I can't hear you!"

"What?"

"I said I-" He grabbed my arm and dragged me towards the door, leaning into my ear.

"Sorry, Lawliet-san, I can't hear you. How about we go outside where it's quieter?"

I just nodded dumbly while my brain took in the situation.

I was being forcefully dragged outside by Light Yagami so that he could talk to me… alone.

Whoever came up with this dare was a very cruel human being.

As we reached the small courtyard space out the side door of the gym, I heard Yagami mumble something, but it was incomprehensible over the beating of my heart.

My eyes were locked on his face. The moon was full in the sky and emitted a ghostly white light, highlighting the blossom on the Sakura trees that surrounded the quiet space and drifted through the air when the slight breeze blew by into the secluded spot. The same moonlight smoothly reflected off Yagami's tanned skin, making it glow. His hair shone as it framed his magnificent features and I had to try my hardest to resist the urge to reach out and replace a lock that had fallen out of place. The music from within the hall drifted out, muted by the closed doors, making it more than bearable. In fact, I found that it was actually quite pleasant to hear while looking at the angel before me.

A stray blossom petal drifted by his shoulder, and I had to mentally pinch myself to make sure I wasn't dreaming

I soon after realised that he was in fact trying to talk to me, but I was lost in his eyes. The eyes I felt like I could fall into and be enveloped by his very soul.

"Lawliet-san? Lawliet, are you alright? You look… kind of… well I was going to say like a paedophile, because you really do, but I don't think that would be quite diplomatic, so I'll settle for… ill."

I scoffed in a rather unattractive manner and immediately scolded myself for it.

"Um… no, I'm fine, and I'm sorry for looking like a paedophile. I've been told I look like that a lot."

"Oh, no, you don't usually… I mean you look normal… well not normal, but… oh, hell that came out wrong… you don't look normal, but I think that's cool… oh dear, that sounded cheesy…"

I lifted my hand as a gesture to stop digging, although I would have liked to hear how he talked himself out of it, which he most probably would have done in a beautifully eloquent manner. My head span for a while as I took in what he had said.

He thinks I'm cool?

Yeah, it was definitely a dare.

"Yagami-san, have you been dared to talk to me?"

For a moment his expression was completely blank, then confused – which I have to say was quite adorable – and then he laughed.

"Of course not, Lawliet-san, what makes you think that?" He said, still fighting back his laughter.

"Well, no one would talk to me out of their own will, especially not you."

He continued to chuckle and ended turning a light shade of pink. "Lawliet-san, I thought I would be able to have an intelligent conversation with you, but if this is all you can come up with." He turned and started back towards the door to the gym, but I lunged and caught his arm.

"Wait, I'm sorry, it's just… no one ever talks to me, I guess I just…"

By this time, Yagami had stopped and was facing me completely. But I had yet to remove my hand from his arm.

I'm touching Light Yagami… again! My inner fan-girl squealed and I only just manage to stop myself from visibly grimacing.

"Oh, sorry, Yagami-san." I lifted my hand slowly, but Yagami caught it mid-air and brought it into a hand shake.

"Light, please."

I paused for a couple of seconds to process what he meant, then answered, "L."

I'm on first name terms with him. OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG! I really did need to rein that girl in a bit.

"Anyway, L-kun, I wanted to ask you something."

My heart shouldn't have reacted in the way it did, but after the last couple of days, anything could happen.

"Are you free tomorrow afternoon?"

"Hell yes!" I clamped my mouth shut with my free hand and cursed my tongue for acting before I gave it permission. "I mean, of course, Yaga- Light-kun."

His smile blew me away and for a moment I felt like I could have been knocked over by the slightest waft of the wind if Light's hand hadn't been steadying me.

Speaking of which, it was still held tightly in my own. But he didn't seem to notice, so who was I to spoil the moment?

"Great, I would love to play tennis with you again, and I know the perfect place to have a game just down the road from me. How about we have lunch? I don't mean to sound like a stalker or anything, but, I know where you live, so I'll pick you up at say… half nine-ish?"

"Sure, there's a place I go to a lot that does the best chocolate fudge cake on this planet."

"It's a date."

…

…

Fuck.

It's just a figure of speech.

It means nothing.

Then why the hell are my cheeks bright red?

Maybe it's because he's squeezing your hand.

…

Shit.

Yagami withdrew his hand and glanced down at his watch.

"Damn, I left Misa alone with Kiyomi-chan and Teru-kun, she'll have probably had a breakdown by now without me."

I officially hate Misa Amane's guts. With a passion.

"Of course, you go, Light-kun, I better be getting home anyway. B will get worried if I'm out too late, he'll probably think I've been beaten up seeing as I don't have any friends who could've held me up this long."

"Well, I guess you do now."

I froze.

He's my… friend? He said it himself. I have a friend of my own… and it's Light Yagami. Well fuck me; a lot can happen in two days, huh?

"Well, I'll see you tomorrow, L-kun."

"Uh, yeah. Bye."

I took a moment to watch him go. The slight swing of his hips showing off his oh-so magnificent ass as he sauntered towards the door of the gym. His hair bounced up and down, the light glinting off it in caramel rays. The Sakura petals fell around him, making his frame that of a fairy-tale prince wandering off in the moonlight. That must be it; this is a fairy-tale. It can't be real. I've read too many soppy love stories and they're corrupting my dreams.

Because that's all this is… a dream.

Ouch.

Then why did it hurt when I pinched myself?

AN: Kawaii! Teh cuteness reigns supreme, people. Anyways, hope you enjoyed it and please please please please please review, because the more reviews I get, the faster I update, kay?

^.^