Hey Y'all! It's Abby! So here is Patricia's response to Amber's suicide! I hope you enjoy it!
Dear Amber,
Hey. It's Patricia. So, how are you? Stupid question, I know. I don't exactly know what I'm supposed to write about. I just really need to talk to you. I don't know what to say, but if you got to say your part, then I get to say mine.
I remember when I first met you. You moved to Anubis when you were 13, 2 years after me. It was a cold October day and you showed up in tears with 6 big pink trunks and a big fuchsia bow in you curled hair. Your parents kissed you goodbye and drove off in their limo. While we introduced ourselves you smiled a bit and waved at each of us in turn. We weren't friends. When Nina came all those years later we found something to bond over. At first it was our mutual hate of her, but it later became our mutual liking and later friendship with her. Even when the mystery was over and joy was back, we remained closer than before.
I never liked you before because I always saw you as that pink clad Barbie dollesque daddy's girl I first met. But I didn't give you enough credit. You are so much more than that 13 year old girl. You changed so much. You changed my view of you and in the end you changed me. You made me realize people aren't what you think. They shape themselves and adapt when they are put in different circumstances, you have to give them room to do that shaping though before you decide whether or not to like them. You showed me that even the most opposite of people can become friends with just one shared quality, even if that quality is their hate of someone. We didn't get off to a great start but in the end we pulled through stronger than ever.
So then, after all of the changing and experiences we've been through with each other through the years, you can't imagine the shock I felt when we found your note. Why would you do that amber? You were so loved amber, so loved. I cried unfathomable amounts that day. Jerome was even in tears. We couldn't believe you amber. We thought it was some joke you and Alfie we're pulling on us until we told Alfie and he was on the ground crying. I felt so horrible. And I felt so responsible. All the comments, all the names, all the nasty things I had said to you throughout the years, could you see they were just jokes. Just jokes, not meant to be taken seriously. Could you see that amber? They were just jokes and nothing more. Yet you took them so very seriously. I haven't insulted one person since then, not one. I don't want to ever cause that again, and more importantly I don't want to cause this feeling I have every time I look at Alfie, or Nina, or Fabian and see them in such pain, every time I look over at your chair at the table during a meal and see it empty, the guilt and pain I feel every time I see your side of the room in Nina's room without your pink bed or jewelry, to anyone else. I don't want someone to go and do what you did to stop the pain I cause and cause their friends to feel the way I do. I miss you amber.
I hope you are happy now. I hope nothing ever causes you the pain I set upon you again. I hope you are smiling and laughing. I hope you are surrounded by shoes and make up and clothes and pink. I hope you are not in any pain and you are happy up with god. I will remember you amber. Thank you for everything you have ever taught me. I will keep the memories with me forever.
Yours truly,
Patricia.