One fine morning in Hillwood, Arnold sat on his bed, examining a large, off-white envelope covered in blue ink and stamps. Then, looking at his clock, Arnold jammed on his little shoes without bothering to untie the laces, tossed the party invitation onto his desk, then picked up his schoolbooks from beside where it landed. It was time to hustle out the door to make the schoolbus.
At P.S. 118, Rhonda Lloyd was preparing for Lorenzo's party by lecturing Nadine with a page clipped from a fashion magazine. Lila was by her locker showing Park a dress she had sewn by herself. At lunchtime, Arnold passed by Phoebe and Helga and sat down at the lunch table across from Gerald. The two boys did a friendship thumb shake in greeting. Today, it seemed most everyone at P.S.118 was in high spirits. But it was not so with Patty Smith. She listened to Phoebe and Helga boasting from a nearby table, frowning deeply.
"I decided to go with a blue bikini," said Phoebe loud enough for Patty to overhear. "My favorite color. It will complement my hair, admirably. Of course, I found some white sandals with beads like pearls to go along with it to give the outfit a sort of refinement."
"Uh-uh," said Helga slouched over with a certain crudeness as usual. "I got what's boss! The new Nancy Spumoni Athletic Swimsuit Model! It comes with a belt loop on one side and a free pin for jabbing into the eyes of sharks! Oh, don't worry, Phoebes, I won't bring that with me! The only accessory I need are some shades."
"Right," said Phoebe nibbling a crumb off her sandwich. "We could shop for some at my optometrist's office."
Soon, Patty was joined at her lonely table by Harold. The large boy grinned and Patty forced herself to smile back. "What's the matter, Patty?" asked Harold. "Do you have a tummy ache or somethin''?"
"No." Patty said simply. "Harold, suppose if I didn't have a swimsuit? Would you like me to come to the party with you then?"
"Well, yeah, I guess that's fine," said Harold flicking an olive from the top of his lunch's chilled egg-salad. "It's just too bad, I guess. You could really have fun! I've heard that Lorenzo's pool is really huge! And there's a waterslide!"
"Yeah?" said Patty, frowning at herself and the fib she had just told.
The school day passed swiftly, and Helga made her way home to the blue house she shared with her parents and older sister Olga. These days, Olga waited for Helga like a pet dog. When Helga eased open the front door and tried to dart inside without being noticed, Olga was already there to intercept her in the front hall.
"Hello, sweetie!" Olga cooed, batting her eyelids rapidly in delight. "Why don't you come into the kitchen and try some of the peanut-butter pecan rolls I just baked? They're positively scrumptious!" Olga put on large oven mitts to open the oven door. She pulled out a large baking sheet full of steaming, hot rolls.
"Meh. Alright," said Helga who become somewhat accustomed to the new norm of Olga having moved back into the household. She'd been there for the last few months trying extra hard to make sure Helga spent no time alone with boys like Arnold. Stone-eyed, Helga waited for Olga to pour out a cup of milk and set a single hot roll on a plate in front of her.
"Say, Olga?" said Helga hesitantly. "Now I don't want you to freak out or anything, but I have a birthday party to go to tomorrow so I won't be around."
"Oh my!" said Olga dunking fancy tea bag in a cup of water for herself. "Whose birthday is it?"
"A kid in my class named Lorenzo."
"Oh. So I take it you're especially good friends?" said Olga posturing with her cup of tea held high up in the air by one pinkie.
"Not really. He's just invited all of us. Is my swimsuit done in the wash? I'll need it."
"A swim suit? Whatever, for, silly?"
"There's going to be a pool at the party," said Helga.
"Oh my!" said Olga slapping a hand to the side of her head. "And you said that all of your class will be going? Including Arnold?!"
"Yeah," said Helga softly. "Now wait a minute!" she protested rapidly. "You aren't getting paranoid about Arnold being there, are you?! Criminy!"
"A pool party sounds scandalous, Helga!" said Olga sniffing as she dunked her sweet roll in her tea. "As a matter of fact, I do think it's a fantastic idea for me to come along as a chaperone."
"Olga," said Helga narrowing her eyes. "I'm eleven years old. I'm not planning on eloping to Europe or something. At least not till I'm in say, oh highschool or something?"
"You're what?!" Olga screeched. Helga covered her ears with her hands.
"I'm kidding, Olga! It's just a joke! Sheesh. You need to come down to reality a bit more often. And maybe stop drinking so much coffee."
"Oh, Helga you're such a silly!" said Olga. "But really, Helga! I worry for you, baby sister! And I adore birthday parties so much!" said Olga batting her eyes and looking adorable like a puppy pleading for scraps. Helga lifted her eyes up to the sky and let out a heavy sigh.
"Oh, all right! The invitation does say that I can bring one guest along."
"Oh goodie!" said Olga grinning. "Now be a good girl and put your plate in the sink when you're done."
"Yes, Olga," Helga said her whiny, sarcastic, mocking voice. But before she trotted out of kitchen she paused to drop her cup, plate, and fork off in the kitchen sink. "Yeesh!" said Helga before stamping away, free to spend time in her room at last.
The day of the big party arrived. Kids from Arnold's class lined up outside Lorenzo's front gate. Arnold and Gerald paused in the line, three kids back from Sid. The boy with the backwards facing green ballcap pressed a button on the gate and there was a ringing like a doorbell. A burly man with shades a clipboard opened the gate and held out a hand towards Sid.
"Invitation?" said the man. He took the paper Sid handed over and read it, then scratched a name of the list. "You may enter," said the bouncer. "Next?" Smiling proudly, Sid stuck his thumbs under his dress-shirt collar and strolled inside. The line moved up to Arnold.
"Wow, Arnold!" commented Gerald when the two boys had handed over their invitations and scooted inside. "This party is exclusive! Maybe we should have brought someone with us."
"Nah," said Arnold calmly, letting his arms lay loose at his sides as he walked. "You know Phoebe and Helga will be expecting us to hang out with them for a while."
"Speaking of those two," said Gerald lifting his shades. "Here they come!" Coming along the flower-lined garden path was Phoebe and Helga wearing summer dresses. But they weren't alone. Arnold grimaced when he saw Olga a few steps behind them. Both Olga and Helga wore white, matching floppy garden hats.
"Hey there, Arnoldo!" Helga told Arnold's shocked and horrified face. "I'm sorry about this, but Olga's here as my 'guest'," the girl explained making air quotes.
"I hope you guys don't mind," Olga said leaning over and smiling enchantingly.
Arnold did mind. A lot. Over the past few months Olga had done everything she could to keep him from interacting with Helga. Gerald and Arnold looked at each other, sharing a disgusted look. Then Gerald put his shades back on, lifted a fist to his mouth, and coughed to clear his throat.
"Ahem, yeah, yeah! That's cool!" said the boy smiling the saucy, attractive smile that Phoebe fawned over. Phoebe tucked her arm into Gerald's and Gerald clicked a pointer finger out towards Arnold. "Well, if y'all need us, I'll be spreading suntan lotion onto Phoebe by the pool." Left behind, Arnold gave a pissed off look. But there was little he could do about it.
"Well," said Olga grasping Helga around her shoulders in a brief, snug, uncomfortable squish. "Let's go say hello to your host! We don't want to be rude, now do we?"
"Nah, of course not!" said Helga being sarcastic again before she was dragged off speedily. Arnold headed off in the same direction at a slower pace. He arrived at the pool to see Helga and Olga departing from Lorenzo for a cloth changing tent that had been set up near an ornate pool, complete with waterslide as Harold had predicted. Arnold glanced across a whole fleet of pool floaty animals and water tires drifting at the pool's shallower end. Sid and Stinky were busy diving off a tall diving board at the pool's far side.
"Hello, Lorenzo," said Arnold, his arms tucked mildly behind him. "How's the party going?"
"Well, okay so far!" said Lorenzo. "Most of the guests showed up, except for Eugene who had to go to an emergency dental appointment for a busted tooth. He bit a jawbreaker or something. But everything is going alright otherwise. The caterers have got plenty of food and the musicians are setting up for a concert during luncheon." Arnold watched Lorenzo fuss over the party details with weary eyes.
"Did you get any presents so far?" asked Arnold, cutting to the topic that bothered Lorenzo most.
"Yeah. The butler collected quite a few. But I don't know. Arnold. Do you think the other kids really like me, or did they just get me a gift because I invited them to my party?"
"Well, I won't lie to you Lorenzo," said Arnold in all seriousness. "It's probably both. I got you a present!" said Arnold removing a small package wrapped in decorative paper from his coat. He handed it to Lorenzo with a smile. "I don't know whether you'll like it or not, but I have one of those. It's one of my favorite things so I thought maybe you'd like it, too."
"Thanks Arnold," said Lorenzo twisting the small paper package in his hands without opening it. "This means a lot. I'll open it with my other gifts."
"Sure," said Arnold still smiling. His smile fell when he saw Helga march angrily out of the pool's changing tent.
"What the heck is this Olga?!" said Helga gesturing down at the unattractive black bathing suit she was wearing. "This isn't my Nancy Spumoni Signature Lightning Sports Swimsuit! What did you do with it?" Helga gave her sister a death glare. Olga laughed nervously.
"What are you talking about, sweetie? You asked me to pack your bathing suit for you and I did."
"Unbelievable!" said Helga rolling her eyes. "Well, this thing is atrocious like a black-eye on Wally the Alligator after a night out clubbing. Definitely an embarrassment. But hey, I'm going swimming anyway," said Helga picking up a clean towel from a stack and heading towards the pool. She flopped down onto one of the deckchairs.
"Oh, yeah!" said Olga. "I remember that. Well, I'm going to get changed next," said Olga. "So you wait right there for me, alright?" Helga watched her sister walk back to the changing tent with dull, bored eyes. Arnold moved in next to her as soon as Olga was out of sight.
"Hello, Helga," said Arnold still wearing his coat and dress shoes. "How's it going?"
"Terrible!" Helga complained loudly. "Olga is driving me nuts!"
"So why'd you bring her?" Helga lowered her shades.
"Are you.. pouting Arnoldo?" said Helga with a sly smile.
"Nah, of course not!" said the boy trying to cover up his mistake. But Helga smiled even broader, then leaned her head back against her arms to lounge.
"Anything you say, Arnoldo! But if you don't get changed, you'll miss out on the fun."
"Yeah," said Arnold as calmly as he could as Helga reveled in the sunshine before him. Soon, Olga came out of the changing tent to find Arnold standing almost over Helga, admiring her with a sideways glance. She grasped hold of Arnold's arm immediately and forced him three steps away.
"Oh, come here, little friend of Helga's!" Olga chirped merrily. "You've just got to see the ice sculpture and the little decorations they've put up for the buffet table! The job they've done, it's absolutely fantastic! See?" said Olga pointing. Arnold humored Olga by staring ahead.
"Great," he said without nearly the same enthusiasm as she. "I'll just go get a couple of glasses of punch." Arnold carefully poured a few spoonfuls out, then walked back towards Helga. As Arnold stretched out his wrist to offer Helga his second cup, Olga snatched the thing instead. Olga downed the drink in one big gulp.
"Why thanks!" said Olga resting her fingertips against her chest as she looked at Arnold sideways. "I was getting oh, so parched! Now, What are we waiting for, sweetie!" said Olga clasping hold of Helga's hand and tugging her younger sister to her feet. "Let's go swimming!" Left by the poolside, Arnold narrowed his eyes at Olga as she swam to the far side of Lorenzo's pool with Helga. Olga was being obnoxiously interfering again. But what could he do about it?
Next time! More Harold and Patty, Olga drives everyone crazy, and Lorenzo opens his presents at last! Yeah! Will Patty wear her swimsuit? Will Arnold find a way to spend some of the party with Helga? Will Gerald and Phoebe just stop flirting openly with each other all over Lorenzo's party? Yuck. Find out in chapter four!