A couple minutes later the cops showed up searching the house and interrogating the Dean. The next morning the Chanels, Pledges and I were carving out pumpkins in the kitchen as Zayday walked in "What's wrong with you girl?" she asked Grace who looked distracted but I blocked out their conversation until Grace asked us a question "Also I'm sorry is anyone weirded out that we're doing this in the same room that got her face burnt off in? I mean she literally died right there." she pointed to a spot on the floor while walking to Zayday. "Um this just in, 's not dead. She's haunting the campus with her fatness and murdering people." Chanel told us as she walked in the stood at the head of the counter with a pumpkin in her hands "Now, show me your pumpkins sows. We need to FedEx them to my Instagram followers right away for Chanel-O-Ween. Halloween is right away the corner" she told us with a smile. Sam was the first to show her pumpkin "My pumpkin's drunk." Chanel looked at it "Approved.", "Mine's Charles Manson." #3 said with a smirk "Love." Chanel replied then I turn mine around "Mine's the Chanel logo." Chanel smiled at me "Beautiful.", "Mine's Chad Radwell." Hester said turning hers around "Fine." Chanel replied with a weirded out look "Mine's Hurricane Andrew and the destruction it wrought on the state of Florida." Jennifer told her Chanel just stared at her making Jennifer put her head down. "Mine's just a regular jack-o-lantern, which I'm sure you'll hate." Grace said "Correct, start over" Chanel told her with sass in her voice "Zayday?" Chanel asked looking at her as the Chanels and I walked behind her, Zayday turned her pumpkin around to show that it said 'Yes, I Can' "What the hell does that mean?" Chanel asked her confused "Well, for Halloween I'm hosting a haunted house to raise money for sickle anemia. Because...today is the day that I declare my intention to run for president of Kappa House." Zayday said with a slight smile. This made Chanel drop her pumpkin "What?!" Chanel yelled at her "Wait...why are you holding a fund-raiser though?" Jennifer asked from her spot next to Sam "To show my voters that I'm a serious candidate and it isn't just a popularity contest." Zayday responded "But all your voters are in this room. You could've just told us." Jennifer said back to her "Hey, Jennifer can you hop off the spectrum for just one second." Chanel told her scoffing "I don't think you understand the magnitude of the miscalculation you just made." Chanel walked over to Zayday "I can assure you you will not be winning an election anytime soon. And when you loose, I am gonna make it my lifelong passion to destroy you reputation." Chanel finished "Let me brew you a hot cup of tellin' it like it is. You're a stuck up little sociopath, and everybody in this room knows it. I'm reasonably confident that these girls will kick your psycho ass to the curb the first chance they get. It might behoove you to recall that everybody here witnessed you actually murder somebody, a fact that's one anonymous phone call away form being a juicy little segment on the local news." Zayday challenged her "I didn't kill . And if I do murder someone, it's gonna be you." Chanel said back to her then walked away.
Later that night number 3, 5 and I walk into Chanel's closet to find her sitting behind her counter sharping knifes, "Chanel, it's 3'00 a.m." I said to her as we stopped in front of the counter "We're concerned about your mental health. What are you doing?" #3 said after me, Chanel slowed down the motions of the sharping "Just sharping knifes. Kitchen knifes should be...razor-sharp." then she wined "Chanel we're here for you. It's gonna be okay" #3 said to her as we walked over to her. Chanel stood up with the newly sharped knifes "A sitting Kappa president has not lost the office to a freshmen in 150 years." she then started walking towards number 3 swinging the knifes around "I am responsible for the worst pledge class in Kappa history." then she started walking towards #5 and I as we backed up against the wall of shoes "And now Zayday's gonna win because we live in the age of Obama? What will I do? Where will I go? Who will I be?" then she walked back towards the door "Chanel, please. Put the knifes down." I told her. Chanel sighed as she stopped in front of the doors "I'm sorry." she turned around before continuing "I don't know what came over me." we all walked back to the counters "Look Zayday's throwing a haunted house for charity,so... we'll just have to...throw another party, like...like um..." #5 said thinking of ideas while number 3 and I rolled our eyes "A haunted pumpkin patch." Chanel said for her "How very adolescent of you to think of this. It vaguely smacks of something my six year old sister would be excited about. but... great. Yes." #3 said to her "A haunted pumpkin patch created expressly to raise money for some disease more heinous than Zayday's sickle cell anemia haunted house. Like, um, um..." she looked and #5 and I for an answer "Guinea worm." #5 said "No." Chanel rejected "Wolfman Syndrome." I said to her "No." Chanel said to me "Bark skin." #5 tried again "Next." Chanel rejected again "Lamprey face." #3 suggested "No!" Chanel yelled in frustration picking up the knifes "Hold on." I told them taking out my phone "It's the most disgusting disease in the history of mankind. You get it when you don't understand the most basic tenets of oral hygiene." I tell them. Number 5 looked at me "Okay, what is it?" she asked impatiently "Black...Hairy...tongue." I tell them putting my phone on the table for them to look at "Chanels... thank you." Chanel told us smiling then putting her arms out motioning for us to hug her so we did.
The Chanels and I walked through the cafeteria giving people invitations to the pumpkin patch "I have it on good authority that the Red Devil is going to kill someone in Zayday's haunted house. Don't let it be you." Chanel announced "How do you know that's gonna happen?" #5 asked her "I don't, but how stupid would the killer be to not kill someone there? It's Halloween, everyone will be in costume. Hell, he could kill someone and people would still think it was a decoration." Chanel replied to her while we put the paper on people's trays. "You have this way too thought out." #3 said to her "Isn't this kind of nice? I mean, why else did we all join a sorority in the first place?" Chanel asked us stopping in the middle of the cafeteria "My sense of personal identity is completely external. If I didn't have Kappa to define me I really don't have much to offer." #3 said walking past her, "I found that my particular style of speaking and gesticulation is extremely off-putting to most boys. And girls. And Anyone. But with Kappa as my calling card, everyone seems to overlook that." #5 said after her as we walked behind her "My sense of style and leadership skills is why I joined. And probably because my whole family have been Kappa's. I'm a legacy." I informed them "I joined for whatever reason you joined, Chanel" Hester said to her "No I'm taking about girls uniting with a common goal." Chanel said locking arms with #5 and Hester while #3 and I locked arms "I needed you guys to totally crush the will of young Zayday. To destroy her haunted house, sure, but also to destroy her spirit. And you have all rallied around me Just like I would do for any of you is I wasn't busy that day." Chanel finished her speech "I need to eat, my blood sugar is crashing." #5 told her "I would be honored to treat you all to lunch." Hester said to us as we walked to our table "We always bring our own." #3 and I say to her. When we sit down we pull out our lunches which consisted of cotton balls and three sauces, "I am so grateful that you guys are sharing your not food lunch with me, but won't we, like, die if we eat cotton balls?" Hester asked us "Only if they cause a blockage in our intestinal tracts, but that's what the sauce is for." #3 told her then eating a cotton ball "Lubrication. And it gives you that wonderfully full feeling without all of the calories." #5 said to her, Hester tries eating one of the cotton balls hesitantly putting one in her mouth. Chanel puts her cotton ball on the table "You know what? Poo Belly is right. I'm tired of depriving myself of joy and sustenance. I mean for what? So a boy will like me? Guys can be as porky as they want and we still like them. I'm as skinny as Karen Carpenter in the morgue and Chad Radwell still won't commit to me." Chanel tells as then stands up "I may die at the end of a serial killer's blade, but I refuse to die hungry." we all look at her still eating the cotton except Hester, Chanel then sighs "Let's go get some pizza.". We all start walking to the lunch line when a frat boy's howling stops us "Which one of you ladies would like to be my costume for Halloween? I'm going as 'Dude Having Awesome Sex With You'. " he said laughing as he walked up to us before stopping "Who the hell do yo think you are?" #5 asks him with an attitude "Uh...Tommy?" he replied before another boy from his frat walked over "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa , ladi...ladies." He backed up as we turned to look at him "All right. He was just trying to be nice, okay? I mean, what the hell's wrong with the world where a guy can't even whistle at a chick just to tell her she looks hot? I mean, how else are people supposed to meet people?" the boy said to us making Chanel sigh, "I recently took a women's studies class. Yes, because it was a requirement, but I also learned a lot anyways. Like the culture that says it's okay for a man to objectify a women for her appearance is the same culture that pressures girls as young as ten to have eating disorders." Chanel informs them. "So you're basically saying I'm the one responsible for making you look hot? You're welcome." Tommy tells us "There is a killer on this campus murdering women. When you treat us like meat, you're no better than him!" I tell him as I walk up to him as #3 joins me "Are you gonna tell us to smile now? Call us sweetheart?" she asks him "Actually yes, it's kind of my signature move." he replies to her. "Yea, well this is mine!" Hester tells him before kicking him is the balls and he groans in pain, the other boy go's to help him when #5 trips and #3 catches his tray "You bitch!" Tommy says to Hester, Chanel walks up to him "Hey, that's my sister and she's no bitch, but I am." she then punches him in the face followed by Hester then #3 hitting him with the tray breaking it in half and he falls to the ground, we all then start kicking the two boys as Hester grabs the trash can dumping it on them "You wanna see me smile? Well I'm smiling!" Hester tells them. We then all stop tired "Wow,.Those cotton balls do not provide much energy, do they? I asks them, the whole cafeteria begins clapping and cheering at what we did then Chanel kicks them one last time.
The cops show up at our house again later that night "We have to file a missing person's report. Someone's kidnapped Zayday." Grace tells one of the officers as we all stand in the living room "I just hope she's found alive in time for the election. I mean it would be insane to vote for a girl who might already be dead." Chanel tells the cop "Dean Munsch you got to shut down this campus immediately!" Grace's dad tells her. The dean turns around and looks at him with a fake smile "Oh, hello, Weston." he continues to talk "There are five dead bodies in that house. Laid out in horrible and deliberate macabre poses.". The detective then begins to talk "The department is not prepared to say that the bodies there are related in any way to these alleged incidents that have been happening on campus." he tells him "Because it's an off campus house." Dean Munsch cuts in "You can't be serious." Weston says to her. "Lets go over the list of dead people. who, apparently, has been dead for a few weeks... Mm-hmm, and also apparently had her face fried off." she states, Chanel fake gasps "What?! Not ! No! No!" she then hugs me while fake sobbing, I hug her back while looking at everyone "They were very close." I tell them "More importantly, not a student." Dean Munsch says back to me then Chanel gets off of me and I go sit next to Earl while Hester takes my place "Next?" the dean says "Shondell Washington, security guard, also dead at least two weeks." the detective continues "Also... not a student." the Dean cuts in again. "A Jane Doe. Approximately age 40. Uh, cause of death:stabbed a whole lot and all over." he says then looking down at the Dean And not a student." she informs once again. "Well what about Coney?" Grace asks them "Yeah, yeah, his head was chopped off by a chainsaw just like the one the Red Devil used to cut that guys arms off." Pete explains backing her up "Now, I'm no detective but that does seem a little more than coincidental." Gigi states "And Chanel #2. I mean I know for a fact that she was a student." #5 says after "Yea, she was in my art history class, I think." #3 claims. "If you continue to refuse to admit that this campus and its students are under attack, then I will be forced to go to the media." Weston tells the Dean "Okay, adults, why don't we head into the kitchen. We can discuss the best course of action over crepes." Dean Munsch says then walks to the kitchen with the cops following but Grace and her dad talk while the Chanels and I go upstairs with Earl following me before Grace stops us, "Wait. Excuse me, where are you going? We need to form a search party for Zayday?" she says to us before we turn to her "Zayday should have considered the fact that she was gonna get kidnapped before betraying me." Chanel tells her. We start going up when Grace talks to Chanel again "You know what Chanel, you make it harder and harder to believe that you're not the killer." Chanel scoffs at her "Ladies we have a pumpkin patch fund raise to attend to." she tells us then we go up the stairs to carve out the pumpkins.