"There is nothing heavier than compassion. Not even one's own pain weighs so heavy as the pain one feels with someone, for someone, a pain intensified by the imagination and prolonged by a hundred echoes"

Milan Kundera

REACHING YOU

Dew sparked in the morning's sunlight, but Enos didn't see it, nor he heard a dog woofing somewhere or the smell of the ground as he stopped his patrol car in front of his aunt Minnie's and uncle Opie's farm, as the first day of the month, every month since he came back to Hazzard from the Police Academy: he had to repay them for all the time and patience (and money) they used when he lived there after his father death, he had to repay them for taking care of him after Thomas Strate' death. He walked to the fence, his uncle Opie already working hard in his patch of land, so occupied he didn't notice his nephew 'till he called him.

"Good morning uncle Opie"

The man looked at the deputy, his eyes half closed because of the sunlight, but not so closed not to notice the envelope in Enos' hands: it meant money.

Opie Strate leaned his scythe against a near tree, wiping away the sweat on his forehead with his handkerchief, and in that exact moment Minnie Strate came out the farm, a glass of lemonade in her hand.

"Here's the money. And with this one, there are only 2 months left to repay totally my debt with you". He lived in that farm 7 years (since he was 10 years old 'till he went to Police Academy, the only way he found to become independent, with an honest work), and he had to pay his "family" (could he use the word "family"?) an amount of money he'd needed 16 years to get. But his debt seemed fortunately finally ended, 'cause no much money remained to him between his monthly rent at the Boarding House and his monthly debt to his family, and, besides, along his life he'd needed money to solve other problems, and he felt he'd have needed again some money in the near future.

"Yeah, only two months left", Opie Strate took the envelope from Enos' hands controlling the money inside, as he didn't trust his nephew, and Enos clenched his fists, an imperceptible and brief gesture, a gesture only few people could catch (people who knew him very well, and there were really few people knowing him so well in Hazzard).

"I heard Rose Strate's back, isn't she?"

Enos turned to his aunt Minnie, an innocent smile on his face, "Yeah, did you see her?"

"No, I didn't see her, but everyone knows 'bout her show at the Boar's Nest yesterday evening", in Minnie's voice there was both sarcasm and malice, the same way she called him "the nut's son" when he stayed at the farm.

Another brief and imperceptible clenching of his fists before to shrug indifferently and smile, "Yeah, you know her, aunt Minnie. I gotta go, now. Bye".

He recalled Boar's Nest customers' eyes on him as he dragged his mother, the more gently as possible, outside, in order to bring her home to sober up; he could still feel her alcoholic breath on his neck and her arm around his waist as she leaned against him, bein' barely able to stand on her feet. He avoided all those eyes piercing him like knives, and he especially avoided Daisy's eyes, but, despite his attempt not to look at her, he caught her look: she was looking at him with her eyes wide open in order not let her tears fall, she was looking at him with compassion, and he hated to be pitiful to anyone's eyes, especially Daisy's eyes.

As he walked to his patrol car the sunlight blinded him, the light bein' even more glaring because of tears in his eyes.

"Hey, Daisy, is something wrong?"

Her look lost in the sun sparkling outside the kitchen's window, Daisy didn't hear uncle Jesse coming close her.

"I hate Rose Strate. I really don't know how that woman could be Enos' mother"

Uncle Jesse sighed, sitting at the table in front of his niece.

"Enos is pretty different from any other of his family, fortunately. His father Thomas was a good man, honest and trustworthy, as Enos, yeah, but too much strict and not much loving. Anyway, better for Enos to live with him than with Minnie and Opie Strate", uncle Jesse looked absently at the cupboard behind Daisy, lost in his own memories, before to stare at Daisy, "Why are you sayin' something so… harsh? You shouldn't use the word HATE, Daisy, never".

"You weren't at the Boar's Nest, yesterday, uncle Jesse, if you had been there, well, you'd have used the same word", Daisy folded her arms, a gesture perfectly showing her rage and disappointment.

"Are you talking 'bout Rose Strate having fun with Edward McFly at the Boar's Nest before Enos dragged her away?"

Daisy flared up hearing Bo's amused tone, and the blonde Duke froze realizing Daisy's way to look at him as he came closer the table.

"There's nothing to laugh of, Bo. That woman was flirting with a married man in a … so blatant way, and she was totally drunk"

"Yeah, and that married man seemed happy of it, since Rose Strate is still a beautiful woman", Luke sat at the table, somehow coming for help of his younger blonde cousin. "Besides, your way to flirt with men, fortunately not married men, is not much different from Rose Strate's way, or other women's way, even if you're sober", he thought, a brief look at the pan on the stove advising him to avoid to state word-of-mouth "the flirting topic"; anyway, Luke had to admit it was really embarrassing to see a woman of that age acting like that, and totally drunk, whereas Daisy, despite her various flings and her way of flirting (not less blatant than Rose Strate's one), in the last years seemed more mature and quiet: thinking 'bout it, Luke didn't remember Daisy flirting with anyone else but Enos in the last two years, her last crush bein' Darcy, exactly two years before.

Daisy stood up with rage, "Bo, Luke, don't you really understand how much it's… humiliating and painful… for Enos!?", then she stormed outside the kitchen, leaving the three men wondering 'bout the obvious, and sad, truth in her words, the silence filling the kitchen and interrupted only by the roar of Daisy's jeep as she drove away.

His eyes. Daisy couldn't forget his eyes; she'd spent all the night tossing and turning in her bed, distressed by those eyes, eyes trying desperately to shun her except for a brief (few seconds) but revealing moment. In his eyes there was shame (of what's happening), pride (his way to tell everyone "everything's OK, don't look at me like that, I don't want your pity") and pain, especially pain: a pain so deep she managed to catch his tears, even if he was holding them back in a stoical way, but, since he was Enos, the man always hiding his deep emotions behind smiles, kindness and indifferent shrugs, those held tears were a scaring proof of his grief.

Without even realizing it, her mind still at the Boar's Nest, Daisy arrived in town and she realized there was no reason to be there (no shopping, no post office, no bank, nothing) but Enos: she had to see him, to talk to him, to hug him… to reach him into his darkness.

Walking to the Hazzard County Building she relaxed: his patrol car was outside the building, so there was no need to look for him. Before she entered, the door opened and he came out, nearly bumping against her.

"Uh, Daisy. Sorry, I didn't see you"

She smiled at him, but her smile faded as she saw his red eyes, "Enos, what…?"

"I gotta go, I'm sorry. I have to go to the Bank. Boss' order"

He walked away and Daisy needed some time to react, her feet stuck on the ground. She managed to move and she followed him, stretching out her arm, her hand grabbing his shirt from behind, "Enos, please"

He stopped and he slowly turned to her, "Daisy, please, I have to…", then he stopped, Daisy hugging him so surprisingly tight he could feel all her body pressed against him, her arms wrapped around his chest, her hands grabbing his shirt between his shoulder blades. Was he so pitiful? Or did she love him so much?

Daisy, her faced buried in his chest, inhaled his scent. There was no need to talk; besides, what to say to him?

"Daisy, please, I…", his hands reached her elbows and he gently pushed her away, freeing him from her hug, "I really appreciate your… kindness… and your worrisome", a way to tell her he knew why she was acting like that without mentioning what happened at the Boar's Nest, "but you'd be more… relaxed. I'm fine. Really"

Daisy looked at the perfect display of his "bein' fine" as he ran away from her, doubling up and vomiting (not more than few gastric juices since his stomach was empty) on the first bush he met, his arms folded on his belly. He cleaned his mouth with the back of his hand as she came closer him, with a look the more distant as possible from a "relaxed" look. And before she could talk, he was trying again to relax her.

"I'm OK, don't worry"

"OK? Enos, sugar, you are NOT OK. Come on", she grabbed his arm and she walked away from the Hazzard County Building, Enos following her despite his insistences.

"I have to go to the Bank, Daisy, please"

He kept on following her, maybe 'cause he knew perfectly where she was heading, and he was somehow admitting he needed it despite his words.

"You need Doc Appleby"

"Daisy, I'm not a doctor, but I don't think appendix can grow again after it's been removed, and my appendix already burst five years ago, if you don't remember 'bout it".

He was joking, he was playing the fool, but Daisy knew it was one of his countless ways to avoid serious talks. She stopped and she turned to him, on his face all his surprise when he realized she was crying.

"Enos Strate, if you only have the notion to play the fool 'cause you think it's enough to calm me down, just forget 'bout it. I KNOW you better than anyone else HERE, so stop pretending everything's OK, 'cause YOU and I both know nothing's OK"

He looked down at the ground, "Daisy", his voice a whisper, his way to say her name with so many meanings in it: love, thanks, embarrass, defeat.