DISCLAIMER: I own nothing.

Clearly I wasn't allowed to take the children to the first floor after I returned. I had packed my ENTIRE wardrobe, including my extensive collection of shoes and purses. My makeup and hair supplies probably took up another large suitcase, that left me with the tiny one. Three large and one small.

See, the package deal was three large, medium, and small, but over the years my mother lends my stuff out to people who never give it back. I'm very suspicious of a nice three piece set Jessica's ma has that matches - to the stitching - my luggage, but that is for another time.

Emmett assured me that if they heard a peep out of any of the children - I, apparently was included - I'd be fired on the spot.

The children were now in Tanya's room in front of a big screen TV with a Playstation 3, several games and headphones surrounded by any sort of kid crack (junk food) I could get my hands on. I would not go down on my first day. That would be like those pathetic losers on reality TV. Yeah, thanks for looking like a complete schmuck on national TV, time to go. I don't think so!

"Excuse me, Miss Swan?" The little one, Alice asked. I hated this whole 'Miss Swan' thing. (Oh, and just because my name isn't necessarily the most OBVIOUS of Jewish names - like Stewart - means nothing!)

"Please, call me Bella." I ensure and she twitches a little and looks like she may begin to cry. "Or Miss Bella, or heck, Miss Swan works too. Nanny, loser, jerk. . .just don't do that squinty cry face thing or I'll be kaput!"

"Can you read me a story? This game is giving me a migraine. All these guns and all the blood. It's desensitizing to Jacob, who in less than ten years could be one of those soldiers getting their eye shot in. It's just too much." She sighs. I look at her in amazement, and perhaps utter horror.

The children couldn't be more different. I am assuming the late Mrs. Cullen was not English, or at least not originally. Jacob had darker skin, not a huge difference from the others, but noticeable. And dark brown hair and brown eyes. Alice - the one with the Psych degree over here - had long, LONG, black hair. Straight as an arrow, pale skin and gorgeous slate blue eyes. Honestly, thinking back when Jacob said the house was haunted and I met Alice I thought I was transported to The Ring or something. Maybe The Grudge. This girl was sweet, and quite beautiful, but creeeeeepy nonetheless. Tanya may as well be a supermodel. It didn't hurt that the three of them probably had trust funds worth more than my whole neighborhoods' savings combined. She had strawberry blonde ringlet curls that went to her shoulders, just messed enough to look as if it took twelve hours in a salon. She had green eyes, like her father.

Her father. . . After my near implodement - yes, this is a word, don't waste time looking it up, I swear it's there - when I saw the man earlier today I had a few minutes after to assess his situation. He had to be at least six feet tall, maybe even a few more inches there, I couldn't tell ya if it was the hair or not. The hair was like the kind you get after good sex. Something with which I know nothing about, thank you Mike Newton. . .

Meanwhile, his eyes were this jade green, the most stunning clear dark green I have ever seen. No brown in there, or blue. It wouldn't matter what color he wore, they'd never change. You know how some people with half-assed green eyes (which are very pretty, might I add, not to mention convenient) and they change colors depending on the choice in outfit? Not him. Jade, like the stone. Or like me, when I realized I am so out of his league.

Let me paint you a picture, if I haven't begun already. Take a statue, there are many in Manhattan, but take the one of Adonis. You know the guy, Greek god, hottest thing on two legs. He ain't crap compared to Mr. Edward Cullen the Producer.

Anyway, back to the kid. . .

"Sure, I'll read you a story, what would you like me to read to you?" I ask, smiling.

"I have this book here, it's on mental disorders and how people affected deal with them." She smiled handing me what I assume was a college text book. I raise an eyebrow.

"Sweetie, I thought you'd want Bambi, or Cinderella, or you know, actual fiction." I smile.

"Why bring up Bambi or Cinderella? Both of their mothers are dead, too!" She begins to hyperventilate, and so do I.

"I am so sorry, I was just rambling off Disney. Apparently he's not good for children. Gimme the book, let's go." I open it up to where she wants me to start and begin. She's asleep in like an hour. I can't feel my brain.

"We've played Modern Warfare a hundred times! I can run around Nuke Town with my freaking eyes closed - even when I respawn. Can't we play something else? Mortal Kombat, or a racing game. Look, let me play Sims for a while." Tanya complains. Jacob raises an eyebrow at her.

"First of all, you don't just play Sims for a 'little while'. You'll play until next Tuesday if I let you have it. And second, the only reason you play Sims is because it's the only semblance of a real man and kids, which you will NEVER have because you look like a moose!"

"Hey! Your sister doesn't look like a moose!" I pipe in. She is at an age where if anything negative is pointed out to her about her appearance she'll start puking up her food and worse. . .not eating at all. I swear, ask around, you will never find a bulimic or anorexic Jew. Number one, we love our food, number two we love our food. How could you throw it back up? "There has to be something the two of you can figure out to do until bedtime. or you're hitting it just like Alice did. Now, I'm going to carry her to her room and when I get back something better be settled."

"Yes, Miss Swan. . ." They both sighed. I nodded and off I went taking Alice to her room. I tucked her in and closed her door and that's when I noticed the children were rushing their way down the hall to the stairs. I put myself out there, in the middle of the hallway, waiting for the impact.

"Where do you two think you're going? Get your tuchises back into your room before you get us all in trouble!" I whisper, panicked. "You two must have homework or something to do, now come on."

"We're never allowed to go to Dad's parties. He's embarrassed of us." Tanya sniffled as she and Jacob relented and headed back to his room. My heart broke a little then. Truth be told, my parents never went anywhere without me, granted I was threatened with certain death if I acted up, but still. I was given a chance.

"How about tomorrow we sit down and talk to your dad about how you two feel. I'm sure Alice will agree. He probably thinks it's just boring for you three. Now, settle into bed you two, and I'll be watching. Don't make me lose my job my first day by going against the rules." I pouted. Guilt works on my people, I wasn't entirely sure if it would on rich gentiles.

"Alright, Miss Swan. We're sorry. See you in the morning. You can sleep, too. We won't go downstairs." Jacob replied and I was shocked to see they both looked as if they were telling the truth.

I was exhausted.

I tucked them each into their beds and looked longingly at my closed bedroom door. I decided, even if I wanted to trust them, I'd sit on the bay window sill for just a while. Until I was sure they were asleep.

For just a while. . .

Dear Diary,

The kids are turning out to be an interesting endeavor. Not just the nannying, but the kids. They're all so much alike, yet so different.

Oh, and, I have a mystery to solve.

Someone carried me to my bed last night. . .

A/N: Thanks again for reading. Please take the time to review and let me know what you think. And thanks to all of you who have favorited this little story. I'm squeeing with joy over here!

Joie