Catching Up – Chapter 3

Kurai-Hisaki

For everyone who encouraged & gave me feedback, edited for me – especially Namake.

Thank You Very Much! - どもありがとございます！

I should have known that today was New Years… Why else would shishou give me a break?

With a sigh, Sakura tilted her head backwards to look at the silver crescent moon that hung in the sky. There were no stars tonight. Slowly, she walked down the empty streets of Konoha, with her eyes closed and her head tilted towards the sky.

To the eyes of a civilian, Sakura looked like a lost spirit. Her black dress swayed in the wind, while her pale skin and light pink hair looked a couple tints lighter in the moonlight. She dangled her tiny black purse on her right index finger, as she continued to walk down the silent street.

Everyone was indoors, celebrating with their families, friends or other loved ones during the start of the New Years. There was a reason that Sakura wanted to stay home this morning, but she just couldn't refuse Naruto's offer on breakfast, especially since she hasn't seen Kakashi in a while. She had wanted to be alone, but she never got the chance to be. Ino had been dressing her the whole afternoon and evening.

Breathing deeply, she enjoyed the cool breeze in her hair and on her face.

It's been a year…

She walked down the dusty path to the place she knew all too well. Stopping at the bridge where Team Seven always used to meet, she lowered her head down to see her reflection in the water looking back at her. Leaning on the wooden railings, she rested her elbows on it and for a couple minutes, she just stood there observing her reflection.

Dad's bright emerald eyes… Mom's roseate coloured hair…

She couldn't say that she loved her life when she was in Team Seven. Sakura knew that her team considered her weak and useless. She was emotional, boy crazy, and the only thing good about her was chakra control, but back then she couldn't really apply it to any Ninjutsu or Genjutsu anyway. She didn't even bother with Taijutsu back then. Taijutsu involved her getting up close and personal to the enemy, and it wasn't something she liked to do. Of course, there was the latter matter where she would end up getting too sweaty in front of Sasuke, bruise her knuckles or worse, break a nail. She scoffed at herself for even thinking those thoughts when she was younger.

The young woman took off her two inch heels, stretched her feet and toes; and in the meantime hooking the straps of the heels to her right wrist, letting the shoes dangle there. Really, there was no need for her to do that; her feet didn't hurt as much as when she first wore heels. Maybe it was to prove to her that she didn't mind the dirt as much as she use to. She had grown up; physically, emotionally and mentally.

To think I was scared of breaking a nail and getting sweaty.

Sakura mentally rolled her eyes at herself.

I've practically slept in mud now, and have had over five dozens of injuries: both major and minor injuries, including broken bones.

Obviously, when the appropriate time comes, she would treat herself.

Always friends and comrades before self though…

When she started training under Tsunade, she felt that her life had taken for a better turn. She had learned to stop putting her selfish emotions in every situation, and she learned to put others first.

Being a medic can do that though… when someone is dying in front of your eyes you tend to treat them without being asked twice or even thinking about it.

If the situation was in her power to control, she would take control. She considered herself to be stronger than the previous twelve year old self that she once knew.

Sure she didn't have a boyfriend, then and now. But when Sasuke returned, she didn't feel the need to have one anymore; or even to date for that matter. Both she and Naruto were good friends with the Uchiha, before, now and probably forever. It didn't matter if he left or not, they would always be here for him, but she didn't feel the attraction that she once did when she was twelve years old.

She felt like she had everything going for her during that time. She was satisfied with her two best friends, and with all the achievements she had gained while working in the hospital.

As a kunoichi and a medic of Konoha, it was rare that all of her friends that she grew up with were still alive and well. Some of them had a few mishaps during their missions, but it was nothing Sakura couldn't heal. A handful of her friends had ended up in near death situations before, and Sakura would give her all to heal them; take care of them until they regained their health. Healing others was like her second nature now.

Thinking about all the people that were still physically with her, the pink haired woman turned to her thoughts again; this time, to the people who she couldn't physically be attached to anymore.

If you have never experienced sadness, then you would never know happiness…

She had repeated that phrase over and over again to herself in her head; more than usual over the past year.

She sighed once again, and kicked a little pebble by her feet down to the river she was previously staring at. She turned away as her reflection rippled and her feet automatically carried her down the moonlit dusty path again.

This time she didn't stop until the tips of her toes met with a slab of stone.

She walked to the bottom-right corner of the stone, which was mounted on the ground, and knelt on the soft grass beneath her.

She whispered, "Otousan… Okaasan…"

Why couldn't she have been more selfish back then?

There were rare moments in her life where she felt total selflessness; and that was one of them.

It was her parent's 20th anniversary, and they were going out of the village to celebrate. They had announced it to her before she found out that there was an award ceremony held for the medics. She had been recognized as one of the best medics in Konoha.

Her hard work and dedication had brought her to the top.

It had been one of the happiest moments of my life.

Having parents that were still together now-a-days were rare; she felt blessed to be a part of the loving and supporting family that she had. She felt like celebrating all over again. She wanted to tell them that she loved them for everything they did, and how glad she was to have them.

She promised herself she would do so when her parents came back.

Waiting for them to come back had been one of the longest waits…

The crisp breeze played with her hair. The moonlight reflected off the stone, and highlighted the engravings that were on it.

Once again she whispered, "It's been a year…"

Keeping the ceremony to herself, she had wished her parents a happy trip, and to have fun.

I should have been selfish… I should have told them about the ceremony. I should have made them stay here… for me.

Tracing the names of her father and mother with her fingertips, she felt a stab at her heart and a sob threatening to come up to her lips. She refused to let it out.

Now she would never get the chance to tell her parents about the award, and never hear and see how proud of her they would have been. They would never spend another New Years together. She never had told them that she loved them, and how glad she was that they had been a part of her life.

Perhaps they could feel her love now, wherever they were.

It hadn't been a Happy New Year for Sakura, and she couldn't bring herself to say "Happy New Years" to her parents. Was she bitter? No. But she certainly wasn't happy.

Why hadn't she said anything when she had the chance to?

Because you wanted them to be happy, to not feel regret to leave a loved one behind.

Thus the reason why Sakura tried so hard to find happiness. She knew that her parents would have wanted her to be happy. Thus the reason why Sakura didn't tell anyone about this. It was easier this way when no one asked her if she was alright. No one pitied her. No one treated her any differently from anyone else.

Sakura had told Tsunade, but had also told her to keep it a secret. The Godaime respected her wishes, and had offered her a few days off to adjust emotionally, as well as mentally. She had said that she could help Sakura by telling people that she was on a solo mission, but Sakura didn't want to take a break. She wanted to live a normal everyday life. When Tsunade found out Sakura's point of view on this matter and how serious she was about it, she didn't treat Sakura any differently after that conversation. Sakura assured her that she was fine, and gave her the brightest smile she could muster. Whether the blonde believed it or not, Sakura would never know. They never talked about the matter again.

Even Naruto didn't know about it. She didn't want him worrying, and he didn't find out. She didn't want just anyone to find out about what happened; she promised herself that she would let someone know when they found out themselves. She also knew that if Naruto knew, he would ask about her everyday, and the matter would eventually spread throughout the village.

In the end, no one had found out about her parents. If anyone had carelessly asked her about it, she'd say that they were on vacation celebrating their 20th anniversary.

She hadn't cried when Tsunade ordered someone to engrave the names of her parents on the stone. Besides looking for their own loved ones, no one ever bothered to read the rest of the memorial, therefore no one knew about her situation. The world was still turning. The citizens of Konoha continued to live on. Dawn came every morning, and Dusk came every night.

It didn't feel real.

She hadn't shed a single tear.

The last year had been busy for Sakura. She busied herself with work, sometimes not intentionally, but work kept her away from her thoughts. When there were holidays you were meant to spend with your loved ones, she would hide in her apartment, studying scrolls and brushing up on old skills. When there wasn't a holiday, she would bury herself with work at the hospital.

She hugged herself as a chill took over her body, and she shivered.

As expected, having nothing to keep her busy with, her thoughts took over. Seeing how she couldn't be in the hospital, she wanted to stay home to do what she always did when she was at home. All because of Naruto, her routine and daily life for the past year had been disrupted.

For the first time in a year, she came to the place where she felt like she could visit her parents. She finally stared at reality – face to face.

Reality hit her; and she accepted it.

They're never coming back.

Something had changed today.

Escaping into denial was easy, dealing with reality was not. When a harsh reality slapped you in the face, accepting it was probably the hardest thing anyone could do.

Sakura put her head down and let the lush grass caress her face. Keeping her eyes in the direction of the engraved stone, she blinked slowly.

She suddenly felt very tired – more than she had ever been in an entire year.

At times like these, she wished she had someone to share her burdens with; someone to listen to her without over-analyzing her situation and asking questions; someone to just hold and warm her when she was cold; someone to spend her holidays with; someone to be there when she was alone.

Someone to understand and to love me, for who I am.

As a medic, she knew that with the way she had been acting the past year, she wasn't healthy – emotionally or mentally, and this affected her physically. How had everyone failed to notice that she lost more weight than she had ever lost in her life combined, in just a year? It just showed her how little people cared.

Wasn't there anyone who cared? Who could see that something was really wrong with her?

No one could.

Time felt like it had stopped for her; her world had stopped a year ago.

Feeling the coolness on the side of her head and her face, fatigue overwhelmed Sakura. She slid her eyelids together and slipped into darkness, letting her thoughts and her mind take over freely.

Dealing with it alone had been what Sakura wanted at the time.

Now she wasn't so sure anymore.