Author's Note: Hope you've been enjoying it so far, this chapter's going to be kind of short, mainly because it was kind of hard for me to write...it really hit home with me, anyway I'm promising something HUGE really soon so keep reading and reviewing. Oh and if you guys didn't pick up on it the titles of my chapter's are based on some of songs. Can you guess which ones they are?

Disclaimer: Je ne possède pas n'importe quel des caractères dans cette histoire. (okay so I speak 3 languages)


A Cold and Broken Hallelujah

Booth slipped out of Brennan's apartment the moment that she fell into a deep enough of a sleep that he could leave unheard. He made his way out to the his car hurriedly getting in, Booth refused, utterly refused to look into the backseat, to even glance into the rear view mirror. He knew without looking what he would find there and what it would do to him.

Booth realized then with a gut wrenching start that thinking about not thinking about doing something brought the thought to the front of his mind. Booth couldn't help it, he glanced into the rear view mirror his heart shuddering in his chest as he saw Parker's empty car seat. Booth's thought flashed back to the last time Parker had actually been sitting in the car seat.

"Daddy, Daddy look!" Parker said happily kicking his legs against the seat.

Booth grinned following Parker's pointing finger to the storefront of a toy store, a red boy's bike was displayed in the center and had caught Parker's attention.

Booth grinned at the eager look on his son's face then pulled over parking quickly. Booth lifted Parker out of the car then carried him into the toy store, Parker was fairly shivering with excitement as Booth set him down next to the bicycle. "Look Daddy Look!" Parker yelled happily, he ran his finger over the design of red and orange flames along the bike.

Booth shuddered then, tearing his mind away from the memory as an entirely different image of flames flooded his mind. This image set him to sobbing again, it was one of flames shooting out of Rebecca's car. Booth felt utterly helpless then, remembering how lost he'd felt as he watched the car burn, tears rolled down Booth's cheeks as realization hit him like a Mack Truck.

Never again would he hear his son's laugh, never again would he see his smile, never again would he be able to hug him, kiss him, tuck him into his own racecar bed every night, and wake up with Parker tightly curled in his arms. "Never again, never again," Booth moaned out, he pounded the steering wheel angrily causing the rosary on his dashboard to fall into his lap. Booth frowned another memory flowing into his mind.

"Daddy how comes you never wear your pretty necklace?" Parker asked very much the curious four year old. Booth smiled taking Parker onto his knee placing the worn beads gently into Parker's tiny hands. "This was your grandmother's, you're grandma would be up every morning and every night doing the rosary, I'd fall asleep to her praying and wake up to the same sound."

Booth smiled then took Parker's hands showing him the pattern of the beads, Booth's fingers slid over the worn beads as he explained how to pray the rosary. Parker frowned up at his father his tiny face confused, "Daddy why you gotta say it so much?" Booth smiled, remembering how he had asked his mother that exact same question when he was Parker's age. Booth gave Parker the same answer his mother had given him all those years ago, "Because honey, it reminds God that we love him and that it helps us remember that he loves us and will always keep us safe."

Booth squeezed the beads in his hand so hard that they bit into his skin, he scoffed at his words then staring down at the soft brown beads in his palm, "Some protection you give!" Booth felt suddenly angry then. "You took my son!" Booth was yelling now, he stumbled out of the car, a river of tears blurring his vision as he walked slowly down the sidewalk. He'd walked down this very street with Parker, he and Bones had taken him to the park. Booth remembered how loudly Parker had laughed when Bones and his father had swung him by his hands between them. Booth's heart sunk as he remembered how happy they'd been and he realized that he's never be that happy again.

Booth's feet stopped of their own accord in front of a stone park bench. Booth stared down at it ignoring the sound of thunder and the flashes of lightening around him, Parker had sat in this very spot, dripping ice cream down his elbow as he chattered happily about his first ride on his bike. It was almost as if Booth could hear Parker's excited voice as he'd said happily, "I stayed up the whole time Daddy!" Parker's eyes had lit up as his father beamed proudly down at him.

Booth stifled a sob then stared down at his hand trying to find the source of the sudden biting pain in his palm. The fingers of his clenched fist opened slowly to reveal his mother's rosary the worn beads were now crushed in his hand, and the source of his physical pain, the shards had cut into his skin drawing blood. The blood seemed to pool in the center of Booth's upturned hand then as Booth stared silently the blood mixed with with the beads so that the soft brown was now streaked with red. Booth felt sudden anger bubbling in his chest again, until he could barely breathe, he was suddenly overwhelmed by how unfair this whole thing was, "What kind of god takes away a man's world?"

Booth glared down at his bleeding palm, his salty tears fell into the wound causing it to sting unbearably, "Oh so you're gonna kick me when I'm down huh?" he was yelling up at the sky now his face streaked with tears. Booth swung his bleeding hand back then forward watching as the rosary flew in an arc through the air then into a pond across the park.

"What kind of god would take my little boy away?" Booth gasped out falling to his knees. He buried his face in his palms ignoring the steady pound of raindrops on his back. "What kind of god takes away a father's joy?" Booth stayed where he was oblivious to the storm around him, he was so focused on the storm raging inside of him that he didn't hear his name being called, being yelled frantically.

Please Review!!! I'm open to comments questions suggestions anything!!!

:)Sayra