We find a solace in the dark

by smac2212

Hidden in the dark there is much to fear but in the cold light of day there is much, much more. Alex Spenser must come to terms with her life as a secret romantic and the events in it, whilst Bruce Wayne must come to terms with Alex Spenser.

3. A place that remains unchanged

Chapter three – A place that remains unchanged

There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered.

Nelson Mandela (1918 - ), 'A Long Walk to Freedom'

The alleyway smelt strongly of the rotting meat and waste that overflowed from the bins that lined the wall. They belonged to the restaurants and bars on the main street that backed onto this secluded alleyway in the centre of town. In the darkness Alex could just make out the exit which lead to the main street a few metres away, aided by the light of one solitary street light. If she hadn't known that her colleagues were just around the corner she might not have been so comfortable. In fact, if they weren't around the corner she doubted very much whether she'd be here at all. She was desperate to charge someone related to this case just to get the press off their backs for a while but for weeks now there had been no leads whatsoever. They'd been trailing a known drug dealer, and everything had gone so well they had set up a sting to catch him. Right at the opportune moment though, they had lost him. She knew if they had been able to charge him and lock him away then things might not be so bad for a lot of people. He was notorious for picking on the vulnerable and needy. He offered them help and then he took all that they had as payment.

He had been off the radar for weeks now, but three days ago a young girl had contacted the police to confirm a sighting of him. She'd had dealings with him before, but she'd been wary to speak out. In the few weeks that he had been gone she'd been able to put things right and she was terrified of what might go wrong now that he was back, and the police were too.

That was why Alex stood waiting for him in the alleyway where he conducted most of his business. They'd chosen a Monday because there was a soup kitchen open across town on that same night and it would be quiet. The dealer wouldn't be expecting her. Alex checked her watch again. It was almost time. She pulled her coat closer around her and pulled her hair down to cover her face a little. She didn't know what to expect from the night ahead, but it certainly wasn't what was about to happen. The dealer came barrelling through the alleyway entrance and seemed not to notice her at first. He was running as if he were chased by the devil himself. He only became aware of Alex when she stepped away from the wall and moved to block his way. he skidded to a halt in front of her looking a little annoyed but not quite angry.

"How much?" He growled, his eyes darting about wildly. Alex didn't speak. She pulled a wad of money from an inside coat pocket and held it out to him. Swiftly the money was gone and replaced with a small package. He pushed Alex to the side and roughly dashed past her and carried on up the alleyway. Alex made a swift check of the package and then stuffed it in her pocket and tore off after the dealer. She had the evidence she needed now. She pulled her radio from her pocket and Alerted Greaves. She knew that in seconds the alleyway would be swarming with police officers and she would lose the dealer completely so she kept running, completely unaware of a black shadow following in her wake.

Running into an adjoining alleyway she realised that she must have lost him. He was nowhere to be seen. What was apparently a dead end in front of her should have prevented him from running any further and she sure as hell knew he hadn't run past her again. She turned then because she thought that she had seen something out of the corner of her eye. There was nothing there now but it had given her the idea she had needed. She used the badly constructed old wall as a ladder and bricks that jutted out here and there became footholds. She climbed to the top of the wall and expected there to be a drop on the other side but instead it was the roof of a building. Now Alex was unsure. She turned to glance behind her but there was no sign of Greaves or anyone else yet. They should have been here by now. She had two choices. The first was to wait for back-up, even though she'd lose her assailant but they'd now have grounds for arrest whenever they next caught sight of him. The second choice; to amble over the roof-tops which from where she was looked extremely dangerous. She didn't know where they led, or for how far they went on before she'd come to a drop. They looked secure enough to hold her weight but she couldn't be entirely sure. She might go crashing through a roof and fall to her death. There was a chance she wouldn't even catch the dealer she'd chased, and her colleagues wouldn't know where she'd gone. She rolled her eyes at her own determination as her feet hit the roof-top running and she sped off. She tried to radio through again, but this time she got no reply.

She didn't know how long she ran for, but she was beginning to lose hope. She hadn't caught another sight of the dealer and twice already she'd come across a jump she'd had to make between two roof-tops. She came to an abrupt halt at the end of a roof. Some of the tiles were loose and she slid towards the edge. She threw her arms out wide and managed to regain her balance. She jumped down from the wall to the pavement and found herself on another street lined with restaurants and bars, she hadn't travelled that far after all. She stood for a few minutes, letting her breath catch her up. She let herself be dazed by all of the bright lights and signs from the businesses opposite before she pulled out her radio to try and make contact again. There was still nothing. Her brow creased as she stared down at the contraption in her hands wondering why it had failed her in her hour of need. If she'd been able to call in back up, they might have caught the dealer, or at the very least they'd have known which direction he'd gone in. Suddenly her thoughts jarred as the light around her darkened slightly, just for a second. Thinking the lights must be flickering she looked up. Above her she could just make out a black mass against the inky indigo night sky.

She didn't have time to ponder what the shape had been because a group of young people passed behehind her at that moment, a young girl shouting at her mobile phone in her hand which appeared to have died. That was it! The battery had died! Alex almost threw the radio to the ground and stamped on it, but she knew she'd lose the moral high ground. Someone hadn't replaced the battery in her radio. That someone was probably Detective Sharp. He was always forgetting to change batteries and to make important statements. They were little things, but regardless of that Alex had grown tired of the never ending list. She knew that there was something not quite right about the man. Greaves had warned her to be wary of him when she'd first started but she hadn't thought that she would need to be until now. If he'd replaced the batteries of the other radios then why did he not do the same with hers? It suddenly seemed to Alex, that someone was trying to sabotage her best efforts to clean up this city.

She took deep breaths and tried to calm herself and work out where she was. She slipped her radio back into her pocket and resolved to ensure that Detective Sharp got a severe telling off for his negligence. She gazed up and down the street looking for something that she might recognise. The street was vaguely familiar, but she still hadn't got to grips with Gotham yet. She didn't have a clue where she was. She'd just call into one of the bars and ask for directions. She crossed the street and noticed that the group of young people who had walked by earlier were now walking back towards her. She took a closer look at the girl with the phone and stopped still in the middle of the street. That was the girl who'd come to the police about the dealer. She walked by Alex with her group of friends and Alex held out her hand to grab the girl's wrist when she saw it. Out of the corner of her eye she saw a wad of money tightly encased in a grubby hand. She hadn't seen his face but she knew it was him. He was trying to sell, here on an open street. The girl approached him and her friends walked on by, leaving her to the dealer's mercy. They argued and the girl tugged on the wad of money in his hand as he backed away. Alex's vision was abruptly disrupted as she was jostled by another group of teenagers walking towards her. When she recovered she found that both the dealer and the girl were gone. She scanned the street; her heart beat picking up a pace as worry for the girl set in. She found them slipping down a side street which she thought would lead them towards the business district.

Alex hadn't scaled those roof-tops for nothing. She was determined that the dealer would look upon her from behind a set of iron bars before the night was out. She followed them, keeping a little distance so that she could judge the situation. The side street was badly lit, so Alex had to squint into the darkness but no sooner had she taken a step in, than the girl had come flying back out. She grabbed Alex's wrists tightly as her breathlessness became muffled sobs.

"What is it?" cried Alex, shaking her arms a little to release them a from the crushing sensation the girl's hand's created.

"He's … gun…he's got a gun!" she cried. She let go of Alex's wrists and turned to run back onto the main street but it was Alex's turn to make a grab. She pulled the girl back and held her tightly.

"Which way did he go?"

The girl looked at her blankly, tears streaming down her face unashamedly. "Up…" was all that she said before she shook out of Alex's grip and was gone into the waiting arms of her group of friends.

Without the aid of light Alex had to feel her way down the side street, which she was sure would lead her out towards the business district. She was trying to ignore the nagging feeling in the back of her mind that she was going the wrong way when she stumbled across a ladder jutting out of the wall.

"Up. Of course!" Alex mumbled sarcastically to herself. "What is it with this guy and roof-tops?"

Alex counted at least eight floors of the apartment block that she was currently scaling the side of, before she deliberately stopped counting for the sake of her sanity. When she eventually reached the top she had the dealer in sight. He was standing at the edge of the other side of the building. As Alex made her way towards him she guessed he that he must be judging the gap between their building and the next. The next apartment block was taller by one floor, which would make the jump all that more harder. He appeared not to know she was there, and for a second she contemplated trying to pull him away from the edge but he was just too close. There was every chance he could throw her over the side.

For the second time that night Alex looked above her as there was a sudden change in the light above her head, but as soon as it was there, it was gone again. Just a shadow perhaps? It couldn't be. There was no reasonable explanation why the lighting should change so suddenly up here away from the city. Alex refocused her attention on the dealer, who by now was safely standing on the next roof-top. He knew she was there now. He was staring at her, a vacant expression adorning his face. From a pocket he pulled the gun out and pointed it straight at her. She knew by the look in his eyes that he wasn't going to shoot, yet. This was just a warning. It was certainly a warning she could heed. She could hear sirens in the distance and was aware that the team would be hunting for her along these side streets and alleyways and all she had to do was retrace her steps back across the roof and climb back down the ladder. But if she followed her dealer, it looked like she was going to end the night with a bullet embedded in her skull. That was of course if she even managed to make that jump.

The sound of the sirens was growing ever closer, and all that she could hear as she walked the short distance to the edge was the pounding of her heart. The dealer was tall enough to make it, but would she? The pounding of her heart grew fiercer as she backed away a few yards and prepared to take the jump at a run. As her feet began to move the strangest thing happened. She almost thought she heard someone growl "No!" from behind her. Not daring herself to think she jumped. Catching hold of the edge of the ledge she could do nothing but hang there in mid-air as she tried to take in what she had just done. Breathing heavily, she forced her arms to pull her weight up and over the ledge. She rolled onto her back on top of the roof-top and lay there for what felt like hours. She tried to steady her breathing as she felt an anxiety attack creeping into her mind. Pushing herself up from the ground she caught sight of the dealer at the edge on the other side again. She could see that he looked worried even from behind. The gap on the other side was obviously too large. Watching him closely, she judged that he wasn't too close to the edge and so she marched right up to him and made a wild guess as to which pocket she should plunge her hand into. She was right. Before he'd had time to react she'd pulled the gun away and held it tightly in her grip.

The shadow had been following the dealer from uptown Gotham, and from nowhere he'd been confronted with someone who had done a far better job of tailing the dealer than he had himself. There didn't seem to be an ounce of sub-conscience that told her to stop when she was in danger. He couldn't fathom how she had managed to scale those roof-tops more efficiently than him and now she had all but got him in hand-cuffs and he hadn't lifted a finger. Part of him was disheartened that weeks of work had gone to waste; weeks of tailing a man and watching his every move after dark only to be thwarted by a woman. But somehow he felt an overwhelming feeling of gladness seeping into his soul. No other police officer would have risked their life like he had just witnessed her doing. He thought that perhaps even Commissioner Gordon himself would have admitted defeat when faced with the jump that she had nearly not accomplished. He had thought that he would have to help her and had rushed to her aid, only to find her hauling herself over the ledge. Perhaps Gotham Police Department wasn't as corrupt as the rumours said.

Losing all pretence, the dealer pounced on Alex. He wrapped his hands tightly around her throat, forgetting that she held the gun in her hand. For a few seconds she struggled with him, trying to put off the inevitable, but he was too large for her to fight back and win. There was that shadow again. It was rapidly growing in size behind the dealer, as if it were running towards them. Despite her suspicions, Alex didn't have the time to wait around so she lifted her arm as high as she could and struck him in the side of the head with the gun. By the time Alex had recovered the shape had disappeared completely. The blow hadn't even been enough to knock the dealer out, but he lay, looking up at the night sky disorientated as Alex crossed her arms over her chest and tapped her foot, waiting for back up to arrive.

"Spenser!"

"Oh what now?" cried Alex. It was all she had heard all morning. Everyone had been clamouring for information about what had happened the night before, but she'd had the sense only to tell Greaves about the shape she had seen. She ignored the voice calling her across the office and continued with her work, despite the added distraction of the day's copy of The Gotham Daily Express which currently lay face down on her desk. The first thing she had done that morning when she had reached her desk was to turn the newspaper over and search the room to see if she could tell who had put it there. She realised quickly that it had probably been Detective Sharp. She could imagine him as the kind of man who liked to make other people feel uncomfortable. Now, she gave in to temptation and turned the newspaper back over. Emblazoned across the front page was the headline 'A GIANT LEAP FOR COP-KIND' and underneath there was a very unclear picture of her in mid-jump between the roofs of two buildings. She supposed it wasn't as bad as she had thought. She could tell it was her in the picture but she doubted whether anyone else could. It was too far away to give away any defining features of her face. Her heart sank again as she began to read the article which was continued on page five.

Last night Sargent Alex Spenser of the Gotham Police Department took the term 'risk your life for your job' seriously, watched by many Gotham citizens as she took part in a drug sting that appeared to be going well, but had in fact gone very wrong. Despite this officer's sheer luck in managing to track down an armed man and arrest and detain him, questions have this morning been asked of police chiefs and commissioners as to their recent lack of methodical crime prevention. Sargent Spenser chased a known dealer through the streets of Downtown Gotham last night alone as the rest of her team waited for radio confirmation of the dealer's whereabouts in squad cars which were later reported to be five miles from the eventual scene of arrest. Although the officer in question has yet to make a statement regarding the arrest, the people of Gotham are already experiencing a feeling of assurance today. This officer who it is rumoured recently transferred from New York and is only twenty three years of age seems to have taken the bull by the horns when it comes to the notorious crime wave in our city. Although her actions must be applauded there has been some criticism from the Mayor who is reported to be angered by the apparent lack of awareness of public and personal safety shown by the new Sargent. It is also alleged that Sargent Spenser was forced to subdue the assailant after he attacked her. The Gotham Daily Express contacted James Gordon, police commissioner who declined to comment on last night's events or on the nature of Sargent Spencer's actions.

Alex couldn't bear to read any more. She closed the newspaper, rolled it up and threw it into the bin. She looked up again as someone bellowed her name across the office. Scanning the room she found Greaves motioning to her from the doorway. She got up and left her desk behind and followed him out into the corridor.

"Finished your statement yet?" he queried as he leaned casually against the wall.

"Haven't even started yet," Alex lied.

"Good." Greaves turned to look at her then. It was a stern searching look, as if he almost knew that she was lying. "Because the commissioner wants to see you in his office."

Alex stared at him open mouthed. "Gordon wants to see me? About what?"

"I'd guess it would be about last night." Alex placed a worried hand over her mouth as she recalled the newspaper report. Had she managed to get herself into trouble already? "You'd better go now 'cause he doesn't like being kept waiting Alex!"

Greaves left her in the corridor, hand still over her mouth. She needed a moment to take in what might be about to happen, a moment she didn't have. She took what felt like an eternity to climb the flight of stairs that took her to the fifth floor. Outside the commissioner's office she took a deep breath, not sure she wanted to know what waited for her on the other side of the door, but she didn't give herself enough time to ponder. She knocked curtly and entered.

The first thing Alex noticed about the office was the amount of paperwork it contained. There was pile upon pile of files and folders across the floor, and the walls were lined with filing cabinets that Alex knew were full to the brim of even more paperwork. Then she turned her attention to the office's only occupant. James Gordon was sat behind a desk piled high with paperwork. He looked somewhat older than his forty years, with dark circles under his eyes and tired wrinkled skin that she knew was due to the thirty-something years he had spent as an employee of Gotham Police Department. It was the warm blue eyes behind black square glasses and the still flame red hair although flecked with a little grey that held the true age of the police commissioner. In the middle of his desk was a large picture frame containing a photo of Gordon and his family. Alex was swiftly reminded of a photo much like the one in front of her that was of her own family. Gordon was stood much like her father had been, in the middle with his arms around his two children on one side and his wife on the other. The whole family looked happy. She guessed the photo had been taken a few years ago judging by how much Gordon had aged. Alex knew things might not now be how they looked in the photo. Where they still as happy as they seemed? She knew from her own personal experience that the happiness captured so readily in such a photo might begin to dwindle from the very next day.

Gordon motioned for her to take the vacant seat opposite his desk and she did, suddenly reassured by the warm smile that greeted her. As she sat she watched as Gordon pushed his chair away from his desk slightly and leaned back. He pushed the paperwork he had been working to the side and put down his pen.

"Sargent I'd like to know if you've finished your statement concerning last night yet." Alex raised her eyebrows at his abrupt statement. This wasn't the start to the conversation that she had expected.

"I haven't even started." Yet again she was lying, but unlike Greaves, Gordon didn't seem to care whether she was lying or not. He leaned forward then, rested his elbows on his desk and crossed his arms.

"Lieutenant Greaves told me that you saw the bat last night." It wasn't a question, but another statement.

Alex thought carefully before she answered. She thought she could see the direction that this conversation was going in now. "Well I didn't say that I saw him exactly, I said I saw a black shape; a shadow."

"Well," Gordon rubbed his chin, deep in thought. "Whatever it was that you say you saw, I'm going to need you to keep it out of your statement. I trust you saw the newspaper I left on your desk this morning. I think you're going to be receiving enough press attention without adding the bat into the mixture."

So it hadn't been detective Sharp trying to make her feel uncomfortable with the newspaper, but Alex still felt that she didn't quite get why Gordon had left the newspaper for her. "I still don't under-"

"Spenser this city is dangerous at the best of times." He interrupted her with a stern voice, one that she had not been expecting. He stared at her for a few seconds before he continued. "You're good at your job, very good in fact. But with all that there comes risk. The newspaper got it right. What you perceive to be the right thing to do may be so at the time, but the aftermath is where we're going to come across problems. There are stories written every week about rumours of corruption within this department so it does lighten the load for us all when a story like this surfaces but it's going to cause problems for you eventually. You see, there are a lot of people within this city who don't want people like you and me in any sort of position where we can make change because we are prepared to take risks to get results. You've served in the most crime infested city for most of your time on the job, and you've been trained well. I know that you had the best education concerning law enforcement in New York, but all of that will amount to nothing if you aren't careful. You've undergone a lot of change during your time working for the police but this city remains the same as it always has done. If we are to bring about change we need to create a solid, reliable, dependable and unwavering force to be reckoned with. We need to re-affirm the public's belief in our ability to protect them. That is not going to happen if you get yourself killed."

Alex didn't quite know what to say. She didn't really think that she had changed that much, but perhaps from the eyes of an outsider; she had. She knew that Gordon was right about change, but she hadn't realised before just how detrimental she would be in the grand scheme of things. Wasn't doing her job right and taking the risks to get results what would eventually bring about change? "I'm not sure I see your point sir. I know how important change is for this city, and I understand that it isn't going to happen overnight but I'm trying my best to do what's right. Isn't that enough?"

Gordon sighed. He looked confused, constrained even. "Alex you're just a kid. I have a daughter myself. She's a few years younger than you, mind; but I wouldn't let her police these streets for all the money in the world. I understand that this job is something that you need. You're here for the right reasons. You aren't willing to keep your head down and lie to yourself by pretending that the problem will go away if it is simply ignored. What I said might have sounded a little tactless but what I am trying to say is that you cannot possibly think that the change that this city so desperately needs is worth dying for. You are worth so much more when you are living and breathing. I want you to seriously consider what good can really come from you ending up on a mortuary slab. What change can you bring about from there. That picture in the paper this morning; that was reckless. I don't know what your mind-set is or what in God's name drove you to make that jump but you need to channel it, use it to better this city, not scare yourself witless by jumping between the roof-tops of sky scrapers; or even worse, to kill yourself. When I saw that photo I knew it wouldn't be some drug dealer or murder or nut job that finally gets you. You are your own worst enemy." Alex was stunned. She told herself she didn't understand, but she really did. Gordon believed in the cause but didn't think there was any foundation in sacrifices for the greater good. He turned then to his clock and smiled. "Ah, lunchtime; any plans Sargent?"

"I'm meeting a friend." Alex smiled back at him as she realised that James Gordon's children were very lucky to have a father like him. She'd have given anything for her own father to have shown a fraction of the enthusiasm that Gordon had shown in the last ten minutes. Her father was unaccustomed to making change. He waited until he had no choice but to follow it, but Alex intended to be the one that brought that change about.

"Off you go then." When Alex reached the door and her hand was on the door handle he spoke again. "Remember Alex, the bat stays out of the statement."

"…And did you know that your picture was on the news channel this morning?"

"Yes Haley I did." Alex covered her eyes with her hand and tilted her head back; letting the last few rays of the midday sun wash over her. She was sincerely starting to regret agreeing to have lunch with Haley. "Has Jenny called you?" she asked her pretty friend as her phone beeped to notify her that she had a new voicemail message to add to the seventeen missed calls.

"Yes. Why won't you just talk to her? She's going out of her mind with worry you know. She just wants to know that you're okay." Haley was pushing the last few crumbs of a Caesar Salad around her plate with a melancholy look gracing her face. "I think that she's worried about how you are up there too," Haley whispered dramatically as she pointed with one finger to her temple.

"For God's sake!" several of the other dinners turned to stare as Alex smacked her hand on the table. "I'm not bipolar, depressed, anxious, insane or schizophrenic. I was doing my job."

"I know. I know your fine but you haven't spoken to her in a while. She thinks your cutting yourself off from everyone." Haley looked like she was unsure of what to say or do next, but her attention quickly turned to Alex's phone which began to ring.

"I'm not cutting myself off either. I've just been spending all of my time with you!" Alex lifted her phone and was ready to cut the call when the caller ID surprised her. "What does he want?"

Alex considered cutting the call again but Haley wined "Answer it!"

"HAVE YOU GOT SOME SORT OF DEATH WISH?" Alex held the phone away from her ear and sighed. She'd had so many people lecture her already that she felt like a college student.

"Well hello Alex how's your day going? Oh it's going great, thanks for asking. How's your day going Bruce?" Alex almost chuckled as she thought of her sarcasm hitting him right in his dead pan face.

"Don't patronise me! What are you playing at; jumping between buildings and chasing armed men across roof-tops?" Alex's smile dropped. She thought her sarcasm might have lightened his mood but it had only worsened it.

Alex grimaced and wined "Jeez what are you, my mother? And by the way, you're the one that's patronising me!"

"Alex I'm not your mother and that's precisely why I called. I have ten of the city newspapers on my desk in front of me right now and you're on the front page of nine of them!"

"Only the nine?" Alex had thought he'd have given up by now. They were only friends, acquaintances really and he thought he had the right to speak to her as if she was a child.

"Alex, listen-"

"No you listen. All I did last night was do my job. You have no right whatsoever to dictate to me about anything. I mean what have you done since you got into work today? Scanned ten newspapers and then called me and it's only, what; after lunch! Then when this conversation is over you'll have a nice nap until five thirty and then you'll be ready to party again play boy so don't you dare have a go at me!" Alex lifted the piece of paper Haley was currently writing on and crumpled it in her hand to make a crackling noise.

"Alex-"

"Sorry Bruce I can't hear you! You're breaking up! Tell you what, I'll call you later!" she ended the call and turned to face Haley again who was howling with laughter. "So where were we?"